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  #41  
October 19th, 2009, 05:41 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,279
Well I finally get a break today.....but guess what I have a mid-term in the morning. I had almost forgotten about it so I haven't even started studying yet....I just got home about 45 minutes ago, because I've been getting observations in. My break is that my class tonight was cancelled or I would be getting home about 8 or 8:30. Well I must get started studying or I won't be finished at bedtime, and after last night's restless night, sleep sounds so good. Still no af, but the signs are getting stronger. Again I say I'm just ready for her to be here and gone, so that the next time someone asks me how I feel, I don't have to respond with the expected good. I mean come on honestly how would you be doing, though granted some don't know what happened yet, and I'm hoping to be able to keep it that way, until things seem to be going on forever. And honestly most of the time I'm ok with everything, but to have someone ask who knows, and see the look in their eyes, upsets me, because they almost look like they feel sorry for me. Don't feel sorry for me, that's not what I want. I don't know God's plan, but I can assure that his is better than mine. Also he knows how much I can handle, and he won't give me more than I can bear. So yes I'm a little upset and disappointed but it was meant to be. I'm sure once af shows up and its really "over" I'll break down and have a small pity party, but DH will be supportive because he'll be right there with me. We were both very excited and happy.

My mom is back to being her usual hateful self. I told her Sunday while we were shopping that she was being hateful, and she was all thanks....and I said your welcome. So if nothing else it started her thinking. She has even been all well you better have something in place for next month so this doesn't happen again. I almost started in on her then. But I had already decided she wouldn't be alone with my child, and if she is hateful to me during pregnancy, and is ugly when I tell her I'm pregnant again, she just won't see me or her grandchild at all. Its the one thing she is not going to call me out on. Because she is learning as I talk to her about how I felt during my childhood and how miserable I was, that I will go through with it, if I ever say those words. She already knows she will not be alone with my child. But what really gets me is she acts like the "perfect" mom in front of her teacher friends, and when I would be ugly to her there, they would take up for her. Well they have finally seen what she does to me, and realized taht I'm only reacting to how horribly I'm being treated.

Af needs to quit teasing me, Though I do have to say that the migraine I'm getting and the cramps I'm having are mighty promising. I was kind of hoping she'd take a little longer to get here in some ways, it was nice to be at the first of the month. It seems I'm truly going back to my schedule before BC now. I usually started about this time. It never failed I have af aroung my bday, which is now also around my anniversary. Well wouldn't that be a great present though, to get a BFP on one or both of those days!! I've made up my mind I'm not testing until af doesn't show up anymore. I'm still debating on OPK's. I always had really regular cycles.

We've talked about when will tell family the next time. And we decided we wouldn't tell anyone until I was out of the first trimester. I think DH's mom knows we are TTC now, and my best friend from high school knows. She had a really hard time getting pregnant, so she understands when I have mini-meltdowns. But seeing as I had to stop and eat supper before I finished this and I've know been home for nearly 2 hours, I really think that I should get to studying before it's bed time and I've still not started!!
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  #42  
October 23rd, 2009, 08:47 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,279
Well I think I've finally figured out what's going on and what happened. I started thinking that I was getting ready to O scared of getting pregnant again without having had my period...I got to thinking I'll bet that I should've tested a month before I did.....and I'll bet that when I had what I thought was my period starting 9/1 I bet I was actually miscarrying then. I'll be the positive I got was my body still getting the hormone out of my system. I've been taking $tree OPK's and the line is getting darker. So YAY for ovulation means I can try again.....so here's hping we get a sticky bean this time around. If not I've been doing some studying on PCOS and short of having irregular cycles I'm a perfect candidate. It would explain my constant craving for sweets and carb type foods, and why I can eat biscuits gravy bacon eggs and an hour later my sugar be 110. So if it happens again I'm going to get tests done to find out if I do have PCOS or what's going on.
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  #43  
October 23rd, 2009, 10:50 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,559
HEY THERE....hope you get your this cycle.
__________________

Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************
Their ages in Sept!
Nephews Lorenzo,Charlie both 6
Nieces Tamara 2years old , Arielle 6 month old Lillian 1 mos!
Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************
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  #44  
October 24th, 2009, 06:18 AM
chrissy323's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 6,256
Hey Amy! Good luck this cycle and YAY for a long weekend! Relax sweetie
__________________
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  #45  
October 24th, 2009, 06:30 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,279
I went to a friend''s baby shower today, and I had a really great time. I thought that would be a big crowd of people I didn't know, but there were only 4 people there who were my age. The others were two of my friend's moms and my friend's step-mother-in-law. It was so fun and so relaxing. Now I was asked how I was feeling, and had to tell them what happened, but they were all just as positive as I've been about it. That God knows how much I can handle, and He has a better plan than I do. And I know I can visit my best friend from high school whenever I want now. We had been distant do to being different places in our lives, as well trying to control us husbands(not so much as authortative control, but I really don't want to have to miss you), and just at some points in time different lifestyles. As well as just plain totally different schedules. MY husband used to work 3rd shift and I tried to keep that with him as much as possible for me since I had to go to school, I was totally backwards to eveyone then. Now we are back to daytime and mostly 1st shift people, we are relazing how much better everything is. Even each other. In the last month I've gotten two of my friends back, and both of them are pregnant. So I know God is preparing me for something, I just don't know what yet. We are TTC now instead of a more NTNP...aka he wants me to get the OPK's and is watching for signs of me starting. He's also become a more willing helper in the house, when we kicked back the other night we had a long talk about TTC and our relationship, and I told him I can't do it all, I just can't. I can do the laundry and the cooking, but I just don't have time to do the dishes and other house cleaning. I have 2 night classes and don't get home until around 8 those nights, and I usually have to come home to do something for one of those classes or run errands one those days. I have a several hour gap between my last class and my night classes. I'm doing my best to get back to church and back to Curves, so I can start really feeling better again. Also I think the regular excerise helps keep my body more regular. Also I'm really missing my workouts, because I'm getting weaker....lol. So I get to go back to my fit-n-trim instead of cardio workouts. The other night when we talked about TTC I asked him several questions, because it was stuff I had been thinking about and stuff we just needed to talk about. I asked him if he wanted to wait unti we got out of school, the answer was not entirely. We are going to keep "trying" on our own and if it happens it happens, after school if "it" hasn't happened yet or I keep having miscarriages, then we will seek help insurance or not. He just doesn't want me to have to deal with my mom. But the last couple of days he's done the dishes without asking for my help. Also during our talk he told me he was sorry for intentionally doing things to stree me out after finding out I was pregnant. Not doing the dishes, not helping me, picking fights because I kept saying I need to sit down, I need to take a nap, I just need to rest for a few minutes please....I had my meltdown the other night, and at first he was like you can't cry on my shoulder to which I went to ignore him and be totally quiet withdrawn and then he was like...baby I'm sorry yes you can cry on my shoulder and then he said all the things about he was sorry for drinking in front of me, for not being more supportive and helpful. I think when he told his mom what happened that he realized, I had pushed myself to get everything done because he only wanted to play video games, and also he realized that I didn't say anything about it, that I just said God knows how much I can handle right now, kept trying to be subtle and not demand the help because I didn't want him to be resentful of me or of the baby. So I quietly was the good wifey, but I just couldn't do it. I have even discovered in recent days that I just can't do it by myself and go to school and turn in the quality of work that I need to. So I told him either he got a job, or he helped me in the house. He thought about getting a job, but decided he would rather help me in the house. Especially since his brother will soon be moving out. This way we can just kick back and enjoy each other, also we are taking a Vacation this summer and going to several places in the Western US for a honeymoon. So right now things are pretty good...he was being an ***** this morning, but I told him as much and it didn't take him 30 secs to come back and be sorry. So my supper is now done cooking and I'm hungry and tired....so I'm going to get off here for now.
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  #46  
October 24th, 2009, 09:11 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,559
Girl i always love reading your journals...because the dh and I are in a very different situation from yaw...i still see the similarities like high stress...that is not good for ttc& pregnancy...so i am hoping the stress level goes down in your household...i know things are going to be really different when your brother in law moves out..i can hugely relate to needing to get back into going to church & working out....so do i, so do i.... and it wouldnt hurt for my dh to help me keep his side of our room clean either...

how many months pregnant is your friend? what is she having? and when is she due? i have a super baby bug because i want both of my sister in law's to get pregnant again....since both of my nephews are 1. i miss holding a little newborn- early months babies in my arms.
__________________

Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************
Their ages in Sept!
Nephews Lorenzo,Charlie both 6
Nieces Tamara 2years old , Arielle 6 month old Lillian 1 mos!
Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************
Reply With Quote
  #47  
October 26th, 2009, 08:11 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,279
Well my brother-in-law moved out today...YAY!! Though it seems kind of lonely, lol. I've taken it easy today and relaxed, because I have a busy week of school and house cleaning planned. Plus trying to find time spend with D and my friend. She is 31 weeks, and due December 27, 2009 having a girl. My other friend is Due December 7, 2009 and having a boy. I'm excited to my best friend's baby. We are so much the same. But today has been one of those days were nothing seems to go right. So I'm off to bed. Also DH and I had an arguement last night and it was after 3am when I went to bed, And I had to get up and 7, but slept in till 725.
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  #48  
October 27th, 2009, 07:10 AM
JessMitch's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,342
Whoops on sleeping late! At least you got a little extra zzz's! Maybe you and DH need to have a nice relaxing night at home since your BIL moved out! My best friend and my DH's friend live with my and DH right now. We're still pretty young and figured why not? Plus with the rent they pay it helps us save some money so it works out. I know my bff would be over the moon if I was preggo, she LOVES babies. You can't even get near a baby if she's in the room because she's always hogging!! His friend, well I don't see him living with us too long anyway. So what are you going to school for?
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  #49  
October 28th, 2009, 06:28 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,279
I'm going to school for Early Childhood Education. I'm loving it, just its a lot of work. In fact I have 4 presentations due tomorrow, as this point in time 2 are finished, 1 is not started, and 1 needs written out. They are bullentin board, personal timeline, microteaching assignment(teaching my peers a lesson), and book chat. I have the bullentin board and timeline finished, the book chat needs written out, and the micro teaching assignment is fixing to get started. Right now DH and I are trying to get the house all cleaned up and rearranged so, that when I am preggo, its the way I want, for a while. I have to rearrange to put the our Christmas Tree, so better to do that now, so I can do it the way I want it, without having to give instructions on how to do things. But I must get back to homework now. I'll have a lot to post about in my journal this weekend. Its been a good but very long week.
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  #50  
October 28th, 2009, 07:33 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,559
Do you miss your brother in law living there, or are you enjoying your peace???
__________________

Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************
Their ages in Sept!
Nephews Lorenzo,Charlie both 6
Nieces Tamara 2years old , Arielle 6 month old Lillian 1 mos!
Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************
Reply With Quote
  #51  
October 29th, 2009, 04:28 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,279
I am enjoying the peace...but do kind of miss my brother in law. But that's mainly because he was comic relief when situations got stressful...and we can't go hang out with him when we want to now. But I'm up an hour early to do homework...so I must get started.
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  #52  
October 29th, 2009, 08:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,279
So today I had to do 4 presentations for school and 3 of those were in one class. I have never been so ready for a day to be over. I've felt like I was going to go nutty bonkers today!!! So tonight on the way home from school I decided I wasn't going to do anything school or house related. I was going to come home take a hot shower and relax in my wonderfully comfy recliner. Dh and I had a couple more arguements this week, but nothing worth mentioning. I will say that today Dh got home before I had to leave so at least I got to go school with kisses, since I had 3 presentations due in that class. So today has been a truly long day. At least my head hasn't started hurting from being stressed out. I've noticed today that I feel a little off. I've been craving chinese and snickers so here's hoping lol. Also (TMI alert) twice today when I've had to pee I've almost not made it to the potty. My mouth is hurting tonight but that could be from clenching my jaws today. The plan for tomorrow after class is to clean until the house is clean, Saturday is back to the school grindstone and doing laundry, then Sunday I plan to relax as much as possible. So here's hoping everything goes according to plan...and Dh better help or I won't cook this weekend. I'm just ready for Thanksgiving and Christmas breaks. So I'm gonna relax with DH and watch a movie...and then head to bed early tonight!!
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  #53  
October 29th, 2009, 11:50 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,559
what cycle day are you on? i wish you had a ticker...so i could follow easier
__________________

Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************
Their ages in Sept!
Nephews Lorenzo,Charlie both 6
Nieces Tamara 2years old , Arielle 6 month old Lillian 1 mos!
Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************
Reply With Quote
  #54  
October 31st, 2009, 05:25 AM
chrissy323's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 6,256
Hey Amy! Hope you finally get to relax!!! Happy Halloween!!
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  #55  
November 5th, 2009, 07:42 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,279
Well its been another stress filled week. I usually get on facebook and myspace and update statues at least once a day; I didn't get a chance to get on this week from Friday till Tuesday. Our washer is messed up, so we spent a couple of hours Sunday at the laundry mat. Then to top it all off my mom started being back in her hateful self. I keep getting project after project at school and have a big project due Tuesday. But its all good...I'll get everything done. I just have to remember to take time to relax and decompress. Enjoying my brother-in-law being gone and having my house to myself again...Ready for a few days out of school...Thanksgiving break is looking pretty good right now...Christmas break even better. TTC is kind of on the back burner again. I've been doing some research and given my recent irregular cycles, and some other stuff I'm going to make an appointment with a OB/GYN and get some answers. I believe there's a possibility that I have PCOS, but I don't know for sure. Here's hoping I get some answers soon. Hopefully I'll have time to update this weekend, and have the not tired eyes to get it done. OH I don't have a ticker because right now I'm having strange cycles and I haven't even messed with getting a siggy!!! My life is just terribly busy and I swear every time I think things are starting to slow down, they speed right back up again.
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  #56  
November 6th, 2009, 10:06 AM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,559
nice to see you update your journal....when you do go to your future obgyn appointment...i hope you get all the help and answers that you need.
__________________

Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************
Their ages in Sept!
Nephews Lorenzo,Charlie both 6
Nieces Tamara 2years old , Arielle 6 month old Lillian 1 mos!
Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************
Reply With Quote
  #57  
November 6th, 2009, 10:45 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,279
I have yet to make sure I'm still a patient there, and with that it means I still need to call. I thought my washer was being cooperative again but I was wrong. Oh well at least its being semi-cooperative so that I can use it again. So I'm working on laundry and waiting for DH to get out of bed....we did a bit of drinking last night and he drank to much was up several times during the night sick, and finally got to go to sleep soundly about 8am....so I'm sitting here lonely while he sleeps. I tried to wake up about 15 mins ago, and he was like I'll get up in a little while. So here's hoping that when I go back to wake him up in 45 mins that he'll get up. He's going to be mad because he slept the day away. So I'll have to deal with a pissy DH!!
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  #58  
November 8th, 2009, 11:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,279
Well I'm stopping at the doctor's office tomorrw on my way home from school. Time to find out what's going on. I'm tired of being confused all the time. This no AF and BFN tests there's something not right here. I'm still hoping that we don't have to buy a new washer, because our's is still not working. I thought it was fixed yesterday, but I was wrong I went to use it alst night and it wouldn't work. I'm finally getting to use my new laptop and I love it. Though I'm going to need a little time to get used to the new keyboard. I've got to work a few things for school this afternoon and until I get a Microsoft Office Teacher and Student edition I'm stuck. So I'm fixing to see if my dad has some money so I can pick one up wihile I'm at Walmart. I've gotta get gas and exchange the cable for the new TV. See you ladies sometime this week!!!
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  #59  
November 9th, 2009, 07:28 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,279
I stopped at the doctor's office today and I have an appointment for 1pm tomorrow. I just hope that there's nothing major wrong. But now I must finish my homework and head to bed...it was hard to wake up this morning!!!
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  #60  
November 9th, 2009, 07:32 PM
JessMitch's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Connecticut
Posts: 2,342
Good luck at your appt tomorrow!!
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