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Ashley's 2010 Journal!!!!


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  #1  
January 7th, 2010, 05:26 PM
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I figured since I absolutely HATED 2009, it would be a good time to start a NEW TTC Journal. I just really feel it's time. I want to start fresh with everything now.

So, it has been 9 months since I stopped the pill and started TTC. Since then, I have had a few ups and downs. I think the best thing that has happened is figuring out that I actually ovulate, at least most cycles. It's usually real late, but better late than never, right?

Last cycle was bad, but it was my fault. I accidentally ended it on my own ...by taking provera instead of stomach pills. How does that even happen?? lol...then before that, when I didn't even temp for once, I had a normal 29 day cycle...what's up with that??? It made me get my hopes up...I thought it would just be normal from then on, but I was WAY wrong, obviously...maybe it was a less stressful time, and that's why???

Anyhow, it has been a while now, but I still have a LOT of hope. I am willing to wait, and to put my best effort into TTC, even if I have to wait another year for meds, which I won't have to.....but I would! I refuse to give up!!

I am beginning to grow tired with charting right now though...I feel sometimes it adds to the stress. I'm thinking about a break. I may just use OPKs next cycle...but, then again, I may just switch to vaginal temping to see what difference it makes first. All I know is I need a change...to feel like I am doing MORE for myself...ya know? I may also order some things, like FertileAide, and Pre-seed.

One of my new years resolutions is to DO MORE in TTC. I don't feel I am trying hard enough right now. I think that OPKs are the way to go, because I seem to do most of my BDing early in my cycle, and then not when I need to...I mean I cover bases for the most part, but not as well as I could if I had a heads up.
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  #2  
January 8th, 2010, 06:05 AM
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HI Ashley - i think a fresh journal and a fresh start is great I look forward to following this journal Good luck!
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  #3  
January 8th, 2010, 07:00 AM
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Today is CD46 of a 50 day cycle, I guess...I am 10 DPO. I had quite a few symptoms this week...not sure about today yet...all I feel today is boobs...they HURT!!! They ALWAYS freakin' hurt it seems like. Oh boy...it's gonna suck when I have engorgement from milk one day

Anyhow, I tested this morning and got a BFN/Evap...boo!!! Here it is:


I don't know if you can even see the evap, but I know it is one, because it was after the time limit...I won't be testing again until 12 DPO..and by then, I will most likely be spotting, so maybe no testing at all.
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  #4  
January 8th, 2010, 06:38 PM
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Sorry about the BFN Ashley. But we still have time, it's pretty early for both us.

I agree that OPKs are good to try if you feel you want to do more. I used them my first cycle off BCP because I was sooo curious what my cycles were gonna do and I was so happy at my first positive, you would have thought I got a BFP! I was on my honeymoon too, I had stashed them in my luggage It's good to have a heads up, that way you can maximize your timing.
When do you think you'll test again?
ps I love your siggy! It's so romantic and you guys are so cute!
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  #5  
January 8th, 2010, 07:17 PM
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Ummm...I think I will hold off until Sunday (12DPO) because I figure that by then, I SHOULD be spotting if AF is coming.I most generally spot for 3 days before I see AF, and I should notice it early if I keep checking my CP.

Thanks so much for reading my journals. Also, for the comment on my siggy . I love it too. *Kiliki* made it for me on the siggy board .

Can't wait to see our temps tomorrow
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  #6  
January 11th, 2010, 05:02 PM
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13 DPO=total disappointment...what a joke my chart is today
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  #7  
January 11th, 2010, 05:27 PM
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Awww Ashley I saw your post over on your other journal but I guess we should post here now instead. I'm sorry about your BFN.. I got one too this morning. I used FMU but yours was like 3rd and 4th.. I hope AF holds off for you tomorrow and you can test with FMU! Do you feel like testing tomorrow or the day after?
At least your temp went up so don't count yourself out yet hon!
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  #8  
January 11th, 2010, 05:30 PM
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Did you test again today?
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  #9  
January 12th, 2010, 06:05 AM
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DPO14: BFN...beginning to think DPO14 isn't even DPO14...lol
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  #10  
January 12th, 2010, 07:26 AM
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Ugh. I hope you're able to make heads or tails of your cycle soon.

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  #11  
January 12th, 2010, 08:34 PM
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Thanks Nikki...I am at a loss..don't know whether to take Provera or just go with 8DPO and wait it out.
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  #12  
January 15th, 2010, 03:25 PM
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HI Ashley - It looks like your temps are high so i think you ARE post-O... I would wait it out. Good luck!!
Smile - it's Friday!
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  #13  
January 16th, 2010, 07:41 AM
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Oh boy...I had a terrible day and evening yesterday. I was "slammed" at work all day. Everyone decides to come to the eye doctor's office on Fridays...lol. I really had them lined up at my desk for hours it seemed. It was better than being bored out of my mind, but I had a lot I needed to do, at the same time, so I was stressed. That place is just so unorganized. I really need a computer there, for sure. We do all the charts by hand still !!! It's nuts!! That doctor of mine is so old fashioned...lol

Anyhow, when I got home, my house was a DISASTER!!! To the point that I just started losing it....I made Jerrod think I was a total b**ch, and then went to the bathroom and just cried my eyes out....then we went to play cards and I was so tired that I was out within' like a half hour...I got home and my dad and sister were at my house (she is staying here right now, still) and I just got soooo claustrophobic...I cried myself to sleep last night. It's so hard to keep it together when you are working, going to school and you have WAY too many people in your house that won't lift a finger to help with anything. If there was just more room, it wouldn't be so bad. I can't wait 'til we get our new place this spring ...we have a lot to do before then though, and a LOT of money to save and then spend all at once...lol. We have to start from scratch on this property, and set a mobile home up until we can build though. (I don't care, as long as I get out of here)

Anyhow, today I am 12DPO, and I am almost certain AF is gonna show in the next couple days. I am having cramps this morning, and I checked my cervix and there was some old blood in there. (which I always have right before AF) I'm pretty bummed, really. I hate it that I have to wait like an entire month or more before it's even possible for me to become pregnant.

I think I am going to go to the doctor soon, and see about going ahead with the clomid and maybe some Met. too. This all is starting to seem pointless to me. I think it's pretty obvious now that I'm not Oing early enough...and who knows what my progesterone levels are like...I am going to call Tuesday and see what my doctor thinks about starting meds earlier than planned.
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  #14  
January 16th, 2010, 08:51 AM
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Ashley I'm sorry things are so hard for you! Can you set up a cleaning schedule at your house with chores for everyone to do? Like a checklist type of schedule and then everyone does their part?
When do you get your new place? That's exciting!

I really hope AF stays away for you! Here's some baby dust
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  #15  
January 17th, 2010, 06:43 AM
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Oh sweetie...Im sorry you had such a rough day...I hope your weekend got better though.

I hope your doctor agrees to let you start medication early...I cant wait to hear how it goes.
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  #16  
January 18th, 2010, 10:38 PM
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i like that your chart temps look nice and high. hope all is well.
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  #17  
January 19th, 2010, 08:07 PM
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So, calling my doc. completely skipped my mind today because I have been so wrapped up in school/my dog. All day I have been just planning for my dog to give birth. I've arranged for her to be at my mom's when she welps, and until the pups are weened. Jerrod just refuses to have them here, because they are most likely mixed and he is embarrassed that he let it happen....I feel like I am sending her to boarding school like a teenage girl...lol.

I hate that she's not REALLY ours because I am afraid that he REAL owner is going to not even give her a chance at hunting now, since she is so young and has had a pregnancy. Jerrod is so upset because he just loves her and she was doing really well for him since he got her. But, I refuse to give her the abortion pill...the vet told me it's risky to her health.

Anyhow...goodness...when will the spotting turn into AF?? This is a long LP for me. However, I do not suspect pregnancy because there is a slight increase in spotting. But I want my new cycle now!!!! I'm getting impatient with it...it has lasted WAY too long.

UPDATE: I think that Jerrod really felt for me the other night, because he cleaned my house for me...even moved furniture, and everything!!! I am so happy!!

Also, we got a mobile home gave to us to move onto our new property until we can build!! It is an old rental that need a lot of work before we can move in, but it has a brand new addition. Who knows how long it's gonna take before we can build, so I am happy we at least have SOMETHING accomplished. Jerrod is going to add to the addition, too, and there will be 2 bedrooms and 2 other rooms for maybe hunting stuff and a spare bedroom. I like a good project, so I don't mind that we have to do work...it was FREE!! haha I will most likely keep a room open in case I get pregnant...just make sure it is gender neutral. lol

Finally...we OWN a place...I don't even care that it's not our house...it's a place to live that's ours . And I get to start from scratch on it...all new everything pretty much!!! We start on things this weekend!!! Yesss!!!
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  #18  
January 20th, 2010, 07:09 AM
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Hi Ashley.
Yay for your new home! I would be excited too!! When do you think you can start building?
I'm sorry about the spotting! But I still hope you're preggers! But if you're not I hope you can move onto your new cycle soon!
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  #19  
January 21st, 2010, 09:01 PM
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I don't really have a lot of time tonight to post, so I will make this very short. I'm trying to finish up projects for this quarter, so I have been VERY busy.

Last night, I stated my period. Uck!! And I woke up in a lot of pain at like 5:30 this morning. I am soooo worn out now. I hate AF!!!

Anyhow, I will be done with another quarter of school Wednesday, thankfully. I'm so excited for this weekend because I FINALLY will be all caught up on school and laundry...and that means I can start putting this house back together. Jerrod did a good job cleaning up when he did it, but I am just so picky about everything. It's time for some early spring cleaning at this point. lol

Not much else going on...no news.

Ummm...we really can't start building until we get some of our loans paid off that we have already. We don't really want to have any more loans as of right now. We need to sell a few things before we can come close to having them paid off. Such as our dozer, and our dump truck that we really don't even make anything from anymore. lol We owe on those and on an ATV right now, and it really adds up to A LOT!! I am soooo glad that I got my new job now, since we really need the extra income to pay for all the remodeling that we are going to have to do to this mobile home. PERFECT timing!!
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  #20  
January 21st, 2010, 09:03 PM
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Aww I'm sorry about AF.
But congrats on your new job!! I hope you'll like it
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