Crystal's TTC Journal

Crystallee · #1 August 20th, 2011, 08:24 AM

Hmm I think I want one of these. I will start out with our "story I suppose.

Cycle 8 CD 29 6 dpo

I put off doing a journal because every month I would think ahh there is not point because I'll start it and then get my bfp and it will have 3 posts. Ha. That worked out great. So here we are on cycle number 8 after a good 2 years of not trying and pnp'ing. I only got serious about opk's and temps in June so cycle 6. Feels like a lifetime however. I always figured we would have a whoopsy baby while pnp'ing but nope never happened. Then I figured the first month we tried we were going to have an easy bfp. Ha. 8 months down the road and I am finally wondering if we are broken, either one or both of us. I know we haven't been really hardcore "trying" for super long and it is premature to worry but hey it is what I do. Last cycle (7) I was super late so went in for bw and had a grand old hcg of 2. Then AF started. My family doctor put it in my records as a chemical but the whole thing just kind of stunk. This somehow excited SO because his "swimmers got through" like they ran a marathon and won or something.. lol He was cute. Anyways back to us I suppose. We have 3 furbabies, 2 kittens and our dog. We bought a house about a year and a half ago so that is fun. It is nice to be on our own, no roommates, no relatives, and nobody whining about our doggy. We are ridiculously ready for our bfp. We have some fertility issues on my side of the family so it makes me stress a little extra thinking something is wrong with me, though SO's side is like bunny rabbits... This cycle I took a temping break due to wisdom teeth extraction, followed by fillings a week later. My jaw is still killing me and temping just doesn't sound fun right now. So that's about it. I just wanted somewhere to update and whine as I seem to be rather whiny lately, which isn't really me. The ttc train has me kind of down and ranty.

Coley · #2 August 20th, 2011, 11:52 AM

Looks like I'm your first journal poster!!!

Congrats on starting a journal though... They're really therapeutic. It's great, especially when the main board goes a bit quiet and you feel like you wanna "talk" things out, but no one is around to do it with...? I've used my journal for that lots of times!!

I was so excited and hopeful for you last cycle too... but I've gotta agree with your SO! His boys got through... and that's a great step forward!!

I hope you get your sticky bean really soon!

Crystallee · #3 August 21st, 2011, 01:06 AM

Yay Thanks. It does feel therapeutic. I thought it was adorable that he just kept saying.. but they got through right....?

So on to today

CD 30 7 DPO.... or CD 1????
Woke up in the middle of tonight to pretty dark spotting but I can't tell yet if it is af or spotting of some sort. I have no cramps which is very bizarre for me as I get miserable yucky cramps that are horrible. Guess we will see...

Coley · #4 August 21st, 2011, 06:16 AM

Hmm... that's curious.

You've stopped temping, so I can't tell if you've had an AF drop or not.

Hopefully you're actually 7dpo and it's crazy implantation bleeding!

Crystallee · #5 August 22nd, 2011, 12:51 AM

Cycle 9 CD 1
Pretty positive it is a 100% symptom free AF which I have not had once in my entire life. I am an ibuprofen/shower/heating pad through af kind of girl. I am super frustrated. My cycles were pretty regular my whole life until when I need them to be. Now FF things I o'd back on the 10th which was the night we started every other day bding and only had hit and miss bding before that.

Coley · #6 August 22nd, 2011, 04:40 AM

Ugh! Sorry you've had such a wacky cycle.

I wish this was easier for all of us. It's so hard...

I wish I could be a bit more encouraging today, but I'm floating along in the S.S. Feelin' Blue boat myself, so I'm, unfortunately, not the best cheerleader... but I wanted you to know that I'm here, reading & caring. Some days that's all I need, ya know?

Crystallee · #7 August 22nd, 2011, 05:11 AM

Thanks for stoppin in. I consider this cheerleading!

I wish we could seriously just all call the stork and have babies dropped off sigh.

On a better note, your chart still looks fabulous and I hope you can keep your chin up regardless of what happens. and get some extra nose kisses from the hubby to make you feel better if necessary as they always lift my mood.

JennyLee · #8 August 22nd, 2011, 08:36 PM

Sorry about the stupid witch showing, Crystal

Crystallee · #9 August 22nd, 2011, 10:38 PM

Hmm or maybe not. Pretty much gone now. Tiniest bit of spotting. Never picked up beyond spotting. I'm confused...

Crystallee · #10 August 23rd, 2011, 04:45 AM

CD... ah who knows. Who cares. Someday.
Spotting stopped. So I am epicly confused. Yesterday was like the craziest worst day ever. I don't know what on earth I was drinking that lead me to believe yesterday was a great day to run to the college campus to pick up our books for the semester for online courses. It was the first day of classes. There is major construction going on. It took me an hour and a half to find a parking spot... I almost got ran over no less than 5 times, and almost squished other vehicles, people on bikes, pedestrians, parked cars, and all sorts of other things probably 30 times. I wasted an eighth of a tank of gas just driving in circles looking for parking. Then I go in the book store, and run into my SO's ex. Ick. Theeeen I finally get the 40 lbs of books and lug them a mile back to my car. All the while trying not to have a heat stroke. It was a nightmare. Plus I had to run into a couple offices to set up payments and stuff and the lines were 20 to 30 people deep everywhere I went. The line to buy books actually had a movie playing in it and I think I watched half of it..... Yep I was a crazy person thinking the first day of classes was a good day to go within a hundred yards of campus especially since parking is always bad anyways, but add in major construction. Yep. Smart.

Coley · #11 August 23rd, 2011, 05:44 AM

Oh wow! You're a glutton for punishment, aren't ya?!?

Glad the spotting has stopped, but I'm sorry it's making things more confusing. I'm right there with ya on the stork thing! Ring him up, tell him what you want and wait for it to show up through your bedroom window! That'd be FAB!!

Sorry about running into the Ex. Did you guys just "see" each other, or was there interaction?

Hope today goes a lot smoother and that you stay as far away from that college campus as humanly possible!!

Crystallee · #12 August 23rd, 2011, 06:02 AM

There was interaction. She walked by and I kinda ducked my head the other direction and then she flipped around and said oh hiiiii its you. She asked how I was and alls I said was "My books are heavy"... lol Feel the love. On a better note she looked yucky. Made me feel better

Coley · #13 August 23rd, 2011, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystallee

On a better note she looked yucky. Made me feel better

Well at least she looked yucky!!!

DaniM0820 · #14 August 23rd, 2011, 09:46 AM

I'm sorry you're feeling down and your cycle is confusing--I definitely know how you feel with that though!!

Speaking of storks....DH and I decided to do a bit of fishing on our anniversary vacation. We walked out to their little pond in the AM and there were 3 baby deer just eating the grass right in front of us.

When we went out in the evening, there were some birds flying around. One HUGE one flew down near the water, stopped, then flew away again. I asked DH, "What the heck kind of bird is that???" and he just says, "A stork." I was like

I had NEVER seen one, it was a blueish color, NOT white like I thought they were!

Anyway, I hope me seeing it over the weekend means a BFP storm is coming to our board!!!

IndyMommyWannabe · #15 August 23rd, 2011, 12:49 PM

hi there!!!! just wanted to stop in on your new journal (as I started one too!) and say good luck to you! I know how much it absolutely SUCKS thinking every month "this'll be it!" and then nope - "she" pokes her ugly head in!

sorry about the day you had! i too, laughed, about the "at least she looked yucky"! haha.

i look forward to reading more about your journey! hopefully this TTC journal will turn into a pregnancy journal for you soon enough!

Crystallee · #16 August 23rd, 2011, 02:18 PM

Did you tell that stork to get with the program for all of us Dani?

Thanks for the well wishes everybody. Today I am back to very brown and very light spotting.... Ugh

Crystallee · #17 August 24th, 2011, 03:18 AM

Ugh. I hate this. Not a thing going on today so I don't really know what is going on or if I am in or out. Maybe I'll just wait a couple days and waste a stick.

DaniM0820 · #18 August 24th, 2011, 04:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystallee

Did you tell that stork to get with the program for all of us Dani?

Was praying that seeing it meant a good sign for ALL of us on the board!

Too bad we can't get babies from the stork though...

I wonder if no news is good news? Do you have any plans to test later this week? I think I might pee on something on Friday...

Crystallee · #19 August 24th, 2011, 05:16 AM

Tomorrow is my birthday and I really want to test on my birthday but I know I'll be let down if it is a bfn. Maybe not though because I already felt "out" so had my sad moment a couple days ago.

How cool would it be to get a bday bfp and then be due like almost dead on our anniversary.

I wish there was some way to tell how much is too much for implantation bleeding. I had three spotting episodes and that is it. The first one was brighter and a little heavier, went away, the next day was light light spotting, and then today was barely any brown spotting. Wish there was like a chart or something lol.