[rmarie9509]

Hi girls,

I've been on the boards for a while just getting comfortable and I think it's about time to start a journal. Hopefully I will be good about keeping it up.

For any of you that don't know, my name is Becky (23) and DH Derek is (24). We have been TTC for about a year but I have just started getting really involved in all of it since August. I guess right now I'm just at a tough point where I realize that it's not going to just happen, but I havent truly accepted that yet so Im getting frustrated and upset.

My fertility history is that I have always had irregular cycles going up to 4 months at a time w/o AF. I went on BC when I was 15 to try and regulate but it made me very sick so after trying different things and finally failing miserably with the nuva ring at 19 I was done and just let my cycles go. However this May my cycles seemed to get somewhat regular, with AF coming every month although still with varrying cycle lengths. And I also started getting PMS symptoms which I never had beofre. Unfortunately they mimic pregnancy symptoms and get my hope up every month haha. In August I saw a new gyn and she ordered bloodwork which they said came back normal although we never went over it together. Then I skipped september and had a 1 day AF in october and since then I have been experiencing sharp pain and bloating, unusual spotting and weird temps. Multiple HPTs are negative. I was scheduled for an ultrasound tomorrow to see if there is anything to see such as a cyst or endometriosis perhaps, but I have to reschedule now because my car broke down and DH has to be at school 12-9. So its probably going to be at least another week until I can get that done. Whew that was a lot of info feel free to be overwhelmed I know I am.

The rest of my life consists of working as an infant teacher at a daycare, being a momma to our 3 furbabies and supporting DH as he begins ministry as a pastor, youth leader, and seminary student. I love to read, camp, spend time with family, and try to make babies!

So again I hope to be able to keep up with this and all of your ladies journals as well. Thanks for all the support you've given me so far and all that which is still to come

[Im.Nayomi]

Congrats on starting a journal, I am Nayomi. I hope you get your
very soon!!!

[kelbert]

Hello Becky! Good to see you here! I just recently started a journal too. I love having somewhere to put my thoughts.

Keep your hopes up! I hope something happens for you soon and you can get some answers.

We have 3 furbabies as well... what do you have??

[rmarie9509]

Kelli- I have 2 dogs and a cat the dogs are both different spaniel mixes.

So today I had to cancel my ultrasound I really hope I can get a new car soon but DH has school till late so not today. Maybe tomorrow evening but probably not. I'm not sure what we should get. We are only paying cash and we have about 4,000 so Im looking at neons, cavaliers, outbacks, Jettas, and Sentras from 00-04. Of course every review is like I hate this car so I dont really even have a good idea of which car is the best. The focus, Jetta, and Outback have the best saftey ratings, The outback doesnt have the latch system for car seats (which I hope to be an improtant factor) But it has AWD and great snow reliablity and I HATE driving in the snow so Im kind of leaning toward that, but we will have to get an 00 at most probably with 100k+ on it to afford it and then I don't know how well it would hold up. So then maybe I would get the focus cause fords have always been pretty good to us and they have pretty good safety ratings and they have the latch system and we can get one newer with less miles for the same price, but no AWD. UGH I hate trying to buy new cars, its like trying to buy new jeans they never fit perfectly! And that was all really OT, oh well.

Today FF says Im 6 DPO I think I might be more like 10 or 11 DPO because 97.1 seems to be my trigger temp for O in the next couple days. Either way my temps look good now, but in my heart o wherever it is you feel these things Im just not feeling this month, I guess because of all the weirdness that was going on earlier.

Mondays are my day off the rest of the week I work 10 hour days, So i hope to get some stuff done around the house, start yoga and pilates DVDs and get some reading in. Being honest I will probably hang around being lazy all day and cram all of that in from 7-9 before DH gets home just to make it look like I was productive haha.

Well I'm hungry so happy monday everyone hope you have a good day

[Hockey247]

Hi Becky!! Welcome to journals I'm Sam and DH and I have been trying to conceive for 25 cycles now

I think you will love having your own journal-- I know I would have lost my mind without a place to vent over here.

I really hope now that your cycles are regulating that your stay here will be short and sweet.

[Lex&angels]

Hi Becky I'm glad you've started a journal. Warning you, I've been TERRIBLE at keeping up with journals and especially replying. (I tend to read them on my iphone a lot and it's too much of a pain to reply)
I'm Lex, I've been trying since May 2009, got serious about it (charting, etc) in August of 2009, I've lost count of cycles since I've had so many losses and so many avoiding cycles (right now I'm not ttc, just hanging out because I love all the girls on here)...

I hope you get answers soon and that your doctor can help you. Apart from the wacky cycles do you have any PCOS symptoms? I have it, although I do ovulate, just irregularly. We sound pretty similar in that regard, it took me awhile to find a doctor who saw it for what it was (it's not always a straightforward diagnosis). Could be something else though. I hope you get to the bottom of this soon.

[~*Jackie*~]

Hi Becky!! I'm glad to see you have started a journal!! I agree with Sam- it means the world to have some place to vent where you are covered in support as well!

I hope you get some answers soon and good luck with the car search!!

[DaniM0820]

Hi Becky! I saw your response on my journal and just wanted to return the greeting

Sorry about your car issues. DH was without a car for a long time, but luckily his work is only 10 mins away and able to get to by bus whereas I work in a different state. But I know how difficult it is to need a reliable car but not have the funds for it. Good luck finding something you need and that lasts!!

[rmarie9509]

Lex- I have had a "maybe" diagnosis of PCOS but my bloodwork supposedly came back normal, and a sonogram shows multiple follicles that could indicate PCOS but not certain. So yeah no straight answers, gotta love that.

So since Monday's my day off, it's also my day to cook dinner. And let me tell you my calling in life is to be a housewife. I hate going to work. All I want to do is have babies and cook and be home when my man gets home with dinner on the table....But(theres always a but) I SUCK at my calling! Who sucks at their calling seriously? I cant cook, at all. Everytime all I have to do is follow the recipe and it's a complete disaster every time. Tonight I was supposed to be making beef pot pie and I ended up with enough filling for 2 pies and the finished product was like beef soup with chewy dough I also hate to clean and laundry is like my worst nightmare, which isnt even to mention the obvious....I CANT HAVE BABIES! [sigh] Oh well, I will not give up. Jonah didnt think he could do his calling either but he managed to do so even after survivng the belly of the whale. So I'm sure that in the end this whale will spit me out and I will be one amazing housewife!

In other news...my boobs hurt...really bad
And oh yeah I also didnt do my pilates dvd OOPS

[LiveLoveLaugh]

hey becky! welcome to journalling

im sorry to hear that you have a 'maybe' diagnosis...thats gotta be more confusing and frustrating than actually getting the diagnosis!! did they say if theres any other tests they can do???

dont get down on yourself about the housewife thing! practice makes perfect it will definately fall into place and you will be one amazing housewife and mommy all at the same time

[rmarie9509]

Just wanted to say I probably won't be on much this week DH and I have meetings and dinner with his mom and a halloween party for this kids in our youth group! So I will hardly be home. Ill miss everyone though and hopefully I will have time to just check in if not write.

Today work was crazy, maybe it was the change in weather, but the babies were all very cranky and loud I honestly dont think I've ever been so glad for the day to end. I also had a backache and sore boobies as usual during my 2WW.

I still have the pain I've been experiencing as well, today was especially bad as I could feel it with every step. It's so frustrating not knowing what it is.

If everything goes well I should be getting my new car on saturday. It's an '03 red ford focus hatchback! The dealer just got it from auction and it had a few issues that need taken care of, so we paid the deposit and they will have it in the shop the next couple days. If theres anything they can't get taken care of we will get our deposit back, but I'm just hoping it all works out. Having only one car is so hard. It has a 5 star front crash rating which is nice. Only a 3 star side but thats average, and its a 4 star for the back seat. And it has the latch system, this is the first car I've had that is car seat ready so I really hope that I can put it to good use soon!

Well Im beat from my crazy day at work so I hope you all have a good week if I dont get to talk to you much.

[DexysMidnight]

congrats on the car! I hope the shop gets it in working order soon for you! Hope you have a good albeit crazy week

[kelbert]

Becky, I totally missed your reply about the dogs. Spaniels are cute.. I bet your mixes are adorable. You should add their pics to the "furbabies" thread. You might have to do some digging but its on here somewhere!

Yay on the car! Hope it all works out. We bought my mother in law a ford focus.. can't remember the year.. maybe on 02? And she likes it. I drove it before and it has some pep!

I missed my calling as well, so don't feel too bad. I never fold laundry.. it gets stuffed in drawers and left in baskets. And I HATE to cook. My DH's mom cooked all the time... so he thought I should. He learned real quick I wasn't his mom!

[HappyRRT]

Hi Becky ! I'm Christy (27) and DH and I are on our second cycle TTC. I think you'll find the girls here are wonderful & supportive! It's a great place to ask for advice and chat with people who understand what you're going through. I hope your doctor's appointment will you give some insight as to what's going on. I look forward to reading your journal!

[rmarie9509]

FF moved my CH's back again to CD 19 now which makes absolutely no sense because my cervix had been shut down for like a week at that point and my normal 2ww symptoms had already started as well. I am getting unhappy with them.

[Hockey247]

Hmmm not entirely sure I agree with FF either. I have had to override FF the last two months and I would probably override if I were you too.

There is nothing like FF making the 2WW even longer

BTW- LOVE your siggy. It's gorgeous!!!

[jenisuzy]

Hi Becky !!
I havent visited you yet here but just wanted to say hello Im Jen, my DH & I have been TTC for about 2 1/2 yrs .... we also have furbabies, 2 greyhounds (rescued) that I love, spoil-rotten and absolutely adore !!! Im not a great cook either but I try and with more and more practice it has come along a little bit better. I am definitely a recipe-follower where DH can just throw stuff in a pan and call it a meal (which is rare that I let him in the kitchen). You'll have to post a pic of your new car that you'll get on Saturday, that sounds super sweet !!! Nice to meet ya !!!

[DexysMidnight]

Hi there! I forgot to introduce my self.. I'm Eileen, and just started actively ttc. btw your siggy is beautiful!! I am usually the cook around our house, but it's never anything elaborate. My specialties are pasta, and sloppy joes DH really like to experiment with cooking (with some tasty results) but he works too much to cook everynight.

[rmarie9509]

Thanks for all the compliments on my siggy although I cant really take the credit it was done by jaidynsmum.

Jen and Eileen nice to meet you. I will def post a picture if I get the car saturday.

Sam do you think I should override FF and put in my own CH's? Where would you put them?

I don't want to get my hopes up at all, but I can't help obsessing over my symptoms every 2WW and this time It's a little different so I'm going to give in and obsess about them.

1. My Boobs really hurt. They are usually tender and particularly so for a day or 2 but I am going on day 4 of really really sore like dont run down the stairs even while wearing a sports bra.

2. I cant stand broccoli. I have never been off a food before during the 2WW and the last 2 days we have had broccocli at work for lunch and I can't even look at it.

3. I have been peeing more, but this is a typical one for the 2WW.

4. My temps are higher than last cycle and I had a really big spike.

5. My cervix has stayed high but I've never checked cervix before so im not sure this is normal or not but I did read that a high soft closed can be a pregnancy sign.

So now I get to keep obsessing over all this for a while, and I refuse to POAS until at least Nov. 10 unless something really changes. (yeah that's gonna work)

[Hockey247]

Those symptoms sound fantastic!! I have everything crossed for you-- it sounds so promising!!When are you testing?