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Cheryl & Darren's (moved) TTC Journal!


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  #1  
March 19th, 2009, 07:40 PM
Cheryl_W's Avatar Izzy's Mom!
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Hi everyone! I'm moving everything over here from the basic TTC Journal forum, on the recommendation of my lovely TTC buddy Leslielu!

I'm just going to copy/paste everything from the other thread here, and carry on. So here goes!

Quote:
Hi and welcome to my TTC journal. I'm so excited right now, I can hardly wait. First, a little about us I suppose...

We've been together for just over a year, but we knew very early that things were meant to be. We've been talking/planning marriage for about 6 months now, and just purchased our wedding bands. We've decided to keep things simple, so once DF gets the engagement ring, he will ask my Dad, then we'll be married by a justice of the peace, probably in a park or a public facility.

On February 6th, we'd been talking about starting a family but didn't think we were quite ready yet, so I had an IUD (Flexi-T, the Canadian equivalent of a Paraguard) inserted by my OB/GYN. The first week was miserable with cramps and spotting, the second week was great with the IUD, but unfortunately I was sick with the flu... Then my strings disappeared, so I needed an ultrasound. Then AF was late, and after 3 BFNs and a week of waiting, AF finally showed with miserable cramps, worse than I'd ever had. And after two weeks of PMS (which is NOT like me), I'd had enough, and so had he...

But when I had my US, we started talking seriously about TTC. DF actually even admitted to me that he kind of wished the IUD had been expelled, and that I would get a BFP at the end of the month. When we both realized that our little "scare" was actually something we both wanted, we decided that at my 6 week checkup with my OB/GYN (Mar. 20) that I would have it removed.

The plan is not to actively chart, not get too caught up in TTC and numbers and statistics... We both know it is more likely to happen if we just let it happen naturally anyhow, so we're just going to stop using BC and enjoy the practice!

One of the main reasons I want to keep this journal is to show our future child one day. To show them how much we wanted them, how much we were looking forward to bringing them into the world, and how in love we are now.

Anyhow, I've rambled enough for now... I suppose the "stats" of the day are appropriate.

AF day 5, hopefully will be over soon.
Oed last cycle at approx. day 17 (can't remember exactly, going by EWCM), AF 14 days later.
If this cycle is the same, O will occur approx. Mar 22nd (after IUD removed, so chance of Baby!!) and AF or BFP on April 5th!

That is the extent of what I'm tracking... No temps, no ov. kits, just trying to BD around O, then wait! Of course there will be plenty of practice before then, we're not married yet.

Baby dust to all, and heres hoping for a BFP by April 5! (I just know it will be a girl if I conceive this cycle... For some reason I can't shake that now is the time! Of course we'll be happy with anything, but a granddaughter for our parents would be something really special in a family full of boys )

- Cheryl W.

Old March 9th, 2009, 04:04 PM
Leslielu2203
Hi Cheryl!

Sounds like we are similar in the fashion that we aren't really "trying" all that hard. Sort of doing it the old fashion way by no kits and no charting, not that there is anything wrong with that! I think that it will keep us relaxed and hopefully we won't stress out too much!

Good luck to you!

Old March 12th, 2009, 12:53 PM
Cheryl_W

Been avoiding posting for a couple of days, had a bit of a "step backwards" in TTC... I was probably just being emotional, but DF started going back to the way he was talking before we decided to start TTC - questioning whether we should be having a baby. At least, thats the way I took it...

But after a cry, and some hugs and kisses, he nicely explained that he hadn't changed his mind he was just expressing his feelings and concerns, and that I just shouldn't listen to him anymore LOL

Gave the cat and the dog a bath yesterday (they were filthy, it was a necessary evil...) and all I could think about when they were in the tub is how nice it will be to do that with our son or daughter.

It is day 8 of AF, and it is pretty much gone (yay!). My big appointment with the OB/GYN is a week tomorrow, so I'm going to have the IUD out. According to the calculator on the FirstResponse site I'm going to ovulate right around that time, and it IS a weekend - so lots of practice around then I suppose!

Baby dust to all!

- Cheryl W.

Old March 12th, 2009, 01:50 PM
Leslielu2203

My husband just doesn't ever want to talk about having kids. He is very awkward around kids in general, but I know that he is excited about the idea of being a father. He was an only child and was never around kids until my nephew was born. I want to have a baby and he doesn't admit that he does. I think that he feels that if he doesn't talk about wanting to be a daddy the he wont be disappointed if it doesn't happen soon. But he can't fool me! hahaha I know the truth. I told him that I was ready and it was up to him to decide when he was ready. I told him that he didn't have to tell me if he was, he would just have to do his thing when he was ready! hahaha..... Needless to say he did his thing like a week later.

He is so funny like that. Reading about your man and his second guessing things just reminds me of my man! At least he talks about things with you! haha consider your self lucky there!

I totally know what you mean about bathing the animals. My cat is crazy and I only gave her baths when she was a baby, however my three dogs are so disgusting and they get a bath like every week. I swear they go outside and find the nastiest things to roll around in! SICK!

One more week and you get the IUD out! How exciting!

Old March 12th, 2009, 02:35 PM
Cheryl_W

I'm very excited about getting my IUD out, especially the timing since I'm supposed to O right around then and fertility is regained instantly!

Very glad to see AF leave, too. This month was horrible with the IUD, when I would get a bad cramp it was almost like I could feel it poking my uterus! Ugh...

I am very grateful to have a DF as open and honest as Darren. I know he wants to be a father because in his previous relationship, he had two step-children. Since he's been with me, he has expressed how much he misses being "Dad". At first, I did take it personally, thinking that I can't give him the ready-made family etc. like he got from his ex. But now, I see how excited he is about having children of his own, and I feel thankful that I can give him that.

It's actually quite cute, every once in awhile he'll see something and tell me to "hurry up and get pregnant!" Of course it is in a joking, loving way... Last time, it was the new Black Diamond Cheese animal shapes. He told me to hurry up and get pregnant so he can have his fun finger foods back! I told him we can have cheese animals in the house without having babies, and he said it just isn't the same LOL

I really do love him, so much. When I went through the US to find my IUD, the only thing that kept me from freaking out and crying (I have always been a very easily stressed person) was knowing that he was there in spirit with me, and I got through it with a smile.

I know that when the BFP comes along, it will be the happiest day of our lives - until the baby is born, of course!

I think the best part about everything I've read about TTC and pregnancy and all of the choices we've made so far is the newfound awareness I have of my body. Knowing what is going on "down there" makes me feel lucky, there are so many women who see AF and pregnancy almost like an illness that needs medical intervention. I'm not religious, but I do believe that my body knows what it is doing and that the universe will bring our first miracle into our lives when the timing is right, we just have to be receptive (i.e. no contraception) and do our part with the BDing!!

Yet another reason I'm happy AF is gone... No BDing in like 2 weeks, between all of the appts and stress and overtime at his work, and then AF lasting 8 days. Happy that the weekend is coming, AF is gone... Lots of BD practice this weekend I hope! LOL

I'm glad you want to be my TTC buddy Its always nice to have an impartial person to talk to. It will be nice to talk about my hopeful BFP before taking the HPT, without getting DF all excited! LOL

- Cheryl W.

Old March 12th, 2009, 05:13 PM
Cheryl_W

AF came back not major, but enough to need Tampax. 8 days with my visitor, I've never had it last this long before! I want the IUD GONE!

Old March 12th, 2009, 06:27 PM
Leslielu2203

How annoying! I am sorry But just think soon enough it will be gone! Do you have to wait until AF is gone to get it out? Pardon my ignorance on the subject hahaha I don't really know a whole lot about IUD's. But I am guessing that you probably have to wait huh?

Old March 16th, 2009, 03:07 PM
Cheryl_W

No you don't have to wait, I'm still spotting and if I could have had it out a week ago I would have but I have to wait for the appt. cuz the doctor doesn't have a lot of openings. Oh well, it'll be out on Friday!

Old March 16th, 2009, 03:37 PM
Cheryl_W

So some excitement over the weekend... My baby nephew was born on Saturday morning at 10:25 - 6 lbs 2 oz

We went out to visit yesterday, and everyone was all over him... I hope I didn't hurt my sister's feelings, but I didn't hold the baby.

Part of it was being uncomfortable (I've never actually held a newborn), and knowing that babies can sense when you're tensed up I didn't want to make him cry, especially being passed around the room like he was it was already a big day for him!

The other part was trying to distance myself, because I knew if I held that baby, that would be the end of it for me and I would have to have one - and still not knowing 100% if DF is on board with the whole plan (he says he is, but actions speak louder than words, you know??)

Okay, so maybe the second part was most of it. It's also the reason I tend to avoid baby stores, baby sections of clothing stores, baby aisles in grocery stores and pharmacies, etc. - I put on a front saying that I'm uncomfortable with it so that I don't have to show that I'm exactly the opposite. LOL

We are going to go out there this weekend though, so I'll probably have to go shopping and bring him and my step-nephew something nice.

Absolutely no BDing over the weekend... Now it's been almost 3 weeks since anything at all, and depression is starting to kick in. I'm the kind of person who really, really enjoys "practice" - but DF isn't. He could take it or leave it, and usually he decides to leave it. It has actually gotten to the point now where I don't even try anymore, and it takes a lot to get me excited... Which I know is going to seriously hinder any chances of having a baby.

I don't know, maybe I'm the crazy one, but for most men that I've known, when your fiance actively tries to "persuade" you, you show enthusiasm. You don't start talking about how late it is, your head/back/tooth/ear/leg ache, and how you just want to go to sleep. But hey - what do I know.

Really makes a woman feel attractive when you say you want to get married and have children with her, but won't touch her with a 20 ft. pole even while still using protection.

Anyway, I have to stop thinking like that and be happy again, because the depression from lack of "attention" is really starting to effect other things - which isn't conducive to a BFP at the end of the month!

Okay, so stats for the day...

Day 12 of cycle today.

Oed last cycle at approx. day 17, so 5 days or so from now... AF 14 days later.

If this cycle is the same, O will occur approx. Mar 21st-22nd and AF or BFP on April 5th!

Baby dust to all...

- Cheryl W.

Old March 16th, 2009, 06:11 PM
EstrellaTTC

Hi there, I'm new here ::

But I just wanted to say that I feel the same way sometimes when it comes to BD. It just seems like I've always been more into it than DH. I'm always ready to go, but sometime he's "too tired". Which I don't understand, cuz I'm never too tired to BD lol. Has he always been like that, or is it just when you guys started ttc? Maybe he feels like you want to do it only because of that and it makes him uncomfortable? Just a thought

Old March 17th, 2009, 06:18 AM
Cheryl_W

No he has always been like that... The first week that we lived together, we took the week off to unpack, and we didn't BD ONCE. I was actually really upset about it at the time, but now looking back it was just a few feet down a rather slippery slope.

He said that the past few weeks has been because of the IUD, thinking he might hurt me or something... So I guess the IUD makes excellent birth control - abstinence is 100%!

He is excited about TTC, and he knows what I'm like when it comes to BDing so he knows it isn't just because of that LOL I guess it was just the IUD that made him uncomfortable, but I react badly to hormones and he won't use a condom so... I guess once the first baby is born we just don't BD until we want another??? Who knows.

We did actually get in some "practice" late last night, but I feel like he was basically just doing because I kept making comments about it, trying to "shut me up". I told him not to bother because it was late, we did anyway, now he spent the whole morning before work complaining about how tired he is like it's my fault or something.

Oh well, he's still excited about getting my IUD out so we can start trying for a baby, so I guess this is just a passing thing. As if timing and hormones weren't enough to contend with!! LOL

Day 13 of cycle, finally have completely stopped spotting, and T-minus 4 days to both O and IUD removal!

- Cheryl W.

Old March 17th, 2009, 10:43 PM
hopeful3853

Hi Cheryl,

Just wanted to say I empathize with you a bit about your situation with your DF. For me, my DH is just scared of taking the plunge with kids, but I can totally relate to the blow to the ego! Hope things get better for you.
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EstrellaTTC

Hmm I guess you and I just really like to BD! I definitely feel your frustration, every guy I've been with couldn't keep up with my urges to BD (although at the time I was trying NOT to get pg lol). Well I hope you and your hubby work things out

Old March 18th, 2009, 12:08 PM
Cheryl_W

Yes the blow to the ego has to be the hardest part, but we get over it. Onwards and upwards, as they say!

IUD removal on Friday... Trying to contain my excitement, since it is just excitement about being ABLE to conceive, not even excitement about taking a test yet LOL

Who would have ever thought I would get excited about ovulating. LOL

I get to visit my new nephew on Saturday, and get some real bonding time with him... I think the hardest part is going to be giving him back! But I'll love it, and maybe Darren seeing me with the newborn will get him a little more motivated *wink*

Day 14 of cycle, no signs of O yet except increasing CM, but that could be from not having to use Tampax anymore... IUD out in 3 days!

- Cheryl W.

Old March 19th, 2009, 07:16 AM
Cheryl_W

I'm getting even more excited... I could have sworn I had posted again in my journal, but apparently not?? It says in the thread list that the last post here was yesterday but that post is gone. Strange...

Oh well, tomorrow is the big day! My IUD is coming out, and I'll be Oing within a couple of days. So exciting!

I'm already starting to get the signs of O... Increasing CM, itchy breasts (for some reason that ALWAYS happens right before I O - no idea why, never heard of that before???)

Last night we went shopping for baby things for my sister, since we're going out to visit her on Saturday. DF and I were walking around the baby clothing section of the store just cooing at everything. He seems to be getting more excited about the idea, that's for sure!

It was actually funny, he seems to want a little girl just as bad as I do. Of course we would be happy with either, as long as they're healthy. But he told me last night that if we have a little girl, he isn't allowed out of the house without supervision - and definitely isn't allowed to carry cash! All of the little dresses he kept looking at (and my sister's newborn is a BOY), it was so cute.

I'm thankful that we agree on things so easily though. Some parents and couples find it difficult, they don't always agree on the little things, and that makes the big things even harder. But we seem to agree on nearly everything (except my ideas about a duckie-themed nursery, but he'll go along with it anyway to make me happy! LOL)

Ok, so stats for the day...

Day 15 of cycle. Day 17 (last months date of O) would be Saturday, IUD out tomorrow so *crossing fingers* my little eggy can wait until then and doesn't decide to show up early this month!

Tomorrow is the big day... I'm nervous, excited, and very much awake. I suppose time will tell what happens next!

- Cheryl W.

Old March 19th, 2009, 03:08 PM
Leslielu2203

YAY for the new baby being born! My best friend had a baby in January and it was so exciting! I could hardly contain myself. Now that I am ttc she is so excited that she can hardly contain herself!

Oh and I wanted to let you know cheryl that I moved my journal over to the TTC your first board. There is a great group of girls over there that you would really like

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cheryl_W View Post
We went out to visit yesterday, and everyone was all over him... I hope I didn't hurt my sister's feelings, but I didn't hold the baby.

Part of it was being uncomfortable (I've never actually held a newborn), and knowing that babies can sense when you're tensed up I didn't want to make him cry, especially being passed around the room like he was it was already a big day for him!

The other part was trying to distance myself, because I knew if I held that baby, that would be the end of it for me and I would have to have one - and still not knowing 100% if DF is on board with the whole plan (he says he is, but actions speak louder than words, you know??)

I am the same way!
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  #2  
March 19th, 2009, 07:54 PM
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YAY!
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  #3  
March 19th, 2009, 08:00 PM
Cheryl_W's Avatar Izzy's Mom!
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Yep, I'm here!!!
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  #4  
March 19th, 2009, 08:11 PM
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haha did you like my little cheerleader?

What time do you go in tomorrow?
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  #5  
March 19th, 2009, 08:17 PM
Cheryl_W's Avatar Izzy's Mom!
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I have yet to figure out most of the cool icons in this forum LOL

I go in at 2PM... Getting more and more excited, but nervous. Since they couldn't find my strings last time I went in, I'm worried I'll have to go to the hospital - AFTER I O this month - to get it removed... Arg, that would be so frustrating!!

You've been a busy bee posting in the TTC #1 forum!
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  #6  
March 19th, 2009, 08:25 PM
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haha yea I have been trying to get to know everyone over here!

The little icons are all under the smiley face thingy when you are posting. If you click on the show all smiles and BAM there are a crap ton of them in there. Some really cute ones too!

I don't know what the time difference is between us but I will be thinking about you tomorrow and hope that it all goes well.
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  #7  
March 19th, 2009, 08:30 PM
Cheryl_W's Avatar Izzy's Mom!
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I'm Pacific, and I think (from some of what you've said, but I may be confused) that you're Central - so it'll be 4PM when I go in (CDT is 2 hrs ahead of PDT)??

Anyway thanks for the happy thoughts! Still trying to post around here and get to know everyone!
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March 19th, 2009, 08:33 PM
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I am actually eastern time (I think hahaha) it is 10:33 pm right now.
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  #9  
March 19th, 2009, 08:37 PM
Cheryl_W's Avatar Izzy's Mom!
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7:33 here, so we're 3 hrs apart. So 5PM your time I'll be seeing the good doctor!
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March 19th, 2009, 11:23 PM
Cheryl_W's Avatar Izzy's Mom!
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Ok, so I'm thinking I'm having some serious O symptoms (I've never really paid attention before, and since I was on BCP from the time I was 16 until earlier this year, I haven't Oed in at least 5-6 years...)

Cramping, sore BBs, and serious crabbiness - which I hear can be from the hormones being higher around this time of month?? I don't know, like I said I'm not used to a normal cycle lol.

Just hoping O can hang on until tomorrow afternoon/evening at the earliest, haven't seen EWCM yet but lots of lotiony CM, more and more almost hourly so I know it's coming.

Please little eggy, wait until the IUD is gone and Daddy's little gametes can come visit you!!!

Baby dust to all, hoping for a April 5th! Soon to start the TWW... Hooray, it's gonna drive me NUTS. Thinking of picking up a bulk package of HPTs so I can POAS without spending $20 every time... Any reliable sources that take PayPal?? (that's what I use to shop online, I don't have a CC or a debit card that works online, because Canadian debit cards WON'T work online no matter what...)

Hopefully get in some BD practice tonite, so DF's little spermies are all healthy, new, and ready to go tomorrow and Saturday!!
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March 20th, 2009, 08:06 AM
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Welcome!!! Im Ashley (22) and my DBF is Jason (23) we are actually taking a 2 month break because we started to ttc our first this past November and have since had 3 early losses, so we are taking a break because of that and the fact that I dont want to be a HUGE pregnant woman on my wedding day! You sound like us kind of, we did things "backwards" according to the standards! We decided to start trying for a baby before we ever even thought about marriage! But after all of the losses and such we decided to get married this September in Vegas! (whoo-hoo!) I hope your ttc journey is short and sweet! GOOD LUCK!
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Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
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  #12  
March 20th, 2009, 12:38 PM
Cheryl_W's Avatar Izzy's Mom!
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Thanks! Yes I've seen some of your posts so I had heard about your losses, that must have been pretty devastating - but you have come out of it well. You'll be great parents, as you're strong enough to make it through something like that.

It was odd, I was watching The Mom Show the other day (I don't know if that have that in the US or if it is purely a Canadian show, but it is an awesome show...) and they were talking about dealing with losses, from m/c to stillbirth to perinatal death, and something that the "resident doctor" of the show (a practicing family GP from the Toronto area) said was that medicine really isn't as far along as people think.

He was talking about m/c's at this point, and he said that even when his mother got pregnant with him, the "pregnancy test" consisted of no period, two months in a row. If that happened, you went to the doctor. Nowadays with medical science being so accessible, and every woman being so much more aware of our bodies, m/c's seem like they're more common than they were 50 years ago - when really, they aren't more common, they're just more "visible".

Not at all trying to minimize your pain, I've been through an early m/c and I know - it's not fun. Even then, I wasn't even trying for a child, but the m/c broke up our relationship, which meant I never really had a chance to grieve. It has taken me a long time to get over that.

I just thought it was an interesting viewpoint on the issue. On the one hand, he is right - 50 years ago most women would never know if they miscarried before 8 weeks. On the other, isn't it better this way??
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March 20th, 2009, 12:53 PM
Cheryl_W's Avatar Izzy's Mom!
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So my appointment is in a little over two hours... And I'm going insane. Nervous, anxious, excited, happy, scared. I keep using the principles of the law of attraction and thinking about how things will turn out positive today. Then the little doubts kick in, and I have to package them up in a little pink box and stash them somewhere else in my brain so that they stop ruining my positive energy!

I know I'll be crushed if he can't find the string and remove my IUD... It will be absolutely devastating, and there will be nothing I can do about it. But that's not going to happen. I'm ovulating tomorrow, and DF and I are going to make a beautiful little baby in the next 72 hours.

Oh well, time for a shower, gotta get all "cleaned up" for the doc. I do like my OB/GYN, he's a very patient and understanding doctor. I just hope he can be patient enough to get this thing out of me!

Babydust!
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March 20th, 2009, 01:24 PM
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Posting YET AGAIN to say I just purchased a 25 pack of HPTs from saveontests.com (they're pretty local, only heard one bad thing about them everything else good, so figured I would try...)

WAY cheaper than the pharmacy. 25mIU/mL hCG detection for the First Response test, 2 test for $22 at the pharmacy. 20mIU/mL hCG for these, and it was $13.50 or something WITH SHIPPING for 25 tests. Almost half the price, for more than 10X the tests, and they're more sensitive. Personally anybody who buys store brand in-stream tests would have to be crazy after finding a deal like that!

We'll see how they work, hopefully one of them will be showing me my on April 5th!
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  #15  
March 20th, 2009, 02:23 PM
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Hi - was just reading your journal and wanted to wish you good luck on the IUD removal! I know it's not aways easy - but I truly believe that trying to envision things going well really helps them to turn out that way! I'm going to envision your next journal entry to be great news!!! Good luck!
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  #16  
March 20th, 2009, 02:34 PM
Super Mommy
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They will find those strings and pull that sucker out of you! hahaha! I know it! YOU have to let me know as soon as you get them out... well as soon as you can get to your computer that is! YAY!
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  #17  
March 20th, 2009, 04:20 PM
Cheryl_W's Avatar Izzy's Mom!
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Thanks for the support, guys! Looks like your well wishes worked!

He tried first with the swab, and that didn't work, but he grabbed the forceps (the little ones that look like big needle-nosed pliers, lol) and said "here it is!" and showed me LOL

My doc is awesome.

A little pain from the way he grabbed my cervix, but that happened with insertion too so I was expecting it. Luckily this time, because there was no brand-new-IUD, I could use a tampon instead of a giant diaper pad for the little bit of bleeding from removal.

So YAY! I am officially fertile, and awaiting some baby-making-love when DF gets home from work.

Taking my first prenatal vitamin... Who would have thought VITAMINS could be exciting? LOL

Quote:
Originally Posted by Denise123 View Post
Hi - was just reading your journal and wanted to wish you good luck on the IUD removal! I know it's not aways easy - but I truly believe that trying to envision things going well really helps them to turn out that way! I'm going to envision your next journal entry to be great news!!! Good luck!
And thanks for that Denise. I noticed your posts before, that you are also a firm believer in LOA (and yes, I've read a lot more than just "The Secret" - I've been following the LOA for years, starting with my business and now with my personal life.) I figured at one point or another the universe would bring you to my thread, to send out some good energy for me.

So thank you!
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  #18  
March 20th, 2009, 06:03 PM
Super Mommy
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Oh I am so glad that they could get it out for you! Just like that you are fertile? That is so awesome. Time for some baby making huh! Get to it girl!!!!
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  #19  
March 20th, 2009, 06:19 PM
Cheryl_W's Avatar Izzy's Mom!
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If I had the Mirena (the hormone one) no I wouldn't be fertile right away, but because I had the copper one I am. All the copper one does is mess up the spermies sense of direction and create an acidic, hostile environment for them, and agitate the uterine lining so implantation doesn't occur. No more agitated lining, no more copper to mess with the spermies, we're good to go!

Hooray for the baby dance! LOL
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  #20  
March 20th, 2009, 06:41 PM
Super Mommy
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That is so cool!I have never heard of such a thing (not that I really know a lot about it haha)!

and yes HOORAY FOR THE BABY DANCE!

I hope the spermies do their job!
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