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Jackie's TTC Journal


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  #3721  
April 20th, 2011, 07:30 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: South Philly!
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Hey Jackie... Just poking my head in here after a looong while myself.

Glad that you're on your way with the weight loss! That's fantastic!!

Hope you guys have a blast at your gamer gathering in June!
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  #3722  
April 29th, 2011, 09:27 AM
Etph007's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Just wanted to say Hiiii!!!
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  #3723  
July 18th, 2011, 09:55 AM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: The Land of Infertility
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An update on my progress...

I figured what better way to have an accurate TTC journal than to update with what's going on while I'm out of the TTC loop. I've been on BCP now for almost 5 months (time flies, right?) and they haven't been the best to me. I'm on Loseasonique, which is a 3-month pill pack. It works great for the first 40 days, and then the spotting starts. When I went in for my yearly near the end of my first 3-month pack, my doctor talked me into trying it for another pack. Well, I'm again on 2 full weeks of spotting and it's annoying me a lot. I am trying to move on with my life and enjoy every day with TTC out of the equation. Then every time I go to use the restroom, I am reminded over and over and over about what is going on and it's not good for me. Couple that with the non-existent sex due to the spotting, it's a mess. Even though I still have 5 weeks left in this pill pack, my doctor is making the switch to Seasonique- just a higher dosage of what I'm on now. I had the option of either just starting it without a pill period or restarting a cycle. As scared out of my mind as I am for this weekend to come and AF to hurt me, I am resetting my cycle so that I can be sure that we've done all we could with this "new" pill. Quite honestly, I don't have high hopes, but it's worth a shot. I'm happy to not be in pain but 4 times a year, but the disruption of daily life all the other days is just plain silly.

As for TTC, we are taking this year and all of next year off from TTC. I will be getting my medical records sent to me from my current RE's office in anticipation of making a switch as well as if I need them for any of this endo stuff. I plan to start researching other RE offices this time next year, or a little later in the year. I definitely think I'll be moving though, because I don't feel I got the tailored service that is necessary with my condition. I am also, deep down, hoping that a new doctor will have a new perspective, and perhaps want to try another lap, only a little more rigorous. Maybe throw out IUI as an option to us after all this time if they are able to remove some of that?! Who knows. It's all hope in the end. We'll leave our snowbabies put for now, and then go through the hoop-jumping when it's time to get them moved to a different facility. With the entire year off next year, we are planning a 'real' vacation. There's of course the gaming weekend we always take, but we have two options for next year. We're either going to Las Vegas, and doing the whole Grand Canyon sight seeing adventures since we've never been there, or we'll be taking a trip with my parents to my Grandma's house in Florida (near Tampa). I am really hoping we'll opt for option number 2 because my parents have been begging us to go with them AND it'll be cheaper AND I will finally get to see the BEACH!!! It's possible we'd even take a trip to Orlando- I haven't seen Disney World since I was pre-driving age. We shall see. Maybe it wouldn't be cheaper with all that, lol.

Anyway, I just wanted to check in and let you know what's going on in my world. Physically, I'm holding up fine, but will get another test with AF this coming weekend. Mentally, I'm kinda down because I have this on my mind way too much with the spotting, cramping, etc. I've been focusing on losing weight, but have gotten to a little standstill in that right now. I have lost 9 pounds since our FET, but the last few weeks have been lacking in the motivation department due to my mental state- blah!! I'm holding steady in numbers, but I really need to get some motivation and start kicking my butt physically again. I hope to get back on the wagon after AF exits next week.

I miss you girls, and I wish I had a better update! Maybe one day I will.
__________________

Thank you brie_91 for this fabulous siggy!!
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 33 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.

IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
March 2011- February 2012: On BCP due to endometriosis.

March 2012- taking a few months off of BCP and we are TTC naturally.
We will re-evaluate another IVF w/FET try in 2013.



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  #3724  
July 18th, 2011, 12:55 PM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Philly!
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So glad to see an update!!

I can't believe it's been 5 months already! Geez, time really does fly doesn't it! Probably even quicker when you're not counting it down in 2 week increments!!

I hope you're successful in finding an RE who will be a better fit for you. After all this time, I'm of a similar mind as you. It seems really difficult to find a Dr. who will treat "you" not just treat "infertility" because it comes in so many shapes and sizes.

I mean, how many times have we watched someone try something and on the first go, it works... But someone else can do the same thing 100 times and nothing. Each person's issues are unique and they need to be treated as such.

As for your vacays... I think either one would be tons of fun! But if you can stay with family on one trip, that would free up cash for doing other stuff while you're there!
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  #3725  
July 20th, 2011, 01:53 PM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks, Nikki. I, too, think I'm making the right decision. I can only imagine it's going to be a big pain getting retested and all, but at the same time, so much time would have lapsed, things could have changed, ya know? It won't be until this time next year anyway.

Time is definitely flying. I took my last pill on Sunday and as of last night AF was here and the cramping started. I slept like a log, though, and when I woke up the cramping was gone and so was AF. So weird. I didn't expect to see her until Friday or Saturday anyway, but the fact that she showed so quickly and heavy (for a few hours lol), it's just a strange situation. Right now I'm sitting here with a ridiculous headache. I'm sure the real AF will be here in a few days, hopefully waiting until Friday afternoon, but we'll see.

I had a bad dream last night- I was freaking out about not being a mom and not ever experiencing pregnancy, etc. I can't remember who I was talking to in my dream though. All I know is when I woke up, I was on the verge of tears. I'm sure that didn't help this mood today. I hate those kind of dreams.
__________________

Thank you brie_91 for this fabulous siggy!!
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 33 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.

IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
March 2011- February 2012: On BCP due to endometriosis.

March 2012- taking a few months off of BCP and we are TTC naturally.
We will re-evaluate another IVF w/FET try in 2013.



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  #3726  
July 20th, 2011, 05:26 PM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
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I'm glad to see you update Jackie. I've been wondering how you've been. I think switching RE's is probably a good choice to make. Another lap probably wouldn't hurt either. My mom had a total of 3 before she conceived finally so maybe it'll help your chances? And vacation sounds awesome. Vegas is amazing and I'm very partial to it lol. I just love it and look for any excuse to go, but I also like to gamble and drink so it's right up my alley
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  #3727  
July 21st, 2011, 09:02 AM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks, Danee! I think another lap will be in order too. Today is the first day of my 2nd AF since starting these BCP. I am hoping the pain is less than last time (it was SO bad the first time off). We'll see. I am really hoping that in a year from now AF won't be so awful and I might get to be off the pill for a little while before having another lap. I doubt it, but it's a thought in my mind. I do think by then, since it'll be 3 years since my first lap, it'll be time for them to go in again. I'm actually a little excited about that because I really hope they can clean out more or something. *Grasping at straws here*
__________________

Thank you brie_91 for this fabulous siggy!!
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 33 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.

IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
March 2011- February 2012: On BCP due to endometriosis.

March 2012- taking a few months off of BCP and we are TTC naturally.
We will re-evaluate another IVF w/FET try in 2013.



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  #3728  
July 21st, 2011, 10:39 AM
MarinaAndCharlie'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so to see an update. I think of you often. I can't believe it's been 5 months. You are such an amazingly strong woman. I had spotting problems with those pills at first but after a few months it stopped. I think a new RE group is a great idea. Please KUP.
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  #3729  
July 24th, 2011, 09:12 AM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The Land of Infertility
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Thanks, Casey. I don't feel very strong lately.

I'm on day 4 and starting my "new" pill tonight. I hope it works a little better than the first. All I know is that I won't have AF no matter what for the next 3 months so praise the Lord! I had to take 2 percocets to get me through 2 of the nights, but otherwise, ibuprofen has been keeping the inflammation down. I hope the next AF will be even better.

Well, I will probably slip out of JM existence again for a bit. I need to get my mind back to where it was a few months ago. With all the thoughts of changing RE's and another surgery, etc., I've gone back into a TTC mindset and it's not doing me any good. I'm moving backwards in my progress to move on. Deep down, I don't think any of our IVFs will work and I would rather "accept" that now and have an easier time down the road than to keep kidding myself.
__________________

Thank you brie_91 for this fabulous siggy!!
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 33 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.

IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
March 2011- February 2012: On BCP due to endometriosis.

March 2012- taking a few months off of BCP and we are TTC naturally.
We will re-evaluate another IVF w/FET try in 2013.



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  #3730  
July 30th, 2011, 09:53 AM
Etph007's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
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((HUGS)) Praying for you always, Jackie
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  #3731  
January 26th, 2012, 04:00 AM
adnelg775's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Just wanted to let you know that I think of you often...I hope you are pain-free and enjoying life!
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  #3732  
March 14th, 2012, 10:02 AM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The Land of Infertility
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Well, after all this time, I am just popping in to say hello.

Not too much to update, but nonetheless, I felt the need to put an entry into this ever-growing journal of mine.

Believe it or not, I was off of TTC for a year... an entire year on BCP. Things went fine for the most part, minus the problems with all the spotting, but eventually it stopped and I went 3 months without any spotting or side effects. Then the last pack really did a number on me with spotting and endo pain- during the cycle, which didn't make much sense. I took it as my body's way of telling me "give me a break from this stuff!" so that's what I'm doing. The plan is to stay off the pill until around the time of our vacation this summer, more about that in a minute. So whenever a new cycle starts around the beginning of June, I will go back on Seasonique as to not worry about pain during our trips this summer. We will be trying naturally- using nothing but OPKs. I ended up temping for a few days this cycle because my body was throwing me CM curveballs, but today confirmed a temp rise, so we should be good to go. The little eggie waited until CD 19, and a not so perfectly timed BD (because I thought it was happening 2 days earlier!!), but at least I think my body did it. Pretty impressive after being on fake hormones for 12 months.

So we have decided on going to Florida with my parents this summer... middle of June, and I couldn't be more excited! We already have our plane tickets purchased, and now I'm just counting down the time until it takes off! Then we'll have our annual trip to stay with the gaming folks in July, so there will be an excellent part of the summer filled with happiness! I'm still debating talking with the surgeon after our trips to see if I should go forward with another lap. I am going to gauge my pain levels while I am off of the pill. I will say, it was getting 'better' while on the pill, but definitely not great. Plus I was having some real pain issues at other points in my cycle and some other things, so I think the endo did get worse for sure after the FET. The problem I foresee is my doctor telling me that he really can't remove much that is affecting fertility, which is probably the truth. You figure, when doing an FET, the only place they need to be concerned with is my uterus, so... yeah. If we were to do another fresh cycle (but we won't!), I would definitely have another lap to free up my ovaries again. I actually had made an appointment last month, but canceled it because I just didn't/don't want to think about that yet. I'm not ready.

In other news- not much to report. I'm still plugging along with my weight loss. I'm proud to say that I've lost 18 pounds since our FET last year, and I have a goal in mind which would require me to lose another 8 pounds or so. I took a break from November-January during our peak season at work because it was too long of days and too much stress to think about it all. These last pounds are the hardest I think. I'm going to restart the 30 day shred soon- I am wrapping up the 6 week 6 pack, which helped with some cardio, but now I need to tone what I've got. I did the "No more trouble zones" Jillian Michaels thing last night and I know tomorrow I'll have a hard time sitting/standing, lol. It's a 50 minute crazy workout and I LOVED it.

Oh well, that's the synopsis of my life! I'm not going to temp after tomorrow, so no need to chart stalk anywhere, haha. No stress this time around, but I missed the TTC talk here.
__________________

Thank you brie_91 for this fabulous siggy!!
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 33 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.

IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
March 2011- February 2012: On BCP due to endometriosis.

March 2012- taking a few months off of BCP and we are TTC naturally.
We will re-evaluate another IVF w/FET try in 2013.



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  #3733  
March 14th, 2012, 11:01 AM
Hopingfor1soon's Avatar Expecting a Miracle!
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Jackie I have missed you sooo much! I am glad to hear that things are going well for you and you have some amazingly fun sounding trips planned for this summer. I am totally jealous! Come visit on the TTC IVF thread sometime...we are in the midst of our second fresh IVF cycle... ET tomorrow or Saturday... I cannot believe we are doing this crazy journey again... I think we are 100% crazy! haha
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  #3734  
March 14th, 2012, 11:22 AM
denalibear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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JACKIE!!!! oh girlie...Ive missed ya! I was wondering how y'all were doing the other day. Your trips sound fabulous!!! Are y'all going to Disney World, Universal or just chillin on the beach? Any of those sounds amazing.

Yahoo for the weight loss that is freakin' awesome!!! I agree the last few pounds are the hardest to get rid of....Ive been trying to get the last 10 lbs off for ever

Okay I have to say when I read that you stopped taking bcp and y'all may have BD at a good time....a huge smile went across my face
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  #3735  
March 15th, 2012, 06:37 AM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: The Land of Infertility
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopingfor1soon View Post
Jackie I have missed you sooo much! I am glad to hear that things are going well for you and you have some amazingly fun sounding trips planned for this summer. I am totally jealous! Come visit on the TTC IVF thread sometime...we are in the midst of our second fresh IVF cycle... ET tomorrow or Saturday... I cannot believe we are doing this crazy journey again... I think we are 100% crazy! haha
I'll be following your journey for sure!! I didn't want to pry, and I know you've been through a LOT since your successful IVF, but do you still have snowbabies left? I was just curious! So excited for you, Alicia!

Quote:
Originally Posted by denalibear View Post
JACKIE!!!! oh girlie...Ive missed ya! I was wondering how y'all were doing the other day. Your trips sound fabulous!!! Are y'all going to Disney World, Universal or just chillin on the beach? Any of those sounds amazing.

Yahoo for the weight loss that is freakin' awesome!!! I agree the last few pounds are the hardest to get rid of....Ive been trying to get the last 10 lbs off for ever

Okay I have to say when I read that you stopped taking bcp and y'all may have BD at a good time....a huge smile went across my face
Thanks, Stef! I have missed you too! We're not going to Disney World this time... just the beach. We're actually going with my parents because my Gram has a winter house down there we'll be staying in. It's very close to Clearwater Beach so we'll be good. I haven't seen the beach since our honeymoon 7.5 years ago!

I will try to pop on here a little more, but no room for obsession here!! Must stay relaxed. I temped again today and my temp was still nice and high and CM changed, so I am positive I'm in the 2ww now. My left ovary has been hurting really badly, so I can't help but think that endo is on it or something and got annoyed when my eggie popped. Who knows.
__________________

Thank you brie_91 for this fabulous siggy!!
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 33 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.

IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
March 2011- February 2012: On BCP due to endometriosis.

March 2012- taking a few months off of BCP and we are TTC naturally.
We will re-evaluate another IVF w/FET try in 2013.



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  #3736  
March 15th, 2012, 08:52 AM
Hopingfor1soon's Avatar Expecting a Miracle!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*Jackie*~ View Post
I'll be following your journey for sure!! I didn't want to pry, and I know you've been through a LOT since your successful IVF, but do you still have snowbabies left? I was just curious! So excited for you, Alicia!
We dont have any left. When we did our FET with Mason only 4 of our 7 survived thaw and we transfered all 4! So we did a fresh cycle again...last one for us. We will do FETs if we have the option or need to, but no more fresh cycles. I go in on Saturday for a 5 day transfer.
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  #3737  
March 16th, 2012, 06:09 AM
~*Jackie*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ooooh, ok, Alicia. I'm sorry to hear that. Well I am hoping that this is your cycle and you get plenty of snowbabies for future attempts!!

Cycle 32; Cycle Day 22; 3 dpo

I can finally put the thermometer away *cheer*. I am definitely 3dpo and in my first 2ww in a year. I'm still disappointed in the waiting my body did to release the eggie (all the while giving me hints it was going to happen earlier) because our timing wasn't perfect. I'm just not going to think about it all until AF is due.

I had a BFP dream last night.... one of the only I have ever had. Apparently I had a light BFP on an IC 2 days earlier, and when I told my friend that I had no FRERs, she whipped out a digi and made me use it. It came right up as "pregnant"... I remember going to DH with it, and I was crying and talking really quietly because I've never felt so humbled in all my life... and he just touched my face and said "I don't mind you crying because I know you aren't sad". I woke up shortly after that, but omg, I was in the deepest serenity in that dream. Kinda breaks your heart a bit when you wake up. I pray I get to feel that happiness one day.

Well, happy Friday. I am getting my hair done tonight and I can't wait. I haven't gone since November, so I'm due for a cut/color. Then tomorrow I am getting fitted for contacts. I've never had them and have made the decision I want to try them (although I'm scared out of my mind to poke my eye and try to get the darn thing OUT). We'll see how it goes. Add to all of that a trip to Red Lobster tomorrow to celebrate my Daddy's birthday!!! Should be a good day.
__________________

Thank you brie_91 for this fabulous siggy!!
Our TTC journey: 6 cycles Clomid, lap surgery/ D&C, IUI, 2 x IVF; 33 cycles- BFN.
IVF#1 (March 2010) Transferred two 8-cell grade A (perfect) embies- BFN and heartbroken.

IVF#2/FET#1 (Jan/Feb 2011):Transferred two (7&8 cell) grade A (PERFECT) embies- BFN again.
March 2011- February 2012: On BCP due to endometriosis.

March 2012- taking a few months off of BCP and we are TTC naturally.
We will re-evaluate another IVF w/FET try in 2013.



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  #3738  
March 16th, 2012, 06:51 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Philly!
Posts: 11,173
So glad to see you updating your journal again Jackie!

YAY for O'ing! Seriously! I know you wish it had happened earlier... but for it happening on it's own, ya know?

Danny got contacts years ago and had never had them before. There's definitely a bit of a learning curve to it... but you'll get it. He was so bad that I had to put them in for him for the first month or so. The main thing is that your brain is wired to think "if I touch my eye, it's going to sting" so your eye wants to close. But then you find that when you put the contact in, it doesn't sting and you can touch your eye without really feeling it... if that makes any sense? It gets much easier then...

Sounds like you've got some great stuff lined up! You should post a pic of your new do!!
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  #3739  
March 16th, 2012, 06:52 AM
adnelg775's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I hope that your dream comes true, Jackie!!
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  #3740  
March 16th, 2012, 10:19 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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Yay for the 2ww! (really?? did I just say that!!), but yay for YOUR 2WW!

If you're anything like me, I bet you can't wait to get your hair done! I also had mine done last in November, for a wedding, and am in desperate need of color and cut. I am holding out though, as I would rather put my $$$ towards IVF. I just wear hats a lot!

I remember when I first got contacts...I think I was in 8th grade or freshman year of HS. I've worn glasses since I was 18 months old, so I remember being so scared of being called names and such in HS. Plus, with me competing in so many sports, the glasses just didn't work. It was hard at first, but I got used to it pretty quickly. You will find that you can see SO much better with contacts. It's not that your visual acuity is any better, it's just a different feeling. Once you have them in and get used to them, you will know what I mean. I went back to wearing glasses a long time ago...after sitting in front of a computer for years, it was too hard on my eyes. Matter of fact, ever since I started wearing glasses full time again (probably about 12 years now), my eyes slowly started to get better!

Anyway, sounds like you have a great weekend planned! And now I want Red Lobster! Yum!
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05.24.2011



Our TTC Journey | View my pregnancy journals here or here
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