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Well, I knew I didn't want to get my hopes up! AF started today, right on schedule really.
I knew it was coming and didn't get too down about it. But now that I look at my newly blank FF chart I feel very frustrated. Of course, my irritability is in full swing today anyways (DH watch out!). Good thing DH is at work and I'm alone until later today.
It seems that everything should be working properly in there. I mean, I clearly detect ovulation every cycle. My luteal phase seems to be 14-16 days or so each time. My temps do what they should do.
So the only thing I can pinpoint that may be a "problem" (besides the statistics that say it takes the average couple 3-12 months to conceive) is that we don't BD enough. There always seems to be something that happens that makes it NOT happen. Like having to go somewhere or have people over so by the time we're home and alone it's late and we're tired.. or I'm too tired because it's too late at night (I fade pretty fast after 10:30pm and we always seem to be "busy" in the early evenings). We try to make the effort to find the time.. But it only seems to work 1-2 times in the "fertile window". That's not enough times to boost up our odds! >_<
So like I told myself at the start of last cycle, I will attempt to "find the time" sooner in the evenings and get more BD X's on that chart. We'll see.
I feel like I'm a really odd person because I do have to put an effort into making sure we BD. To be blunt and honest, I'm never "in the mood". I just don't get that. There's never a time where I just really want to do it! That's not to say I don't enjoy it when we do get to it.. but I never feel like it. DH knows it and has come to accept me. He waits until I show an interest. And since I never really "feel like it" it's too easy for me to put it off.
Workin' on that one. Hopefully this cycle I can "feel like it" more often.
Oh.. and as a side note.. My cycle is being very romantic this time. It's like, dead-on with Valentine's Day!! I'm likely to ovulate around Feb 13-14!! And since DH and I work on Sundays, we're celebrating Valentine's Day on Feb 12 (our day off together). So looks like the week before Valentine's Day should be a "fun" week..
Last edited by cydonia1978; January 30th, 2010 at 10:52 AM.
There hasn't been a lot to write lately. I find the "waiting to O" time to be the longest wait of them all!! I did get to go to the Olympic Flame Relay when it came through my town so that was nice! A little piece of history and all that.
Cycle wise, haven't been thinking about it too much yet. I didn't bother to temp until AF was quite gone. I like taking that break. DH and I got to BD last night, though technically I do know that was way too early. I'll likely O around Feb 14 or 15 this cycle, so I'm hoping we get in the "every other night" strategy.
I have my real check up this Thursday. Unlike the "fake" one a few weeks back where it was supposed to be a check up and they scheduled it wrong. I'm not looking forward to it one bit! I hate those check ups so badly. I hope I can mentally get over it faster this time because if I don't I won't feel much like BD'ing and that'll be right in my prime time!!
Oh, strange story! I'm one of those odd people who don't have their driver's license yet (!!!). Long story short, I've had my learner's off and on over the years but never got enough lessons/practice in to feel confident taking the driver's test. So in December 2008 I took the learner's test again and passed. They were supposed to mail me my driver's license, but they never did!! I was only allowed to use the temporary pass for about a week or so, and it just so happened that was in the middle of the largest snowfall we'd had in a long time, so I didn't get any practicing in before it expired. My real one never came.
Well, we got really busy in 2009 because we bought our first home. Excuses, maybe, but I just got really busy and didn't feel like figuring out the license thing! I did send in a change of address request for DH and I, hoping that it would trigger them to figure out they'd never sent me the card in the first place. No such luck. I got the change of address sticker, but no card. I put it out of my mind for the rest of the year (bad me). As far as I knew my learner's would expire in one year after I took the test, so in December 2009. I let it expire, knowing I'd have to re-take the learner's test (AGAIN) and pay the fee.
Guess what? Today in the mail I got my learner's license!! I don't know what the heck happened.. but it doesn't expire until December 2010! I take this as a sign.. I must get my license this year!! I know that license should have expired last December. Somebody must have seen that it was never finished.. and took it upon themselves to extend the learner's period and send it! I'm so amazed today by that!! Funny thing is that the envelope was addressed to the right address, but the license itself still has my old address. Oh well.. somewhere around here I have that change of address sticker.
Last week I had a doctor's appointment that really didn't go very well at all. It was just a routine check-up, but there were two things that came out of it.
First, I have asthma. I didn't know I did. I never had any attacks or anything. Never had any times that I couldn't breathe. But I have had, on occasion, times where it felt a tiny bit more difficult to breathe. Just a little. Especially in times of high stress or high emotions. Once in a while I'd lay down to sleep and find it harder to breathe. Not every time, but it happened. I guess now it all makes sense. I now have a puffer I'm to take every morning and evening and another one for "emergencies". I don't think I'll ever use that one, since I've never had an emergency before.
Second, there is an unknown something in my stomach/belly region. Dr doesn't know what it is. He knows what it could be, but really doesn't know. He scheduled me for an "emergency" CT scan so we could find out exactly what we're dealing with.
It's very scary. I want to remain positive but there's this nagging fear that it could be something really bad. And even if it is benign, there's a chance that it's in an area that may interfere with bearing children. Surgery to correct it may jeopardize having children. It's hard to say. Apparently one thing it could be is a fibroid, which is a benign tumor that grows in the uterus area. Either in it or on it, normally. Two common ways to get rid of it are surgically, either a hysterectomy or a myomectomy. The second option is the one preferred if you still want to be able to have kids, but there's a risk even with that one that something could go wrong and they may not be able to save the uterus. And even if it does go off well, there's a high chance you'll have to give birth via c-section due to scarring on the uterus.
And that's best case scenario. That sounds horrid, but at least it would be benign.
My CT scan is scheduled for this upcoming Monday morning. I don't know when I get to find out the results from it. I hope it's the same day!!
In better news, this weekend we're going to Victoria, BC! Yay, mini-vacation! We're going to an anime convention with a bunch of friends. It'll probably be a lot of fun. Tomorrow's my last day of work and then we leave around 11am on Thursday. Can't wait! I need the distraction...
Needless to say, I'm no longer TTC. I'll still be here and still post in this journal. Rather, I'm WTTC now. We won't be able to resume TTC until after I recover from surgery, if it goes that route.
i have asthma and havent always had it...so I know what you are going through accept mine is very severe with out advair abueterol and allegra..... I hope the thing on your belly region goes away and does not affect your ability to conceive and give birth to your children. I am praying.
Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy
Nephews Lorenzo,Charlie both 5
Nieces Tamara 2years old , Arielle 5 month old Lillian newborn!
to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
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In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
I think I'm not having a good time with this asthma. Prior to last week whatever asthma I have had barely bothered me ever.. a little bit here and there.. Mostly when I'm highly emotional (stressed, angry, or sad). A little bit with my allergies, but not much. And I'd never had an attack that I could remember.
I started Flovent last Friday, which was prescribed as an every day, twice a day, kind of thing. I realized today that I have been worse since taking Flovent. Daily I'm noticing shortness of breath, tightness in my chest, and coughing. It's all mild, but I never had that before. Not daily. And it seems to kick in after using Flovent. It also kicks in with the expected triggers (high emotions, allergies) but it kicks in WORSE than I ever had before. Prior to using Flovent the way I'd feel after a trigger wouldn't be that much different than normal life. Now it's blatantly different and getting worse.
Since I'm going to be seeing my doctor a lot over the next while to deal with the lump-thing, I'm not calling for an appointment on this yet. I'm going to stop using Flovent and talk to him about it at our next appointment. I have read that some people don't react to the ingredients in Flovent or Advair the same as other people.. for some people it's not very good for them at all, and I'm thinking I was better off without meds. >_<
Yesterday I had my CT scan. My doctor should get the results in about a week. Not sure when I'll hear from him. Hopefully soon. CT scans aren't much fun! The scan is fine, but it's the dye injection that's icky. Bleh. I hated the feeling of it filling my body. >_<
Our trip to Victoria was good! Everything except the motel our friend booked. That place was scary. Dirty and poor service. I don't usually go "fancy" with hotels but I've never been in an actual dive (that I recall). But beyond that, the anime convention was a lot of fun! It's so great to just hang out with everyone, relax, enjoy the various costumes and go in and out of panels and video rooms, just doing whatever.
I wish we could have stayed longer. It would have been nice to see more of Victoria, to actually have time to "play tourist" and all that. Maybe next year!
I'm really upset that we're WTTC right now. I just feel like time is ticking away from me. I'm 31 years old. I wanted to have my first child before I turned 32 but that won't happen now. I was okay if I got pg this cycle and I just turned 32 around the time my baby would be due.. but at this rate I won't even be having my baby in 2010. I'm very sad about that. DH is all "whatever, it'll happen when it does" kind of attitude, but he's younger than I am! It doesn't matter to him when it happens as much as it does to me! And if we decide we want two.. we're getting closer to the ages where it will start being really difficult.
Sigh. Venting over for now.
Oh! I almost forgot.. apparently I have passed 500 posts!! (505 as of this one) That's crazy.. I don't think I've ever had more than maybe around 50 in a forum before, ever. Can you tell this place is great??
So until after my recovery from surgery, I guess we're officially WTTC. It's bittersweet. On one hand, I'm so very relieved that the tumor isn't malignant. On the other hand, I'm very upset about having to put off TTC. I'm trying not to think about how awful it is to have to wait longer. Instead, I'm going to be completely positive that as soon as my body's recovered we will get pregnant! So, I may not have my baby in 2010 but I will get pregnant!
At least, that's what I keep telling myself. If they get me in for surgery sooner rather than later (which they might considering the size of the thing, and it's still growing) then there's a chance I may be in for surgery as early as April. Recovery may be around 4-8 weeks. The surgery will be very very similar to a c-section, which the average recovery time is around 4 weeks. There's a chance I may be back to TTC by June! And if not, then by July or August. I guess that's not bad.
I'm still going to be hanging out here in TTC#1! I'll be keeping everyone posted on what's going on and will probably mirror those updates here.
And like I said on the main board.. I want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone! You are all so very loving and supportive! It means a lot to me and I hope I can be there for all of you in some way or another as well.
After a three month hiatus I finally found myself returning to the world of JM. The stress and fear surrounding my health issues and surgery got the better of me and I found myself shutting down a bit. It's okay, I think it was probably for the best.
But now I'm back! Back to work, back to JM, back to "normal", I guess. DH and I are officially starting up TTC again this month. Of course, that just means that I'm hoping to time things well and all. Other than that, we're being pretty relaxed about it. I've started temping again, but only because after five months of temping with no results, I'd hate to NOT get to see what my BFP chart looks like! Other than that, I don't care much about temping. I know my body pretty well.. I usually get quite obvious EWCM so I generally know how to time things. Temping doesn't help too much with timing anyway. It's just fun to watch in the 2WW when you have nothing else to keep you amused. lol!
I hope everyone has been well while I've been gone. I'm finding it slow to get back into the swing of things, but I'm glad to be back. This is a big step in our lives and I'm happy to share it with others going through the same/similar things.
I am happy to hear that everything has been going good for you now that you have had everything taken care of! I hope that you get your this cycle! Wouldnt that just be the best thing since you had to take a break for a litte while!
My cycles seem to come in waves of 28-days/35-days/28-days type patterns... My last cycle was 32 days and the one before that was 28... so I figured this cycle would have been another 28 day one. Well, nope! Apparently this one is going to be a long one. At this point I'd estimate it running for at least 36-37 days. Sigh!
So I'm all paranoid about this cycle, too. I mean... it's my first cycle that I'm tracking since my surgery. My left ovary is the only one left, and it needs to work properly every month now! My periods prior to this cycle were kind of off... spotty, light, or too short. This is the first one that seemed relatively normal. Check, normal period!
Next I had to worry about ovulation. Would my little ovary actually do it's job? And considering I had no idea early in my cycle how long of a cycle I would have, I've been dwelling on this and paranoid about it since around CD 14 or so. It, literally, could happen any time! From CD 15-17 three OPK strips in a row came back stark white, letting me know I was nowhere near ovulation. Panic!
On CD 22 I had a tiny temperature dip. I wouldn't have thought too much about it, but an OPK the night before had finally come back with a faint line! Yay! DH and I had DTD on CD 21, thankfully. On CD 23 my temperature skyrocketed and I got very excited - certainly I had O'd the day before! I put in fake temperatures for a couple days and FF gave me crosshairs! Now I just had to get those temperatures for real!
On CD 24 my temperature was 97.9! Amazing! Definitely this was it... but on CD 25 as I turned on the thermometer to take that days reading... I noticed that my sleepy, bleary eyes the day before had misread the thermometer (it saves one day's data). It was actually 97.4. That didn't seem too high. It certainly wasn't as high as previous post-O temps for me. And to top it all off, CD 25's temp was 97.3. Going down?? That can't be good.
So at 5:45 in the morning on my day off (stupid temping-at-the-same-time deal) I was running off to FF to enter these temps and watch fearfully for the crosshairs to disappear.
It's still considered high enough about the others to leave my crosshairs in place!! According to FF (and backed up by a faint OPK test), I O'd on CD 22! Thank goodness!!!
Now I just have to fret through the next two weeks of temperatures. Will they go too far down? Will they get up to where they ought to be for post-O?? Will I dip around CD 28-33, when implantation may happen?? Will I be able to resist testing until CD 36?
Phew. I'm glad it's summer as that tends to keep me busy. I'm really hoping to not actually dwell too much on the above questions over the next two weeks.
I have a theory.. (no, not bunnies.. for those who'd get that line).. If I had of had the 28-day cycle I thought I was going to have.. and if I had of gotten pregnant.. I would have almost definitely had an Aries baby. And, no offense to any Aries people out there, but I read up on Aries kids and I don't think I'd get along with one very well. Technically DH and I would be compatible, but there's lots of traits in an Aries that I wouldn't relate too, making for difficulties. However! My EDD if I get pregnant now would be April 19th.. one day before it's possible to have a Taurus (which I know I'd get along with better because my mom and father-in-law are both Taurus and I get along with them just fine). I could still have an Aries child, but you never know! My fingers are crossed for a BFP and a Taurus baby girl!
At the start of this, my 17th TTC cycle, I decided I'd had enough and I didn't want to chart anymore. I'd miss the chart, but not the thermometer every morning. I'd already backed off from a lot of my TTC activities. I'd stopped bothering to visit JustMommies.com back in August for mostly selfish reasons. Basically, I was getting too depressed when seeing other people get BFPs. I was happy for them, but getting more and more worried about my own chances. So, for a mental break I stopped visiting.
For a long time I had adopted the TTC plan of "just let it happen", meaning.. I wasn't trying to force us to only BD when I was fertile. Of course, I knew which times had better chances than others, but I was trying to be casual about it. Didn't seem to help much.
I had very slight cramping on Feb 26th and a very tiny amount of spotting, so I thought my period was coming. Nothing. Looking at my tracker, even without charting I figured I was probably not due until the following weekend. Sure enough, on March 4th I had more really light cramping and a teensy bit of spotting, so I started wearing liners and figured, any day now. I was even feeling grouchy, like usual at that time of the month, so I went with that.
On March 8th I realized, "This is weird.. According to my fertility signs I really should have started by now!" Based on EWCM, I could guess when I ovulated within a 5-day gap.. And my luteal phase is always 14 days, so it was clear that something was up. The night before I'd gotten swollen ankles, and I was definitely noticing my breasts being more sensitive (though minutely). I figured, still, that there was no way I was pregnant. I mean, we'd only got to BD twice this month, and I was pretty sure one of them was no where near my ovulation.
Regardless, I estimated I was 4 days late, so that evening I did a "cheapie" test. The answer was almost instant..
BFP!!!!! No doubt, not faint, just very dark and clear, two lines!!!
My face flushed.. I felt like I had a fever.. I started to hyperventilate a little, just a bit... I got my camera and took pictures, but couldn't calm down.. Couldn't figure out a clever way to tell DH, I just had to tell him. I couldn't make my voice sound normal. It was shaky and freaked him as I called that I needed him. I was nearly crying, but mostly I was just shaking with excitement.
After telling him, he cracked a cute little grin and said, "Took you long enough!" Perfect!! Knowing all the various fears and worries that would flood him, those words were beautiful to me. A bit of teasing, and nothing along the lines of "oh great".
My next thought was wondering what time it was, because I needed to call my mom. But, it was late so I decided I wouldn't tell her until the next day, especially after doing a digital test in the morning.
So, the morning of March 9th I did the ClearBlue digital test. I think the answer is pretty clear...
I'm pregnant!! According to my last cycle start, I'm due around November 6th. Scorpio child (oh no).. And according to the Chinese gender predictor, a boy. I've always felt I was going to have a daughter and we only plan on having one child.. so we'll see!