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Jenny's TTC #1 Journal


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  #101  
April 18th, 2012, 08:55 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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I know that feeling, and I'm sorry you feel that way. It took me a good long while to stop feeling that way. I think once a couple years back I had a nice good cry about it, and DH told me spent a good long while reassuring me that it wasn't "my" fault or "his" fault, it was just the way it was. I think it was also around that time that I stopped charting, temping, JMing, and just "went with it" for a while. I needed that mental break, and when I came back, I felt refreshed.

On a lighter note, even with the open circle, your temp is back up!
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  #102  
April 18th, 2012, 09:20 AM
blueeyes25s's Avatar Expecting #1
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I am so sorry Jenny. Just remember that there was nothing you could have done to prevent this and you DH knows its not your fault nor did you let him down. You will get your bean . Just keep trying. Your temps are looking good.

Did your DH get an SA done at a RE clinic? When I was quoted a price that was through an RE and w/o insurance. I'm wondering if I were to have it submitted to our insurance company if that would make a difference???
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  #103  
April 18th, 2012, 10:57 AM
JennyLee's Avatar TTC #1 after loss
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Posts: 3,034
Thanks ladies. I know he doesn't think it's my fault at all, it just makes me sad to make him sad when I have to tell him it's a no. I slept like poo last night, which is why I have the open circle. I was tossing and turning before I temped, so it's probaly artificially elevated.

Dawn, the Physician's Assistant I see ordered the SA, and we just dropped it off at a medical lab. I imagine it would cost a lot more to do it at an RE clinic. I would see if either your OB or his doctor can just order it. If your insurance covers it, it shoud be cheaper if you submit it.
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Jenny (30) & Scott (37)
TTC #1 since 1/11, Unexplained Infertility
M/C 2/12
Polyp Removal 11/12
4 failed IUIs

IVF #1
Started stims 9/27
ER 10/8 - 24 eggs, 15 fertilized!
Blast transfer 10/13, 4 snowbabies
Very faint 10/18 (5dp5dt)
Beta #1 10/23 - 339!!!
Beta #2 10/25 - 856!!!
U/S 11/14 - Heart rate 144!




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  #104  
April 18th, 2012, 12:34 PM
blueeyes25s's Avatar Expecting #1
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Location: Green Bay, WI
Posts: 4,186
I will have to check into that option. Thanks!
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  #105  
April 19th, 2012, 06:23 PM
JennyLee's Avatar TTC #1 after loss
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 3,034
12 DPO. Still lots of cramping and twinges. Had some spotting today - just on the TP after (TMI) #2. I'm sure it's AF coming, though I should have a few more days. I will test tomorrow, either before or after work, so I can have some beers with DH tomorrow night when it's a bfn. I may know as soon as I temp - wouldn't be surprised if it took a dive.

DH got home nice and early tonight (yay) and I made Chicken Enchilada Pasta (Pinterest). I cooked the chicken in the crockpot all day and shredded it when I got home. Topped it with avocado (my portion only), crushed tortilla chips, extra cheese and sour cream - yum!

Tomorrow will be busy at work, but come 4:00, I'm FREE! Hoping to get a lot of outdoor stuff done this weekend, including another attempt at that dang shed!
__________________
Jenny (30) & Scott (37)
TTC #1 since 1/11, Unexplained Infertility
M/C 2/12
Polyp Removal 11/12
4 failed IUIs

IVF #1
Started stims 9/27
ER 10/8 - 24 eggs, 15 fertilized!
Blast transfer 10/13, 4 snowbabies
Very faint 10/18 (5dp5dt)
Beta #1 10/23 - 339!!!
Beta #2 10/25 - 856!!!
U/S 11/14 - Heart rate 144!




My Belly Pics
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  #106  
April 19th, 2012, 06:42 PM
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YUMMMMMMMMMMMM...just pinned, but gave you credit
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Our TTC Journey | View my pregnancy journals here or here
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  #107  
April 20th, 2012, 07:51 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 12,105
Trying to conceive once you've been through a loss is so hard. I'm so sorry you're suffering.

That chicken enchilada pasta recipe sounds delicious!!
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  #108  
April 20th, 2012, 02:38 PM
JennyLee's Avatar TTC #1 after loss
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 3,034
Increasing spotting today - it has become apparent that AF is starting and I'm really not taking it well. The only thing that got me through the m/c was telling myself we would conceive again soon. I just can't bear the thought of it taking another year (or more) to get another bfp. I'm sick of being sad all the time. I'm sick of being jealous of my friends and family that are pregnant or have children. I can no longer distract myself by thinking of how much fun I can have this summer now that I'm not pregnant - it's so not worth it. I'm supposed to be 14 weeks pregnant, not mourning another failed cycle. Sorry about the pity party. I just don't have anything positive to say right now.
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Jenny (30) & Scott (37)
TTC #1 since 1/11, Unexplained Infertility
M/C 2/12
Polyp Removal 11/12
4 failed IUIs

IVF #1
Started stims 9/27
ER 10/8 - 24 eggs, 15 fertilized!
Blast transfer 10/13, 4 snowbabies
Very faint 10/18 (5dp5dt)
Beta #1 10/23 - 339!!!
Beta #2 10/25 - 856!!!
U/S 11/14 - Heart rate 144!




My Belly Pics
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  #109  
April 20th, 2012, 02:56 PM
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Location: san diego, ca
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I understand, I really do. I've experienced that same thing. After our loss last year, we felt renewed in that at least my body "could" get pg, and had the hope that once it figured out what to do, it would do it again quickly. But here I am, a year later, nada. I completely feel your pain, and I wish I had the magic words to make it better, but I don't. I think the only words I have to offer are those pieces of advice that I give myself. I remind myself that fate has it's way of doing what is right and what is meant to be. That is the ONLY way I have gotten through this many years of TTC with no luck.

I could sit and tell you "don't worry, it will happen," and all that jazz, but I know first hand that this is not what you want/need to hear. I don't care much for when people say that to me either, but I know that oftentimes, they don't know what else to say.

So I'll just give you some virtual hugs, and know that I'm always here if you need me
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  #110  
April 20th, 2012, 04:20 PM
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I couldn't have said it better myself. There's never anything we can say that will make any of this easier or hurt less.

Just know that we all you and are here for you every step of the way!
kbpeanut and KatieKat like this.
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  #111  
April 21st, 2012, 05:55 AM
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to Karin and Nikki. There is nothing we can say to make you feel better and I also know exactly what you are going through.

I hope you have a fun and busy weekend to help take your mind off of it.
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  #112  
April 21st, 2012, 11:21 AM
Belita's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I understand. I still think about how I should be 22 weeks now instead of 10. It sucks.
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  #113  
April 23rd, 2012, 06:12 AM
KatieKat's Avatar TTC #1
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I just wanted to give you some s as well.
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  #114  
April 23rd, 2012, 09:41 AM
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Just droppin in to see how you're doing. Nice work on the shed!
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  #115  
April 23rd, 2012, 04:41 PM
JennyLee's Avatar TTC #1 after loss
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Thanks everyone. Sorry I disappeared for a couple days there. Karin, you are always so right on on what to say/not to say. I didn't post any of that on the main board because I knew I'd just get those platitudes that don't really help at this point. Nothing against the girls who say them, as I know they're just trying to help, and, like you said, don't know what else to say. I know I said the same things back when I was newer, probably to some vets that were annoyed by them at the time. I'm trying to get myself excited for a new cycle and a new chance, but I'm not quite there yet. I do have my followup on Wednesday for all the tests we did before I got pregnant, so hopefully I can get some hope there.

Weekend recap - Well, I'm gonna be honest - I drowned my sorrows Friday night. Not the best way to deal, I know, but it did get my mind off of it for awhile. Before that, though, I did have a good talk with my mom. Although she had 5 children, the first 3 very easily, she struggled with secondary infertility for the 4th, including a miscarriage. She is also going through some emotional stuff right now (the family issues I've referenced before) and was very helpful. I don't know what I'd do without her and the ladies here

Saturday, DH and I were both hungover, and I had pretty bad cramps, so we did pretty much nothing. It was raining anyway, so we couldn't so our outdoor stuff.

Sunday was dry and not very windy, so we attempted the shed again. There was a bit of wind that necessitated the help of a neighbor to hold walls up for a bit, but we got it done! The dang thing isn't stable until you get the roof on, so any breeze at all is a pain. We also got the garlic planted, built the rabbit fence, got some grass seed down where we dug up the sod for the fence, and drilled holes in the bottom of our new whiskey barrel planters. By the time we finished all that, it was after 6:00, and I was tired, so we ordered pizza for dinner and caught up on some dvr recordings.

Tonight, I grabbed some groceries after work and am waiting for DH to get home. He let me know early (for once) that he would be late, so we're just gonna have sloppy joes for dinner. I am thinking about making some spicy fries with garlic cheese sauce (Pinterset, of course) to go with them.

That was a long post, and most of you probably don't care about most of it, so thanks for reading if you made it through!
__________________
Jenny (30) & Scott (37)
TTC #1 since 1/11, Unexplained Infertility
M/C 2/12
Polyp Removal 11/12
4 failed IUIs

IVF #1
Started stims 9/27
ER 10/8 - 24 eggs, 15 fertilized!
Blast transfer 10/13, 4 snowbabies
Very faint 10/18 (5dp5dt)
Beta #1 10/23 - 339!!!
Beta #2 10/25 - 856!!!
U/S 11/14 - Heart rate 144!




My Belly Pics
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  #116  
April 23rd, 2012, 04:57 PM
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Sounds like a pretty productive weekend, if nothing else. All you ladies with yards and gardens and stuff Makes this apartment dweller very jealous!! Hope you continue to heal and are able to get excited for this cycle.
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NTNP since March 2012, TTC since August 2012, HSG = one blocked tube, SA = normal, 1st RE 7/11 - took a zillion tests, 2nd RE appt = Tubal issue with PCOS tendencies, possible polyp, August 2013 - possible polyp, September 2013 - new job, insurance change! January 2014 - new insurance, March 2014 - new RE appointment, then surprise BFP!

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  #117  
April 23rd, 2012, 05:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyLee View Post
That was a long post, and most of you probably don't care about most of it, so thanks for reading if you made it through!
I care! Heck, you think YOUR post was long? Have you seen mine? I write a novel, daily!

Glad you are feeling a bit better, and no worries, everyone here understands the "AF Incognito" phase! And don't you just love Pinterest? I find myself repinning your pins all the time
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Our TTC Journey | View my pregnancy journals here or here
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  #118  
April 23rd, 2012, 05:55 PM
Coley's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We TOTALLY care! I say good for you for letting your hair down, so to speak. I know the hangovers can be rough afterwards, but sometimes it's nice to just let go!

Sounds like you guys got a TON of stuff done! That's the kind of stuff that makes me miss living in a house. There are certainly some benefits to being in an apartment, but this time of year... having a house, even with just a little bit of outdoor space, is really nice.

I keep seeing everyone talk about pinterest. I've gone to the website and I've gotta say... I don't get it. I don't know what I'm looking at. I don't know how it works. I get confused and have to go away.
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  #119  
April 23rd, 2012, 06:14 PM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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Nikki, you have GOT to figure it out. You will be in heaven. Or, rather, you will never do anything else again except pin and repin! I think Jenny and I cook almost our entire weekly meals from pins we find!
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05.24.2011



Our TTC Journey | View my pregnancy journals here or here
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  #120  
April 23rd, 2012, 07:02 PM
JennyLee's Avatar TTC #1 after loss
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 3,034
Nikki - if you just go to the website, what you're looking at are 'pins' from a bunch of random people. As you're surfing the internet, you'll notice 'Pin It' buttons on many websites (you can also out one on your toolbar, as I have). A pin is a picture that links back to the website the image came from. You can pin anything - recipes and craft ideas are common. You can follow people so your feed will show all their pins. The thing is, the pins never end - you can just keep scrolling forever, and you will - just in case there's a great idea one row down...
__________________
Jenny (30) & Scott (37)
TTC #1 since 1/11, Unexplained Infertility
M/C 2/12
Polyp Removal 11/12
4 failed IUIs

IVF #1
Started stims 9/27
ER 10/8 - 24 eggs, 15 fertilized!
Blast transfer 10/13, 4 snowbabies
Very faint 10/18 (5dp5dt)
Beta #1 10/23 - 339!!!
Beta #2 10/25 - 856!!!
U/S 11/14 - Heart rate 144!




My Belly Pics
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