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Casey's ttc#1 journal


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  #1  
February 17th, 2009, 11:52 PM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hello everyone. I'm getting started a little late with the journal, but I just noticed there was a journal section about a week ago. I don't know if I have too much to say to fill up a journal, but here I go.

About us:
I met my DH Jeff while working at a psychiatric hospital for children and adolescents. I always make sure to tell everyone we were not patients, as you can imagine I get some pretty strange looks when I tell people where we met, LOL! Anyway, I had a crush on him at the same time he was crushing on me, but I couldn't tell if he like me or not and vice versa. (I had pretty low self-esteem at the time and it always amazed me when a guy noticed me). Well, DH asked me one day at work if I was going out with everyone afterwards and I said yes, not thinking this was him trying to ask me out. My brother called me drunk and needing a ride so I obviously couldn't go. DH thought I was standing him up! A couple weeks later I asked him and another girl at work if they wanted to go feed the ducks, both were game but the other girl backed out at the last minute so it was just me and DH. Well, from there we started dating and after a year he proposed at the same place as our first date. He hid the ring box a few pieces down in the bread. My DH was completely freaked out when I handed him a bunch of pieces of bread because he had counted how far down it was and I completely messed his counting up! After a year of being engaged, we married on July 8, 2006. We moved a month later to Louisville so I could get into their accelarated nursing degree program for second degree students. While in my mother/baby semester I really started to get baby fever. For school we had to find a pregnant mother or be set up with one and follow the woman's pregnancy. My SIL was pregnant at the time and she let me use her for my project. She was pregnant with her third. I graduated in August '08 and the ttc journey was getting close.

Us now:
I wanted to wait to ttc until after I had finished nursing school and passing my boards. I went of BCP on Sept. 26, the day I found out I passed. I'm a very over-acheiver and just assumed that I would get pregnant the first time. Silly, delusional me! After that cycle was a bust I thought it would definately happen by the third. You would think I would've learned! Now we are on cycle 4/ 5th month (I was so stressed in Dec. with ttc I ovulated much later than usual). December was a very hard month for me. I found out my BFF who wasn't even trying got pg. To top it off my DH has 4 cousins and all of their wives announced they were pg back to back. Needless to say I was devastated and each new announcement was absolutely devastating. I felt like a complete failure as a woman. However, December was also when I discovered JM and began lurking. After a couple of weeks I finally got the nerve to join. JM has been a lifesaver to me. Since I'm still new to this area, I don't have a lot of friends and I don't feel comfortable talking about this stuff with the ones I do have. JM has been so great; I can finally talk about ttc with people who understand how emotional this journal is without hearing comments like "it will happen soon" and "are you pregnant yet."
Anyway, onto cycle 4. Hope we all get our Nov. BFPs and look forward to turkey babies!
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  #2  
February 18th, 2009, 09:29 AM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yay for starting your journal!!!! I know all too well how stressful this stuff is! And I can say relax, but I know from experience there is no relaxing while ttc!!!! Good Luck and I hope you get a BFP very soon!! Alot of girls here are on their 4th cycle (including me) so hopefully it will be LUCKY #4 for all of us!!! (and Lucky sticky bean for me! after my 2 losses)

GOOD LUCK!!!!
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Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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  #3  
February 18th, 2009, 03:32 PM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Yay for starting your journal!!!! I know all too well how stressful this stuff is! And I can say relax, but I know from experience there is no relaxing while ttc!!!! Good Luck and I hope you get a BFP very soon!! Alot of girls here are on their 4th cycle (including me) so hopefully it will be LUCKY #4 for all of us!!! (and Lucky sticky bean for me! after my 2 losses)

GOOD LUCK!!!![/b]
I'm so sorry for your losses. I know I've told you before, but I just can't imagine what you're going through. I hope you get a super sticky bean this time!
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  #4  
February 19th, 2009, 04:41 PM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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CD 11
Ugh! I feel like crap today! I had to work last night, and it wasn't a bad night at all but I left with a headache. I'm a third shift nurse in a cardiovascular ICU and alarms are constantly ringing, hence, the headache! I woke up and still have a headache, but I also feel nauseated, had a little diarrhea (sorry for the TMI), and am so exhausted. Luckily work called and told me I didn't have to be in until 11pm and there is a possibility they won't need me at all. Please let them call and tell me to stay home! Other than that, just waiting to O. My husband and I do have a new game plan, to BD every other day and any time I think I have fertile CM. FF changed my O date last cycle so I want to make sure all my bases are covered!
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  #5  
February 19th, 2009, 07:03 PM
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I'm right there with you on TTC and being the Over achieving type...I thought it would happen easily too! Oops. lol I'm still new here but this is already helping! Even DH is loving it because I'm not trying to talk to him about everything, which let's be honest, can only get you so far...lol


I wish you the best!
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  #6  
February 20th, 2009, 10:13 PM
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I'm glad you started a TTC journal...it definately does help. If with nothing else, just getting your thoughts and feelings down so they don't seem to eat away at you. GL...and here's to us ALL getting a
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  #7  
February 22nd, 2009, 02:24 AM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We definately need some BFPs around here!

CD13
Well I had a crazy night at work last night. I did CPR on a patient for the first time and he made it! I can't even begin to describe the feeling of knowing you saved someone's life! Anyway, on the ttc front, I test with an Answer brand OPK and I think it was positive. It was darker than the previous days's but it was only as dark as the control on one side of the line and faded, but it was still pretty dark. I have only had a little sticky CM so I don't know what the deal is. I know my last cycle towards the beginning I had some fertile CM but FF said I O'd later when I had a patch of fertile CM again. Is it possible to get two fertile patches in a month? Also, is the Answer brand known for false positives? I would appreciate any help.
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  #8  
February 23rd, 2009, 01:00 PM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow that must have been an AMAZING feeling saving someone's life!!!

Good luck Oing!! I know nothing about OPKs. The only advice i have is just to make sure you get lots of BDing in and you should be good!

BTW, sorry it took me so long to respond to your journal! I just now saw it
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  #9  
February 23rd, 2009, 01:15 PM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ive been getting fertile cm on all kinds of crazy days this cycle, like the day after AF ended so im with ya on that. You can have it more than once per month, so as Ive learned just keep bd'ing as much as possible to make sure you cover your bases. I started using opk's this month, and to be honest I hate them and probably will never use them again. Its just a waste (to me) and they stress me out! Good Luck this cycle!
__________________
Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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  #10  
February 23rd, 2009, 03:21 PM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Wow that must have been an AMAZING feeling saving someone's life!!!

Good luck Oing!! I know nothing about OPKs. The only advice i have is just to make sure you get lots of BDing in and you should be good!

BTW, sorry it took me so long to respond to your journal! I just now saw it [/b]
OPKs can be so confusing! If I don't get PG I may not even use them next cycle. Thanks for your comment. I know there a lot of journals to go through!

Quote:
Ive been getting fertile cm on all kinds of crazy days this cycle, like the day after AF ended so im with ya on that. You can have it more than once per month, so as Ive learned just keep bd'ing as much as possible to make sure you cover your bases. I started using opk's this month, and to be honest I hate them and probably will never use them again. Its just a waste (to me) and they stress me out! Good Luck this cycle![/b]
Thanks! I thought I was the only one who had fertile CM a couple times a month. Yeah, I completely agree with you on the OPKs. They are more stress than they are worth!
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  #11  
February 25th, 2009, 07:27 PM
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Saving someones life...that is amazing...I can't imagine the feeling... So special!!
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  #12  
February 25th, 2009, 11:04 PM
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Quote:
We definately need some BFPs around here!

CD13
Well I had a crazy night at work last night. I did CPR on a patient for the first time and he made it! I can't even begin to describe the feeling of knowing you saved someone's life! Anyway, on the ttc front, I test with an Answer brand OPK and I think it was positive. It was darker than the previous days's but it was only as dark as the control on one side of the line and faded, but it was still pretty dark. I have only had a little sticky CM so I don't know what the deal is. I know my last cycle towards the beginning I had some fertile CM but FF said I O'd later when I had a patch of fertile CM again. Is it possible to get two fertile patches in a month? Also, is the Answer brand known for false positives? I would appreciate any help.[/b]

Isn't the feeling of saving someone's life the best? I'm a firef fighter/emt and have seen a lot of rough stuff, but nothing will ever compare to saving a life! Actually, delivering a baby in the back seat of a car while the other FF's FREAKED out was REALLY REALLY cool to!!
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  #13  
February 25th, 2009, 11:46 PM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ladies! It was pretty amazing saving a person's life, but unfortunately a few hours later he passed. Apparently he had some reaction to blood products he received during surgery. I'm just glad we gave him a little more time so his family could say their good-byes.

CD 17
I'm feeling really depressed and discouraged. I have been fighting tears all evening. I'm so scared that I will not be able to have kids. I know that it sounds crazy, but I have just had this feeling from the beginning that there is something wrong and it just won't happen for us. I know it's crazy to be so pessimistic when we are only on cycle 4, but it's just how I feel. I really hope that I'm wrong and that I am just overreacting like I do all of the time! Sorry to be such a downer. Have any of you felt like this? I think what makes this so hard is that eveytime I turn around there is another person I know who is pg without trying. I swear there must be a baby boom here in Kentucky. I want to be a mother so very badly! It really hurts having some many people in DHs family pg when I want it so badly. Don't get me wrong I am thrilled for them, but terribly sad for us. DH would be such a wonderful daddy. He is amazing with his nieces and nephew. As I am writing this I realize I am jumping the gun on the pessimism. I really hope I'm proven wrong and get my BFP soon.
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  #14  
February 26th, 2009, 07:57 AM
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aww hun! I'm sorry you are having a rough day about being about to conceive. I've been there too as I'm sure alot of people have. It's really hard when you want to be pregnant so bad but you can't. I am really hoping this is your month!!
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  #15  
February 26th, 2009, 09:27 AM
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I'm sorry you've been so down! I've definitely been there and i'm only on my 3rd cycle. We just tend to think of the worst case scenario. Please try not to think that way though, it will only make things harder. I'm confident that you will see your BFP soon and have your own baby to love!! Hang in there hun!!
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  #16  
February 26th, 2009, 04:14 PM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ladies! I am feeling a little better today. Partly because I think I finally figured out those silly OPKs. I had a very clear positive today so I'm counting my other two positives as negatives because they were not quite as dark as todays. Todays test was darker than the control line so hopefully I will O soon. Also I think my BBT is not working and will buy a new one today. This crazy thing hasn't worked right since I bought it, it has never read a number in the hundreths place. I really appreciate the comments. I was starting to think I was completely irrational and that no one else ever felt this type of pessimism. Thanks so much for the support. I hope we all get our BFPs this month.
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  #17  
February 27th, 2009, 08:33 AM
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Glad you're doing better today! I REALLY hope we all get our BFPs too!!! I can't say it enough! I hope you O soon hun!!
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  #18  
February 28th, 2009, 04:03 PM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Quote:
We definately need some BFPs around here!

CD13
Well I had a crazy night at work last night. I did CPR on a patient for the first time and he made it! I can't even begin to describe the feeling of knowing you saved someone's life! Anyway, on the ttc front, I test with an Answer brand OPK and I think it was positive. It was darker than the previous days's but it was only as dark as the control on one side of the line and faded, but it was still pretty dark. I have only had a little sticky CM so I don't know what the deal is. I know my last cycle towards the beginning I had some fertile CM but FF said I O'd later when I had a patch of fertile CM again. Is it possible to get two fertile patches in a month? Also, is the Answer brand known for false positives? I would appreciate any help.[/b]

Isn't the feeling of saving someone's life the best? I'm a firef fighter/emt and have seen a lot of rough stuff, but nothing will ever compare to saving a life! Actually, delivering a baby in the back seat of a car while the other FF's FREAKED out was REALLY REALLY cool to!!
[/b]
That so awesome! What a rush! I can't imagine the feeling of helping to bring life into this world.
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  #19  
February 28th, 2009, 04:11 PM
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CD 20
Okay so I had another crazy night at work. My patient went into a rhythm called rapid a-fib, which is a very irregular beat. His heart rate was in the 140s and his blood pressure was dropping really low. I called the doctor and he told me to do synchronized cardiovering, basically I had to give him a couple little shocks. After the 3rd one he snapped out of it and went back to his original rhythm. It was my first time cardioverting a patient and it was pretty exciting.

Now on the ttc front, I got another clear positive OPK. Yesterday's was negative but the day before that was positive. I'm hopping it means I will O soon. My temps are a little weird, but this is only my 2nd cycle temping and I'm still trying to get things worked out. My temps are much higher than last cycle because I've been so anal about taking my thyroid medication. Before I put in the + OPKs FF predicted the first few days in March as my fertile time so I hope it comes soon! I hope it's normal to have a couple days of + OPKs. I'm starting to worry that I won't O, but I will wait another week before I completely freak out! We have been trying much harder this cycle, lots more BDing, so I hope the work pays off! Waiting to O is pretty much all that's happening here. GL to everyone else waiting to O and all the ladies in the 2ww!
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  #20  
March 2nd, 2009, 12:09 PM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It looks to me like you'll be Oing really soon!!! I've seen several people with +OPKs for a couple days so i'm sure it's normal! Don't worry about Oing or the stress could delay it even more!! Good luck hun!!!
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