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IndyMommyWannabe / Keri-Ann's TTC Journal


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  #21  
September 6th, 2011, 07:53 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
Thanks for the reply, Dani!

What is TCM?

I'm not sure if I can get him to take anything else - normally he's ok with vitamins and whatnot - but since the doc has him on clomid - he's the kind that only wants to trust the doc...ya know?...

He has not had another SA done yet - he's supposed to go in to have another blood draw done, to see if his Testosterone levels have risen or not...but no clue on the SA...which is frustrating that I have no control over this! lol!

I SO hope the clomid helps naturally as well - obviously i do NOT want to pay to have IUI or IVF done...I'm just getting so sad/frustrated that it's not happened yet. ya know?
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #22  
September 6th, 2011, 10:09 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Philly!
Posts: 11,173
TCM is what I'm doing... Traditional Chinese Medicine. It involved acupuncture & herbs, although you don't have to do the herbs. I go once a week for an hour acupuncture session and I have to drink 2 cups of tea that I brew from a raw herb concoction my Dr makes for me.

TCM certainly can benefit men as well in the fertility area. I know I've read stories about it helping with sperm issues. There's not much that they can't treat with it. I originally began seeing my Dr. 3 months ago for severe digestive problems that no regular Dr. could seem to figure out. I had been living with stomach pains, bloating & severe diarrhea for years... It got so bad, I literally dropped over 100 lbs without even trying. My parents thought I was dying. She was the only one who was able to get it all to go away. I haven't had any of those symptoms in over 2 1/2 months now.

I dunno if you have someone in your area, but it might be something to keep in the back of your mind. I'm super hopeful the Clomid sorts it all out for you and you don't have to look for any other avenues... but if you do and have any questions, as always, I'm happy to help.
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  #23  
September 6th, 2011, 07:42 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
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Location: Indiana
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oh ok! cool! so - stupid question - insurance won't pay for acupuncture, will it?

doesn't acupuncture also help with anxiety? Maybe I'll bring this up with my therapist tomorrow...(I see one for OCD/Intrusive thoughts/Anxiety issues...)

I just asked my husband and he said he's never thought about it and didn't say "absolutely not" just gave me an "I don't know"...

He did just tell me he needs to call to set up an appointment to get another blood test done - to see if his T levels have risen or not.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #24  
September 9th, 2011, 07:41 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
...

just feel like posting. having a sad -"i need to research everything i can to see if there's anything else we can do that i'm not doing to get pregnant" sort of saturday night."

So i bought some Conceive Plus Want a baby? | CONCEIVE PLUS IN SOUTH AFRICA | Scientifically formulated to promote egg fertilization

as well as some OPKs off of Amazon (even though I have the CBEFM - but i haven't used it in months because of our male infertility issues)...

I asked him tonight - if I bought him some "fertailaid" for men if he'd take it and he said no - because he wants to trust the doc and do what the doc says to do...

I'm just so sad every flippin' day that we don't have a baby. and that sucks! lol!!

I know it's not good to dwell on it...it just gets so frustrating.

IN OTHER NEWS...our new kitchen floors started going in today! FINALLY!
yay!
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #25  
September 11th, 2011, 05:45 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Philly!
Posts: 11,173
My insurance doesn't cover my acupuncture sessions and we've got pretty kick *** insurance that DOES cover infertility treatments. I pay $55 a session and then the herbs are $40 per week. So, while it's not "cheap" persay, it is less than we were paying at the RE for ultrasounds, blood work, etc.

Sorry DH won't take the Fertilaid. I have to say, I don't quite understand the idea of not taking something just because it hasn't been recommended by a Dr. I mean, Dr's don't always tell people to take a multi-vitamin, but that doesn't mean it's not a good idea, ya know?

My DH has always been pretty good about trying things I've suggested... it's just getting him to KEEP doing it that is a bit of a struggle! I had him on zinc, L-arginine, L-carnitine and a few others as well. Our RE had him on $60 a bottle anti-oxidants which really did help his count. His numbers are acceptable, but can use beefing up a bit. I have found those same anti-oxidants online for WAAAAY less, so once we're moved and stuff, I'm gonna make him get a new bottle and start taking them again.

With all I've put myself through in these last 2-1/2 years, he can pop a few pills, ya know?!
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  #26  
September 12th, 2011, 11:47 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
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Location: Indiana
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Our OLD insurance used to cover IVF - but our new insurance, which for the most part DOES kick ***** does not cover any infertility treatments - such as IVF, IUI, etc...



I would like to look into ancupuncture, but we'll see how much it is.

My therapist actually wants me to see a psychiatrist to see if he can't help me better with my anxiety and OCD issues...while will in turn hopefully help my stress levels - which I know doesn't help TTC! lol.

My husband asked me last night what was wrong...and he's normally not one to "want to talk" about things - but he could tell that I've been depressed lately...

I told him that my anxiety levels at work are just going through the roof...and I also told him - point blank - it's depressing that we haven't gotten pregnant yet. He agreed - and while he's NOT one to really talk about things, I could totally get from his reactions that he is upset by it too. And I'm sure it's gotta be hurting him so much more than he lets on since most of the issues - and I don't want this to sound mean because I do not blame him - but most of the issues are because of him.

I hate feeling so depressed lately because I have an AWESOME life! Indredible husband, friends, parents, pets, job, house...etc...etc...but not having a baby to hold, I just feel lost sometimes.



IN OTHER NEWS...though...so my journal here doesn't sound so depressing - lol - we have new floors in our kitchen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And they look AWESOME! I WILL post all the pics soon, just haven't had the time.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #27  
September 12th, 2011, 03:38 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
So I realized I don't have any good pics of what our kitchen floors USED to look like...but here's the closest one I could find - from before we moved in (3 years ago...) to give an idea of what USED to be there...



And now our new AWESOME tile floors!

__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #28  
September 13th, 2011, 06:10 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Philly!
Posts: 11,173
I know exactly what you're talking about!! I sometimes feel guilty for being depressed about not having a baby yet, because I, also, have so many wonderful things in my life.

I have a fantastic husband who has been the Gold freakin' Standard when it comes to all things TTC, he has permanent work which had been such a struggle for us for so many years, I live in a nice place, I have parents who would do absolutely anything for me and the friends I have are devoted and worth their weight in gold. It sometimes makes me feel a bit shallow that in the face of all of those things, I'm still not completely happy.

I'm so glad you and DH were able to actually open up and talk about your TTC feelings and stuff. That really helps so much! I've considered the idea of going to see a therapist or someone to talk to about some of the bad feelings I get. My DH has just started seeing a psychiatrist due to panic/anxiety attacks, and he seems to be feeling much better.

And can I just say... your kitchen floors look FAB!!!! You've gotta love sprucin' up the place a little bit... it always makes things feel new and exciting! How did the clean up of your flooded basement go?
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  #29  
September 13th, 2011, 06:38 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
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Thanks!!

Still working on cleaning up the basement...so I've actually got TWO projects going on! haha.

Our floors in the kitchen are DONE now...but of course now that we have the nice new floor I'm looking at everything else in there..."hmmm what ELSE can we do?"...

So tomorrow night I hope to work more on the basement - and on Saturday I'm planning on painting the walls in the kitchen!!!

Least this will give me something to do! haha.

As for seeing an actual shrink...I keep thinking about it more and more. I called my insurance yesterday and the good news is that I do not need a referral from my primary care or anything. But I couldn't get through to the medical people of my insurance (behavorial insurance - while on the same plan, is a different phone number) - and I want to find out of acupuncture is covered or not. I think it might be.

Also - for any of you out there reading this blog...I've decided to start my own OCD and Infertility blog on blogger!

Waiting for our Miracle
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #30  
September 14th, 2011, 07:24 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
PEEING ON A STICK...


ok, so I DO own the cbefm (clear blue easy fertility monitor) - but in all honesty it's a pain in the but to remember to pee on it the first thing in the morning...plus with DH having the male fertility issues, in all honesty I've given up on temping and my cbefm because we've been told our only option is IVF (which we can't afford right now...)

BUT I decided I still need to know when / if I DO O (which from when I used the cbefm, I DID O on/around the 14th day of my 28 day cycle, yes I am one of those! haha).

So I got the cheapies in the mail today (bought them off of amazon, just the kind you pee into a cup, put in the cup for 3 seconds and read it 5 minutes later..) and it showed a very faint line (i'm on cd11). I also bought some of the conceive plus (which came today as well!) so we will see if this works! I don't wanna get my hopes up, by any means...but we will see!

DH did go in to have his blood drawn again, last week, to see if the clomid was helping at all. And the good news is that his testosterone levels were up - but so were his estrogen levels - so they upped the pill that he's on to counter act that.

He's supposed to go back in in another 4 weeks for another blood draw. I keep trying to convince him, though, he NEEDS to get another SA done to see if that has changed at all! He HATED having the SA done, though...but of course I have to remind him - "hellooooooo - BLOOD is not what makes a baby!" he needs to get another SA done, ****it!

so we shall see.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #31  
September 15th, 2011, 04:57 AM
DaniM0820's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Pottstown, PA
Posts: 3,041
Sorry everything is still so frustrating BUT yay for higher testosterone levels!!

I agree though--your DH really should get another SA. My DH got one and wasn't a fan of it either, but it didn't help that the bathroom he was in was gross and he could hear everyone outside of it He actually has to go back for another one when I have my appt next week to make sure that whatever bacteria they found is gone now.

I hope your DH does decide to get another SA done soon just so you can see how the Clomid is working. Have you also looked into any possible vitamin regimen you can get him on? If he won't take them willingly, maybe you can tamper with his food!
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  #32  
September 15th, 2011, 06:58 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
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I hope he does get it done soon. he knows he needs to - but he can not stress enough how AWFUL it is to have one done...sterile room...just knowing that THEY KNOW what he "just did"...

I keep telling him "they" (the doc's office) specializes in this and has men do that ALL THE TIME and it's just a MEDICAL thing...but he still hates it.

The first time he had it done, he told me how completely perverted he felt, like everyone he encountered that day knew what he'd just done!

oh well.

IN OTHER NEWS - sorta...I POAS'd tonight (OPK) and YAY!!!! TWO VERY CLEAR LINES!



I'm on CD12 and I also have that conceive plus AND I still have some of the Softcup's I bought a long time ago, too...

Now I just have to get DH in the mood!

Looks like I'm gonna have to light some candles and be ready to give a full body massage! (it's our "thing"...i'm really good at giving massages - but normally he needs to 'ask' for one...)
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #33  
September 16th, 2011, 04:02 AM
DaniM0820's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Pottstown, PA
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Good luck! Hope you get lots of BDing in!
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  #34  
September 16th, 2011, 06:21 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
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Location: Indiana
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaniM0820 View Post
Good luck! Hope you get lots of BDing in!
thanks!!

Well, let's just say we are now in the 2 week wait......not that it REALLY matters though. Just like every month, I don't wanna get my hopes up too high...

However I'm hoping this month is different...I had my positive OPK - Used the conceive plus AND the soft cup (wow, is THAT a lot of TMI!

I do what I can on my part, but it's so frustrating to know what cards are stacked against us, month after month. I'd LOVE to be a part of the club on this board who can check for symptoms during the 2WW but part of me just knows better...and after 18 cycles of symptom checking...one tends to lose hope. But I will NOT give up! Every day I know that miracles do happen and I do have faith that one day, our miracle will happen! (I'm just hoping it's this month!!!
__________________
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TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #35  
September 16th, 2011, 09:21 AM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: California
Posts: 11,267
Good luck! FX'd this is your cycle!
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  #36  
September 16th, 2011, 10:21 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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Good luck for you this cycle! You know, when DH had his SA done, he was able to "take care of things" at home, then rush it to the lab, since we lived so close. I bet DH would have been the same as yours about doing that there. Might check into that?
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  #37  
September 16th, 2011, 12:29 PM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: South Philly!
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Nice OPK!

I hear ya on the symptom watching... I don't really do it much myself, because after all these cycles, it gets exhausting and I feel like a jack *** when I pay attention to this that and the other only to have AF show up anyway.

to Karin... see if you can find a drop off place that's close enough where DH can take care of things at home. We were able to collect at home for DH's first SA, but had to do his 2nd and all collections for our IUI's in office, not that he cared. We always had a little chuckle afterwards when he'd tell me about the porn they had in there!!
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  #38  
September 16th, 2011, 04:51 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
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i will have to talk to him about that...make him ask his doc about getting another SA done and tell him there could be an option of doing "that" at home! haha.

yeah - as for symptom checking...it just makes me frustrated! lol. I do at least count myself lucky that I have a clockwork cycle...so it's when i DO go past my 27 days that I start to question (like last month)...but showed up on day 30 (which is not normal...) but that could also just have been stress.

sigh. someday...someday...

course it's ONLY 1DPO and maybe i'm just feelin' weird or something, but I'm a bit crampy tonight...

eh it's probly all in my head.
__________________
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TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility

Last edited by IndyMommyWannabe; September 16th, 2011 at 04:57 PM.
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  #39  
September 17th, 2011, 11:12 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
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SO much to do today! and that's a good thing. One thing I have to say that has gotten really old...(and I always tend to think I wouldn't BE bored had we gotten pregnant by now...lol) is having NOTHING to do on the weekends...

But with all the stuff going on around the house - honestly - I am counting the floor mishap as a blessing in disguise. Yes it SUCKED that we've had to do all of this because of water damage - but honestly, it's been a great way to kick our butts into gear!

The water also ruined shelving down in the basement...

This is like a little nook down the basement stairs and on the left side of the basement...right under neath the kitchen. This picture was taken 3 years ago, before we moved in...



So THIS is what it looked like (about 3 weeks ago) after we ripped out all those shelves...which WERE nice shelves...and I used them for a lot of stuff...but honestly I like it even MORE now that they are gone...

first is the wall when the shelves were first ripped out...then after it was "cleaned" and the last is the first coat of drylok (need to upload, still, the finished product...)








So - I've also decided the rest of the basement needs it...so about 2 weeks ago I did the 2nd wall and today I started on the third wall (this really takes a lot of time, as all walls require two coats...and I work 40+ hours...so I only get the weekend and we've actually been busy on the weekends!

Also - I will share the walls of the kitchen, that we've decided to paint grey! Currently everything in there is a creamy white...and just dirty. So the walls will be grey (today, after my husband finishes putting in the new basement door) and the trim will be white...

Thing is - the basement is my project... He did help me actually remove the shelving and helped me with the first coat of drylok in the shelving area...but the rest of the basement has been ALL ME!

I love having something to do! haha.

Thing is - honestly - when I don't have stuff to do on the weekends (and usually hubby is working) I sit on my computer/facebook all day long while watching HGTV or something and start to get depressed because I have no family of my own to do anything...but this is (somewhat...hahaha) getting my mind off of that - or well, at least keeping me busy!
__________________
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-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility

Last edited by IndyMommyWannabe; September 17th, 2011 at 11:28 AM.
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  #40  
September 17th, 2011, 12:23 PM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 12,174
Wow, sounds like you have quite a project underway! But I know how it feels when you have a project, something that is your own, and something to not only keep you busy, but also when you enjoy it (or at least you know you will enjoy the outcome!) Good luck!
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05.24.2011



Our TTC Journey | View my pregnancy journals here or here
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