Log In Sign Up

Tamara's Journal


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To TTC JOURNALS LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
August 9th, 2010, 03:05 PM
Gypsy Sun's Avatar Awesome Mommy to be
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 96
Me=PCOS
Husband=Perfect and military man

We have been trying for a year and tried to do it the natural way. That didn't work and now I am on Clomid. I am on the third day of the stuff and I hate it. It makes me feel kind of icky and I don't really like it. After this, I have to go in and have my follies checked, I don't even know what is involved in that.

Not much to my story yet, but it is only getting started.

I am looking forward to meeting new people and finding a support system not only for myself but joining a support network for others.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
August 9th, 2010, 03:29 PM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,503
Hey Tamara!!! Welcome to this board/journals.........
I hope your stay is short n sweet. What branch of
the military is your guy..if you do not mind my asking..
my dh was in the Marines in 2002-2004.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
August 10th, 2010, 07:48 AM
Gypsy Sun's Avatar Awesome Mommy to be
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 96
After reading some other journals, I see I should have given more info.

Matt and I met in 2005. I was 21 and he had just turned 26. He is an Air force man and former marine. I was in love with him from the very beginning and when he got deployed about a month after we met, I decided i would wait for him. He told me I didn't have to and it was unfair of him to ask that of me, but I knew that if I stayed with him I would never be single again. I knew, somehow I just knew that I was meant to be with him. So, I waited for him to get back and we talked on the phone and emails quite often, which was fortunate because military relationships are hard. There are days, weeks and sometimes months where you don't hear anything from the military member. When he came back, in 2006, he asked me to move in with him. I agreed and we moved into our first home. A second later we had our first furry baby, Apollo. He was an older dog from a shelter and he immediately gave us that feeling of "we're a family now". So, a few months later, on our one year anniversary, he asked me to marry him. I of course said yes.

So, the wedding planning began. Everything was going smoothly, but being a bride and worrying about everything working out I stressed a little. That was when I noticed I was losing weight and my periods were acting strangely. They would show up and go and start up again and go away again. I attributed it to stress. I was on the pill, so I figured everything was fine. About six months later we decided that Apollo needed a friend, so we got our next furry baby, Savannah. She was 8 weeks old when we brought her home. She fit right into our home and we felt like parents. Little did we know then that we were about to get a big crash course in parenting from Savannah.

When she was six months old (about a month before the wedding) she accidentally bit through an extension cord. I rushed her to the vet and they gave me some pain pills for her and that was it. At the time, her mouth was swollen up and that was it. No one was ready for what happened a few days later. SHe wasn't eating, playing or anything. She just slept and drank. Also, the side of her mouth was looking worse and worse. I kept calling the vet and they weren't concerned so I wasn't all that concerned. They scheduled an appt. for the end of the week. But the next afternoon, I was looking at my sweet 6 month old baby laying there. I looked into her eyes and she was saying something was wrong. I couldn't wait until the end of the week to bring her into the vet. Something had to happen now. So, I called my husband and made him come home. We packed her stuff and took her to the animal ER. They shaved the side of her face when we got there. (She is a long haired dog and it is hard to see her facial features sometimes). That was when we really saw the damage. It looked like half of her mouth was blown off. I was devastated. I felt responsible. I felt guilty. I felt like I had made it that bad and I was heartbroken. So, they kept her over night and gave her pain killers and antibiotics and started a cleaning regimen that we would follow when we took her home the next day. This is where the crash course in parenting started. When we brought her home, we had to clean her mouth every 45 minutes, all day long. We had to do this even at night. So, there was about 3 weeks of no sleep for either of us. Savannah, was such a trooper though. Little by little she came back to the puppy she was before. Meanwhile, the wedding was closing in. So, stress was at an all time high. My periods nearly stopped.

The wedding was beautiful and simple and perfect. Then, we went back home and things calmed down. We opted out of a honeymoon that year and decided to wait until we had more money. So, things got back to normal and so did my periods. So, I was positive it was just about the stress.

A few months later, Matt and I decided to go off birth control. So, I stopped taking the pill but we still used condoms. Mainly, I got off the pill because of the weight gain. As soon as i got off of them, I lost weight. My periods were fine for a while. We didn't want babies yet, but if it happened it was fine with us. We had put money away and we were comfortable.

About a year and a half later, my father had to have heart surgery. He went in for a very risky surgery and made it out. But, his recovery was strange. For 2 weeks, he teetered on the edge of consciousness. He ended up coding and being put on life support and we had to make the decision to take him off. he died shortly there after. I was devastated. By this time I was 24. Also around this time, my periods stopped... completely. I attributed it to stress of losing my Dad. Oh, and around this time we also got our third furry baby, Leilani. We got her as a baby and I think I was trying to fill the void in my heart left by my father with her. It sounds bad, but she really helped me. She made me laugh and gave me comfort and she served a vital role during that time. Today, she is the sweetest German Shepherd ever. She can hug on command and she brings us presents and loves children.

Over the next few months, my period still didn't come. I kept PG testing thinking that a condom could have broken. But, everything came out negative. After 4 months of no period, I decided to go to the Doc. She ordered a ton of tests and told me i had PCOS. By this time, my husband and I had started wanting children, so this was really hard for me to hear, but not surprising. My mother had it too, but she had had me and my brother. So, I knew it wasn't the end of the world. She put me on Progesterone to make the periods start. Matt and I didn't want much medical intervention in conceiving so we decided to try to do it on our own.

An entire year passed. I took Ovulation tests, pregnancy tests, basal body temperatures, you name it we did it. But ALL were negative. Even the Ovulation tests, they were all inconclusive.

So, that brings us to last month. I went to the Doc and was put on Clomid. So much for our natural conception.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
August 10th, 2010, 09:47 AM
Hockey247's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,501
Send a message via AIM to Hockey247
Hi Did I miss your name somewhere?? Anyways.. I'm Sam and I'm sorry that you have also had a rough go at ttc. I know how hard it is and I really have found all the support I could ever need on this board and especially in this journal section. I'm sure you will too.

So is this your first cycle on Clomid? Are you still temping? What CD are you on?

I really do hope that your stay here is short and sweet and that you will be an immediately Clomid success story
Reply With Quote
  #5  
August 10th, 2010, 11:43 AM
Gypsy Sun's Avatar Awesome Mommy to be
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 96
It's nice to meet you Sam. My name is Tamara. I am on CD 9 today, which is the last day of the Clomid! I'm stoked. This is my first Clomid try and quite frankly the drug doesn't make me feel that great. So, I will be happy to feel normal again. I am still temping.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
August 10th, 2010, 12:38 PM
Sota's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,572
Tamara

I'm Darcy and have been working on TTC #1 for almost two years now.

I hope the Clomid works for you so you don't have to stick around here too long.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
August 11th, 2010, 12:14 AM
Jakaira s Mom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,503
I hope you catch that eggy & get your really really soon.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
August 11th, 2010, 06:12 AM
Gypsy Sun's Avatar Awesome Mommy to be
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 96
AWW! Thanks ladies!

Last night was my last Clomid dose. Today I feel tired and kind of run down. I think the last few days of feeling like dookie finally caught up with me. No one understands how exhausting it is to pretend like you are fine. But inside you just want to curl up and cry into a pillow for days, because you feel so crappy. But, I guess that is just another thing that gets me ready for how bad I might feel during pregnancy.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
August 11th, 2010, 09:41 AM
~Momma*2011~'s Avatar I love my little girl!!
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,765
Hi Tamara....Welcome to the boards/journals, I'm Jacklyn. so sorry that your TTC journey has been rough but you have come to a place were you get lots of support. I really do hope that you get your bfp soon!!! You really do deserve it
__________________
Jacky - Mommy to Caylyn (12/17/11) and Carter (10/8/13)




Reply With Quote
  #10  
August 11th, 2010, 07:47 PM
Hockey247's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 3,501
Send a message via AIM to Hockey247
Duh.. it says Tamara right in your journal name. I am such a ditz at times-- but hey we are cycle buds. I'm sorry the Clomid is treating you badly but hopefully this leads you straight to a BFP.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
August 12th, 2010, 08:59 AM
Gypsy Sun's Avatar Awesome Mommy to be
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 96
okay, I think I am having hot flashes. I haven't ever had them before, but if this is what they are, then they suck! I woke up a couple times last night with my face hot and I was sweating everywhere. It lasts for about a minute, then it stops and I am fine. It is SO bizarre.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
August 30th, 2010, 12:54 PM
Gypsy Sun's Avatar Awesome Mommy to be
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 96
well, Here we are... CD29. No AF. Not sure why. I have taken 1 round of Clomid, CD 5-9 earlier this cycle and I believe I ovulated.

Before Clomid, my cycles were 23 days. Going 29 days is strange. I am not really complaining because having 2 AF's a month is brutal. But, I can't help wondering what this long cycle means. I have been experiencing nearly ALL of the pregnancy symptoms, but I have heard that clomid makes you feel pregnant... so I don't know what to think and I am afraid of getting my hopes up. I took a pregnancy test this morning and it was I was SO sure it was going to be + and when it wasn't, it kind of crushed me.

So, here I am. Wondering what is going on. AF is late, I'm hoping the Clomid worked and I am wondering when to call the doc and what she will want to do with me then, meanwhile, I am tired, achy, a little dizzy, nauseous and battling a hell of a case of indigestion whenever I eat ANYTHING!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #13  
September 1st, 2010, 08:11 AM
Gypsy Sun's Avatar Awesome Mommy to be
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 96
CD31. I took a test this morning, like I'm supposed to, and....
I am a naturally positive person. I am pretty optomistic, so I don't want to lose hope. Should I just give up on this cycle? I still haven't gotten AF yet, so I don't know what to think. I wonder if Clomid made my cycle stop completely...?
__________________
[






Created by MyFitnessPal.com -
Reply With Quote
  #14  
September 4th, 2010, 02:32 AM
Lex&angels's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: France
Posts: 3,736
I'm sorry you're having all these symptoms and no bfp
Thank you for your sweet message in my journal.

Are you charting at all? Do you know for sure you have ovulated?
I have PCOS too, but with super-long irregular cycles, so I'm not sure what it means to suddenly have a longer cycle on clomid.

__________________

Reply With Quote
  #15  
September 4th, 2010, 03:11 AM
PinkCloud's Avatar It's a girl!!!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 2,745
Hi Tamara! Sorry about your BFN Looks like you and I are pretty close cycle wise. I am CD 4 right now. Can't wait to use my OPKs this month.

That's so sad about your puppy biting through the electrical cord! I am a huge animal lover - DH and I have two dogs. Our boxer was a huge handful when he was a puppy (he still is at 2 yo!). He had C-Diff when we brought him home, which was gross.

I hope you get your BFP really soon!!!!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #16  
September 4th, 2010, 08:41 AM
Sota's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,572
Hi Tamara & welcome.

I know when I was on Clomid it always made my cycle longer (and those yucky hot flashes too!), but I have my fingers crossed that you just aren't going to get AF because you have a BFP on its way.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
September 13th, 2010, 04:16 PM
Gypsy Sun's Avatar Awesome Mommy to be
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 96
So, here I am on 'cycle day 43'. I quote that because I think my cycle has just stopped. It did that over a year ago and I had to go on progesterone to make it work again. So, the doc said that I probably am not pregnant if I am not testing a :BFP: right now. So, I will be going back on Progesterone tonight. I hate it. I thought the Clomid would do the work of the progesterone and then some. But, apparently not. These last few days I have just felt so sad and like such a failure. I was so happy last week and the week before. I thought one round of Clomid had done it for me. Now, it really isn't looking that way.

Last night, I lay in bed and all I could think of were 'what if's. What if I NEVER ovulate? What if I have to take a **** pill to bleed for the rest of my life? What if I NEVER see two pink lines?

I am just so mad that my body is not working like it's supposed to. Meanwhile, the ladies who were getting pregnant when my husband and I were trying, are now having first birthday parties for their babies. Then, there are the birth announcements and the videos that everyone keeps posting. I'm just sick of it!

As much as I am happy for everyone on here who gets their bfp, I am even annoyed with their pictures. They ask if we can see the second pink line... yes, we can see the pink line and I feel all the resentment. I am not really mad at them and I'm not really jealous. I think everyone here deserves a baby. I just feel sorry for me!
__________________
[






Created by MyFitnessPal.com -
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:28 AM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0