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Jack's Journal - TTC #1


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  #1  
November 30th, 2011, 12:05 AM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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Intro: I'm Jack (27), and I'm brand new to this site. DH is Hiro (36), and we've been married since 6/7/2007. We are in our very first cycle of TTC #1, and I hope keeping a journal will help me to remain calm and sane during the process, however long it may take.

I started taking a prenatal vitamin on November 1, and we've both cut out all alcohol and caffeine. I never realized a life without wine and coffee could be so much fun! I feel better than ever, and my sleep schedule has been running like clockwork!

I've also started using FertilityFriend to track BBT (since CD 4), CM observations and of course BD.

CD 11: An exciting and stressful place to be. So close to that fertile window and the chance to make our wish come true, but as always, absolutely no guarantee of success.

I'm not sure which day I will be ovulating, only that it's likely to occur between CD 14 and CD 20. I had some stress-related cycle disruption earlier this year that took some time to sort itself out, but I've been using PinkPad to track AF for the past three months. My cycle length seems to be averaging about 32 days.

I'm too early in the process to have much to report, but I'm hoping to use this journal as a place to talk about concerns as they arise, vent, and to keep myself well distracted! I had a couple of bad days where the stress just seemed to overwhelm me. It was very unlike me, and I don't want to let it happen again. It's not good for me, DH or for our chances of getting pregnant. So I hope you ladies won't get sick of me!
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  #2  
November 30th, 2011, 04:22 AM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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I'm looking forward to following your TTC journey, Jack, though I hope it's a short one. Keeping a journal really is a form of therapy while you go through the ups and downs of TTC. Good luck to you!
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  #3  
November 30th, 2011, 02:11 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Glad you started a journal! I hope it helps!
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  #4  
November 30th, 2011, 05:47 PM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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Cycle 1 CD 12

Woke up in a good mood today despite the cold dreariness outside. I'd bought an advent calendar and some holiday herb teas from an import store a couple weeks ago, and since today is December 1st, I enjoyed them both over breakfast. It's nice to have even the smallest of distractions to look forward to, especially now. I've been getting headaches again lately, and I'm pretty sure it's stress-related. I used to get very regular migraines in the past, but they've been almost completely absent for the past year and a half, occurring only at times of very high stress. To start feeling them creep up on me again is scary, and more than ever I want to be sure I'm not getting too wound up with worry about TTC.

DH is getting a cold, which is just one more kink in the works. We tried to BD last night (at his insistence), but it was a no-go. I told him we should take it easy for a bit, maybe try on the 2nd or 3rd, and possibly in the morning when he wasn't worn out from work. I still feel too early in my cycle to be overly concerned about missing opportunities, but I would be lying if I said I wasn't still worried about it. I wish there were neon lights and the sound of angels singing just before I ovulate. Anyway, since my cycles seem to run a bit long, I'm hoping I've got a few "extra" days before we really have to get to business.

I'm also feeling like I have less CM than usual, though it could also be that I'm just paying more attention now. Still, I've never had any "lubrication" issues unless it was the first couple days after AF, but I'm having them now. I think it's making things even harder because DH might be getting the impression that I'm not "into it", which is definitely not the case. I don't mean to give you ladies TMI, but I'm really wondering what's going on! Like everything else, I suppose it could just be stress.

It's still quite early in the day here, but I wanted to post in case I lose this headache battle and end up away from the computer all day. I've actually started to feel better while typing this entry, so I'm hoping that's a good sign!
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  #5  
November 30th, 2011, 07:35 PM
IndyMommyWannabe's Avatar Always Hoping & Praying
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jack!

(again) welcome to the board! that's all. I hope your stay is short and sweet!
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TTC since March 2010 (too darn long) - 4 years, 2 months and counting... / Severe MFI / Stage 1 Endometriosis

IVF=ONLY option

October 2012 = Fresh IVF #1 - retrieved 8, 6 fertilized. Transfer 2. Fail.March 2013 = Frozen #1 - Transfer 2 of 4 left. Fail.
February 2014 = Frozen #2 - Transfer remaining 2 - IMPLANTATION!
8 weeks, D&C - blighted ovum - Triploidy


July 2014 = Fresh IVF #2!


"Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us!"

Come visit my blog/journal to learn more about our journey - Our Adventure through Infertility
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  #6  
December 2nd, 2011, 12:04 AM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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Cycle 1 CD 13

I felt OK for awhile yesterday, but I did end up getting a migraine. I vomited a few times and then went to bed where I stayed for the rest of the night. After such a long period of relief from these migraines, it really sucks to have had two so close together (I also had one on Nov. 22). Although it has passed, I still feel a pressure in my head and am worried that there might be another on the way. This is just what I need!

Oddly enough, I FEEL calm. I feel like the distractions and techniques I'm using are working to reduce my stress, yet signs seem to suggest that subconsciously "stuff" is still being worried over! It's more than a bit frustrating.

Also, DH has to go in to work tomorrow. I was really looking forward to spending some down time with him before we need to focus on getting back to BD. My cycles tend to run long, but as this is my first time seriously charting, I'm not exactly sure when I normally O. Of course this makes ME want to BD every day from tomorrow on, but I know I can't put too much pressure on DH. If we could just BD every other day starting tomorrow, and maybe every day once I'm noticing EWCM...well that would work for me!

But wait, there's more!

DH has an appointment for the 7th at a nearby hospital. It's nothing serious, but he's had some unexplained digestive issues that come and go for the past few months. It's been better lately, so it hasn't affected us TTC. Anyway, he's had tests and even a scope that checked his esophagus and stomach, and everything was good. The last test he's having is going to be another scope, this time to check his intestines. You know what that means - very little food the day before. The 6th and 7th are days that are likely to be my highly fertile days, and who knows, I might even O during that time. So this is really worrying me. If he's not up to BD, there isn't much I can do. I'll definitely try and get him up to it though, if you know what I mean.

I know this whole post sounds a bit grim, but I'm actually in good spirits. The day after a migraine I'm always happy. It's funny how we sometimes take for granted how good it feels to just be "fine".
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  #7  
December 3rd, 2011, 02:59 PM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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Cycle 1 CD 15

Yesterday went really well. No pressure in my head, lots of relaxation, and an evening BD that was completely stress-free. I was worried DH would be tired or stressed from work, but he was just the opposite! I get the feeling I'm getting close to my fertile window (if I'm not in it already - I mean, I'm not getting EWCM yet, but I'm noticing in general CM is more plentiful now), maybe he senses something too!

Today is clear and beautiful. From my balcony I can see Mt. Fuji (though it's very far from where I live), and for a few weeks now the top of it has been covered in snow! From our previous home, we couldn't see anything but buildings and a few train lines, not much sky at all. Now on one side we have a grassy hill with a walking path on it. It separates the neighborhood from a much larger grassy area with baseball fields and the like, and then past that is the river. It's a definite improvement!

We moved out of Tokyo about 5-6 months ago in order to have a larger place to start our family in. I can't imagine the joy we will feel when we get our BFP, but every day I look forward to experiencing that moment and all that will follow. In fact, I wish everyone on the entire board would just get one BFP after another!

As you can tell I haven't much to report about yesterday, or today so far (it's not even 8am)! Before I go off on any more tangents, I'll just wish all of you the best of luck!
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  #8  
December 3rd, 2011, 06:48 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That sounds beautiful, Jack! Weird how you are a few days ahead of me in charting, but I think I may have just ovulated. Just goes to show everyone's cycle is different! Good luck and baby dust to you, too!
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  #9  
December 4th, 2011, 04:16 PM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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Cycle 1 CD 16

Yesterday DH and I did a little online shopping. Among other things, we ordered some OPKs and a new thermometer. While doing some research on the items we were looking at, we came across some interesting information. Contrary to what I thought, it IS possible to purchase OPKs here in Japan without seeing a doctor. They aren't displayed in the pharmacy, and are only sold in pharmacies and clinics that produce medicines, but ask at the counter, and you shall receive! Since it was only a ten-minute walk, we rushed out to buy one. It's just a pack of seven tests, and was pretty expensive compared to what we bought online (naturally). I'm going to use the first one today. If anyone has any tips or suggestions, do let me know! My plan is to try not to pee or drink too much water from around 10am (a few different sites suggested this), and then do the test around 2pm.

I'm really hoping I haven't missed it yet! According to the instructions that came with the test, I'm supposed to start testing 17 days before my next expected period. Coincidentally, that's today! But online, a couple sites recommended testing from CD 11 or 12 based on the length of my shortest cycle from the past six months. I think my cycles run long more often than not, though, so I'm hoping I'm still able to catch it.

That's really all I have to report on so far today. I'm excited to try the OPK, and also nervous as to when I will ovulate, the possibility of having missed it, if I did miss it were we "covered", etc. I guess there are always going to be worries from now on, huh? First TTC, then pregnancy, then a baby, and it doesn't even stop there! I suppose the key is to keep the worries in check. So far, so good!
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  #10  
December 4th, 2011, 06:49 PM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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Really frustrated with how long it takes posts to show up! The site also tends to completely freeze and stop working on me as well, sometimes losing whatever I typed. Going to take some deep breaths and come back later. Hopefully the entry I typed out earlier will be here by then.

And of course this post I JUST typed goes up right away!


Last edited by HopeTea; December 4th, 2011 at 06:55 PM.
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  #11  
December 4th, 2011, 07:10 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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It gets better once you have 100 posts. I used to have the same thing happen to me all the time. I read that it's a measure to prevent spam.
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  #12  
December 4th, 2011, 07:45 PM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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Thanks, Belita. I understand the preventative measures, but I'm a little impatient. Especially when I'm excited!

Guess I'll just have to hurry up and get my posts past 100!
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  #13  
December 5th, 2011, 04:39 PM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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Cycle 1 - CD 17

I have some tickers in my signature now! Now I feel so official!

Anyway, like I said in my last update post, I now have OPKs. I tested yesterday and it was negative. I'm thinking it should be soon, but I'm not stressing over it. If it happens, I should catch it, right? That's a huge improvement over all I had before yesterday.

I am having a weird symptom I wanted to run by you guys, though. I might even post this as a separate topic. Last night and this morning I had some cramping, the kind I sometimes (though not always) get before my period. It's very unusual for me. I'm not stressed (if anything I'm much less stressed than I have been, thanks to the OPKs) and nothing in my diet lately has been new or unusual, so I'm not sure what this means if anything. Has anyone experienced anything like this?

I hope the OPK is negative today, and positive tomorrow. Today is the day DH can't eat much. I will gladly be up for BD if he is, but I doubt he'll have any extra energy. Tomorrow is his test, but after that, he'll be able to have a nice big meal! So then we could BD tomorrow and the next day, and all would be well. Too bad we can't just schedule O, huh?
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  #14  
December 6th, 2011, 04:31 PM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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Cycle 1 CD 18

The crampy feeling I had yesterday continued off an on throughout the day and on to this morning. At the moment I feel fine, but I'm a bit confused as to what might be causing this. I'm just hoping it will go away and stay away. I really don't need anything to stress over! It also caused me to forget to temp this morning when I first got up, so I just did it as soon as I remembered (maybe 15 minutes after getting up).

Today is DH's Dr. appt. After that, he's off work for the whole day. It would be a great day to get a positive OPK result!
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  #15  
December 6th, 2011, 05:43 PM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm not good at reading charts yet, so I hope someone else comes to give you advice, but I'm CD14 and I ovulated on Saturday. It looks like you had a temp spike on CD14. I hope you didn't miss your ovulation! You should hopefully be okay since FF didn't give you crosshairs yet. I'd probably BD just in case. I had cramping like that a couple of days ago.

Good luck!
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  #16  
December 6th, 2011, 06:52 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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I sometimes get mild crampiness before O, not just in my ovary but also uterus. Usually it's just in my ovary, but it's not out of the question to have mild cramps otherwise.

Your temp jump this morning is a little odd, but since you temped after getting up, that could explain it. I really hope you get that +OPK soon!
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  #17  
December 6th, 2011, 07:09 PM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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I'm glad to hear you ladies have experienced mid-cycle cramping as well (because that means it must be somewhat normal, not that I want you all in pain ). I do occasionally get pre-ovulation ovary pain, but I've never experienced actual cramps before.

It's unfortunate that I forgot to temp today upon first waking. I know the reading isn't accurate, but I put it up anyway just so I didn't have any more missing days. If I don't get my BFP this month, next months temps will be MUCH more accurate (new BBT thermometer is in the mail)!

I'm also hoping I get my positive OPK soon! In fact, today would really be great timing!
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  #18  
December 8th, 2011, 06:21 PM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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Cycle 1 CD 20

Well...it's been a rough couple days. Still no positive OPK, and if I leave in the inaccurate temp from CD 18, FF detects O on CD 16. I'm hoping since my temps aren't accurate, neither is FF's assessment. If my O really was on CD 16, it's unlikely I would be pregnant since the closest BD was two days earlier.

My new BBT thermometer arrived yesterday, so today I checked my temp using both. I put the old thermometers data on FF, but I noted both temps. To show you just how inaccurate the first thermometer is, today it read 35.4. I took a reading with the new one RIGHT after, and it read 36.74!

About the pain and cramping I was having before, I think DH figured out what it could have been. A new tea I started drinking had candle bush in it. Online it says that it can cause cramping, stomach pain and diarrhea. I stopped drinking it and the cramps are gone now, so maybe that's all it was! Definitely throwing out that tea.

Anyway, I'm trying not to get discouraged, no matter what happens. I won't lie, I've been in low spirits, but I know it will get better. Even if I missed my O, another chance will be here soon. The thing that bothers me most isn't that I probably won't be pregnant this month, it's knowing that the reason could be that we didn't do all we could do. We should've looked into getting the OPK's sooner, I should've started out with an accurate thermometer, and we shouldn't have put off BD for so many days. But feeling this kind of regret serves no purpose, so I'll have to get over it.

I'm still holding out hope that one of my last three tests will be positive, and I will have worried about all this for nothing. I know it's possible to O this late if you have a long cycle. If these last three tests are all negative, I'll have no choice but to accept that I've missed it and wait for the next cycle to start. The silver lining is that we'll be more prepared next time. A LOT more prepared.
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  #19  
December 8th, 2011, 06:31 PM
Mom2JDub's Avatar (formerly junie22)
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I've gone through three different thermometers, and they always gave me different readings, each one. It's very frustrating how much of a difference they can be.

While this cycle of charting might be totally off, I know you'll get back on track next cycle... if you don't have a BFP before then. I'll be crossing fingers for you.
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  #20  
December 8th, 2011, 06:43 PM
HopeTea's Avatar Cautiously expecting #1
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Thanks, Adrienne. Like I said, if this month is out, next month I'll be as prepared as a person can be. I'll be hoping for some kind of miracle until the very end, though. The show isn't over until AF sings!
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