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Amy's New TTC Journal Updated 2-10-10


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  #1  
January 3rd, 2010, 12:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
Well after much thought and consideration and heartfelt conversations with Dh, it is offical to say are anything other than TTC is crazy. We finally managed to express how we feel to each other about a lot of stuff over the holidays. TTC was one of the issues and he was like well a baby is not the first thing i really want right now, but is on the list of I wants and We'll do whatever it takes. I finally told him that if I'm able to when I get pregnant I'll get a part-time job and work until baby comes, then I stay home and go to school, because we would be paying for me to work. And really I'm ok with working while I'm in school if there is a reason behind it. That would be an awesome motivator to do my best at school and work. But we also said we are happy with it just being the 2 of us for however long, because we have other things we want to accomplish before having a baby. Its not a NTNP thing now, because I am going to start charting and having to take the Clomid and stuff, but not going to let ourselves get stressed over it, because we do at least know that there is something wrong with me now. And that having a baby will truly be a blessing for us. I am ready for af to be here so we can move on the next cycle, and hope and pray that its our turn for a blessing. There are some many people in our family having babies, and while I'm happy for them and feel joyed that I will be able to have a chance to inspire a child, my heart is screaming When is it going to be my turn, then my heart says its ok your turn is coming soon. I just have to hold on to faith and God. 2009 was a rough year for my family, 2010 is already looking better. I actually cried when midnight hit New year's Eve because it meant I could close that chapter of my life, and begin a new one.

Ugh!!! I hate provera!!! The hot flashes and sleepless nights are killer!! If 100mg Clomid doesn't work I might have to talk to him about trying something else...taking the Provera is killing me! I swear one minute last night I was freezing the next I was burning up. Trying to sleep was awful..But the provera is working faster this time because I already feel like af is just around the corner. Man I'm so not ready for Christmas Break to be over...I only have a week left...feel like I just got out of school. Oh well I've been having fun and I guess that's what matters. Made a decision to get SERIOUS about losing weight and I start the diet plan and routine tomorrow...glad to have the first 7 days down by the time I go back to school. I get more freedom for lunch eating that way. I'm going to be using the Curves Higher Protein Diet combined with CurvesSmart workouts and walking. I was going to do all this the week I sprained my ankle...and its just now getting healed enough for me to think about it. So here's to losing the weight I need to be healthy!

Ok if I've offended anyone here, I hope you'll give me a second chance. I made some realizations while reading my old journal that I came off sounding like a bitter and hateful person, and after thinking about it I realized I was turning into my mother. I've alway promised myself if I found myself turning into her I would turn my life around, and become the person I wanted to be. So at this point I'm making some drastic changes in my life. I would love to find ladies who are willing to be a support network for me during our TTC journeys.

Last edited by MommyBeth; February 10th, 2010 at 07:07 PM. Reason: changing name
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  #2  
January 3rd, 2010, 02:16 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
Ok since I'm pretty sure I never put a background story in my old journal; Here we go!

May 2007-Went off BC in the middle of a pack, to begin TTC just before getting married. Also the month we got married. Decided we would only TTC until I started back to school in August-September. Had af one week after going off BC, did not see af again until I went to GP in September to have BC pills renewed, and find out why I was not having a period.

June 2007-We had to have DH's little brother living with us from the day after we rented our apartment. Then we moved in DH's step-brother and his fiance. So we had 5 people living in a two-bedroom apartment and we hadn't been married 3 weeks yet.

July 2007-Sprained my ankle of the 4th walking home from the fireworks show, and then 2 days later DH was fired from his job, and had to go back to working 3rd shift. And my dad went into the hospital in partial kidney failure(fproducing, not filtering). 13th dad was diagnosed with Stage III Multiple Mylemoa and my world turned upside down.

August 2007-We made the decision for me to quit work. I had taken a 2 week leave to deal with everything, but it just wasn't enough...in fact things had gotten worse instead of better. Dh and I began fighting almost daily, he didn't understand why I couldn't just deal with the fact my dad might die and that it was quite likely. So DH turned in a mean uncooperative stranger, things got so bad he drove step-brother then his brother out of the house. MIL had moved little brother back in with her by that time.

September 2007-Finally give-up and go to GP to get BC renewed and have a second abnormal pap, referred to OB/GYN for further testing. Only went to get BC renewed so Dh would have sex with me again. Saw my OB/GYN in March 2008, and had biospy and coloscopy(spelling), everything came back normal. I had been buying scented tampons without realizing it and changed back to unscented, as well as a terrible yeast infection treated at time of pap.

Fast Forward September 2007-March 2009

We will bypass the months of yelling and fighting until the hatred reached a breaking point. Where when I missed pills and feared being pregnant, becacuse I was afaid of how DH would react, past the heartfelt conversations I tried with Dh where he would shut down, all the time I asked him "Did he still regret marrying me?" until finally he listened to me. When I told him that I thought the BC pills where contributing to my emotional problems, and my wieght problems. I started Curves in June 2008, and found a support network for myself in weight loss.

July 2008-Found we are getting out first house as a rent-to-own from MIL and Dh's step-dad. Very excited, Dh really starts listening about starting a family. Goes back to his 3rd shift job again from roofing, his body couldn't take the heat and strain of roofing anymore. Was suprised by my family, as my grandma came to Arkansas to visit us. Moved from our crappy apartment to our house in 20 days!!! We had to CLEAN, paint, get new carpet and Stove/refridgerator, and MOVE all our stuff!

March 2009-Dh comes to me after finding out he was going to get to go back to his old job as a supervisor. Meant he got benefits and everything from Day 1 of employment. Then we found out they lied to get him back, continued TTC but adapted a more NTNP attidude about it. I went off BC again 4 days in a new pack with Af just ending, she started back 2 days later and lasted for about a week.

April 2009-Af shows right own time, much to our disappointment, we realized and decided we would be more actively TTC. I did research and found that I could chart or use OPK's to know when I was ovulating. I didn't have a BBT, so I thought I would use OPK's and signs of ovulation to know when I was ovulating. Did not have af again until beginning of August which I would find out later was the beginning of a miscarriage.

May, June, July 2009- Af is strangely absent. Day before my Bday DH has a wisdom tooth cut out, my Bday spent chasing a doctor and worried about Dh because he can't keep anything down. Dh's brother also moved in with us that weekend. June and July we pretty uneventful as I went to school all summer. I was out 3 weeks in May and the month of August!

August 2009-Finally have what I think is AF and I was glad to see her. Never really fully started, but had given up on seeing a BFP so I didn't test, though I thought it might be IB. Had 4 days of no spotting the whole month.

September 2009-Dh flipped his car, and I started back to classes finally. Af fully showed on the way to pick up Dh from his wreck. I had been having these BFP dreams, but still refused to test. Finally tested on 23rd and it was BFP, but I had wondered during af if I wasn't having a miscarriage because it was extremely heavy and very clotty(I know TMI).

October 2009-Went to GP with what I hoped was a sinus infection, but was the flu. Had b/w done because I kept getting BFN's when it was most important. Hcg level 6. GP instructed me to wait and see if af, didn't show test again and go from there.

November 2009-Obvisously af didn't show, and I called my OB/GYN; as I was throughly disgusted with my GP, because of their lack of interest in answering my questions. OB/GYN didn't offically diagnose with PCOS, told me I probably miscarried with what I though was Af; Started me on Provera to bring on Af, and wrote me a prescription for 50mg Clomid.

December 2009-Dh and I finally took a trip together since we got married. After thinking we were pregnant again, found our 50 mg Clomid did not make me ovulate, so I wasn't pregnant. Decided we are actively TTC, and I'm going to chart and use OPK"s this cycle. Given Provera to induce Af again and 100mg Clomid. B/w on CD 21 again.

So let's see what 2010 has in store for us.

Sorry I know this is long and if you make it to the end, I'm sending you virtual cookies and milk!

Edit: Light Bulb Moment!

DH is Chris 26 almost 27. I am Amy 25. Married since 5/26/07.

Last edited by MommyBeth; January 4th, 2010 at 04:15 PM.
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  #3  
January 4th, 2010, 11:21 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,567
I want to cry happy tears.....cause reading your journal lets me know 100% that I am not alone in how I feel and everything going on around me with other family members having babies.....also you starting a new journal....I have started many journals (if you have noticed ) but anyway I didnt think you were rude in your last journal if anything you are being real. ne way I would love to be one of the J.M. sisters that is there for you during your Ttc journey...
__________________
TTC# 2 (wanting to join Team Blue)



Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************
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  #4  
January 5th, 2010, 12:31 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
Yea, I was reading through my old journal one night and found myself being bitter and hateful. So I'm trying to change things now. I'm talking to an old friend from hish school and we are determined to get back to being "good" friends again. She was more into the party scence than I was...and for longer than I was. Until she got pregnant she partied often, but with baby coming her and her husband decided they were done. In fact, she told me just the other day that I need to come meet my "neice". I was so happy it made me cry.

I'm still really hating provera, I don't know why, but I have troubles sleeping and terrible heartburn with it. Really looking forward to the end of this cycle, so I can move on to the next one. It'll be nice to have some IRL that I can go to, when/if I get pregnant since we aren't telling family until after the first trimester. In fact, most of our family thinks we aren't trying anymore right now. Haha. But seeing as its 230am here and I'm crashing at the keys I think I'll head to bed!!!
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  #5  
January 8th, 2010, 04:50 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
YAY we finally got snow, but BOO! its put a damper on my workout and diet plans. SO I'm going to start my diet and CurvesSmart workouts on Monday. I am so excited because I know that if I stick to everything I will get great results. Also my Curves is finally hiring and I've been feeling like I should pick up a little job...just something to have my own spending money thing. So I put in my application and when the weather clears up I will probably get a call for an interview.

Took the last dose of provera today....now just waiting for af..and doesn't feel like she's that far off. I've been craving chocolate and sleep like crazy. Tested yesterday knowing full well it would be BFN, but had to POAS, so I wasted an Answer, but its all good. Made me realize just how badly I/we want thaty BFP. DH even get disappointed at BFN's now. But we've given it all to God in that we are doing our part and the rest is up to him.
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  #6  
January 8th, 2010, 08:34 PM
KennasMama's Avatar Loving my baby girl!
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: OR
Posts: 1,860
It's nice to see someone else with a new journal. I can't say I ever saw your previous ones. I look forward to getting to know you better and being able to offer some support on this journey. You have been through a lot, and you're still braving the storm, it will happen for you sometime, I really hope sooner than later. What are you going to school for?
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  #7  
January 9th, 2010, 10:22 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
I am going to school for early childhood education. And I will be finished in May of 2011 so only 1 more year and 7 classes to go!!! I'm so happy. Getting ready to spend the day playing video games with my wonderful DH!

Af is definetly on her way...Very crampy this morning....Expecting her any day now!!

Last edited by MommyBeth; January 9th, 2010 at 10:29 AM. Reason: more info
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  #8  
January 18th, 2010, 10:47 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,567
how are you doing?
__________________
TTC# 2 (wanting to join Team Blue)



Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************
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  #9  
January 20th, 2010, 08:20 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
I'm doing really good...Af finally showing.....I really should've called the doctor Monday, but with my classes and stuff I was putting off until today, because its more convinent; but I've started spotting now. School and Home work keep me busy, and I have realized that I'm going to be horribly MIA again this semester. But its all worth it....being that busy keeps me from obsessing over TTC. I've been praying for guidance and direction. I got my answers, so I'm going to temp, but I'm not going to obsess over it....meaning I'm not waking up at 5 every morning....I most of the time am just reaching that dead sleep state at that point....or waking up to go workout(Mondays). I've got geography homework I should be working on, but I'm putting it off so I'm assured something to do during my gap in classes tomorrow. I really shouldn't waste that valuable time playing games when I can be doing something constructive, but I've been really good about doing that....Tuesday I had left the assignment at home and I didn't feel like working on it Monday....I wanted to spend time with my husband...and after not sleeping well by the time I got the long gap and goiing to lunch with my parents(they came to see me at school).....I was really wishing I'd had my car Monday so I could go take a nap..lol

Hoping 100mg Clomid works and I at least ovulate....I'm ok with not getting pregnant as long as I'm ovulating again.

Baby dust to all!!!!!!
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  #10  
January 21st, 2010, 04:15 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,567
since you are always so busy...when is the next time that you will not be busy (like a mini vacation) the reason why I ask is cause I be missing you being around.... like during last summer?
__________________
TTC# 2 (wanting to join Team Blue)



Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************
Reply With Quote
  #11  
January 22nd, 2010, 12:10 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
Probably won't be around to much until summer time again. I'm being bad and not working on homework and house cleaning right now....bbut af is here. So I'll do it tomorrow...but got to get busy doing stuff that requires me to be sitting down.
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  #12  
January 24th, 2010, 08:39 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
Well I think I have this semester off to a good start...I have been busy doing homework and laundry today. I also got the floors swept and dishes mostly done...Dh can finsih them tomorrow. I'm getting back to the diet and workout plan that I have. I was going to do the Curves higher protein diet, but discovered that really limited my options, so I'm going to use a dietabetic diet and keep my calories balanced as I feel my body needs them. I've been taking my prenatals everyday finally, and I start to Clomid in the morning. I'm so excited...this af hasn't been as cruel as past af's and not even my first provera cycle. I also gave a new kind of pad a try and I like them alot better I won't be using anything else for a while. Dh and I have been getting along pretty good, but he has yet to figure out PMS. I'm actually able to get the house clean and keep it that way, as well as actually getting the laundry folded and put away. I feel much better this semester though I'm still just as stressed as I once was. I've given all my problems and burdens to God and just pray that he will give me the strength to not pick them back up. If I'm really good this week I'm going to pick up me some chinese food next wednesday while DH is at school.....even if I have to go to my mom's school. A couple of places I consider better than what I can get here are close to my mom's school. I'm setting a goal of about 5lbs of weight loss this week. I'm still going to be eating supper with DH and his Bday is this week, so I've got to pick up a cake and try to have a really good dinner for that. But it is time for me to sleep because to workout I have to get up at 5am and then won't get to stop until about 8pm tomorrow night.
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  #13  
January 25th, 2010, 03:10 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,567
You might want to check into the Glycemic Index Diet plan.....and if you decide to try it, let me know what you think of it I am happy that you are getting back into healthy eating and working out. Also I am glad you updated your journal.
__________________
TTC# 2 (wanting to join Team Blue)



Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************
Reply With Quote
  #14  
January 27th, 2010, 07:48 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
So I came to school with Dh again, and I've been doing some studying, but I needed a brain break. So I hopped on the JM and now I'm updating my journal. Missed school yesterday with a nasty 24 hours stomach virus. Barely made it home from school on Monday before it started in on me. The only thing I consumed for 24 hours was Sprite. I'm on Day 3 of 5 of 100mg Clomid.....here's hoping...af stopped with first dose this time..though she was almost gone anyway. So I'm going back to studying....since DH's bday is tomorrow he's skipping half a day of classes.
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  #15  
January 27th, 2010, 10:53 AM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,567
Our dh's bdays are only 11 days apart that is crazy!!! What month is your bday?
__________________
TTC# 2 (wanting to join Team Blue)



Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************
Reply With Quote
  #16  
February 10th, 2010, 07:05 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
Ok honestly if you make it to the end of this update, I send you huge virtual hugs. So settle in its going to be a long one, but very moving, at least to me.

I know I've been horribly and strangely MIA, at least for even updating my journal. But honestly there's been a lot going on. Dh and I have have yet again conquered and faced something that could bitterly end our marriage. I really do not want to share the details because they are quite personal, but know that I truly believe there is a highpower watching over us. I have started keeping a personal journal, but there are somethings that even it will never see. I have shared these things with only a very few very close people to me. People that I know I can trust 100%, and if I ever needed them for anything, they would be there for me in anyway possible. Funny thing is I only know of them through an online game that I play, but I do not hand out my intimate trust easily, and I can only count 3 people that have it. THey are DH, the person I carpool with, and this one other person. I have to admit sometimes we find our true friends in the weirdiest places.

Since Christmas Eve we've had temperatures above freezing at and during the day rarely, temperatures below freezing at night and close to freezing during the day mostly. With about a week's worth of well above freezing during the day and like 10-12 degrees cooler at night, scattered through out. Since the beginning of Feburary we've had about 16 inches of snow, with about a .5inch of ice and sleet mixed in. There was still snow all over in a lot of places when the last Suprise to me snow storm came through. I haven't been to school since Friday I'm going to be so lost. And I just realized I still have to go to Wal-Mart and get stuff for a project for tomorrow. I've been spending a lot of time sitting in my recliner sitting with my snuggy(thanks MIL christmas) reading and taking it easy, but mostly keeping up with school work, and house work.

Af was not horrible to me this time like she usually is, and after starting the Clomid promptly disappeared. I actually had a 6 day af! Rejoice!! Happy dance!! My af's have always been 7-9 days, and just awful. Even with BC, I knew something was wrong but I had no clue what. I was guessing endo, because my mom had it, and to hear her tell it she had it bad, which I'm pretty sure she did. Though over time and lots of reflection now, BC actually made my periods get progressively worse. I honestly had no clue what I was doing to my body, and to a baby. So in all honesty I've been lurking, but so down hearted and upset with myself, for not standing up in what I believed in with Dh and to know what early pregnancy really feels like, and to have experienced these sensations, not tested early, though I suspected I was pregnant, chalking it up to the pills make these symptoms happen, you can't get pregnant on BC pills, unless you miss a pill. I will admit now that I missed pills, susupected and wouldn't test because I knew I couldn't handle seeing that BFN, knowing I had wasted the money, knowing it would be BFN. But now I know that those we likely chemical pregnancies, and the culprit was likely the BC pills, because af would usally be a day late, and extremely heavy. Then the next month I would pay extra attention to taking the pills, because at the time I honestly believe that if I got PG, Dh would leave and I would be left as a single parent. At that point in time I was nearly completely friendless, DH and I rarely went out, rarely got to spend any kind of time together, my dad was diagnosed with cancer, and it was just one thing after another, and I kind of lost it for months. Dh stayed by myside and it only recently that I have been able to confide my fears in him. We have finally learned that we have to be able to completely rely on each other, to bring a child into this world.

I didnt chart this month because I have decided that when/if we get pregnant, will be because we BD'd when we wanated to and not just because the time was right. I didn't even have any OPK's when I wanted to start testing because of the weather we've had. But I saw a faint line even on Cd's 15 and 16. I have a feeling I actually ovulated(if) around CD 13. No Bding that day, but night before and morning after, so bases covered lol. That is the one thing I did keep up with, though I forgot to check my cm those days, because we got about 5inches of snow and it was our first snow, then we got about another 4-6 the next day. And it was just plain cold...I lived in my chair with my school books studying and my snuggy was my best friend. We also got some ice with this storm, snow melts off and Dh and I head back to school again. Then this week Dh is in the shower and my mom calls and says have you looked otuside recently, and we had 2 more inches of snow on the ground. We had just gotten all previous snow melted out of our yard about 2 days before. So I have a suspicsion that I've at least O'd feeling some of the same symptoms I noticed with the last round of provera. I'm trying so hard to get my hopes up, I don't want to get crushed again. Things are finally improving and looking good in all aspects of life, and I would really like for them to stay that way.

I will say I'm ready for the snow and cold weather to take a hike, though I have to admit it has been beatiful snow this year. We do have a chance in the next 7 days for snow twice, lol. I currently have icesciles about 3ft long hanging down on the back side of my house...some on the front side but none with sharp ends at the door, and with temps not above freezing during the day right now we are mostly staying in.

We have a real date planned for V-day...and I'm actually going to do the whole dress up and fix my hair routine, because when he opens his gift he might just have a little suprise. I'm hoping to get a digi BFP, but until I get the b/w results I'm not counting on it, and even then I'm accepting of either way though I want my way lol. I have about decided that I will cook a steak and baked potato or something at home, and go to a movie. All the "good" eating places in this town will have long waiting lines, and be really busy. We are very particular about our eating places anyway.

I will update tomorrow when I get results, but it will be on the main board until I can get home and have time to post to my journal.

In the meantime I'm hoping to be able to get on JM more now. I have been keeping a paper journal, but not even it sees my most private thoughts and feelings. Most of those see my prayer journal. Ok Sorry I know this is long and somewhat rambly and if you read it all again I say huge hugs! If you read between the lines and got the highlights all the way down you get huge hugs as well!! Now baby dust to all who read, or whatever dust it is you need at this point of your cycle!!!!
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  #17  
February 10th, 2010, 07:12 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,567
I am about to read your real nice long post...its weird how I was just thinking about you...then bam this really long entry...Nice!!! After reading your journal all I can say is I can feel your pain....that is what I read in between the lines.... I still can not believe I said inside my head...how is CountryGirl doing..... I had forgotten that our dh's bdays are near by...how was your dh's bday? my dh's bday on the 8th went great. He is 27 now. How old is your dh? did you ever tell me what your bday was? ok so we have so much in common cause like I keep a diary(that i need to update) and i keep a prayer notebook.......(haha so im not alone) I am so glad that your dh let you have those "private talk" cause you can talk to everyone else but it pales in comparison to talking to your dh...since you want to know how he feels......what state are you in by the way? I look forward to you coming around more often when you get the chance. Thanks so much for updating!!!! It made my day.
__________________
TTC# 2 (wanting to join Team Blue)



Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************

Last edited by Jakaira s Mom; February 10th, 2010 at 07:25 PM.
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  #18  
February 12th, 2010, 11:01 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
Well 100mg clomid did not work. Starting provera today, and my next cycle will be the last one TTC if I do not ovulate. My doctor is calling in 150mg clomid and gluocphage. We can't afford anything past what we are doing right now, and honestly if we cant concieve naturally, it just goes against my beliefs to take steps to go further. I'm not dealing with this well right now, I just want to go in search of oblivion, and forget about everything.
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  #19  
February 26th, 2010, 08:18 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: NE Arkansas
Posts: 1,281
Wow! So I haven't updated in a while. But there really hasn't been much going on. Just going to school and doing homework. Finished provera and started metformin. Trying to feel hopeful for this cycle. Currently waiting on af, should be here pretty soon if cramps, headache, legs hurting are any indication.

For those that saw my post here is more information. I have talked to my friend who posted on the pregnant friend's wall, said that she doesn't even want the baby. I'm really not suprised, it was the main reason why I lost it. And she is 7 seven weeks pregnant, she went to the doctor probably today. US photo was posted. While her family and BF are thrilled, she doesn't want it. WHY WHY WHY?????

Other drama stuff, My friend with the 2 month old baby girl is moving to TX soon, and I'm really going to miss them, but its a good move for them. She's having big time problems with her in laws now. Let's just say her MIL exposed her baby girl to thrush and staph infection, by kissing on her face, after being asked not to kiss on her. That she could hold her, just don't kiss on her. So they are all treating my friend like crap 1) because of her getting mad about that, and 2) that they are moving to TX. It's not a good situation right now, and all prayers and thoughts are appreciated. And that was TUes. and Ms. Adorable is healthy and well tonight.

But I'm going to go spend some time with my wonderful hubby!! Going to try to be on more often.
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  #20  
February 26th, 2010, 08:58 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,567
nice siggy, sorry about all that drama/changes
__________________
TTC# 2 (wanting to join Team Blue)



Thanks Jaidynsmums for my siggy


************************************************** ********************Oct
my nephews will be Charlie 6 & Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 7 months Lillian 2 mos


Nov
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
niecesTamara 2, Arielle 8 months Lillian 3 mos

Dec
nephews Charlie 6, Lorenzo 6
nieces Tamara 2, Arielle 9 months, Lillian 4 mos
************************************************** ************************

to get things like fertilityblend (check!
*We currently take Geritol. Check!
*Conceive Plus by Sasmar Check!
Welcome Womb(check!)
progesterone supplements

ClearBlue Fertility monitor and fertility monitor test strips by ClearBlue.
I am considering to buy that.
************************************************** ***************>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> >>>>>
In my TTC#2 Journal
Jan 8,2013 100 posts
feb 6,2014 200 posts
April 26,14 300 postsAug 17,14 400 posts
*******************************************
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