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Daneeleigh's TTC Journal


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  #21  
April 7th, 2011, 07:21 AM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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As far as we knew, there was no MFI issues, just issues from my endo. But I was going through all kinds of treatments all the time and I was having a lot of problems with ovulation then from it. So hopefully my endo won't be an issue this time.

And I do get to see all their traits like that. One of my favorites has a lot of traits similar to mine. He's in the military, very athletic, he has a degree (which I'm working towards), we actually like the same music, we like the same movies, personality traits pretty much describe me to a T. I was pretty surprised. The others I have picked out I like their descriptions as well and background info. All that I have chosen are very career oriented people who set goals and are either in the process of reaching them or have already done so. If the person couldn't write a good description of themselves then I didn't consider them. This process is too serious to me to not have someone take this seriously as well. The lady at the "bank" assured me though all the donors go through a serious screening process and not just anyone can just walk off the street and become a donor. They actually aren't even accepting donors anymore right now because they don't need anymore.
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  #22  
April 7th, 2011, 11:05 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by daneeleigh View Post
As far as we knew, there was no MFI issues, just issues from my endo. But I was going through all kinds of treatments all the time and I was having a lot of problems with ovulation then from it. So hopefully my endo won't be an issue this time.

And I do get to see all their traits like that. One of my favorites has a lot of traits similar to mine. He's in the military, very athletic, he has a degree (which I'm working towards), we actually like the same music, we like the same movies, personality traits pretty much describe me to a T. I was pretty surprised. The others I have picked out I like their descriptions as well and background info. All that I have chosen are very career oriented people who set goals and are either in the process of reaching them or have already done so. If the person couldn't write a good description of themselves then I didn't consider them. This process is too serious to me to not have someone take this seriously as well. The lady at the "bank" assured me though all the donors go through a serious screening process and not just anyone can just walk off the street and become a donor. They actually aren't even accepting donors anymore right now because they don't need anymore.
OK this is totally a great lifetime movie plot: girl gets donor IUI, and then a few years later falls in love with a guy and little by little realizes that he's the biological father of her child!
I mean someone should introduce you to the guy LOL.
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  #23  
April 7th, 2011, 11:46 AM
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Haha you're too cute Lex! All I want right now is the baby, men can come later lol.
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  #24  
April 7th, 2011, 12:32 PM
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How is it going to work with your career though when you have a child? I never really thought about it before, but what happens to military single moms? They can't exactly deploy you, do they give you other jobs on base?

I know air hostesses in France aren't allowed to fly when pregnant so they have to work inside an office or an airport but NOT on flights when pregnant. (my best friend is a stewardess)
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  #25  
April 8th, 2011, 12:05 AM
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That is a very good question Lex lol. My situation is a little different than most although I will be given the same choices.

I am in a medical board because of my conditions (endo, fibro, and all the complications that come along with them). They're currently evaluating whether or not to keep me in the Navy and I won't know their decision for several more months. I've been waiting for this for over a year now, I'm ready for them to be done with it so I know which way to plan my life.

Now if I become a single pregnant woman in the military, I have the option to stay in or get out. If a person chooses to stay in, they have to fill out a family care plan. This basically states who is to take care of the child when the parent is called into work on duty at any time or on deployment. Couples who are dual military would have a difficult choice with this as well. They luck out if family lives near by or pray that one of them can always just be with the kid.

I would obviously choose to get out. I have no family within 2000 miles of me. Plus, my mother really wants to be near her grandchild and I want this as well so I want to be near my family when I have a kid. I couldn't bear to be separated from my child for up to a year. Not only deployments do this but some overseas duty stations don't allow you to take your child as well. I believe once you hit around 20 weeks in your pregnancy they start out processing you if you choose this option. I want to be at home as well to give birth. The good thing is my insurance would cover the birth plus six weeks post partum for me and the baby.

I have several plans for what I want to do if I move home. I won't be making in finite ones though until I actually get pregnant. All of this is just wishful thinking, I have to actually get the BFP first lol.
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  #26  
April 11th, 2011, 04:07 AM
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My temps look like a big hunk of mess.................... Ugh............................

And I have a rant for my morning post once I wake up. Granted most of you already are but because I work nights my sleeping patterns are just completely whacked lol.

My opks were way to dark way to early in the month and now they're going all crappy light on me! No no no! They can't do crap like that to me.
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  #27  
April 13th, 2011, 01:19 AM
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I Attract Disasters!!!!!!!!
(And write small novels lol)

I can definitely feel my body starting to gear up to O. The back pain is starting to kick in. My fibro hates O time lol. Some EWCM, not as much as I would like to see but hopefully more to come in the next few days. My OPKs still suck, they went from really dark in the beginning of the month to nothing to now they're slowly starting to turn middle color again. Not "dark" yet but hopefully tomorrow.

My appt is tomorrow and it's going to take everything I have not to cry from being hormonal and happy. I wish my mommy
was here, I'm such a big baby right now lol. I'm usually a very strong person but I think I'm just losing it these days.

Work stress, social stress, friends stress, and this stress has me completely numb. I cry at the drop of the hat and that is NOT me, I'm very strong, never had a problem telling someone to F off. But with everything that's happened this weekend plus the whole Ryan breakup still lingering in my head, it all came to a head last night and I made an idiot out of myself by sobbing in front of a guy I barely know when I should have been punching him and telling him to F off. I had to call my mom at 5:30 am after getting no sleep so she could calm me down so I could finally sleep.

I know that story doesn't make much sense and maybe one day I'll get into what happened that night. Basically I was just trying to protect a girl and I got called a **** block. The guy I was there with did not protect me. I was disrespected and so was she. I was just trying to be a good gf since I have none.

Anyways, so now onto more MEN MEN MEN drama. One of them is listed in the previous lil rant. I don't know if anyone of yall ever here of me mentioning my friend from back home named Tim. We dated when I was 18 and he's actually who I miscarried with. Not
that he knew. I didn't have the power to tell him for a while later. It was an ugly break up and I found out after we were done. Flash forward, we become friends and have stayed friends in our own twisted way ever since. We've always joked that we should just get married lol but I had finally gotten passed him and I was done. We are just friends. Although my mom still talks to him and I visit his family when I'm home. We're very close. And his daughter still loves me. He knows all about my medical issues and stuff so I confided in him about what I'm doing this week. He flipped. He kept saying it was supposed to be our baby and yada yada. He's even trying to get my mom to take him to the clinic near them to ship his sperm out here. He's losing it lol. He's too late. He's had five years to do something. I wanted to start something with him last year but he said it wasn't the time. We'll, it's not the time for me. Sorry, too late. If it's meant to be, he'll accept me and my baby one day just as I have to accept his daughter.

Now Man #3. This guy at work has been chasing me for awhile. He's a very sweet nice guy. I had given him my phone number finally one night then never heard from him. Didn't think to much about it cause I met Ryan-the ex- that weekend. Turns out he lost my number. So that explains that lol. We've continued to stay close. As soon as he found out me and Ryan were done you could see the change in him. Finally last night, he asked me if we hang out some time. I denied him by using the excuse that we work together and I just need to think about how to handle that. Well, after talking to one of the guys he works with that I know won't say anything and that I already know Brian confides in him about me, maybe I will go hang out with him. He is a great guy. Maybe I need to try a nice one every now and then. I'm always going for the jerks and douches it seems. Maybe a nice one every now and then can't kill you. Plus his daughter is absolutely beautiful! No harm in trying so we shall see.

My dilemma is being a single ttc woman that dates lol. How to you answer that question. What happens after you've been hanging out for awhile and boom your pregnant and have to explain A) it's not yours B) I haven't been running around on you like a **** either, hell I got receipts to prove it C) Speaking of the receipts, my baby was blessed to be here from a donor I selected.

I can just see that conversation crashing and burning!!!!!!!!!


Idk, do I tell him upfront or do I just wait and see if I get pregnant and then have the talk? What happens if we ooops around my O date and IUI time? That would not be a situation I would want to be in. Whose the daddy????? I guess I'll just plan to not have sex around certain dates? That's the fullest proof answer I've got.
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  #28  
April 13th, 2011, 04:14 PM
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I had my appt today and it was absolutely 100% amazing!!!! It was my consultation and selection of the donor. I think I was there for almost an hour, my doctor is awesome and he put me completely at ease about the whole process and how the donors are selected.

So first things first, I had brought a list of donors that I thought would be a good match for me. Plus I had brought a baby picture and a toddler picture of myself since I'm allowed to see baby and toddler pictures of the donors. Luckily, my doctor knows all the donors personally and immediately knew who would be good match for me. He looked at my list and looked at my pictures and started eliminating donors from my list based off of what their appearances were. This got me hopeful right then and there that I was in the right place. He told me he actually knew of two donors that were not on my list that he thought would be perfect for me. He went and got his Ipad and when he came back I saw it had an LSU cover on it and I was in love with this place lol. I started laughing and told him I was from Louisiana as well and we conversed a little about that. He then showed me the first donor. I saw his picture and told him he does not look like my brother which is what I was hoping for but he does favor some of my cousins when they were little. I was really hoping to see a baby picture that looked like my brother to have as a comparison so that I knew the child would look like me and my family. My brother and I look like twins now just not as children. He then showed me the second donor and I immediately said," OMG that's my brother!!!" I was overwhelmed at the similarities. Blonde hair blue eyed babies and toddler pictures, it was just my brother in every way even down to the smile. I had red hair as a kid for some reason so I'm not a good one to go off of lol. We both ended up with really light brown hair which I darken. I was like THIS IS THE ONE!!! I checked his profile, saw his family background and details, likes, he was actually in the Navy as well and is now in college, he's the same size as most males in my family. Everything was just perfect. I'm very excited, happy, and most of all completely comfortable and satisfied with my choice.

My opks are almost there! My wondfo Opk just turned positive but my digi is still negative so now I'm confused. My doctor told me if I get a positive tonight, call his cell and we will do the IUI tomorrow morning. But if I don't get a positive on the digi ever I'm not sure what to do?? Do I wait or just not go with the digi?
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  #29  
April 13th, 2011, 06:06 PM
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Yahoo!!! So glad your visit went so well and that you found the perfect donor!!!

Come on + opk...I hope that shows up soon

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  #30  
April 13th, 2011, 09:04 PM
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I'm glad your appt went well and you got to pick someone!! Regarding the dating issue, that is a really hard one. I think, to be fair, I would tell them about the process if it looked like the guy wanted to get serious and if you were also seriously interested. Or if I didn't want to tell anyone I would keep things casual with the guy at first. But that's just me I don't expect everyone to agree with me. I wanted to write more but it's so late I have to get going!
good night!
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Last edited by Servilia; April 13th, 2011 at 09:06 PM.
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  #31  
April 14th, 2011, 07:31 AM
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I think after taking a step back from the situation, I have more of an idea of what I want out of everything. I still am not sure about how to go about it though. I definitely do NOT want anything serious right now. I'm just not in that place. I have too much going on career wise and a possible move in the future, it would be the wrong time to start something serious. I do like having a companion though and I don't like locking myself up in my house which I did after my divorce. I'm not however out looking for someone, definitely not lol. I recognize as a ttc female that I just don't think that's where I need to be in life, out on the prowl for men . But these two I've known for years and one is my best friend but he lives back home. The other is here and I work with him and have known him for awhile. My best friend obviously already knows about this but I'm just not sure if I start seeing the work friend outside of work to tell him about this or not. That's the dilemma... I think that's the best way to describe my situation.

Anyways. My IUI is in a two hours and I'm doing everything to distract myself!!!! This TWW is going to drive me crazy I know!!!!
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  #32  
April 14th, 2011, 07:47 AM
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ooooh good luck today!
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  #33  
April 14th, 2011, 07:50 AM
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Thank you!!! I think I'm going to be crying the whole way home lol that I'm finally at this point and I'm sooo excited. Even if it doesn't happen this month I'm just excited to be here at this point in my life and trying.
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  #34  
April 14th, 2011, 08:05 AM
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Woo hoo good luck!!! I'm so excited for you!!!
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  #35  
April 14th, 2011, 02:12 PM
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I've been lurking your journal from grads and just wanted to say good luck! I hope you get a bfp at the end of this 2ww. I think what you're doing is great and I've been [silently] cheering for you!
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  #36  
April 14th, 2011, 06:36 PM
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Thank you! I'm hoping to get it in one shot this time around but not naive enough lol.
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  #37  
April 17th, 2011, 07:34 PM
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Got my CH's today. Yay for those. Looks like I might have timed this as best as I could. I figured Oing and putting the spermies right in at the same time has to be the best combo right? Well see, I know everything can go right and this still could fail so all my eggs are not in one basket. And I was so scattered brained at work today I did everything wrong. When I did turnover with the next guy, he was laughing at all the mistakes I made lol. Luckily we all like each at work and cover for each other for the most part. Between lack of focus and scribbling baby names on a piece of paper, I didn't get much done, and what I did do I messed up lol. O well, I did get baby names somewhat picked out lol. Totally jumping the gun here!
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  #38  
April 18th, 2011, 04:21 AM
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Hooray for crosshairs!

And I wouldn't say picking baby names is jumping the gun--DH and I have 6 names already picked out for kids (3 of each gender)
I really hope IUI works for you the first time around! You would be due in early January, correct?
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  #39  
April 18th, 2011, 07:18 AM
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Yes, I would be due in the beginning of January. Which my family has a ton of January bdays, poor thing would probably end up sharing a bday with someone lol. I have the ONLY April bday in my family so it's kind of neat.

I have about 6 Girl names and 1 boy name lol. If it's a boy, there's no discussion about it, he's just set with the name.
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  #40  
April 18th, 2011, 08:11 AM
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Have to ask, what names do you have picked out? I am so glad you decided to make this journal. I remember you a while ago thinking about doing sperm donation and I'm glad you finally decided it was right for you. Woo I hope first iui works!
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