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Naomi's TTC Journal


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  #1  
June 26th, 2011, 05:45 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 104
Greetings!
Hello everyone! My name is Naomi, I'm 33 years old, my partner Matthew is 36 years and we have been together for 13 years now. We would eventually like to get married someday, but we are not in a rush until I'm finished with school plan. We currently live in Lompoc CA, but are primarily from Santa Barbara County.

We have been trying for our first baby since the beginning of 2007. After charting at Fertility Friend for a year and a half I became pregnant in my Oct. 2008 cycle (my cycle day 1 was my birthday!) I actually got my BFP in Nov 2008.

Unfortunately it was at my first doctor visit in Jan 2009 (dr was booked up until christmas) when he did an ultrasound we discovered there was no heartbeat. Stopped growing at 7 weeks.
Dr. checked my HCG levels to make sure they went down, and they did but very slowly.
Dr. advised me to have a D&C in Feb. 2009. After my levels returned to normal I decided to back to school (college) full time and took a break from charting and TTC as what had happened stressed me out and discouraged me to say the least. But I regret stopping TTC as I could of been trying after the D&C and maybe had success. But my mental state was complete fear or m/c happening all over again, so I waited a year. Oh well. I can't beat myself up too much, I'm trying to not riddle myself with guilt anymore. Anyway I am trying again as of this year 2011. I asked the dr, when I should try other options, he said after I have either 3 miscarriages or after 35 with no bfp in sight.

It seems like everyone can get pregant in my family except me. I'm the oldest child of three.
My mom had her tubes tied after having my younger brother in 84' (who died in a car accident in 2004 by the way, he was only 20! RIP lil' bro!). Anyway..my mom remarried at 35 and had a tubal reversal so that her and husband could have a child together and the Dr. told her she has a 50% chance of getting pregnant after a tubal reversal. So she had the operation. But the DR. failed to test/realize my mom had keloid skin, which means her skins heals lumpy and the tube would not heal very well. So her 50% chance dropped to 10%. My mom was sad after spending 40,000 on this operation which seemed like a waste of money on only 10% chance. But lo and behold, she became pregnant at 43 years old after barely trying! Even with a tubal reversal and keloid skin and being older she was successful! What luck! My half sister is now 13, is a straight A student and very healthy and happy!
Who else? My sister who is four years younger than I has two boys when she was 19, who are 6 and 9 years now. She says things like, " I wish I never had them", this makes me sad and irritated, especially because her boys constantly fight and she calls them brats. I asked the oldest nephew why he and his brother fight all the time and he said to me, "That's all we have." This made me realize they fight for attention, because their parents ignore them. I feel sorry for my nephews, they act so badly because they need attention and love that their not getting. My sister is always talking on her cell phone and their father is always yelling at them. When I try to give her advice she says things like, " Well you don't understand, you don't have any kids." It hurts, life is so backwards.
A long time ago, when I was 19 I unknowingly became pregnant with my first boyfriend, and we were both partying all the time and he was not sticking around so I opted for an abortion. I hope no one judges me for it and I would never have one again.
But remember though that right before I got pregnant that time I had been receiving rounds of acupuncture for health issues. Perhaps it was the acupuncture that did it..so I'm thinking that I might try the acupuncture again, and with pree seed (which I have not tried yet) . I also I read a post about someone checking their BD's sperm themselves, and I think I might try that too. To see if whether or not my CM is compatible with his sperm or test the PH of my CM is good.

Well I'm sorry I ranted a little in there, but I just wanted to throw it all out there you know. I want to tell the whole story! There's so much more to tell too! But that's enough for now! I hope I can share more as I go through this journey with all of you.

Take care! BABY DUST to ALL!!!!!!
__________________
Me 35, DH 38
First began TTC- Start 2007
1st BFP Oct. 2008- M/C in Dec. 2008 - D&C in Jan. 2009
Took break for a year.
Started TTC again in May 2011- TTC for my 1st baby
BFP July 29 2013!



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  #2  
June 26th, 2011, 10:52 PM
Nayomi80's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 6,202
So happy that you started this journal. I am dropping you off some baby sticky welcome to ttc1st journaling!!!!!!!!
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  #3  
June 27th, 2011, 05:30 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Myerstown, PA
Posts: 11,181
Congrats on starting a journal! I've had one for quite some time now and have found it to be very therapeutic and cathartic. It's nice to have a place that's safe for you to prattle on about all of the TTC stuff that rattles around in your head and not feel like you're rambling to people who don't care or understand, ya know?

And I have to say... it's nice to see another 30-something around here! We're not rare... but it's safe to say we're outnumbered!

First, let me say that I am so sorry for your loss. Whilst I've personally been spared that particular brand of pain, many of my GF's (girlfriends) here have gone through that... some multiple times. So I've seen the pain it causes and hope with all my heart you never have to feel it again.

I can really relate to your story in a number of ways. My mom had no trouble having my older sister, but when they wanted me... I took 5 years to get! My sister was so fertile if you stood too close to her, she'd get a bump! She has 2 daughters and while she left a lot to be desired with her first, she's a much better mother to her 2nd.

There's another part of your journey that I can also relate to that many will probably either not mention or not share. It can feel like a very lonely shameful place, and I don't want you to feel alone. I also made the decision at a very young age to terminate a pregnancy. It was definitely the WRONG time with the absolute WRONG person who was not healthy for me by a mile.

There have been times when I've felt so guilty during the time that my DH and I have been TTC. There were moments where I thought that I was being punished or that I had missed my chance. But life isn't that way... it's taken me time to realize that. I made the best decision that I could make at the time.

It's not a warm and fuzzy topic, and when you're in a place where all everyone wants is a baby... it can be hard to talk about and even harder to come by support for those lingering feelings. I'd just like you to know there's at least ONE other TTC'er here who understands all too well and will always have an open ear and shoulder to cry on, should you need it.

I'm currently doing acupuncture and herbs myself! This is the beginning of my 3rd week and there's been a resurgence of interest in it on the board. One of my other GF's Tammy was going for acupuncture and she got her BFP. Unfortunately, she lost it... but she's just started going again and Rebecca from Ireland is going again. So there should be some good acupuncture/TCM threads on the main board in the immediate future.

I know I started feeling results from my Dr. by my 2nd treatment during the first week! I've just started my first AF since starting treatment and there are major differences in that already as well. If you think acupuncture is something that helped you in the past... I'd certainly consider trying it again.

With my age (36) I did the whole Medical Assistance thing with the tests and the Clomid and the IUI's and all that jibber and even after surgery to unblock my blocked tube and untangle the other, nothing worked for me. I slammed the brakes on the moment I heard those three little letters... IVF.

I stepped back and went all natural for a bit. Then after reading, hands down, the BEST infertility book I've come across in my 29 cycles of TTC, The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis, I made the decision to try TCM (Traditional Chinese Medicine). All of the concepts just made so much sense and resonated with me in a way that nothing else has. For the first time, I now KNOW I will get my BFP!

Whoa... I totally didn't mean to ramble on in your brand spankin' new journal! There was just so much I wanted to say and didn't realize it was gonna take that many words!

I wish you the very best of luck in your TTC journey, I hope it's MUCH shorter than mine has been... but in the meantime, I look forward to getting to know you better as you get closer and closer to that sticky BFP!

Best of Luck & Baby
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  #4  
June 27th, 2011, 02:26 PM
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Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 104
Hi Naomi80! Thanks for the journal welcome and the encouraging PM's!

Coley/Nikki!
Wow! I'm feel so blessed to have you post such a wonderful supportive message like that! Thank you for all your kind words, it MEANS A LOT!!

Yes it's hard not to be jealous of ladies who become pregnant without effort. Life is weird like that. But like many have said before..it just wasn't our time. Perhaps it just was not meant to be YET in our journey of life. There's was and still is things that we are meant to do and learn first and being pregnant was just not one of them! But I positive..our time will come!

I'm looking forward to reading your TTC journal and many others here, and getting to know all you gals better!
I was initially afraid to say all I did when I started my journal. But it was weird, after I did it was like this big weight just lifted off my chest. I want my journal to be honest, open and from the heart.

Thank you for the lovely welcomes and BFP's for all us ladies ttc'ing!
__________________
Me 35, DH 38
First began TTC- Start 2007
1st BFP Oct. 2008- M/C in Dec. 2008 - D&C in Jan. 2009
Took break for a year.
Started TTC again in May 2011- TTC for my 1st baby
BFP July 29 2013!




Last edited by Naomi77; June 28th, 2011 at 01:09 PM. Reason: grammer
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  #5  
June 28th, 2011, 02:01 PM
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Location: Santa Barbara, CA
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TTC Entry 2

Well. Let's see....today I'm on CD 35. I would of been 14 DPO, but....about five days ago my sacred crosshairs were taken away by fertility friend on 11 dpo
UGHHH..the frustration!!!
FF first said I had O'd on CD 20. Then changed it to CD 21, then back to CD 20. But then decided my temps were too funky around and kicked my awesome chart to the curb.
How could they? Saying that ovulation was not detected! I guess now according to FF I'm anovulatory this cycle. How dare them!!! Friend? Friend my....pfff!

It was a promising cycle at first too...it's disappointing to say the least.

Now, three BFN's later I'm just waiting for AF to show up. I don't even know why I tested this cycle, escpecially with my CH taken away, but I did. Call me a POAS addict. Actually, I think I am. I need to put down the test strip and step away from the bathroom!



Extra Tidbits- Animal Babies!
Ahhh Spring has ended and Summer is here, but it still feels Spring-y ya know?
And babies are popping up everywhere. It seems everyone is getting their BFP's including wildlife.
Just last week, a baby starling (fledgling) was meeping aloud in my yard. Meep meep, it cried. I guess the crows were checking him/her out and one flew down and began pecking at it's head. That's when I noticed. The mama starling flew down to protect it's baby and couldn't get the crow to stop. So I marched over and scared the crow away. The baby had some knicks aand cuts on the head but appeared to be okay for the most part. He was almost ready to fly, but couldn't just yet. I put on gloves, picked him up and put him back in the bottle brush tree. The little guy would not stay put and kept falling on to the floor. The mother left unfortunately. Four hours later and no reconnect with mama starling (even though the mother looked for the baby) she did not seem to find it.
Since it was getting dark, cold and we have many racoons, possums, cats, and crows around our neighborhood I thought I'd better move the little guy inside in a box and keep it warm. I called the wildlife rescue place we have in our area. The next morning they took the baby and will release him/her back into the same area when the starling is able to fly and healthy. I was happy he was able to be saved and will be released! Yay rescue!!!
The next day my DH and I went to the park to eat our morning coffee and scone and began to hear faint mews coming from under a rock! Sure enough... a litter of baby kittens, all alone..with no mama cat. There was 6 total, all different colors!
I called Animal control, they came and said that I could eventually adopt one when old enough. So precious they were! Animal babies everywhere!

Just thought I'd share this

Until next time...BABY DUST TO ALL!!!!!!!!!
__________________
Me 35, DH 38
First began TTC- Start 2007
1st BFP Oct. 2008- M/C in Dec. 2008 - D&C in Jan. 2009
Took break for a year.
Started TTC again in May 2011- TTC for my 1st baby
BFP July 29 2013!




Last edited by Naomi77; June 28th, 2011 at 02:03 PM.
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  #6  
July 1st, 2011, 07:49 PM
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Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 104
Entry #3

Hello my fellow JM's !

Today was awesome! Why you ask? BE......CUZZZZZZZZZ .......I got my Crosshairs back on FF this morning!!! WOO HOO!!!
So, as of today I am 3 dpo and no longer in some purgatory limbo wondering where I'm at in this journey.
As far as symptoms though, it's early, but I don't have many major symptoms as of yet, but I do have a lot of little ones. I mean
I feel like one of those walking prescription advertisements where the side effects are rattled off by some TV voice. "TTC may cause gas, bloating, cramps, headaches, heartburn, sore breasts, insomnia, bad breath, mood swings, depression, hot flashes, and just plain going nuts, even suicide or death. Please consult your doctor before trying TTC, samples are offered upon request."
Actually... maybe not the death or suicide part but sometimes after getting so many bfn's I just want to go stand out on a ledge! JK!!

Uggh. Okay though, I did get some serious heartburn. I made some spaghetti with bolganese sauce, and drank apple juice for dinner. Big mistake! Heartburn galore. What else, huge boobs! they are like inflation devices strapped to my chest.

What else, I'm so moody that if my DH speaks to me about anything other than cleaning, saving money and ttc I get angry. WTH! I'm trying to be nice but all I can focus is on the negative. What a downer I am right now, but it's the stress of waiting I think!! Either AF is making a huge comeback fairly soon or I will be blessed with "clouds open, angels sing" my bfp.
I mean I better otherwise all this moody mayhem just won't be worth it unless I do right?


Well, I hope you ladies are all hangin' in there and occupying yourselves from ttc just a little. I actually am going to TRY to make plum jam for the first time soon. This weekend I am going out to the the supplies. We have a beautiful plum tree in our yard and I don't want them to just rot away (i feel like I'm talking about my ovaries) I gotta use them up before they all go bad!!

Hopefully I won't screw it up because I really LOVE plum jam!!

Baby dust as always!!!!

Naomi
__________________
Me 35, DH 38
First began TTC- Start 2007
1st BFP Oct. 2008- M/C in Dec. 2008 - D&C in Jan. 2009
Took break for a year.
Started TTC again in May 2011- TTC for my 1st baby
BFP July 29 2013!



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  #7  
July 2nd, 2011, 04:30 AM
DaniM0820's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Pottstown, PA
Posts: 3,078
Hi Naomi, welcome to journals! My name is Dani (25) and DH is Randy (almost 23). I'm one of the co-hosts of TTC#1. Have you introduced yourself on the main board yet? We'd love to hear from you there!
I hope your stay here is short and sweet and this cycle brings you a BFP!
__________________



10/01/15 @ 8.5 weeks
11/17/15 @ 4 weeks (chemical)
1/25/16 @ 4.5 weeks
3/07/16 @ 5.5 weeks

Struggling with how much more my heart can take.
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  #8  
July 2nd, 2011, 09:58 AM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,647
I love reading your journal so far and I hope your BFP is right around the corner!

BTW, I LOVE Santa Barbara. I took a trip up there to Solvang last year for wine tasting and I fell in love with it. It's just breathtaking.
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  #9  
July 3rd, 2011, 02:47 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 104
Hi DaniM0820!
Thanks for the hello and welcome. What main board are you speaking of? The introductions or the main TTC board? I'm always so confused as to where to post as there are so many options here at JM! I'd love to join in though!

Daneeleigh-
Thank you! I am glad to know that someone is reading it and enjoys it as well! Do you have a TTC journal? I would love to check it out if you do.
Yes SB is a beautiful area, there is always so much to do and see around here. San Diego is beautiful! I've been there a few times, such great weather, similar to the SB area actually! It's funny you brought up wine tasting..I'm actually going wine tasting with an old friend from high school next week for the first time. I'm super excited. I'll be sure to make a toast for all of us here at JM!

I'm gonna try to post another entry later today...so check back!
__________________
Me 35, DH 38
First began TTC- Start 2007
1st BFP Oct. 2008- M/C in Dec. 2008 - D&C in Jan. 2009
Took break for a year.
Started TTC again in May 2011- TTC for my 1st baby
BFP July 29 2013!



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  #10  
July 3rd, 2011, 03:12 PM
DaniM0820's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Pottstown, PA
Posts: 3,078
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi77 View Post
Hi DaniM0820!
Thanks for the hello and welcome. What main board are you speaking of? The introductions or the main TTC board? I'm always so confused as to where to post as there are so many options here at JM! I'd love to join in though!
The main TTC#1 board is here:
Trying to Conceive Your First Child - JustMommies Message Boards

Like I said, we'd love to hear from you there! Can't wait to read your next entry!
__________________



10/01/15 @ 8.5 weeks
11/17/15 @ 4 weeks (chemical)
1/25/16 @ 4.5 weeks
3/07/16 @ 5.5 weeks

Struggling with how much more my heart can take.
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  #11  
July 4th, 2011, 09:49 AM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,647
We had so much fun wine tasting up there and were definitely buzzed by the end of the day lol.

I actually just got my BFP a few weeks ago so I moved my journal over to the grads. I find out on Thursday though if I'm moving back to the main forum or not since I'll have an ultrasound to tell me what's up with this spotting I'm having.

But definitely come join us on the main board, Dani gave you the link. The ladies here are very wise when it comes to ttc and I still learn stuff all the time from them just watching their cycles.
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  #12  
July 4th, 2011, 10:51 PM
MandyRS's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 2,658
Hey Naomi, welcome! I don't frequent the JM boards much anymore, but I wanted to say hello and I hope your stay in TTC#1 is short and sweet.

I noticed you ovulate pretty late in your cycle (like me)...have you asked your doctor about Clomid?? It's super cheap ($4 at Walmart) and could be just the boost you need to get a strong, earlier ovulation and a BFP!! Just a thought.

Good luck to you on your journey!
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IT'S A BOY!!!!



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  #13  
July 4th, 2011, 10:59 PM
MandyRS's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Mississippi
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Oh yeah, because P.S, THIS:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi77 View Post
I asked the dr, when I should try other options, he said after I have either 3 miscarriages or after 35 with no bfp in sight.
is ABSOLUTE bull hockey. I suggest ditching this doc for someone living in 2011 immediately!! Doctors this apathetic really get my blood boiling! You do not nor should you have to live with that kind of disregard to your health and family planning wishes.
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IT'S A BOY!!!!



THANK YOU to *Sharon* for my perfect siggy.
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  #14  
July 6th, 2011, 11:11 AM
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Location: Santa Barbara, CA
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Hi- Mandydt!
Thanks for the welcome and reply. I do ovulate really late. It's pretty annoying.. as far as the wait is concerned. My average cycle is about 34-38 day cycle.

Could you please elaborate on the dr comment! I'm curious as to what a good doctor would or should say in regards to ttc without success. Because I agree..I certainly don't want to have to suffer three miscarriages before having to try new options or waiting several more years!

Well..maybe I'll discuss this subject more in my entry, among other things on my mind. There's so much to blab about and not enough time!!!
__________________
Me 35, DH 38
First began TTC- Start 2007
1st BFP Oct. 2008- M/C in Dec. 2008 - D&C in Jan. 2009
Took break for a year.
Started TTC again in May 2011- TTC for my 1st baby
BFP July 29 2013!



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  #15  
July 6th, 2011, 03:11 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 104
Entry #4

To Drink or Not to Drink: That is the Question


Why is it that every time I bring an alcoholic beverage within inches of my lips I feel like I'm about to sabotage my opportunity to conceive? It's awful. It's like this continous wave of guilt that washes over me every time. Even just pondering it.
I have been thinking about the subject of drinking lately because next week I am supposed to go wine tasting (as you know)and the subject came up again on this past Fourth of July weekend.
The thing is...I like to have a drink every once in a great while (about once a month or only on special occasions.) BUT I am not the party girl type...those days are long gone. They went out along with my bad hair (think poodle perm), lame boyfriend, and awful outfits (that includes tiger print spandex hot pants with black military combat boots).

As it stands presently though, I have to have a semi good reason to drink now. I will not drink for no good reason or just because it's there. I'm usually a social drinker or an occasional drinker. You know the type... that only drinks at barb-b-ques, weddings, holidays and social events. And when I do in fact "cut loose" or decompress with a drink there's always this underlying fear or paranoia that sets in. It feel like I'm not doing every little possible thing in my power that I can to conceive if I do...basically that I am screwing up by enjoying myself, as seldom as it may be.

For instance... if it's CD10-CD15 I can not have a drink because it's too close to ovulation time and that it might offset or ruin my chance of ovulating. And if it's after I've ovulated then it's not a good time either. When ever the opportunity does present itself this little voice in my head says, "Uh hello! What do you think your doing? Do you know that your are possibly destroying your one chance of becoming a mother.. you... you selfish woman you!". But there's the other voice. You know the one. That says, "Wha? Are you kidding me! Your crazy! Stop all this nonsense, your being a complete and utter worry wart. Women have been drinking since the Stone Ages. Even in modern times women drink once in a while and conceive with no problems. Stop your paranoia, relax, drink your beer, eat your dinner and enjoy without guilt. Geez!"

This is a struggle that I have with myself every now and then. A few months ago I made the decision to ttc again..so now I wonder what the majority thinks Will women who are ttc think I'm horrible! Has this subject already been established? Is it a battle of good and evil? Right and wrong? No one has the correct answer entirely.... It's seems that it's not even a topic that doctors can agree on.
Most people differ on this issue. Wine they say is good..then it's not. Beer is okay...whoops, it's bad, well they say..were just not sure." Then they next report is contrary to the next. Hmmm..which is it? I guess when it comes down to it it's up to the woman ttc. And that's where my problem comes in. I guess I feel I need someone to tell me the way it is. To actually say whether or not it okay to go wine tasting next week. Maybe it's not about good or bad thing. But unfortunately for me I need to decide because I've have been sitting on the same broken fence with an empty glass in hand for a while now watching my DH from a far sip his frothy beer in the hot days sun without a care in the world, and frankly this fence is starting to give me a wedgie.

DH even wonders and questions my sobriety. "How come you don't have ever drink any more". "No, I don't want one", I tell him sternly when actually I do sometimes. or I'll say "Only when I'm on my period, it's bad for my conception otherwise". But is it bad I wonder to myself? And I hate drinking while on my period it's not fun for me, I'm too effected by the alcohol than I'd like to be when I menstruate.

So basically like I said I stopped drinking all together. I was fine with it...that is until Jenny called. Jenny is my best friend who lives in Seattle, W.A. She called me up last week. "Aren't you excited", she squealed over the phone. "About what?", I ask clueless. " You mean you don't remember!" she says. Silence. "Wine tasting!", she shouts with excitement. "oh yeah, that", I reply with uneasiness. "Your'e going right?", she inquires. "uh yeah. Of course." I say. Now she doesn't know about my ttc. I have told anyone yet due to last m/c. You guys are the only ones who know.

Frankly I just don't know what to do anymore. I'm sure every woman ttcing makes this choice. For some it's an easy one, a no brainer and for others it's not. Well for me, it's confusing with all the reports and I do want to go wine tasting. But I also want a baby...something to think out I guess...can I do both? What do you think?


Baby dust to all!

Naomi

Next Topic: Irritation and Mood Swings
__________________
Me 35, DH 38
First began TTC- Start 2007
1st BFP Oct. 2008- M/C in Dec. 2008 - D&C in Jan. 2009
Took break for a year.
Started TTC again in May 2011- TTC for my 1st baby
BFP July 29 2013!



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  #16  
July 6th, 2011, 03:28 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 104
Entry #5

Today I wrote a long rant about drinking alcohol when you are trying to conceive. Unfortunately, this post has not shown up in the thread yet ...BTW if I was pregnant I would never drink any alcohol whatsoever! No question. But ttc is a different thing, so I felt I should address it. Maybe it because it's controversial topic? I don't know why #4 is missing. But it was a long post! I hope I did not write it for nothing.

In the meantime..MY SYMPTOMS:

My temperature is rising, so maybe something is happening!

But I'm 8 dpo, and at this point all I am really having is sore nipples. Not the entire boob. Just the nipples. Weird.

As of today I have turned in to a mega bitc*. DH asked me if I needed anything while I was making a sandwich. I felt like he was bothering me even though he was only asking if I needed help. It's strange, how crabby I am!
So what if I just want to google "8 dpo with bfp" for inspiration and gaze in awe at FF charts that end in pregnancy all day. I can obsess on them if I want. Going overboard? A little. But hey, it's helps me deal, ya know?
Today DH says, "why don't you lay on the bed with me", I did not say anything back. (well... I was fully engrossed in reading posts on JM!) He then says, "your vagina charts are more important than I am", he must of been slightly joking because he smiled when he said it. "I can look a ff "vagina" charts till I'm blue in the face!", I said. "It helps me with my stress!" At least I think it does!
I have been hot and tired. That's it so far as far as symptoms. I went to the 99 cents store and bought four hpt tests. Not going to test yet. Not until at least 11 dpo, or maybe 10 dpo! But boy do I want to test.
Now all I gotta do is find someone on Google who has a 8 dpo bfp to get me going!



Until next time!
__________________
Me 35, DH 38
First began TTC- Start 2007
1st BFP Oct. 2008- M/C in Dec. 2008 - D&C in Jan. 2009
Took break for a year.
Started TTC again in May 2011- TTC for my 1st baby
BFP July 29 2013!




Last edited by Naomi77; July 6th, 2011 at 06:03 PM.
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  #17  
July 6th, 2011, 07:00 PM
kbpeanut's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: north county san diego, ca
Posts: 13,284
Hi Naomi!

Hi and welcome! Sorry it's taken me so long to post in your journal, but I've been reading! I'm Karin, DH is Patrick, and we're both 36. We're on cycle 31 of TTC our first little one.

I agree with the other ladies, come hang on the main board!

Welcome again, and I look forward to reading your journal!

karin

PS. Your chart looks great!
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Thanks *Kiliki* for my amazingly perfect siggy!


05.24.2011


Our TTC Journey | Pregnancy Journals: Nugget (or here) and Baxter (or here)
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  #18  
July 7th, 2011, 04:55 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Myerstown, PA
Posts: 11,181
You're funny...

I remember all of those worries, the obsessing over charts, etc.

In my opinion, I say go to the wine tasting and HAVE FUN! The very worst thing you can let TTC do is take over your entire life... and it will if you're not careful. Don't misunderstand, I'm a big proponent for making healthy choices and whatnot, but truly... it's not going to make that much of a negative impact.

My DH and I went to a wine tasting when we were newly TTC and I've gotta tell you... That day is one of the best memories I have. Hell, the pic in my siggy is actually from that day... you can see the wine glass in my hand! The weather was beautiful, the wines were lovely, we felt so happy and in love and excited...

So... GO! Eat, drink and be merry ... and keep hold of your life, it's much easier than having to try and take it back later!
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  #19  
July 7th, 2011, 05:19 PM
daneeleigh's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 6,647
I completely agree with Nikki. Definitely enjoy your life still while ttc. Now, obviously you're an intelligent women and you're not over indulging a ton so there's no harm to your body, which is the important part to ttc. If you truly feel more sane and comfortable with the idea of not drinking and it lowers your stress level, then I say by all means. I think it's about what makes your ttc journey more comfortable and you can keep your mind at ease. I never stopped drinking while ttc because to me I didn't feel it did any harm. I'm not an alcoholic either so I knew I'd be okay. In fact the night I conceived, I had had a few margaritas

Can't wait for your testing update!
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  #20  
August 7th, 2011, 08:22 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Santa Barbara, CA
Posts: 104
Thanks ladies for the support and to Karin, Nikki, and Daneeleigh, I appreciated your replies.

Entry# 6- Back to Business
Note: If you want to skip over the non fertility parts, scroll down to My cycle section.


Been away for a little while. Glad to be back though! Here what's been going since my last entry....

Friends 4 Ever

As I had mentioned earlier, my good friend Jenny was coming to Santa Barbara (she lives in Washington state and I never see anymore, we talk on the phone sporadically though). I love Jenny to death, I grew up with her (met her in the third grade) and then she moved way about 7-8 years ago Jenny always has the best stories and descriptions to share. I love to listen to her talk about dating. She went through over 50 online dating experiences, and has it down to a science, and she makes me laugh. We spent a few days together in July while she was here in SB.

Unfortunately, we did not get to go wine tasting though. She ended getting a urinary tract infection right beforehand and had to take antibiotics which prevented her from drinking. But it was okay, as I was broke that week and could not afford it anyhow.

We did go to Cold Springs Tavern, a restaurant and bar up in the California mountains. The scenery was just beautiful. The food at Cold Springs was nothing to write home about though, oh well what can you do?

Jenny had brought her new boyfriend Sean (who lives with her in Olympia, WA) with her on her trip. She invited my good friend Bridget from SB (who had changed here named to Trinity, before the movie the Matrix, which I still can't get used to calling her that) from elementary school. In fact my mother adopted Bridget/Trinity when she was 12 but she ended up leaving a year later. Long story.
Anyway, it was nice to see both of my old gal pals.
Bridget/Trinity had brought her daughter Isis to the restaurant, who is 12 and a wonderful girl. It bothered me she jokingly called her daughter Isis "issue" and "demon seed", but whatever. Then Bridget /Trinity ordered a huge 3 course meal and ate like she had never eaten before in her life. No big deal. Except totally unlike the person I had known her to be who ate like a bird in the past. I mean I knew she had body image problems, so I was a little surprised when she ate so much. Good for her I thought.

But what was really disturbing was after the meal, she proceeded to the restroom immediately and I could hear her throw up her entire meal. It was sad. I asked for telephone/ cell number thinking maybe I could help, but she shunned me of course. I was bummed my dear friend was sick, but I couldn't do anything about it. So I just said goodbye.
It was nice to finally meet Sean, Jenny's boyfriend. He was very nice, I liked him, and he was the first guy she ever brought home to meet her parents or friends. She bossed him around a lot, he didn't seem to mind though. She had him leave to go to the store with her Mom so that "we could catch up". Unfortunately, my boyfriend Matt, was still there, but didn't mind listening us gab about the past. Jenny, not being deterred by Matt being there, broke into a story about how Sean masturbates each day before she comes home from work. Which she said had angered her because "he rather look at porn online than have sex with her". She continued to discuss her dissatisfaction in not getting any sex, but said he "just wasn't as horny as she" and that she had to get used to it. I did not know what to say to that. I did say that maybe he has a porn addiction. She replied that it was okay, as long as she could have sex with him and not get shafted or denied each day. I really hope they can work it out. Interesting, I think she can wean him off the porn.

A few minutes later, Jenny turned to Matt and said, "Naomi told me something about you when you first started dating, but I don't want to embarrass you". OMG! What did I say! My mind went crazy thinking about what horrible things I could of uttered about him to her back then . Oh please don't mortify me Jenny!
I said to her, "Uh, please don't tell us what I said! I can't take it right now!" not knowing what it could be scared me!
"I won't", she said and then whispered in my ear about me saying something along the lines of Matt being good at going down on me. I think Matt was happy he did not have to hear her say it aloud, but he knew I think what she had said. We both giggled.
In the end, I said goodbye. Wow. How I miss her.

The Jam
OH YEAH! I forgot to tell you, I made the best plum jam ever. Well, it's the jam I have ever made. But it rocked! I managed to make it the last week of July. There was only 3-4 lb. of plums left on the tree, but I managed to have enough. Everyone in my family keeps begging me for a jar of it, but I only have two left and they are for me!

My Cycle
On the fertility tip... I have been less stressed which is good for ttc. I had to take a short break from JM, as I was becoming obsessed and was looking up topics on pregnancy symptoms all day. So much so that I felt it took over my life. It's addicting. I have trouble staying away from googling each dpo day that goes by. Like today i keep googling 4 dpo. So I need to watch myself. Since my summer has been completely open with no work or school my obsession became so bad that I had stop completely in order to stop. I needed to relax and ttc but not obsess as I was. I think my ovulation was delayed last cycle due to anxiety and constant focus on ttc, as I wanted it so bad to be pregnant every minute of the day. I was ovulating on cycle day 30 or longer. I was having 45-50 day cycles rather than my normal 34-40 day cycle.

This month I got my cross hairs on CD 26.. way better looking chart. I'm trying to bd at better times, so it's back to business as usual now that I'm de-stressed, thank goodness.
My cover line is 96.9 this cycle. I thought I ovulated on CD24 the day my temp went down to 96.1 But it was actually two days later on CD26 with a 96.8 temp.
Then on CD 28- 2DPO my temp went way up to 98.2! Now at 4 dpo it's just chillin' at 97.7, still pretty high for a cover line of 96.9.

I had this strange soreness that came about on my O'day and I am freaked out I may have another cycst. I have had a cyst before when I was 20, that hurt really bad, and I couldn't even walk. I had a U/S and they said it was big and they brought me back a month or so later and it was gone. It went away on it's own last time. Ugh, don't want another cyst!

I'm pretty happy with this cycle beside the weird pain, maybe it isn't a cyst maybe it's an O pain?
All I know is I'm thrilled I have high temps, but I'm trying stay calm and not get my hopes up.

Symptoms:
2 days before O: Tons of EWCM, must of been all the grapefruit juice.
1 day before O: More fabulous EWCM- Had sex that night, doggie style (wanted to try something different), then went to sleep
O day: Watery CM, could be semen with it, sorry for the TMI. Slept all day, had an extremely sore spot near my left ovary above my bikini line. Hope I don't have a cyst again.
1DPO- No CM. My sore area was still there, tender to the touch mostly.
2DPO- No CM, Still tired. HIGH temp! Soreness is less pronounced.
3DPO- VERY HIGH TEMP! Feeling energetic, no CM. Sore spot on left ovary is pretty much gone.
4DPO- No CM, still have high temps. feeling optimistic!


That's it, or should I say, sorry for going on and on!

Baby dust to all!
Naomi
__________________
Me 35, DH 38
First began TTC- Start 2007
1st BFP Oct. 2008- M/C in Dec. 2008 - D&C in Jan. 2009
Took break for a year.
Started TTC again in May 2011- TTC for my 1st baby
BFP July 29 2013!



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