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TTC My First Baby Journal


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  #1  
October 1st, 2011, 07:36 PM
meggie2685
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Ha, just had a thought run across my mind as I typed my title. My mom wrote a journal when she first found out she was pregnant with me (so a little different but similar) and it was in this pink notebook. Lol. Now our generation is all about computers and electronics, so of course we write journals online! Love it!!

Anyways, just to introduce myself a bit, I am Meghan and DH is Rafael. We are 26 (me) and 28 (obviously him!). We've been married for just over four years. We have been NTNP since we got married and then TTC for the last three months. Our marriage has been through a lot of trials, but we are in a really good place now. We are in our own home (a mobile home, but granted, its a home!) we own our own car, I have a good job, my husband is in school right now so he can have a solid job. We have a really good relationship now. So, I am hoping there is nothing wrong with either of us. We are very religious (LDS) and I just have always felt we wouldn't have a baby until we had accomplished certain things, and we are about to accomplish it so I am really hoping that it happens soon. Ok, I'm actually hoping that we did it this month. We've BD'd a lot more than we ever have before and used preseed and OPK's. So, hopefully we have done it and made a baby!

Its been a difficult thing for me to not be able to conceive right away. I've always loved kids (right now I'm a teacher at a preschool) and I have always wanted to be a mom. That was always my number one goal. I spent a while where I was bitter and jealous every time I saw that someone was pregnant. I would just get this sick feeling in my stomach. I would try to not have it, but it was an involuntary thing! But lately I've been trying to think positive. Trying to trust God and have faith that when the time is right, we will be blessed to be parents. 2 of the women I work with (and our preschool employs about 15 girls) is pregnant and at first it was hard to see them every day. But now, I just try to be happy for what they have and just know that someday I too will have that. I can go to the grocery store and see pregnant women without feeling jealous. I can go to church and see people with 3 little kids AND a pregnant belly and be happy for them. I am thankful that I've been able to get to this point, cause it makes it much easier to relax and just be happy.

So, anyways, I am right around ovulation time (having a hard time telling with the stupid OPK's i bought) and with my usual period cycle I would be start my next period on October 16. I am hoping it doesn't come this month!! I would be due in June,which is my late Grandma's birthday month, so I am really hoping it happens. Also, my husband and I had weird dreams a couple months ago, I will explain about them in my next post......to be continued......
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  #2  
October 1st, 2011, 08:33 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
Join Date: Aug 2011
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Meghan, I look forward to following your (hopefully short) TTC journey! I'm Adrienne (32) and DH is William (31), and I just got my BFP a few days ago! We had tried for three cycles. I had hoped the third time would be the charm, and it certainly was.

It sounds like you're in a really good place in your life. I'm sure that you know, especially being a woman of faith, that everything really does happen for a reason. And perhaps it just wasn't your time before now.

I wish you the best of luck, and I'll certainly be reading your journal.
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Thanks, *Kiliki*, for the perfect siggy!


Click here to read Jack's baby journal.
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  #3  
October 2nd, 2011, 05:58 AM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Indiana
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!!! as Junie said - hopefully this journal will be short (but sweet!).

This board is absolutely wonderful and the ladies here are incredible. Can't wait to hear more about your journey on becoming a mommy!

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TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #4  
October 2nd, 2011, 11:32 AM
meggie2685
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Ah thank you both for reading/replying to my journal. I am hoping my stay here is short too! Good luck to you both!

So, back to our dreams that I posted about. On June 26th 2011 my husband and I each had a dream. We woke up on June 27th and each thought to ourselves about our dreams, but didn't say anything to each other about it. Later my friend text me and said she was about to adopt her third baby. I was happy for her, but sad that I still didn't even have one. So I text my husband and told him and said, I wish we were having a baby! He text me back and said, "Last night I had a dream that we did" Well, thats weird I thought. So later that night we discussed our dreams. They were as follows. My dream: I was walking in a field so bright and beautiful. All of a sudden in my dream a thought came in to my head. You are pregnant and its a boy, the thought said. I smiled and felt very happy. Then it jumped to awhile in the future and I was holding a baby boy (about 10 months or so) thinking I had made the right choice. My husbands dream: He was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the tub, which was being filled, holding a baby and thinking wow he looks so much like me.

So, simple dreams, but weird that we had them on the exact same night and that in both dreams they were obviously boys. If we are to get pregnant this cycle, we would be due around the end of June.... also, we are going to be having a very spiritual experience the middle of October, which is when I would be able to get a BFP! So, I am keeping my fingers crossed. And saying lots of prayers.

Its interesting. About two months ago we got a call from my mom and she had a friend in Canada (where my mom lives) and she had a daughter in the same state that i live in (western United States) and she was pregnant looking to place her baby for adoption. Well, we got in touch with her she wanted to meet us. We got letters of recommendation, made a scrapbook, met with her. Things went great. We had all sorts of weird coincidences with her. She "Knew" her baby was a boy. I looked at my dream differently. Surely "Suzie" (birth mom) Was the girl in my dream and I was just observing her thoughts and what not. My husbands dream became, wow he is looking at the baby thinking its crazy that he actually looks like him. I thought we would get picked, my mom thought we would, Rafael thought we would, Suzies mom called the baby Suzie/Megans baby. She was sure we would. And we waited and waited and my mom called me one night, crying, and said Suzie had picked another couple. And I could have felt sad/mad/angry that we had all felt so positive about it. But I realized that God has a plan for me. And maybe Suzie had a role in teaching me something. But her baby was not meant for me, and I had to accept that. So now our dreams have gone back to meaning I will have a baby. And the part where I think I made the right choice I have decided is because about a year and a half ago, my husband and I had many things go wrong in our marriage. I had to decide if I wanted to stay with him or not. Well, I decided to stay with him, but there were times in the beginning I questioned my choice. So I believe in my dream it was me thinking, I am so glad I chose to stay with Rafael and now have this beautiful baby!
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  #5  
October 2nd, 2011, 12:07 PM
meggie2685
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Junie22: I've seen you around and I am so excited you got your BFP!! I hope you have a H&H 9 months!!!

IndyMommyWannabe: I've also seen you around! Good luck to you. I hope we both get a BFP soon!

Also, I decided since i don't have a baby to post a pic of, I would post a baby pic of myself. Lol. So thats who the baby is in the pic!
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  #6  
October 2nd, 2011, 12:16 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meggie2685 View Post
Junie22: I've seen you around and I am so excited you got your BFP!! I hope you have a H&H 9 months!!!

Also, I decided since i don't have a baby to post a pic of, I would post a baby pic of myself. Lol. So thats who the baby is in the pic!
Thanks, Meggie! I don't know if it's the pregnancy hormones or what, but your last journal entry just brought tears to my eyes. I'm so glad you're in a good place in your relationship now and that you worked through the difficult times. I hope your dreams come true very soon.
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Thanks, *Kiliki*, for the perfect siggy!


Click here to read Jack's baby journal.
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  #7  
October 2nd, 2011, 12:19 PM
meggie2685
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Awe, thanks for sharing it brought tears to your eyes!! Its been a really rough couple years, but the last six months have been really good and the last month even better! I am just feeling so hopeful for this cycle. I am trying to just think positive. If AF comes, then I'll deal with that when it happens. But I am really hoping I won't see AF for awhile!!
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  #8  
October 2nd, 2011, 12:57 PM
meggie2685
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Note to self: buy new OPK's.
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  #9  
October 2nd, 2011, 12:59 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meggie2685 View Post
Note to self: buy new OPK's.
Hopefully you won't need them.
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Thanks, *Kiliki*, for the perfect siggy!


Click here to read Jack's baby journal.
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  #10  
October 2nd, 2011, 01:02 PM
meggie2685
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Lol. True that! I've been using Answer dip sticks and they SUCK!! Still not sure I even got a positive. I think I did. I've read a lot of people having problems with them. Next month (if i need them) i am buying a digital brand!!
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  #11  
October 2nd, 2011, 01:07 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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I used FRERs two cycles ago, and I did not like them. I didn't so much as get even a faint test line.

This successful cycle, I used Internet cheapies from Amazon, and I thought they worked really well. I know some girls get annoyed by them, but I like them just fine.
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Thanks, *Kiliki*, for the perfect siggy!


Click here to read Jack's baby journal.
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  #12  
October 2nd, 2011, 02:18 PM
meggie2685
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Have you ever tried Clearblue? That is what I am thinking of using, but maybe I should look at some internet ones, just so its cheaper. But again, fingers crossed I don't need them!!
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  #13  
October 2nd, 2011, 02:38 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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Haven't tried Clearblue, but I know some girls on the TTC board really like them. There's no guessing if your test line is as dark or darker than the control line. You just get your result. They are a lot pricier, though, so it could definitely add up if it takes a few cycles.
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Thanks, *Kiliki*, for the perfect siggy!


Click here to read Jack's baby journal.
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  #14  
October 2nd, 2011, 07:53 PM
meggie2685
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Thanks for the info. I will maybe try them one cycle, but if it takes longer than that, I may just have to buy internet cheap ones!

So, tonight we went to my inlaws. I have a really good relationship with my father in law, a mediocre relationship with my mother in law (she has always been a career woman and just doesn't understand my desire to be a mom and a stay at home mom at that!) and then my husband has two sisters and a brother. My husband was adopted at age 12 along with his biological sister, who was 6. His parents had an 8 year old girl and a 10 year old son who were their biological children. Needless to say, they are quite an interesting mix. My husband and his bio sister are from Brazil, darker skin, darker hair, darker eyes. My husbands other siblings are blue eyed, one has blond hair, one has red hair, very fair skin. His brothers wife is very blond haired, blue eyed. We stick out both in looks and other things. His youngest sister has a baby, he's almost 2, so I guess not baby anymore. Its hard cause she was only 21 when she had him, so not very young but she wasn't married and he wasn't planned at all. She still lives at home with him and her parents. My husbands brother and sister in law visit quite a bit so they are very close to the baby, and it sucks cause I work with kids and I am good with kids. Thats something I have always been good at, kids have always loved me. Then my own nephew comes along and he doesn't. I think its mostly just that we don't visit as often, but it still hurts! Tonight I just kept thinking, hopefully soon I will have my own baby and then it won't hurt as much that my nephew likes everyone else in the family better than me and my husband.
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  #15  
October 3rd, 2011, 03:37 PM
meggie2685
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So, that last message was kind of a downer one. But today I am feeling much more positive.
Today at work was insane. I work with 2-3 year olds at a preschool/daycare and it was a crazy day. We have several kids with chaotic households (grandparents raising them, dad running for political office, parents that travel) and it really comes out in how the kids behave. They seek out attention and its so sad because we have so many kids that we can't give those kids one on one attention all day long. We try to give it to them as much as we can, but its challenging.

Ok, so that sounded down also! But on a positive note I was reading a TTC journal on another website and the girl was talking about her husband. He sounded horrible. Not supportive at all, mean to her, made her get rid of things that meant a lot to her. I didn't read all of it so maybe he got better before the baby was born (hers was a TTC/pregnancy journal) but it made me so appreciative of Rafael. He is by no means perfect and we have both had our issues in our marriage, but he is so good to me now, and so excited to be starting this journey of parenthood with me and it makes me feel so blessed. And it makes me also so thankful for a mom who is so supportive of us and willing to help us in any way she can. I am feeling pretty blessed right now. And thinking a baby would just add to that feeling. A baby a couple years ago would have added stress. I would have loved him/her and I would have been ecstatic to be a mom, but it would have been really stressful. Now I feel a baby will only enhance what Rafael and I have and will be a blessing to our families and I'm so excited for a baby to come in to our lives!
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  #16  
October 3rd, 2011, 04:14 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meggie2685 View Post
Now I feel a baby will only enhance what Rafael and I have and will be a blessing to our families and I'm so excited for a baby to come in to our lives!
So sweet.
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Thanks, *Kiliki*, for the perfect siggy!


Click here to read Jack's baby journal.
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  #17  
October 3rd, 2011, 04:43 PM
meggie2685
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Thanks! I have thirteen days till I test. I am so nervous to get my hopes up and at the same time, I can't deny it. They are UP!
So.......with that said I am trying to think positive but also prepare myself for AF coming. It has been forever of NTNP that it kind of in a way seems impossible that we could only TTC seriously for a couple months and actually get pregnant....
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  #18  
October 3rd, 2011, 05:52 PM
meggie2685
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So, I thought I'd already ovulated, however I took an OPK because I had like 2 left and just thought I'd use one, well apparently I hadn't because I am pretty sure I got what looks like a positive today. So apparently I will ovulate tomorrow probably? I hate these stupid OPK's. But I guess I won't if I actually get pregnant this cycle! I am a bit worried because my cycle is 35 days long, and I feel like day 23 is kind of late to ovulate, but I'm hoping I can still get pregnant....
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  #19  
October 3rd, 2011, 06:24 PM
meggie2685
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Time to write about my favorite thing:
COINCIDENCES!! Except, I don't believe in coincidences, I believe in God having a plan for us! Anyways, here they are:

Dreams about having a baby boy, DH and I both have them on June 26, 2011.
TTC in July, no luck. Take time off in August because I was on medicine and couldn't BD during that time. Try again in September. Think I ovulate around CD20. Take a test on CD22 (OPK) and get a positive. Decide I am ovulating on CD23. Type that in Due date calendar. EDD:...........................................Jun e 26. It just feels weird I would decide to test again cause I was thinking about calling it quits for BD since we'd been doing it quite a bit, I was kind of ready for a break. Getting a positive OPK means I'll try a couple days longer. I don't even know why I tested, I just felt I should and I had like 2 tests left so I thought, hey might as well use them up!
Also, my mom hasn't been to see me (we usually go up to Canada to see her) in six years. She finally got all her passport and stuff done so she can come back to the US and she will be here October 12-17. If I get pregnant this cycle she would be here to actually SEE the BFP in person!!! Also, my birthday is January 26 and my grandma (who passed away in 95 and whom I was extremely close to) had a birthday in June. Ah, get it. June (From my grandma) and 26 (from me)! I know I am probably reading in to things (I have a tendency to do that) but I just think the timing on everything could NOT be better. I always wanted a spring/summer baby (hated having my birthday in the dead of winter!) and we could announce to DH's family at Christmas that we were pregnant!! Boo ya! Anyways, thats it for now!
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  #20  
October 3rd, 2011, 06:29 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meggie2685 View Post
Dreams about having a baby boy, DH and I both have them on June 26, 2011.
TTC in July, no luck. Take time off in August because I was on medicine and couldn't BD during that time. Try again in September. Think I ovulate around CD20. Take a test on CD22 (OPK) and get a positive. Decide I am ovulating on CD23. Type that in Due date calendar. EDD:...........................................Jun e 26.
That is amazing! So cool.
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Thanks, *Kiliki*, for the perfect siggy!


Click here to read Jack's baby journal.
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