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Today is a big day for me. It is the first day that my boyfriend and I have agreed to start trying for a baby. Today I am starting the basal temperature taking, as well as joining several baby web sites. I'm also keeping a personal journal about the process and hoping to conceive soon. Though, I know odds are it will take months. This is an introduction to my life...
Brendan (that's the bf), is a 19-year old student. He's currently going to school in a year long program to become a PCT (Patient Care Technician). Brendan's whole life long dream is to have a baby and be a good father, considering he doesn't have one.
I am Sam. I'm a 20-year old student. Starting in the winter semester I will be majoring is psychology and one day intend to minor in education. I've had a huge turn around in my life over the last 18-months and his name is Tyler, he's my nephew and best friend. Before him I didn't want babies or anything to do with them. But, after seeing him grow from birth until now, the things he's learned and how he's changed and proved my wrong. I'd love nothing more than to have a whole clan of my own little Tyler and/or Tylettes running around.
Brendan and I have been together for about 8 months now. We realize that it's a short time to be together and be trying for a baby. Although, things happened fast for us. We met in college the 2009 winter semester in accounting class, I simply thought he was cute. We have recently rented a condo together and even though we have our times, I love that he comes home to me. I love having him around. The highlight of my day is talking to him while I make dinner, then sitting down and enjoying a meal with him.
He and I are young in a lot of ways. I know, realize and agree that it can be good and bad. For example, even though we do love each other we are not for sure if we will spend our life together. We want and hope to. But, we come from divorced parents. We know that no one has a baby or gets married with the intention of splitting up and for that reason, we agree to do the best we can. We both feel as if having a baby with each other would be the best thing for us and the baby. Also, we don't know if we plan to marry. Would we like to? Of course. Though, to us marriage is nothing but a piece of paper that links us. For us there is no difference in what we have right now and a "legal" marriage. It would be nice, but it is not a priority.
We've talked about every angle imaginable when it comes to conceiving and raising a child right now. All of them lead to the same corner. We want a baby. We know that our child would be raised in a loving, caring, nurturing, educational home.
Our families and friends do NOT know that we are trying. In fact, as far as they know, I'm still on birth control. I think if I do get pregnant my family will be disappointed in Brendan and I but they will love and accept the baby. Tyler was a HUGE surprise, as we all thought my sister could not conceive... he is now the light in everyones life. I do think it will be the same for Brendan and I.
I have few hesitations but I know that once I have a child, I will settle. I know this is what I want. I am not afraid of losing out on being young, I don't party and what-not anyway. Most of my worries are for the baby and the possibilities. Especially being that Brendan's father is not around and has not been for over a decade. We do not know about any kind of illnesses that could be on that side of the family.
For me, I'd like to have as many babies as possible between now and the age of 33-34. Taking into consideration that I want to be able to love, support, manage and make-time for all the children, not just be a baby making machine. Into my late-thirties, early-forties I'd like to possibly run a foster home, or just adopt children that are a bit older. I hope to be a stay-at-home mom until my youngest is in school. Possibly working at home or few hours a week as a psychologist and/or wedding and event consultant (already certified). When all my children are in school I'd like to make a transition into teaching, somewhere between K-3. Then when all my babies are older move into a full work schedule as a teacher by day and teenage/family counselor by night.
We have decided that we would be happy with either gender. If we had a magic wand and could choose we would prefer a boy first simply because I like the idea of all of my daughters having an older brother to look out for them, I'd love a little mommas boy, and I know Brendan would love to have a man around the house with him. However, we'd be equally as happy with a girl. I'd have someone to teach girl things to, Brendan could have a daddy's girl, and without a doubt, we'd have a little tom-boy on our hands... and that alone makes me happy. Riley Anna, would be the name of our first daughter. The women in my family all have middle names somehow including Ann, which would also make Riley named after my mother. Opposing, Michael Richard for our first boy. Michael is my favorite boy name, along with Brendan's middle name. And Richard, would be after my grandfather (also Tyler's middle name.)