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Ashley's TTC journal


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  #4141  
March 3rd, 2011, 08:34 AM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: St. Louis, MO
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CD27 - 11-12DPO

Well, the positive attitude has not only faded, it has completely disappeared. Im only 11 or 12DPO and cant understand why, for the first time EVER, my temp is AT coverline this early I dont know whats going on and its so frustrating.

I'll just X-post how I feel today from TTCMA:

I fooled myself into believing that since I've lost so much weight and gotten so healthy on our little "break" that maybe this would help. I think I was really starting to believe it, but as today hits with a huge temp drop its hitting me. Harder than it hit me when my RE told us we needed IVF back a few months ago. Why me? Why us? Part of me feels like doing it RIGHT NOW because its no use continuing what we're doing. And the other part of me feels like, F it. I cant take it anymore and dont think I could go through all that, especially the financial burden.

I think i've cried 3 or 4 times already this morning. I just want to be normal and get pregnant by having sex. Thats it, thats all we should have to do. Why cant every state cover IVF? That would make this crap so much easier on so many women I swear.

I dont even know what to do with myself. I was so happy for a couple months with all the hard work I had put into myself losing so much weight and getting so healthy, and now here I am back in this slump I have been in for TWO years.

I dont know what to do, I dont....

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Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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  #4142  
March 3rd, 2011, 05:33 PM
katiep726's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Louisville, KY
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I'm really sorry Ashley. I haven't been around long enough to know your whole story but I did read through your FF chart. It's so not fair. I will never understand why deserving couples have such a hard time and undeserving people get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

I haven't been trying near as long as you so I can't say I understand. But at 23 I also thought this would be much easier and quicker than it has. I can't imagine how you feel
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Thank you Vicki... For the adorable siggy!
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  #4143  
March 3rd, 2011, 05:57 PM
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hon.. I really hope the temp is just a fluke. I don't think you're out until the witch shows which I really really hope won't happen!!
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Baby girl born Feb 2013






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  #4144  
March 3rd, 2011, 09:38 PM
fromustobaby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry...but dont discount those positive changes that you have made...they do make a difference!
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  #4145  
March 4th, 2011, 02:43 AM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry. I wish there was something I could say to make you feel better. It is so awesome that you are so much healtheier though. If you do decide to move to IVF I know being healthy will help a ton.
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  #4146  
March 4th, 2011, 07:53 PM
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Your temp went up a bit today hon.. I still have everything crossed!!
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- 03/28/10 09/'10 06/'11, D&C July 20 Apr/'12

Baby girl born Feb 2013






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  #4147  
March 5th, 2011, 06:45 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm with Tonya... don't give up on those changes making a difference. Sometimes it just takes a little bit for things to completely click into place.

I know how hard all of this is. The last time I saw my RE, he lowered that 3 letter boom on me too and while I always knew it was out there as a possibility, but there's just something about hearing a doctor say you need it.

For what it's worth... I really do believe it's going to happen for you guys. Hang in there and try to keep your chin up. Hopefully today's temp will be higher than yesterdays.
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  #4148  
March 6th, 2011, 06:34 AM
~Caroline~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hey Ashley, I just wanted to offer some ((hugs)). I'm so proud of you for all the efforts you've been doing, getting healthier is always a good thing, no matter what. Life is unfair, it really is. You deserve to be a mom so much and I know you will be someday, and I hope it'll be soon. ((hugs))
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  #4149  
March 6th, 2011, 09:45 AM
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Lyz Lyz is offline
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I just wanted to stop by and offer my to you.....
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  #4150  
March 9th, 2011, 06:01 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That is all.
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  #4151  
March 9th, 2011, 06:59 AM
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I'm sorry Ash
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- 03/28/10 09/'10 06/'11, D&C July 20 Apr/'12

Baby girl born Feb 2013






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  #4152  
March 22nd, 2011, 09:05 AM
**Jenn**'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Huge HUGS Ashley.

I hope you don't mind but I check on you a lot and you're always in my prayers that you get your sticky baby asap.
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Our angel baby forever missed--1/3/03

Ailish Laura born October 20th, 2012.
8lbs 12oz and 20.75 inches

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  #4153  
March 28th, 2011, 10:22 PM
artisticmind's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Still following your journal. I really hope you get a miracle soon
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Baby Girl expected 2.12.13!

Annie :wife to JJ and mommy to Riley
missing our Feb. 2012
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  #4154  
April 8th, 2011, 08:52 PM
ChicaChels's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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you know I pray for you endlessly
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Maverick Jude
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
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  #4155  
April 13th, 2011, 07:52 AM
Etph007's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hey Ash! Just thinking of you!
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  #4156  
April 16th, 2011, 08:12 PM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by **Jenn** View Post
Huge HUGS Ashley.

I hope you don't mind but I check on you a lot and you're always in my prayers that you get your sticky baby asap.
Quote:
Originally Posted by artisticmind View Post
Still following your journal. I really hope you get a miracle soon
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChicaChels View Post
you know I pray for you endlessly
Quote:
Originally Posted by Etph007 View Post
Hey Ash! Just thinking of you!

Awww, thanks girls! I didnt know anyone still checked on me! Im doing good, just focusing on other things right now, mainly eating right and the gym! As of today im down about 22lbs since mid-December and my body looks SO different...im loving it for the time being!
__________________
Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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  #4157  
April 20th, 2011, 12:42 PM
~Caroline~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Montreal
Posts: 6,347
WTG Ash!

Do you have before and after pics? (If you don't mind sharing of course).
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  #4158  
April 20th, 2011, 01:12 PM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 14,102
Before-Left-(Dec 2010) / After-Right-(April 2011)




Before-Left-(Dec 2010) / After-Right-(April 2011)



I've hated my legs all of my life, and im finally happy with them I started at a size 9/11 (seriously I was a size 3/5 up until I was about 20 so 9/11 was depressing, and I dont mean that to offend anyone everyone has their insecurities and I was always a smaller girl) so I started at a size 9/11 in December and im now a 5 on my way down to a 3 (still losing weight!)

__________________
Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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  #4159  
April 20th, 2011, 01:45 PM
Etph007's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Virginia
Posts: 7,252
WOOWWWWWWWA!!!!! Look at you!!
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  #4160  
April 20th, 2011, 03:29 PM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Louisville, KY
Posts: 7,706
Wow!!! Ash that's totally amazing!!!! Congrats girl! You look great!
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