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  #21  
September 3rd, 2009, 10:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,291
Well Dh has been working on cars since he got home this afternoon. He's not as sore as I thought he would be. He's been getting around pretty good today, yesterday he was a bit stiff and hurt more. But I'm just happy that the car is fixable, and that he is OK!! It is just such a blessing. We are kind of up in the air on what we want to do about TTC. I want to continue but I want a chance to lose 80-120lbs before we really get started. I currently weigh around 260, but would like to be in the 180-140 so range. I'm going to judge by how I look, because I have a " big frame", and don't want to look like I starve myself. I started a diet and at least 3 workouts at Curves a week and I had lost like 5lbs between Friday and Wednesday. Today has been an off day on the diet, but I spilled my salad on teh floor at school, and well said its been a stressful week I'm goin to enjoy myself. But I"m sitting here typing and I should be sleeping or packing. So I'm going to head to bed, becaues I did not sleep well Monday, had a bad feeling I couldn't shake, Tuesday, didn't sleep well because I had been so scared and was worried about numerous things, Wednesday, slept great but didn't get to sleep long enough. So I'm hoping for more sleep like I got last night but I have to get up very early in the morning tomorrow now. I'm ready for my trip and DH would go with me but needs to spend his time working on his car. My parents have provided a car for him to drive, while his is down.
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  #22  
September 3rd, 2009, 11:32 PM
<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<>'s Avatar N.T.N.P.( I need a break)
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you and I are about the same weight!!! how tall are you??? my hubby would like me to weigh about 180 at the most!!! im 5ft 4. so i understand what you are going through.....(i am also a large frame)
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  #23  
September 7th, 2009, 08:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,291
I'm finally back home...and after Tuesday afternoon I thought things had changed...I was wrong. He's already back to the way he was before the wreck. I'm so ready to start crying because I'm tired and worn out 1300 miles in 4 days...Not something I'm doing again. I asked only that the towels be washed and the kitchen be clean...I didn't even get that. Now that he's overdone working on his car, his neck hurts. What about me....he's sitting back here playing video games...not even spending time with me. Also I asked him if he wanted me to stay home...his response was do what you want to do. By the time I got to my grandma's house I was ready to be home.....then today since I got home he's said he wanted me to stay home in the first place. So here I am feeling guilty that I didn't stay home and I already felt that way in the first place. So I give up...I don't think I can make him happy.
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  #24  
September 8th, 2009, 06:12 AM
CandaceDianne's Avatar Lilyan's Mommy
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Location: Georgia
Posts: 8,549
I hear ya on the losing weight while TTC, try Weight Watchers. I have had much success with that program,because its really not a diet. Its changing bad habits.
I am sorry DH is being a pain, sometimes men can be like that!
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  #25  
September 8th, 2009, 07:48 AM
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Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,291
I'm 5'8". He's just cranky...I don't know why. Thinks there is something wrong with his neck....what is wrong with his neck is he has overdone it, while trying to recover from a major wreck. But he wouldn't listen to me or my dad or his for that matter about anything. He also spent the last 2 days parked in front of a computer playing video games...that sets his neck to hurting everytime and he knows it. THis morning I'm wishing I could stay home from school because I'm so freaking tired that its not funny. I took 2 simply sleep last night and crawled in the bed at 10:30 and woke up every 2 hours to turn over etc. I know that with simply sleep in my system I shouldn't have been waking up at all. I slept better between 5:30 and 8 this morning. We both woke up at 5:30 him with his neck hurting me..>I just couldn't sleep. So today is going to be a very long day....maybe I'll get some good news and get to come home shortly after my first class. I'm supposed to find out about my finicial aid this morning as well as the 2 classes I might not have to take!!! OH well see you ladies later...need to pack up the laptop for some entertainment if I do have to take 1 of the classes. And I just missed trash day...I'm so out of it!!!
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  #26  
September 12th, 2009, 11:06 AM
chrissy323's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Philadelphia, PA
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Hey Amy! Hope you are having a great weekend!
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  #27  
September 12th, 2009, 04:37 PM
<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<>'s Avatar N.T.N.P.( I need a break)
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how are you doing? did you decide to start your weight loss journey?
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  #28  
September 12th, 2009, 07:22 PM
denalibear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: 100% Native Texan!!
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Oh hun...Im sorry y'all are having such a rough time. I hope you can get some rest this weekend.
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  #29  
September 19th, 2009, 02:26 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,291
Well ladies I swear if it can go wrong this month it has...at least so far. Thursday the alternator and battery went out on the car my DH is driving. Of cource they died before he got to school....but the car ran until he pulled on the driveway at school. I finally got several hours of sleep last night and planning on getting some good sleep tonight. School is keeping me so busy I just haven't gotten to slow down and breathe. And then when I do wind up with a few spare mins something happens that eats those up. I've been exceptionally irrirable the last few day...and I'm hoping that its a sign. DH and I haven't decided to actively TTC again, but we are NTNP and prolly more a causal TTC. I know I"m not going to chart etc until I get closer to being out of school. I did recieve the good news that I will be graduating in May 2011 and so will DH. Then I know we'll be actively TTC once we both have jobs, which more than likely will be lined up by the time we grauate(at least hopefully on my part). Also DH has decided that he wouldn't mind moving away from here if one or both of us can find a job that pays more than we would make around here. We can live in the city and save money to find a place to build a house. Who knows what we'll do. I'm hoping to try and talk my mom into helping us have a vacation that summer, so we can travel and have a bit of a honeymoon(some good TTC time lol).

As for my cycle this time everything seems to be lining up like it did befoer I was on BCP. I'm fairly sure that I'm about 7-8 DPO, but I'm not testing until af about a week late. I just can't handle seeing the BFN's anymore. But I've been having some symptoms...I"m just trying not to obsess over them. I've been realyl cranky the last 2 day, had a backache since about 2 DPO, and had several killer headaches. I've also been really aroused. I've had heartburn the last 2 nights, and I'm more tired than I usually am(could also be stress), and having troubles sleeping(but I have troubles sleeping at the best times.). So I don't know, we'll just wait and see. Doesn't help I keep dreaming I'm stiting in my bathroom holding a postive pregnancy test. I've see FRER's $tree, blue-dye, digi's. I've also been a lot more thirsty and a little bit more hungry, I've also been peeing more.

I've been working on my weight loss, but the going is slower than I would like for it to be. I've been so messed up the last 2 week being busy its been hard to follow the diet plan. But I'm getting back on it better now. Oh well I'm headed off to bed before I crash in my compter chair, see you ladies soon!!!
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  #30  
September 19th, 2009, 09:17 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: South Philly!
Posts: 11,173
Ugh! I know the feeling of "When it rains, it pours" That's how my September started... so I can totally relate and empathize with you.

I hope things start to settle down for you and DH soon.

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  #31  
September 19th, 2009, 11:31 PM
<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<>'s Avatar N.T.N.P.( I need a break)
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nice to see you update...and looks like you have a lot going on in your life...i hope a is coming soon for ya
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  #32  
September 22nd, 2009, 10:18 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,291
Well I've been talking with Dh and he's been we can't have a baby right now. Now at this point he's starting to think as I am and truly say whatever happens, is meant to be. We had decided to use pull out but he kept forgetting, so we decided to use condoms. Well we would honestly forget when we would be at the store together. Well I remembered tonight because I don't want Dh thinking bad things. BC was so rough for me because basically I felt every cycle like I'm feeling right now. Especially at this point in my cycle. I would talk to him at those times and he would flatly refuse. I went through a time when I was afraid he would deny the baby, leave me, or both. And I was being kind of afraid of that happening again. But then I told myself he knows I'm not taking my BC, so it's not as if I'm lying to him about anything. I was taking them then....I was just forgetful.....I missed 5 days of pills one time without spotting or cramping. I was thinking I wouldn't find myself in the TWW this month because of traveling. But then I had week long spotting, then full af starting on 9/1. She left on 9/7. It does match the pattern I had before BC, although I had that month of bleeding. I had 2 seperate days of lots of EWCM 9/13 and that followed days of some very stretchy cm. Well I continued to have very strechy cm through the week. 9/13 I had lots of EWCM again. I'm pretty sure I o'd on 9/13. I had some good pinch type cramps on my right side for about 10 mins that afternoon. After getting home from the Bday party. I didn't think much of it then, but then. This Sunday afternoon I had some cramps while running step-brother-in-law and family home. These cramps lasted about 45 mins and I was thinking OH NO NOT AGAIN!! But then they stopped and I was paranoid about af coming all day yesterday. When I have those type cramps af or spotting shows up in the next 24 hours. NOTHING YET!!! I'm happy and scared and really wanting to POAS. So DH and I went to Wal-Mart to get some stuff and so I could get a gas card...and I finally remembered to take him to the asile with the condoms and he wouldn't get anyway. Said later it was because there were to many people around. But I just came from talking with him and said what if we have an oopsie...and he was like shhh...and looked to see if BIL was around. But I've been having dreams of BFP's......dreamed about being in labor and holding my child in my arms. But never really repeatedly having BFP dreams. I've been having them since DH flipped his car and the day this cycle started. So here's hoping that maybe it means something. THough right now is not the ideal time to be pregnant for us, it maybe our time. We will get by no matter what and we finish our degrees. There is lots of help available to us and we will do what we have to do to provide for our child. The only reason I'm even starting to think about it is this week I"ve been exhausted but had troubles sleeping, when I do sleep I wake up feeling like I just fell asleep, I have lots of creamy white cm it is starting to soak my panties during the day. Yesterday DH and I was goofing around something that normally doesn't send me to tears at all made me bawl, today I've found myself making extra stops in the bathroom that I normally would. My boobs are bigger and feel extremely heavy and seem to have gotten bigger because my bra has gotten tighter as well as the straps are digging into my shoulder...it fit fine last week, was actually very comfortable. I'd gained 2 pounds in a week, though that could've been my eating habits or bloating for af. I expect af on 9/30. I would make up my mind to buy a test this afternoon(even if it was just a $tree test, then I would talk myself out of it and say I'm waiting until af doesn't show up...so basically like 10/5. But now I'm really wishing I bought a test today so I could take it in the morning...yes I know still to early but at least then I could think about something else. UGHH.....stupid obessing and stupid symptoms...LOL

I'm still getting backaches and headaches(at least for a little while) nearly everyday. My abdomen feels tight/heavy where I cramp the most intense during af.

I'm finally getting caught up on housework and homework since being gone on my trip. Yesterday Dh did the dishes and helped me get all the laundry put away. I've just been out of it since I got back...I felt really good the last couple days so I've been getting lots of stuff done. My OCD for organization has kicked back in. I've also said I've got so much cleaning I need to be doing, but just not enough time to do it in. So here's hoping I can get myself a schedule lined out for school. Its getting better since I'm only taking yes and no for are we gonna do this at this time etc. Also I've been taking time to plan what I'm going to do and how I'm going to do it. So I'm starting to feel better about the semester as a whole.

Last edited by MommyBeth; September 22nd, 2009 at 10:29 PM. Reason: more info
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  #33  
September 22nd, 2009, 10:39 PM
<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<>'s Avatar N.T.N.P.( I need a break)
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nice to see you update your journal...whatever you want to happen down deep in your heart...is what I hope happens for you.... when will you graduate from school?
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  #34  
September 23rd, 2009, 04:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,291
So testing until af didn't show didn't last. The urge to POAS got me this afternoon and I went to $tree and bought a test. Came home and took it....got a faint positive so I was like ok I'll test again in the morning. Well making it to morning didn't last and I tested just now with Answer and got a definte positive. I knew when I watched the $tree test develop that it was a positive though. So now that I've got my BFP I don't quite know what to think. I'm happy and scared....and definetly I dunno...I know that me or DH or both are prolly going to have to get a job now. But I TOLD him we are both finishing school. It's going to be hard and its going to be a challenge but I know we'll make it. This is God's plan and I don't know what's coming but I trust him to take care of me. And I guess that's all I have to do.
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  #35  
September 25th, 2009, 08:43 PM
<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<>'s Avatar N.T.N.P.( I need a break)
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I am so happy for you your story gives me so much hope...since i remember in earlier post that i found out that we are about the same weight & height...that being over weight doesnt have to be an obstacle and that a is still possible. neway i hope and pray this is a sticky bean...and things go well for your new family to be.
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  #36  
October 15th, 2009, 12:43 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,291
Well I didn't have a sticky bean this time. Here's hoping my next bean sticks and stays. I'm back to TTC #1 again, well as soon as af shows.
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  #37  
October 15th, 2009, 05:19 PM
<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<>'s Avatar N.T.N.P.( I need a break)
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I am so so so sorry about your news...................here is some af praying your very next bean is a sticky one.
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  #38  
October 15th, 2009, 08:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,291
Af still has not made her arrival, but I got the migraine that signals she's on her way this afternoon. Also I posted on the BFP list today to get an angel put beside my bfp. I made the mistake of going to look at it too. Now I can't find it in me to not just break down and bawl. But if I do that I'll just crying until I cough myself sick, or upset DH because he can't stand to see me hurting like this. It doesn't help that all this week I've been having crazy dreams and not sleeping well, so it just amplifies my emotions being on the verge of exhausted. I just want to scream, because all this is happening. In some ways, I'm ready to just give up and quit trying anything. I had to force myself to eat tonight, I just need next week to be over. I have 2 major projects due in one class Monday. A mid-term Tuesday, one Thursday, actually probably 2 Thursday. I know that there's nothing I could've done to save the pregnancy, but right now its hard to be accepting of God's plan. I'm fighting that human urge of I want what I want and I want it now. So I think I'm gonna go take a couple simply sleep, and crawl in the bed and cry for a while, or maybe just pass out. Either way I probably won't be on JM much for a couple of days again. Its hard to get on here and see all of it, and know that I was pregnant, and that I'm not now. Also to know that I can't TTC again until af shows up. I just want her to show up so we can get back to trying. I know some will criticize me, since we are both full-time students and unemployed, but we will do what we have to do to get by and make a life for ourselves and baby. We actually talked about this, and decided we would take out as much student loan money as we could, and live on that and then pay it back. Since we would have only been in school for 1 year after baby got here. Now depending on how fast I get pregnant again depends somewhat on what we do. Also we are hoping to be able to get workstudy next year.
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  #39  
October 15th, 2009, 10:37 PM
<>*NaYoMi_BaBy_Dreamer*<>'s Avatar N.T.N.P.( I need a break)
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i miscarried 11 months ago...my baby twins....and broke down about that yesterday and now all i can think about is ttc.......so I know a little about what you are going through.......you are strong for coming back here....matter factly i have a j.m. lady saying that i should think about taking a break from everything ttc related cause usually people get preggo that way...but i just love being on j.m. so much....
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  #40  
October 17th, 2009, 04:49 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,291
Well today DH and I are splitting a fifth of Seagram's Gin. I haven't drank much since May since I had all those messed up months of cycles, then being pregnant. AF still hasn't showed but I can tell she's coming....I was hoping she would be here so that the worst days would fall over the weekend. Not next week when I'm trying to do Mid-term exams. But what will be, will be and there's not anything I can do about it. Dh is more than a little ready to get started "trying" again. LOL...I haven't been in the mood much the past couple of weeks, being sick and all. But that's one way I know af is fixing to show. I'm just hoping that I don't have another one of those terribly long cycles again. I had thought about waiting to TTC again so that I could lose some weight, as well as a few other things. But thought about it and delivering during June, July, or August would be best for me since I'm a student. So at this point I'm just hoping to get af here and gone, and then to get pregnant again as fast as I got pregnant this time. It was our first chance to really try, then to think I was gone aroudn the time I was O'ing. Stranger things have happened..oh well I'm going back to my relaxing afternoon with my wonderful DH(even though there are times I want to just well....). See all you wonderful people tomorrow!!!
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