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IndyMommyWannabe / Keri-Ann's TTC Journal


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  #1  
August 22nd, 2011, 11:14 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
Hello! So I am going to try and keep a journal here on the TTC your First Child board. This way I can come to this journal any time I need to get out my frustations, have any "pity parties" I may need and just to basically let things out.

I've been posting to a couple of boards on the JM boards for a while now. Mainly I started off in the TTC board, then moved to the TTC with male infertility and the TTC with Medical Assistance.

While everyone on every board has been awesome - the male infertility board just isn't that active and unfortunately the MA board isn't where we are at at this time...mainly because - well, we've been told that our ONLY option IS MA (IVF with icsi)...and I was getting excited because I THOUGHT we'd be able to start this year....but come to find out - my usually awesome insurance through work does NOT cover ANY IVF, IUI, etc...etc...which sucks because LAST YEAR (we had a different carrier) and they did cover it. But our new does not.

So anyways. Here I am. I will be 32 in 7 days. My 32nd birthday is Next Monday, August 29th. My husband and I were LEGALLY married 2 and a half years ago on April 13, 2009. Our actual Wedding was June 26, 2010 - which is the day we celebrate.

We were legally married a year before our wedding so that my husband could get on my insurance and have some (life saving) back surgery that he had to have done.

I went of my BC pills in March of 2010 (yes, a few months before our wedding!) in hopes to get my body more prepared for actual "TTC'ng"...as we decided we were going to start TTC right after the wedding.

AND of course - we thought we'd be pregnant right away (like everyone does, who decides to TTC! lol).

Well yeah - obviously that has not happened. Months and months of showing up and nothing. Finally at my Yearly this year (in April) - I asked my doc if there were any tests we could have done to see what was going on. Well, she sent me home with a sterile cup and directions for what my husband needed to do and the lab to take it to.

Well - come to find out...he has low count, low motility and 0% morphology!!!!!!

yeah. He also has low T and so his doc has him on clomid. So really that's where we are at now. Just in the "meantime/waiting" period to see if that helps or not.

I also did have an hCG test done in June and found out I have a partially blocked right tube as well (yeah, when it rains it pours!).

so that's my story. I will def. be back to post more as I need to - so I'm not taking up a ton of time / posts on the message boards.

Hopefully there will be some friends I make along the way with this journal and I look forward to reading others' as well.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #2  
August 22nd, 2011, 06:31 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
ok, so today sucked! I was having a crappy day at work, feeling all sorry for myself and sad/depressed over not having a baby (just having one of "those days") mainly because a girl at work came into work with her BEAUTIFUL 2 month old baby girl...and I kept thinking "wow...we've been trying for 6 months more than BEFORE they even GOT pregnant!" ugh.

then I came home to my husband in the kitchen with the fridge pulled out and the kitchen floor flooded...AND the basement flooded! ugh.

guess it's nothing like perspective to get you out of a funk.

it's not as bad as it sounds - we got things cleaned up - but RIGHT underneath the kitchen wall - where the water line busted, in the basement - was a wall full of shelves that had a lot of my "stuff" that got ruined - scrapbooking materials, CD's, board games. ugh. lot of cleaning up to do now.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #3  
August 22nd, 2011, 06:42 PM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Philly!
Posts: 11,173
Oh honey!! What a day!!


I'm so sorry about your stuff! I hope you guys are able to get everything all sorted.
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  #4  
August 23rd, 2011, 05:41 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
thanks, Nikki!! I took today off of work to clean up our basement...lots of bleaching down the walls today (making sure there's no mold...) and i've been meaning to clean out the basement get rid of a lot of "stuff" anyways - now this is just the kick in the arse I need! lol
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #5  
August 23rd, 2011, 05:46 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Philly!
Posts: 11,173
I hear ya... it just sucks to have something like that be the thing that makes you do it, ya know?

Make sure you take a fan down there with you if you're working with bleach. Wanna make sure there's good ventilation and you don't go passin' out on us!

I hope some of your stuff is salvageable!
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  #6  
August 23rd, 2011, 10:53 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
actually, I went ahead and called our insurance...they gave me the number of a water restoration company...they came out and low and behold - our floors were goners. They ripped up the (awful) laminate that was in our kitchen and I called our insurance back - they will be paying for new floors! it does suck that we have to pay the deductible ($1000) - but that's better than the $4000 that it'll cost to replace!

but yeah - the clean up now sucks. the water restoration company has fans and a de-humidifier going in the kitchen and the basement...so we have to let all that dry out first - and claims will be calling me soon to set up the adjuster to come out and look at things...we have decided, though, we are definitely putting tile in!

as for the basement, it needs dried out - then i'm going to bleach down the walls (there is mold down there - as we have always had seepage issues with the water coming in / down the walls - hey, it's a basement!)

but i'm gonna wait to do that til after it's dried out and everything is done.

some board games were damaged, but most of my stuff on the shelves that got "rained on" were in plastic tubs!
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #7  
August 23rd, 2011, 11:58 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Philly!
Posts: 11,173
Make sure you let that adjuster know about & see EVERYTHING that was damaged!!

Glad you're not having to rip up the floors yourself! That would SUCK!
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  #8  
August 23rd, 2011, 12:43 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
that's why i'm not really cleaning anything up downstairs - asides from the fact that there's no where to put anything! haha.

this sucks though - we only have an 860 square foot house (top floor and same in basement)...and now half of our tiny little kitchen's stuff is in the dining room! we have fans and de-humidifiers going and whatnot. the basement looks like IT coulda been the epicenter of the earthquake!
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #9  
August 23rd, 2011, 01:37 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
OK - so i'm bored...since i really can't clean anything in the house - I figured I'd post!

tellin' just a little bit more 'bout me and the hubby. I will be 32 on Monday (ack!) and hubby just turned 38 in June. We have three fur-babies...er I should say WE have two fur-babies and I have three!

WE have two awesome doggies - our 8 year old "old man" black pug and our 2 1/2 year old golden retriever/golden lab mix. and I also have my 10 year old "baby girl" - my calico cat. She is my baby. My husband hates cats. haha. sorry she came with the territory! I've had her since she was one! Her name is Collins - named after a character from the musical, RENT - I am a renthead!





Petey - our pug - we adopted from a pug rescue here in Indy when he was 4. His family had had a baby and the baby and petey were jealous of each other and they didn't wanna deal with it. I REFUSE to let that happen once we have our babies! He is my booger!




And finally - last but certainly not least, our terror - I mean little girl... Chloe!
We adopted her in 2009 from a shelter that rescues puppy mill dogs. The shelter mainly deals with pit bulls and those type of dogs - but does rescue others, as well - and Chloe was one of them! I say terror - well - we love her to death and she has gotten SO much better - but if any of you have ever seen the movie "Marley and Me". yeah - i think they did that movie after her! we have come SO close to getting rid of her - due to the stuff she's destroyed - but we learned quicky it was because she had horrible separation anxiety. again, throughout the years, she's gotten better - but it was a very tough start. Now she is the sweetest most lovable little girl!

__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #10  
August 26th, 2011, 10:06 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
So I had a dream last night that my husband came to me and said he decided he changed his mind and doesn't want kids.

I know it was just a dream and NOT true...but lately - with a lot of the house stuff - of course the contractors and whatnot have asked "do you have kiddos"? and of course we answer "nope, just animals!" and my husband has mentioned to me a few times - since our house IS only 860 square feet (tiny little 2 bedroom 1 bath bungalo with the same square feet in the unfinished basement) that while we will definitely have to move once we DO have kids...it's easier now and will be for the next few years if we DON'T have kids too soon.

he does love our house (as do I, even with all of its issues)...and his hobby IS the house - the yard, projects, etc...he loves it. And I know that HE knows that adding a kid to such a tiny house would make it cramped.

Personally I don't care! lol - I know we would MAKE it work! Now - he absolutely WANTS kids. he does. I mean WE have been trying for over a year and a half now - not just me! lol.

Our guest bedroom - which currently has my desk, bookcases/office stuff and a bed - would absolutely become the nursery...I have it all planned out.

But - while I haven't asked him and I don't know if I'll bring it up, really...I am beginning to wonder if this whole TTC experience just has him feeling bad about himself - since, honestly, most of our TTC issues are male infertility...I can't imagine what is going through his mind, knowing that it's "his fault" we haven't gotten pregnant yet.

sigh. it's just frustrating. Again, I KNOW he wants kids - and it's great because everytime I see him around his nephews kid or our neighbor's kid - he absolutely ADORES them and I can just tell how bad he wants one...(in fact he is SO much better with kids than I am! lol)

I dunno...just felt like posting.

Now I do know ONE thing - as far as us having not gotten pregnant yet...we are in debt. It's not a ridiculous amount or anything - but it's enough that I personally feel like we're drowning every month making sure I pay the bills...and with the plan we are on (I'm with an awesome credit counselor for one of my old credit cards...) that will be paid off in April of next year...and two of our smaller ones will be gone by January - pretty much just leaving two big debts that affect the house left. (we put in new windows/door and gutters on the house) And those will get "paid off" once I'm done with the credit counselor and can get a home equity line to consolidate those two.

So a very tiny part of me keeps saying it's a GOOD thing we're not pregnant yet / or have had a baby yet - because we are doing well with our pay-off-debt plan...but I'm also of the firm belief - you can't truly PLAN for a baby...as in - if you wait for the "right time" that "right time" might not ever come.

I mean - really - HOW many parents out there have babies and do what they have to do to make it happen? ya know?!



That's just it - I don't think there's ever going to be the "right time" to or not to have a baby. We want one now. I know I do and I know he does too.

I mean - he IS taking the medication that is supposed to be helping us have a better ability TO conceive and he IS going through the motions we need to (such as seeing the doc, etc) that will put us on the path to conception...

I'm just - again - wondering if it's more that he's feeling bad that it hasn't happened yet?...

back to work with me. lunch time over.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #11  
August 26th, 2011, 08:32 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
so tonight we hung out with our neighbor, her roommate and our neighbor's 6 year old son. he's a good little kid - but RIDICULOUSLY hyper. and I can't blame him - here we are, 4 adults, drinking and playing cards - what does he have to do? granted, our dogs were out there to keep him company...but i can understand how bored he'd get....

but wow. again, he's a good little kid - but MAN can he get annoying! lol.

course he did ask me - pointing at my stomach (which I'm NOT fat at all - not skinny - but i have a fairly flat stomach) "is there a baby in there?"

um I wish! lol. eh - chalk it up to a bored 6 year old. lol.

oh well that was the highlight of my night! g'night!
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #12  
August 28th, 2011, 05:45 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
Baby Dreams. as in literally dreaming that you have a baby.

So my dream I had last night was super weird...from what I actually remember, now that I am awake - I remember being in a tower or school or something and walking around with a TON of books/homework and peeking in a room to see a project manager from work sitting with a girl from high school (who - as far as I know - have NO idea who each other re...) so I go in there and the girl from high school is really my sister-in-law and I start showing them pictures on my phone of my new baby!!! BUT they can't know the secret of who the father is - even though my SIL knows - because she and my brother are the ones who, for some reason, are raising my son!

so then, though, I tell the other girl there the secret - which was that the father was really the principal of the school! (who, for my dream, was actually my elementary school principal, not the high school principal...at least by name, anyways...cuz the feeling I had in my dream was that he was a boss I didn't like!)...

So my SIL told me to go find my baby, since she knew how much I wanted to raise him...

I got the feeling, from the dream, that I was only like 17 or something...(and my bro didn't meet my SIL til I was 22...but anyways)...so I go home - to my parent's house/the house I grew up in - and I was in the front yard, chewing on bubble gum...I have really weird dreams about bubble gum a lot - and it was such a HUGE wad of gum that I could NOT get it out of my mouth, like it kept growing...so anyways - I spit it out and it goes across the street into our neighbor's yard...who we've never liked.

So their daughter comes out and when I try to go across the street to get the gum, she comes up to me and punches me in the eye! Then her other sister and her parents come out to join in beating me up!

I see another friend from high school come out of my parent's house and I scream at her to get my parents - they come out and now EVERYONE is beating up EVERYONE!

Finally the fight ends - and I go inside and to my old bedroom - and there's my son...just laying on the floor waiting for me to pick him up. I do - and then I wake up.


Yes. strange. I know! haha.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #13  
August 29th, 2011, 03:55 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
I am 32 years old today. And still not a mommy. lol.



So I had an AWESOME birthday, though! Saturday night my INCREDIBLE husband took me out to The Oceanaire - which is a very high end seafood restaruant in Downtown Indy that I've wanted to go to for YEARS - but it's def. one of those places you'll spend $150 or MORE for 2 people...and we didi - and it was SO worth it! omg it was good!

Yesterday we went out with some of our best friends for lunch (who were my bridesmaids in our wedding - and their husband/boyfriend who were our ushers)...then last night my husband and I were in our basement, painting drylok on the basement walls of the area where we ripped out wood shelves that were nailed to the walls...that had MOLD everywhere...yeah - that's what I did saturday, before going out TO the oceanaire...and I'M the one who bleached/scrubbed down those walls - and it's looking AMAZING now, if I do say so myself!

But yeah - VERY busy weekend!

I'm on cycle day 25...due to start AF on wednesday...i'm like freakin' clockwork - 27 days pretty much every cycle...



I know one day we'll be parents - I just wish that day were sooner rather than later...
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #14  
August 30th, 2011, 08:02 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
Another cycle down...it's funny - mine are SO freakin' clockwork that I honestly don't even get the chance anymore to look for symptoms while in the 2WW...

It's beginning to make me sad and frustrated how beyond out of control this is for me! Meaning I have NO control over it whatsoever.

For some reason - it'd be easier to accept if it was ME that was the issue - if I had PCOS or something else that is usually what makes conceiving more difficult for women - but it's not me. It's my incredible awesome husband.

And I hate that. I feel AWFUL for him that it IS him. Again, it'd be so much easier if our fertility issues were ME...but they're not.

...

back to work with me.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #15  
August 30th, 2011, 05:18 PM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Philly!
Posts: 11,173
Sorry you're feeling so frustrated...

I honestly don't think any problems are "easier" than others when you just wanna get pg so badly... but I know what you mean. I feel bad that it's me... there have been times where I've apologized to my DH for him having a "broken wife" and that he didn't marry someone who could easily give him babies.

The long and short of it is, none of this is easy... It all hurts and sucks. But I keep telling myself that for all we've gone through... when we get there, it will be that much sweeter.

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  #16  
August 30th, 2011, 07:44 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
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Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749
Thanks for the reply, Nikki!! That's what a friend of mine at work (who knows what I'm going through) keeps saying...that when it DOES happen we will love and cherish him or her so much more than anyone ever has!!

I know - what's also extremely frustrating - is the news. Another woman here in Indy has been arrested for having killed her 2 month old baby...it's like really?!!! This may sound harsh - but sometimes I think I'm all for forced sterilization. There are just some people who should not be allowed to procreate! It just absolutely breaks my heart every time I hear stories like this (and I swear it's easily once/twice a month!) What I (or you, or so many others here) wouldn't give to just hold those babies and tell them it's going to be ok.

Found out, too, today - another woman at work (a little older than me, at least - none of the "youngin's" that HAVE been getting pregnant) is 3 months pregnant. I'm very happy for her - but still every time another woman at work is pregnant and I'm not...well I'm sure you know!

::

Sorry to be a downer today - but it IS the beginning of my cycle...so of course i'm not in a good mood! haha.
__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #17  
August 31st, 2011, 05:02 AM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: South Philly!
Posts: 11,173
I hear ya. Those news stories make my blood boil. I was flipping through the channels one day last week and ran across Dr. Phil... he had a woman on there who was 5 months pg and using drugs. I was like... "you piece of ****!" What I wouldn't do to have that baby, ya know? GRRR!!!

No need to apologize... I'm having a crap day myself with a fever of 101.87! So we can pity party together if you like!!
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  #18  
August 31st, 2011, 07:24 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Coley View Post
I hear ya. Those news stories make my blood boil. I was flipping through the channels one day last week and ran across Dr. Phil... he had a woman on there who was 5 months pg and using drugs. I was like... "you piece of ****!" What I wouldn't do to have that baby, ya know? GRRR!!!

No need to apologize... I'm having a crap day myself with a fever of 101.87! So we can pity party together if you like!!


hope you feel better!!!!

Today is the "true" first day of my cycle - which means cramps! ugh.

I am working from home today, though, which is always nice - but I'm only working from home because the flooring guy is coming out to do measurements/get what he needs to get the ball rolling on doing our floors!!!!! yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm getting excited about some of the house renovations we're sorta "forced" to do now...we've been wanting to do the floors in the kitchen for the longest time (but no way in hell would we have $2000 to do it...so while it SUCKS what happened with the fridge water line busting - it's a blessing in disguise...thing is, too, our basement flooded directly under our kitchen (it was "raining" in the basement! lol) right where there were some built in shelves...and I mean real hard wood NAILED and SCREWED into the concrete...

When we first moved in = and really up until a few weeks ago - I've always liked the shelves there...but with everything that happened we decided to remove them (pictures to follow...) last Saturday...

We knew we had some mold behind the shelves - but ionce it was all removed it was disgusting! So I bleached and took a brush with soapy water to the wall - cleaned it all up and we now have two coats of drylok on the wall and it looks A-mazing!

course the floor does not (as it's a wet basement, unfinished, but we do have a lot of stuff down there - a futon, TV, pool table, etc...) as it's USABLE space, we've just neglected it - and everytime it DOES rain bad, we get really bad seepage - which has ruined the paint on the floor...so I'm going to concentrate all my extra time now (to get my mind off of baby makin'...) on dryloking the entire basement and then re-painting the floor!!!

Where we HAD the shelves - we bought some wire shelves we can use to store canned goods and other kitchen stuff (we also have a tiny 100 square foot kitchen...) so it'll be SO nice to have a "pantry"!

Course, what I had in those shelves, before, was all of my scrapbooking material (thankfully it was all in plastic bins and did not get ruined...) but I am going to go through and condenese a lot of it, get rid of some, keep only what I need...

So I'm excited about re-doing stuff in the house! Little by little, as that drylok is $24 / gallon - and we HAVE to have 2 gallons to do even just a small wall...I'm thinking we'll need 2 - 5 gallon buckets to do the entire basement - which are $100 each!

THEN i will work on the floors...but it'll be worth it!

So the water accident in the kitchen truly is a blessing in disguise - kick our butts into working on things we've been neglecting!
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TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #19  
September 5th, 2011, 07:47 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,749


I love my husband...he is amazing...but sometimes he's also frustrating.

He is SUCH an optimist, thinking things will just happen naturally. Everytime I try to talk to him about what our options are he keeps telling me "we're not at that point yet"...

um yeah. we are. BOTH my gyn and his (who saw his SA when he had it done) have said "your only option is IVF with ICSI" - which, of course - our insurance will not pay for.

He has low T, low count, low motility AND 0% morphology.

Now - granted, he IS on clomid and I really hope that helps - but I just don't see it happening when the morph # is 0%.

I'm sure some of you out there know how heart-breaking it is to see so many friends/co-workers who are getting pregnant and having babies...or going out and just seeing a mother and their young child...my heart just absolutely yearns for that.

For the longest time - honestly - I did not have that "omg I NEED to be a mommy feeling." Even at the beginning of going off of BC and TTC last year...

but now?! I just feel so un-complete. Like something is missing. and. it. sucks.

__________________
- -
-
TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
Reply With Quote
  #20  
September 6th, 2011, 04:41 AM
DaniM0820's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Pottstown, PA
Posts: 3,041
How long has your DH been taking Clomid? Has he had another SA done since being on Clomid to see if it's working?

I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated, but a lot of times guys just say "optimistic" things because that's what they think you want to hear My DH will say things like that but I usually have to smack him back to reality They just don't understand how frustrating it is and that I DON'T want to hear the best case scenerio, I want to hear the realistic version.

I hope the Clomid does work for him though and you are able to get your sticky bean naturally.

Is there anything else your DH can take? What about TCM? It works for so many women I wonder if there are any benefits for men?
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