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Jessi's TTC Journal


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  #1  
December 8th, 2009, 04:17 PM
KennasMama's Avatar Loving my baby girl!
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: OR
Posts: 1,860
I've decided to start this journal in hopes that it will help me de-stress a little in my hectic life. It will also give me something to look back on when we do get pregnant and after we have a baby. - which would be nice. First, a little about us, and then since this will probably become a bit of a "uggghhhh" place for me, I'll be diving right into it.

I am Jessica and my DH is Nick. We met my freshman year of college at a rodeo (of all places) and have been attached since. We've been together a total of five years and just had our second wedding anniversary on October 20, 2009. I have known all my life that I wanted kids and the sooner the better. But, I also wanted to do it "right" as my parents (and Nick's) got pregnant very young. So we have been waiting patiently for things to fall into place. I wanted to finish school, be married, have a steady job, etc. Now that it's all happened - though I am by no means in a job I want to be in forever - it's finally TimeforBaby!!

This is our first month not taking BCP, which I was on for 7 years. I stopped taking the pill when my cycle started on 11/11. Which officially puts me at 28 days in my cycle. We originally had plans to simply NTNP and see where that gets us. As I have been feeling AFs slow presence DH realized he is quite sad at me not being pregnant the first go, lol. So, after this first month we have definitely decided to TRY...at least by using OPKs and BDing a lot based on that.

Now a little confusion to myself....
It being my first month not using BCP I have no idea how long my cycle will be or how long it will take to even out and be regular. But, staying in a 28 day cycle (like when I was on the pill) and cycle day 1 being 11/11 ovulation calculators predicted O to be the 24th or 25th. I don't remember exact dates, but I do know that we BD quite a bit leadingn up to those days and on the 25th. Based on EWCM that prediction would be correct. I had never had EWCM in my life and couldn't understand what all the hype was...WOW!! I knew it when I saw it, it practically dripped from me for about 20 minutes, lol. Anyway - for the last 2 weeks I have had horrible bloating, some cramping, and quite a bit of pressure in my lower abdomen. These are all things I get about a week before AF (they last about 2 days) and then they'll come back with AF for about a day. I have had off and on symptoms for about 2 weeks now. I have also had to fight myself from sporadic vomiting maybe three times in the past week. Just sudden nausea that goes as fast as it comes. I also snapped at DH the yesterday for something his friend did and I can't even explain why I was so angry. It was like my body was possessed for a minute and I just went off. That too, was gone as fast as it came and then I was fine and back to my normal self. Now, if I stay on a 28 day cycle (who knows if I will) then AF should be here today or tomorrow. No signs of her yet. Hmmmmm.

Basically where I'm at is this...For right now I love the fact that I could be pregnant and there could be a baby growing happily inside of me. I love that fact soooo much that I refuse to POAS. I can handle it a lot better if AF shows up than I can getting a BFN on a pee stick. If I POAS and get a BFN I have no baby AND no AF to show for it, no thank you. DH and I have both decided that if AF does not show up by the weekend I will POAS. I don't have much hope for there to be a LO, as that would just be crazy how fast it happened. So for now I can pretend there's a possibility, until I either get AF or POAS. I try not to obsess about it too much as I really feel like AF is just sitting in the corner laughing, holding out on me until the last second. I guess we'll see.

Wow, very long winded, but I got some stuff off my chest. I haven't talked much at all about my situation on the boards 'cause I don't want to jinx myself, silly I know. I feel like if I talk about there being a possibility that AF will show up two seconds later, just to prove me wrong. But, I've got my own journal where I can blab all day long about my crazy thought processes and not worry about it. And I am a bit of a writer so very rarely will my journals be short and sweet - I can talk a lot, and usually have a lot to say.

We'll see what the rest of the week brings

Novemeber, 2009 - Cycle 1 (29 days)
December, 2009 - Cycle 2 (29 days)

January, 2010 - Cycle 3

CD 1 (Jan 8) - AF
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Last edited by KennasMama; January 8th, 2010 at 04:21 PM.
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  #2  
December 8th, 2009, 05:02 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Welcome to the board I hope you get your right away...oh and nice siggy!!!
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Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy



My 3rd Niece Lillian Nicole- Due 9/8/14

************************************************** ********************
Nephews Lorenzo,Charlie both 5
Nieces Tamara 2years old , Arielle 4 month oldNiece Lillian due to be here around 9/8/14
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 posts
*******************************************
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  #3  
December 9th, 2009, 08:00 PM
KennasMama's Avatar Loving my baby girl!
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: OR
Posts: 1,860
Thanks, Nayomi!

Soooo, another day and still no AF. I am trying oh so hard to remain calm and sceptical. I know it's (most likely) my body just regulating and getting into it's own rythm. I have decided that if she's not here by Friday night that I will buy a test and POAS first thing Saturday morning. I wouldn't even be able to describe my ecstatic-ness if I were to actually be pregnant on the first try, but if not I really just wish AF would show so we could start another cycle.

I've got another 12 hour day at work tomorrow, to wrap up my forty hour week...at this job at least. Then work in the Juvenile Detention on Friday from 6a-2p and then off to a working interview at a new job opening I am trying to get into at the place I currently work. Ugghhhh, I am already exhausted and really want to just curl up in bed.

I cried on my way to work because the radio station I was listening to did a "make a wish" type thing for a family in town. I NEVER cry at stuff like that, maybe a sign? A sign that I am crazy! Most likely your average everyday hormone that rides on the back of AF's broomstick and my lack of BCP just brought it out!

*sigh*

Tired, another hour and a half before I can be home and a lot left to the week. I'll update tomorrow.
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  #4  
December 9th, 2009, 11:44 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hey! what kind of work do you do at the Juvenile Detention? I use to be a Security Guard at a Men's Prison.....that is why I am asking....and I had to work 12 hours sometimes 16 hours if I had to do over time which came often......I worked the night shift...so by the time I hit my pillow...I was too tired for Ttc
__________________






Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy



My 3rd Niece Lillian Nicole- Due 9/8/14

************************************************** ********************
Nephews Lorenzo,Charlie both 5
Nieces Tamara 2years old , Arielle 4 month oldNiece Lillian due to be here around 9/8/14
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 posts
*******************************************
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  #5  
December 10th, 2009, 07:07 AM
BabyLove23's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I dont think I can wait for Saturday!! TAKE THE TEST!!!
LMAO! Can you send some of that control this way? I would have POAS 10 times by now!

Best of luck to you! Please keep us posted :-)
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  #6  
December 10th, 2009, 08:55 AM
amonstersmomma's Avatar Coetta Dawn
Join Date: Oct 2009
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Welcome to the boards =) I definitely have to agree with you on the POAS being more disappointing then AF. I did test on Cycle 1-3 and it was SO depressing! I don't think I will test unless AF is late this time. The main board is great; even if you just lurk (I'm guilty of that most of the time). I learned a ton about my cycle that way. Do you Fertility Friend? Most ladies use it too chart, but I can't seem to get the proper amount of sleep during the right times to produce a decent chart. But I do use FF just to keep track of my cycles. It might help; that is if you're not already preggo Did you test yet?!
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  #7  
December 10th, 2009, 09:43 AM
KennasMama's Avatar Loving my baby girl!
Join Date: Nov 2009
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Posts: 1,860
Thanks ladies!
Nayomi - I only do oncall work at the Juvenile Department right now. i work in the detention and a Treatment Center in the same department. I am a groupworker...so it's like babysitting, I love it though. The job I work at for 12 hour days is my caregiving job, which I am really tired of and I do not like the lady I take care of. It's mean to say, but very true.

So, now for an update...

While in the shower last night I decided to see if I could possibly find AF myself. I swished around in there looking for any sign I could find, and nothing. Hmmmmm? BUT, lo and behold 10 minutes later after peeing there she was. I was strangely excited (I would have been more excited with a BFP, but what can you do?). I know it's odd to say, but it was nice to know how long my cycle was. Now, that's not to say it will be the same this cycle as my pills could still be working their way out of my system, but a 30 day cycle is pretty nice. So, we've got some new plans for this cycle as DH was more upset at no baby than even he thought he would be. It was kind of a funny conversation...

me: "So if I have your full cooperation and you can assure me that you will have sex with me when I tell you to, I will buy a pack of OPKs and we will go based off of that. But seriously, we'll have to have sex like 4 or 5 nights in a row and you're just gonna' have to suck it up."

DH: "Yeah, but that's more like actually TRYING to make a baby than just letting it happen...okay yeah, I wanna' do it!"

It was pretty cute and I can't say how excited I was to hear that. DH isn't much for sex all the time (I swear I married a woman sometimes) so I was very sure to get the point across that I will jump him for a few nights in a row. I told him I don't even need him to do work, I just need his swimmers, lol. He was A-okay with that.

So all of my "symptoms" were simply those of good 'ol AF and I think they were a little different than usual due to the lack of pills in my system. But, oh well, it's on to next month!

Kreed - You crack me up, such a pusher. It looks like we're close to the same cycle now, so maybe we'll both get our BFPs this month!! BD like mad! I have a feeling that as I get more cycles under my belt I'll become more of a POASer, we'll see. Hopefully I don't have a lot more cycles.

Sherlock - The BFNs are indeed too disappointing for me to handle. We are close to the same schedule too...woohooo, some cycle buddies (though not exact) - here's to us both getting our BFPs for a New Years present! I am on the boards all the time, and I do use FF, but just to track my cycle. I don't temp and chart using that. But I do (or will rather) mark down when we BD and I will be using OPKs this cycle. Good luck!!!
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  #8  
December 11th, 2009, 12:38 PM
BabyLove23's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That website is great! Thanks! I have never been to biglots, but I know there is one near my gym. I think I will stop by there on the way to class tonight!
How long are you going to Maine for? Im so jealous, I would kill for a vacation right now!

I have not started the whole "charting" thing either. At first I thought I would, but now I dont think so. That way drive me over the edge!! For now, its just OPK's for me!

Happy BDing!!!
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  #9  
December 12th, 2009, 11:34 AM
KennasMama's Avatar Loving my baby girl!
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Kimberly - I will be in Maine from Feb 12-19 so just a week. Normally we'd stay the weekend too, but I am sadly going solo without DH and wanted to be able to spend the weekend with him when I return. I am very excited, our last Vacay was Sept 2008.

As for me, nothing much has gone on. I have desperately been trying to get a new job as I really can't stand to stay in my job one day longer. I am currently in the running for a new position in the same company I work at now, but I'm not sure it's going to happen as I want more money than want to give me. Who nows. It's been stressing me out lately.

AF is giving up a little, the worst two days are over and I can breathe again. The first 2 days always try to kill me with extreme bloating and cramps, which luckily is alleviated qute a bit with Pamprin.

We have no plans for the weekend - for once - which is a nice feeling. I just made Dutch Babies for breakfast and they were delicious!! I just uploaded some pictures of my dear baby, Kane from last weekend and have to share as he is sooo cute!




Awww, I was going through my pics and found the ones we did with my 1st baby that we lost to cancer back in Fabruary, he was only 4 years old. He was such a good looking boy!!


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  #10  
December 12th, 2009, 04:22 PM
Lex&angels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Oh I'm so sorry about your dog, he was adorable..
Kane is so cute dressed up!
I'm glad AF is leaving you more or less alone. Good luck with the whole job thing, I know how you feel although my issue is more mind-numbing boredom so I guess I can deal with it awhile longer.
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  #11  
December 13th, 2009, 07:14 AM
denalibear's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Welcome to journals...I am trying to get caught up on all of the journals over here.

Sorry AF showed... I hope this cycle is the one for you. I'm glad you are going to try opks this cycle...I highly recommend them they are wonderful....

Your furbabies are too cute! I love the pic of Kane in his hoodie!
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  #12  
December 13th, 2009, 10:48 AM
KennasMama's Avatar Loving my baby girl!
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So I hauled my butt to Big Lots yesterday and got a 7 pack of OPKs for $6. So I got 2 packs and spent the whole drive home reading and re-reading the pamplet to myself and to DH. I want to pee on one soooo bad, but as AF is till in town it would be a huge waste. I just keep llokig at the picture on the box and get sooo excited. I really hope they work and result in a little bean in my belly. DH is excited too and keeps telling me to pee on them and that he wants to pee on one, such a goob.

My dilema: As it is only my second month off BCP I don't really know if my cycle will be 30 days again. I am told (online and by the OPK pamplet) to start testing on the 12th day of my cycle (for a 30 day cycle). I don't want to miss my surge, but also don't want to go through 5 boxes of OPKs. Also, when should I start testing twice a day? From the beginning or more towards the 15th day of my cycle? Or wait and play it by ear...if it's very light don't bother or if it's getting dark pee twice in a day? I am anxious and confused all at once. Any help or ideas???
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  #13  
December 13th, 2009, 03:05 PM
Lex&angels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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How long were your cycles before BCP? Mine were always long before BCP and they were long after. If you had shorter cycles before I'd start testing assuming the cycle length you used to have so you won't miss the surge.
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  #14  
December 13th, 2009, 03:55 PM
amonstersmomma's Avatar Coetta Dawn
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Yay! I love Opks! Lol. I just started using them last month and I started testing on CD 10; at CD12 I started testing 2x a day. If I end up getting a + on the same day as last cycle (CD14) then next cycle I'll wait till CD 12 to start testing. I just want to make sure I'm going to be consistant first. Good luck and tell the hubby to keep away from your pee sticks Lol
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  #15  
December 14th, 2009, 11:39 AM
KennasMama's Avatar Loving my baby girl!
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Thanks, girls, good advice.

I am quite sure AF is headed out of town and this will be my last day of her unwelcomed visit. Now it's just BD like crazy and then the infamous TWW. I should know more today about the job I am trying to get into, though I am not feeling very good about it.
Has anybody else seen the Pampers "Silent Night" commercial with all the sleeping babies?? Do you let out an "awwwww" when you see it and hope that by this time next year you'll have your own little sleeping bug? Love that commercial!!!
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  #16  
December 14th, 2009, 11:45 AM
jensma's Avatar Katie: mommy to Ty & Em
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you are much nicer than me. Everytime i see the Kay jewelry commercial with the parents and the new baby it makes me want to jump in a hole somewhere!!

Glad you are optimistic and I hope round 2 is it for yoU!!
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  #17  
December 14th, 2009, 11:57 AM
KennasMama's Avatar Loving my baby girl!
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That's funny. I just saw that for the first time yesterday and thought, "whatever, you guys are stupid! Who acts like that?" I see babies and think cute, I see couples with new babies and they're just dumb actors!!
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  #18  
December 14th, 2009, 01:15 PM
BabyLove23's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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LMAO JESS!! I said the same thing when I saw that one!!!
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  #19  
December 16th, 2009, 12:27 PM
KennasMama's Avatar Loving my baby girl!
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I have not been feeling all that well in the past couple weeks, but was simply chalking it up to stress over my miserable job! But late Monday night while getting ready for bed my kidneys started hurting. Being quite familiar with this phenomenon (having had stones and infections in the past) I figured I would try to sleep it off and see how I felt the next morning. I didn't sleep at all due to pain and it hurt to get out of bed. But I soldiered it up and went to work, where I continued to feel worse and worse. Horrible headache, nausea, kidney pain, peeing every 5 minutes.
Long story short I went home sick and rested. Went to the doctor at 3:30 pm which reminded me how much I dislike my doc and need a new one. I said this happens frequently, pretty sure I have a kidney infection, yada yada yada. After he ounched me in the kidneys to see if it hurt and peeing in a cup it was confirmed, not to any surprise by me. So I am now on antibiotics for 10 days and am not allowed to take my prenatals or multivitamins, which stresses me out for whatever reason.
I get so frustrated with my doctor!! I know I have an infection, I have problems with my kidneys about once or twice a year. It would save me a lot of time and money if I could call in and say "my kidneys are broken again, please give me some antibiotics." But no, I have to skip work, make an appt, see the doc for 2 seconds and then get the pills. Uuugghhhh, whatever. Hopefully the pain/nausea will be gone tomorrow as I am still very weak and sore. This better not affect TTC this cycle and better not screw up my OPKs as I've read medications can do.

I had a dream I POAS (OPK) and it was positive. To early to do so though, so I'll start this weekend probably. Can't wait!!!
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  #20  
December 16th, 2009, 03:07 PM
Lex&angels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ohhh no I'm so sorry you're in pain! I've never had them so I don't know how it feels, but maybe it's a good thing you got the day off work?
Although I'm with you on the being frustrated you need to go see the doctor. I hate that!
Why can't you take your prenatals & the meds? Do they interfere or did your doc say to avoid TTC?

It *might* make O come a few days later than usual if you're still taking the meds (my doctor says no but he's a man and hasn't seen my charts!)
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