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Coley TTC #1


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  #4081  
November 26th, 2011, 10:19 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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CD 2 of Cycle #34...

Lyz - No, I haven't tried Vitex before. I know I've heard of lots of ladies taking it though. Might have to do a bit of reading about it and see if it'd be a good fit.

Temps dropping nicely. At least I appear to know how to bleed properly!

I did do some reading yesterday. I pulled out my copy of The Infertility Cure and read some sections I'd kinda skipped over before because they didn't really apply to me at the time.

Right off the bat, I was reminded of some things that I'd either forgotten or had just totally slacked on. Diet wise, I've been having caffeine, sugar, "junk food", etc... I haven't been exercising or doing my yoga because the DVD was packed away... All things I know I should be doing. So in a way, I'm not really holding up my end of the bargain. Fair is fair.

So I've gotta get off my butt, go downstairs to the gym and exercise. I'm gonna start making better food choices, drinking decaf herbal tea instead of coffee and just trying to live healthier.

I'm gonna give the Lydia Pinkham a try as well. I know my mom wouldn't steer me wrong... and I've already got it, so I don't have to go spend money on something. I'm only going to take it up until O, then I'm gonna stop because it contains Black Cohosh, which can cause uterine contractions. My mom got me a bottle of tablets and a HUGE bottle of the liquid, both of which are good until April of 2013. I'm goin' tablet first, because I've read the liquid is not tasty!

Off to grab a shower now. We have a few errands to run, then it's off to my parents to spend the day with them & my BIL. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend... Holiday or not!
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  #4082  
November 27th, 2011, 02:48 PM
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I would hope the old remedy will help you out! I also hope getting on track helps you too. I've slacked too much lately myself. When are you starting tcm??
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  #4083  
December 2nd, 2011, 06:13 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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CD 8 of Cycle #34...

Yeah... there's been a bit of drama in my life the past few days. Hence the journal silence and missing temps.

It's entirely too exhausting to go into every detail... suffice it to say that Danny's meds are NOT sorted out. They are NOT helping him deal with stressful situations or emotional highs and lows in a healthy way. I'm not saying they're making things worse, because they're not... but they certainly aren't helping in some key areas.

He said he needed time to get his head on straight, so I wound up spending 2 days with J&R... and they were 2 of the worst days I've had in a really long time. It was just awful, I cried, got angry, felt confused... Luckily J&R have a long history of dealing with chemical imbalance issues, so they've been a HUGE help through this.

They were able to explain to me that it wasn't about me, that he wasn't seeing things rationally. R had an hour and a half conversation with him and he explained how he'd make a point in one breath and then turn around and contradict that exact point in the very next breath...

He came to bring me home on Wednesday night and while it's been a difficult few days, we now have a better idea of what we're looking at. We've identified what the problems are, what we need to do to address them and we've created a support system for him to reach out to when he's feeling things he either can't express to me or needs help figuring out how to express to me before he gets to the point of blowing like a powder keg.

An inadvertent side effect has been an increase in the passion and sexual desire between us. I mean, everyone knows about make up sex... and we all know, the bigger the fight, the better the sex, right? And we had great make up sex... really great... like "Start-in-the-kitchen-end-up-on-the-Sofa" great!

We're still working through the Klonopin "side effects" at times, but speaking for myself... my appetite is through the roof. It's like I can't get enough of him! It's likely a response to us being apart... but I really hope I can hold onto some of this feeling.
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  #4084  
December 2nd, 2011, 06:18 AM
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I'm sorry you are going through some rough times but sounds like you got a better handle on things and yay for the awesome make up sex! Chemical imbalances are no fun and it's hard for the spouse to have to be the one who bears the brunt of it. Big HUGS to you!!
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  #4085  
December 2nd, 2011, 07:59 AM
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Wow, so sorry you're dealing with these challenges right now. But just remember, they are challenges...and those things that challenge us make us stronger. You have a great attitude on how to move forward, and you are the best support system he has, so keep that up, girly! Hang in there, and enjoy your "appetite"
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  #4086  
December 2nd, 2011, 09:14 AM
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So sorry it's been such a rough few days. I've never been on your side of the fence per-se but I've had lots of imbalance issues myself throughout the years. I'm glad that you can be such an amazing support and help him with this where so many people might run away from the problem. That speaks wonders about you and your character! I'm glad that if nothing else it has brought back some passion between you two and I'm sure in the end will strengthen your bond together as well. I hope everything gets worked out as it needs to be
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  #4087  
December 3rd, 2011, 08:48 AM
JennyLee's Avatar TTC #1 after loss
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Sorry to hear about your recent issues, Nikki, but glad that you seem to be moving in the right direction in dealing with them.
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  #4088  
December 5th, 2011, 08:11 PM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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CD 11 of Cycle #34...

Thanks for all the encouraging words girls! One step at a time, yeah?

Things are still going well... things feel "normal" again. We've had some good conversations and we're gonna be fine. I let it be known that while nothing about our relationship has really changed since we've gotten married, one thing that has changed is that he can't just push me away like that. It's not an option. That's my line in the sand and he's been told not to cross it.
When he walked in the door from work on Friday night he was holding a bouquet of flowers.

In other things, I'm gonna try to get back with those dang Lydia Pinkham pills. With everything that was going on, those were the furthest things from my mind. I'm gonna have to make a trip to a $ Tree... gotta wait til pay day, but I'm pretty sure I'm out of OPK's.

I had to run a few errands today... dog food/cat food, coffee, creamer, etc. Spoke to J during her lunch break and then started pulling out my Christmas decorations. I wasn't sure how deeply I wanted to get into it, so I just kinda went with it and gave myself a cut off time so that things would be tidied up by the time Danny got home.

So I assembled, fluffed and skirted the tree. I connected all the plugs, held my breath and plugged it in. Every single year I plug in my lights from the year before and half of them are dead. It doesn't matter how carefully I wrap and store them, so I was fully expecting half of my pre-lit tree to be un-lit. LET THERE BE LIGHT!! And it was so!!

So I decorated the tree in blues and silvers. I hung the ornament I got from my JM Secret Santa right toward the front. I found my pack of small suction cups, so I stuck those on the windows and hung these beautiful silver, blue & white glitter 3-D snowflakes from them. The blinds even clear them, so we can open and close them.

I hung our stockings, put out my little snowmen, tinsel trees and these water globe ornaments my mom gave me. I also hung our "What happens under the Mistletoe Stays under the Mistletoe" sign right above our front door. I haven't gotten into any garland or additional light hanging yet. That's a little involved and I'm not exactly sure how I wanna do it yet, so that was my stopping point.

Maybe tomorrow...
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  #4089  
December 5th, 2011, 08:27 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
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hey girl! Not sure what's going on with you (sorry I'm outta the loop)...but Just wanted to say that challenges in our life can only make us stronger. Whatever they are. There is no other choice than to look at what life throws at us and refuse to give in.

So anyways. Just wanted to say, hang in there!!!
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  #4090  
December 5th, 2011, 08:28 PM
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Ah, I've missed a lot since I've been away! And I'm going to post the Christmas tree/decorating challenge tomorrow. I'd love to see pics of your tree. Now that I'm back, I have to finish the rest of my decorations. And I'm excited to have been in Hawaii when it was the holiday season because I bought a cute little Santa surfer ornament.
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  #4091  
December 6th, 2011, 06:31 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Keri - Yeah... there's a lot that's gone on. I never got into all of the details because it was just too exhausting and I honestly didn't feel like it, but I gave a Readers Digest version a few postings ago.

Welcome back Adrienne!! I'll bet Hawaii was GREAT! I'll have to go peek into your journal to see if you've dished all about your trip yet! Your little Santa Surfer sounds cute!! Looking forward to the Decorations thread and seeing everyone's "stuff"!


CD 12 of Cycle #34...

Not a ton to report this morning... Nothing dramatic happening temp-wise. CP is medium high in height, and I can feel it softening. CM looks opaque, but feels watery. There is also a lot of it.

Danny is out of the office for training until Friday, so the morning was a bit jumbled. He thought the class started later than it actually did, so he was running late and he had to drive, so we have no idea what the traffic situation is gonna be like, especially on the drive home. Either way, I can't imagine him getting home any later than he usually does since the class ends an hour earlier than his usual work day.

Kicking around some more ideas for my Christmas stuff. I haven't a clue yet as to where I'm gonna put my village. I'd like to put it out, but if I can't find a place that makes sense, I'll just keep it packed away for another year. I don't feel compelled to use EVERYTHING I have... That way lies madness!
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  #4092  
December 7th, 2011, 03:32 PM
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Sorry I haven't been around much lately. It's been hard for me to get on the internet with our crappy new service kicking me off all the time. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you and hope things get better.
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  #4093  
December 8th, 2011, 06:03 PM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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CD 14 of Cycle #34...

Found out what set the whole powder keg off last week. We've come upon the period when you move where all of the bills from the old place and all of the bills from the new place collide. He saw things get low and had a freak out.

I knew the root of it would be something financial, because it always is. The problem isn't that he gets stressed, that's normal... The problem is that he doesn't tell me what's going on, so I have no idea until he reaches critical mass.

There's a new shopping plaza being built right on the corner and they're opening a new Anna's Linens on Saturday. I'm gonna go over and pick up an app and apply for something part time. The bit of extra cash will provide something of a buffer that will keep him from feeling freaked while getting me out of the house at the same time. Hopefully it works out and I'm able to get a job there.

Got the rest of the Christmas decorations up that I wanted to do. I have a bunch more stuff, but I didn't wanna get all over the top with it. I did do some icicle lights and garland around the alcove of our dining room. I'll have to take some pics and post them.

Today was Part 1 of day. I'll have to finish the rest tomorrow. I'll admit I wasn't quite as diligent about it as I normally am... That's because in between loads, I was playing Skyrim . Normally, I swap out the loads when the buzzer sounds, fold/hang it... but when you're playing Skyrim... yeah, you don't really hear the buzzer and if you do hear it, you do the whole "I'll get it in a minute..." next thing you know, your husband is home from work .

I did find time to make a G-free Cinnamon Coffee Cake... well, I started out making that and then realized I didn't have any milk, so it became a G-free Egg Nog Cinnamon Coffee Cake. It was okay. I think it would've been better had I not sustained a kitchen casualty. I wanted to mill my flour blend a bit finer so that it wouldn't have that grittiness that G-free baked goods often have.

I had the idea of putting my flour into my food processor. I press the button and... nothing but a hum. I thought it was possible that the flour was too heavy, so I dumped the flour into a bowl and tried to run it empty. Nothing but a hum. I gave it the old Tried & True bang on the counter which caused it to run properly for about 15 seconds.

So, my food processor is dead . The flavors of the coffee cake are FAB, but it still has that little bit of grittiness that gives me the ump. I don't like it and I know it's possible to get rid of it, I just have to work it out. I really think the food processor would've worked too... I'll just have to try the small work bowl for our Ninja blender or the mini chopper for the Cuisinart immersion blender. It'll be in smaller batches, but if it gets the job done...

So, that's about it for me...
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  #4094  
December 8th, 2011, 06:24 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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An eggnog cinnamon coffee cake sounds delicious... grittiness aside.

A little part-time job, especially at a place like Anna's, sounds so mutually beneficial for you and DH. I hope that works out for you. I hate it when things get tense around our house... and yes, it's usually about financial stuff.
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  #4095  
December 9th, 2011, 04:21 AM
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DH has no hand in our finances whatsoever at all. I'm just too anal about $$ and getting the bills paid EARLY every month. He forgets everything so I couldn't trust him with money stuff if I wanted to

A part time job sounds like a great idea--extra cash is always fun! And you should be able to get one really quickly with the holidays here!
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  #4096  
December 9th, 2011, 05:33 AM
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Yeah the holidays are a great time to be searching for a part-time job. I hope it works out! And eggnog cinnamon coffee cake does sound delicious You invented a new festive recipe!
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  #4097  
December 9th, 2011, 05:50 AM
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We just moved in August so I know all about the bills from each place colliding!!! I love any kind of coffee cake! My niece and I tried to make Christmas cookies last night. The gingerbread turned out well... the sugar snowflakes... a little burnt!!! lol
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  #4098  
December 9th, 2011, 06:02 AM
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Crossing my fingers that you get that job! I could never work retail again; the good discounts just make me spend my whole check at my job, lol! Can't wait to see pics of the decorations! So glad you and Danny were able to talk. Have a wonderful weekend with your honey!
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  #4099  
December 9th, 2011, 09:19 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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WOW, that coffee cake sounds wonderful!!! YUM! And I'm looking forward to seeing pics of your decorations! I bet they are just lovely!

You know, though we didn't move recently, we did have a similar financial fiasco earlier this summer. We switched banks. And as diligent as we tried to be about getting all our recurring payments moved over, and moving the right amounts of moolah to each account to keep things in the positive...let's just say it was a disaster. Things not coming out of the proper account when we thought (i.e. the account we put the $$ into), all over the place. We got hit with overdraft fees up the wazoo....and now we're fighting with our old back to not pay the over $2000 in fees we accumulated by no fault of our own. So I totally get the financial woes - even if they weren't from the same source. Hang in there, kiddo!
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  #4100  
December 14th, 2011, 10:39 AM
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fingers crossed you get the job!! It'll be nice to work PT

I have the hardest time reading TTC journals, so unelss I see you post somewhere, I can't find yours
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