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Ashley's TTC #1 Journal


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  #21  
June 24th, 2012, 06:54 PM
blueeyes25s's Avatar Expecting #1
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I'm sorry about the BFN. Just remember your not out until the :which: shows.
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  #22  
June 24th, 2012, 07:18 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Thanks Dawn. Deep down I know it... but every bfn gets harder. July might be our last cycle for a bit depending on how timing works out for Oing during our trip and when he goes back to work... If timing doesn't work out, we'll be taking a forced break until December
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
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  #23  
June 25th, 2012, 09:12 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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11dpo cycle 4 = bfn.

I need to stop lurking around JM and reading in the ddcs. reading about what to do about visitors after baby arrives, what to pack for the hospital...makes me feel even worse about things not working for us yet.

It also makes the reality that I have 0 support system here in Wisconsin when I have a child other than DH. That is a pretty scary feeling. I do have some friends in neighboring states who I'm sure would jump in their car at a moments notice, but they're all online friends or ones I'm not overly close too.

ARGH. I just want a child, I want to expand my family. I want to give Reme siblings, I want to give Dh another child... I want one of my own. It doesn't seem like too much to ask for, but apparently so far it is.
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
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  #24  
June 26th, 2012, 08:11 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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I know how you feel. Sorry about the BFN. Hang in there...your baby will come...

Last edited by kbpeanut; July 16th, 2012 at 03:22 PM.
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  #25  
June 27th, 2012, 11:46 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Witch showed last night.. and left all her attitude with me. Poor DH. It was just bad news after bad news for me yesterday, I've about had enough of it to be honest.

I'm not sure what I want to do this cycle. It would be a very inconvenient cycle, as we are leaving for Canada on July 30th. I would have barely enough time to confirm a pregnancy with a beta and wouldn't get back until we were nearly 8 weeks. The likelyhood of a doctor giving me something for nausea for our 48hr car trip would be slim... and then I'd have to lie to my family while we were there. I don't feel comfortable telling them before 8-9weeks.

So.. do I want to abstain. Do I want to just shut up and try and realize that I can do everything in the world to get pregnant, if it's not meant to be it won't happen.... do I bang my head off the wall until I feel better? I don't bloody well know.

What I do know, Is I cried a lot last night. That I had horrible dreams. That I'm short tempered and feeling completely devastated. I'm feeling hopeless, and negative about everything.

I may be scarce.. i feel like I need a step back for a bit. I've never actually had a JM break in the 4 years I've been a member... maybe it's time.....
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
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  #26  
June 28th, 2012, 09:27 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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I'm so sorry Ashley. It's hard to tell you what you should do this next cycle. Looking back, there were a couple of cycles where, while we didn't totally abstain from TTC, we certainly didn't give it our all. Knowing what I know now, I think I would have NOT skipped any cycle. But, what is meant to be, will be, and if next cycle is meant to be, then it will be, and if it is, you will work through the challenges. We just sort of had to lie to our best friend, and while we don't like it, it's just the way things are, so I get that.

I say go with what your gut tells you. Give it a few days, think it through, and you will decide what is right for all of you!
xx

Last edited by kbpeanut; July 16th, 2012 at 03:21 PM.
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  #27  
June 29th, 2012, 11:12 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Thanks Karin.

I'm going to be on Antibiotics for a bit I suspect. I made an appointment for Monday, I'm now 100% sure it's a UTI not a stone. I guess that's probably a good sign, but man... I dread having to pee! I feel pretty good other than that at least.

Still not sure what I want to do. We've only DTD twice in going on two weeks... will be at least Tuesday before it's even going to be an option. I can't take anymore Azo until I've been seen.

I told Reme I'm not pregnant. He was convinced last week that I was. He's a little bit upset, he asked me a whole bunch of questions.. more than I really wanted to answer. but he thinks it's awesome that I can pee on stuff that will tell me if I'm having a baby and wishes he was a girl so he could pee on it. LOL. Tonight he wanted to talk baby names. Sometimes I wonder if he's really only 7. He doesn't like my boy choice... he thinks we should call a boy George... while Elliot is our current runner.. and he couldn't even pronounced the girls option (Khalessi) he just said "that's a bad name!"

Part of me wants to try because I don't want to let him down. I'd love to get him a sibling by his birthday next summer. His mom is having surgery this week... her RE found that she has a major case of Fibroid s and she can't do anything until they're removed.. and no guarantee that she'll even be able to conceive. She told DH today he has to knock me up twice, once with a boy for Reme, and once with a girl so she can I can spoil it. I know i have an odd relationship with my husband's ex wife, but this is EXACTLY what he hoped would happen, and it makes Reme so happy. It helps that she's great person.. just didn't mesh with DH.

DH said if we do get it this cycle, we can take a week to drive to Canada if that's what I need (drive by night, sleep by day). I do have some of my anti nausea med left from my kidney stone if I get desperate...I just don't know if it made me sleepy or not since the pain meds made me sleep all day.

I'm still disappointed in last cycle.. but I do feel better. I guess I just needed the AF swings to settle down a bit. Dh asked what I want for Xmas, I told him I want him to get checked out with an SA. An odd request, but he's less likely to tell me no that way. I should hopefully have a full run down by then since I am exhibiting some symptoms of PCOS (hair growth and fat stores being the two big ones).. so though I am ovulating... they could all be duds. Hoping I'll get some weight off this summer and *poof* we'll get preggo!
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
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  #28  
July 6th, 2012, 12:48 AM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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CD 10 for me... so far so good. Had my first batch of ewcm today, a little early, but it will probably dry up a bit tomorrow.

We are doing timed bding this cycle... every other day. big step for us... but I think it'd be good to let dh's swimmers have the extra day to replenish. Course, I slacked off and haven't had any of the fertilitea at all.. grrrr. too late to have a cup tonight, so I'll do it tomorrow.

I'm optimistic, and behaving. I haven't started my opk's.. I'll start those on cd 12 or 13... I usually start them early. I really hope this is it for us!
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
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  #29  
July 6th, 2012, 08:40 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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Fingers and toes crossed. You are doing great with all the extra efforts this cycle. Here's hoping it works!

Last edited by kbpeanut; July 16th, 2012 at 03:21 PM.
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  #30  
July 6th, 2012, 09:18 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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it is CD 11... I should not be seeing this on cd 11 when I usually don't see them until CD 15-16.

Guess he's gonna get it two days in a row...
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~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
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  #31  
July 7th, 2012, 12:55 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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CD 12 taken 14 hours after the one last night... top test is 2 minutes older than the bottom and 1 min expired (cause I was waiting for the bottom one to reach 3 min)

Guess I'm still surging. I think DH is responsible for this... he didn't want to wait a day for some lovins so he's somehow convinced my body to O early. LOL.

I had a headache last night, which is what prompted me to even take the opk. I tend to get a headache when I start to surge, and since the pressure outside didn't bother me when I went out.. I figured there was another reason. Yup.


If this isn't our cycle, next cycle will be pretty near natural. No opk's since we'll be at my grandparents. I will take my bbt and temp though, if I can. Who knows what time of day I'll be hauled outta bed. lol.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
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  #32  
July 7th, 2012, 11:58 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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CD 12 (tehnically 13 since it's past midnight) PM... can't mistake that for a negative!

Started having some twinges in the area of my right ovary this evening. Hoping that's a good sign. My temp was down this morning, I'm hoping it goes up tomorrow or Monday!

I would really love for this to be our cycle. While it wasn't originally my favorite one... I would love to go home to Canada, go back to the cemetery and tell my daddy that I'm pregnant and keeping this one for myself, and making sure he knows I want him to take care of all of the others that went before he did. It will mean we don't get to wait, I could not imagine not letting them share in any time I have pregnant if I'm there with them... it'd just not be fair at all. I was ok with hiding it while I'm not there, to do a big announcement... but letting them in on it now, and doing a big reveal for gender I think would be awesome.

But we shall see! Hoping we're getting the bding in when we need... We have Reme so timing hasn't been all that easy.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
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  #33  
July 9th, 2012, 09:16 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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Here's hoping you caught that eggie!

Last edited by kbpeanut; July 16th, 2012 at 03:22 PM.
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  #34  
July 9th, 2012, 06:44 PM
JennyLee's Avatar TTC #1 after loss
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Looks like you should be fairly well covered, hope you get it!
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Jenny (30) & Scott (37)
TTC #1 since 1/11, Unexplained Infertility
M/C 2/12
Polyp Removal 11/12
4 failed IUIs

IVF #1
Started stims 9/27
ER 10/8 - 24 eggs, 15 fertilized!
Blast transfer 10/13, 4 snowbabies
Very faint 10/18 (5dp5dt)
Beta #1 10/23 - 339!!!
Beta #2 10/25 - 856!!!
U/S 11/14 - Heart rate 144!




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  #35  
July 9th, 2012, 10:05 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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Thanks girls, I'm hoping we have it covered too. He's willing to add a few more bases to make sure though. LOL.

I still have some slippery CM today, which is strange, usually I dry up rather quickly, but I did take a bit of cough syrup yesterday to give me a burst of it.. so it could be from that still.

I'm trying to remain positive! Of course I'll micromanage and analyze everything from now until AF shows, if she does that is.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
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  #36  
July 10th, 2012, 09:14 AM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
...if she does that is.
Well, I for one, vote that she stays away

Last edited by kbpeanut; July 16th, 2012 at 03:22 PM.
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  #37  
July 16th, 2012, 03:02 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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We've all got line eye with my wondfo's right now.. so how knows if she's showing.

What I do know is we may have to take next cycle off. My uti was more severe than they thought and I need a longer treatment plan and have been put on the equivalent of pelvic rest for non pregos, for two weeks. DH is upset, and I am too.... 2 weeks puts is to after we've left for our trip, and I'm due to O right after that. I get what they're trying to do, kill all the bacteria and such with out adding more in.. but dang this sucks

But the good news is I should feel a million times better in two weeks!
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
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  #38  
July 16th, 2012, 03:20 PM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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Wow that does stink for more than one reason. However, looking on the bright side, WOW are you going to feel better! Who knows what this UTI is doing to your chances of conceiving anyway, so while it sucks to deal with this mess right now, it's better for you in the long run!
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  #39  
July 16th, 2012, 05:42 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
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that's what DH is trying to convince me. LOL.

Btw.. when you post in here you so don't have to hide that siggy of yours if you don't want to.



The first round of antibiotics did something.. early O, perfect cycle. None of which has happened before. Hopefully the second round does something better. They're already kicking my butt... high dose = sleepy Ashley.
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
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  #40  
July 16th, 2012, 06:06 PM
kbpeanut's Avatar Scooter!
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I'm glad the antibiotics are doing their job! Side effects or not, you need to get your body healthy!

Quote:
Originally Posted by plan4fate View Post
Btw.. when you post in here you so don't have to hide that siggy of yours if you don't want to.
Thanks! I probably still will, just so other peeps that visit aren't bothered!
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