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Hi ladies! I hope y'all don't mind me starting one of these. I JUST started posting over here in TTC #1, but have been on JM for over a year and haven't started a journal anywhere yet. High time?
So, here's a little about us...
For those who don't know me, I'm Kayla and I've been married to A for just over one year. He has 5 children from his previous marriage to whom I'm a stepmama. We have standard two weekends/month with them (plus a holiday schedule) and dh shares legal custody with their mother. They're wonderful kids and I'm thrilled to be able to share in their lives. The oldest will be 13 next month and the youngest is 3.5 years old.
He and I met online (unexpectedly) we met on an online game of all things and were casual friends for several months before starting to talk on the phone and then deciding to meet up. That was in September-October 2009.
We began to look into the process of moving me down here pretty early on. We officially got engaged in May 2010, and in September 2010 we filed for what's called a class K1 fiance visa - basically, if granted, this visa would allow me to move, marry dh and then file for what's called an adjustment of status. In the mean time, being internationally long distance was *really* hard. Our time together was limited. We visited as often as work schedules and travel costs would allow. When we were together, we made the most of it and when we weren't, we IMed almost constantly and spoke on the phone every day, usually for a few hours. We missed each other terribly. We hated being apart and hated all of the waiting we had to do, waiting without any insight into how close to the top of the pile our petition was, waiting without being able to contact anyone who would actually help us, waiting, waiting, waiting.
In retrospect, I firmly believe that the forced wait time and forced time apart played an important role in our relationship. It forced us to learn how to be effective communicators. It forced us to be appreciative of every second spent together. It forced us to heal from our past relationships and be independent people before fully intertwining our lives with each other. It forced us to talk and talk and talk about anything and everything, about what we both wanted out of life, what we both valued and where we wanted to go together. Communication is something that I feel can always be improved upon, but I look back and see just how valuable all of that time was in our learning curve. I truly attribute a lot of the strength in our relationship to the time apart and the skills it forced us to hone, and am thankful for what was really a blessing in disguise.
Immigration is a long, arduous process. It's fairly linear if you're a legitimate couple, but it is tedious, expensive, frustrating and incredibly unpredictable as far as timelines go. For this reason, we decided early on that we would have a small, civil ceremony to officially marry us shortly after I moved (it has to be within 90 days of entry into the US) and have a larger 'wedding' (renewal of vows would be more accurate, I suppose) later on. The original plan was to have the civil ceremony and the large ceremony on the same days, one year apart. That didn't work out because immigration took too long. I moved in August 2011, nearly a year after filing, and we were married on September 10, 2011. I filed my next set of paperwork in November 2011 and was finally granted my permanent residency at the beginning of July 2012, and our large ceremony took place on July 20, 2012 in Niagara Falls, Ontario (my family is a lot bigger than dh's ). It was everything we had hoped for.
And our TTC journey begins...
I had been on the BCP since late 2009 and came off of them at the end of the May of this year. I had been reading TCOYF for a few weeks and jumped right into charting. I'm on my 4th cycle charting, and 2nd cycle TTC.
We have always planned to have a couple of children together. That said, we wanted to wait until I had moved, until we were married and until we had had our large ceremony. Our honeymoon was this month - we went to Riviera Maya and it was so much fun. We had an amazing time. The plan was to start TTC after this trip.
There were a couple of other things we wanted to fall into place first, but we decided that we were tired of putting our plans on hold on account of outside forces and decided in August that we were ready to move forward (and if that meant I had to drink virgin drinks on our honeymoon, I was okay with that ). So we moved up TTC by a couple of weeks and got a few attempts in - obviously, though, nada. We were disappointed, but had the silver lining of being able to have the honeymoon that we had planned on from the beginning (that is, a drunken one ). The calendar looked like I wouldn't O until we got back from our trip - I've tended to O around CD19 or 20, and with travel added into the mix we figured there was no way I would O before CD17 when we returned home. I had brought a couple of OPKs with me just in case (they don't take up much space, after all!) but didn't really plan to use them.
Well, to our surprise, EWCM showed up early and wouldn't leave. I had 2 negative OPKs earlier in the week, and then got a positive around 6 pm on CD15. They stayed positive until later CD16 when they started to fade and I was having O twinges. Thankfully, we hadn't wasted any time that week . I hadn't been temping because of the time change, temperature change and the fact that I would be consuming more alcohol than usual. We left the next day on CD17, which is when it looks like the O actually took place (I suppose it could have been late CD16 but for sanity's sake I'll just say CD17).
I had a lack of temp jump when we got home, though, so I was concerned. The ladies on NFP/FAM have looked at the chart and they think that it's likely I did O and the temperature weirdness/very slow build was travel related. The temperatures have steadily climbed, so I'm starting to cautiously believe it. My CM and CP both line up with O having happened, and I took an OPK last night on a whim and it was very much negative. So I suppose I'm 5 DPO today. I'm also feeling confident because the EWCM this cycle was of the best quality that I've seen since I started charting.
Cycle 2, CD22/5 DPO
Bring it on, TWW.
I guess that's it for now. If you've read all of this, bless you! I promise not all entries will be this long. Looking forward to getting to know all of you!
Thanks for the welcome! WoW was the game that we met on, actually. Is your dh excited for the expansion coming out next week? I've been reading through other journals the last couple of days (including yours!) but didn't reply to any because I wasn't sure if it would be strange to do so without knowing everyone a little better. I do know Ashley from other boards, but everyone else seems to be a new face.
I'm 23, and my dh is 36 so I'm fairly sure that qualifies as a 'gap'. Having said that, it's really something that we don't notice unless we're talking about what we were doing in a certain year or something like that.
2WW PSA: Countdown to Pregnancy helps neither your patience nor your obsessiveness. You will be tempted to browse everyone else's BFP tests, stare at the 'Stats by DPO' HPT charts trying to determine if you should test early and browsing HPT images by DPO to see just how early real people are getting their BFPs. It's maddening, and it's a trap.
My temperatures have been holding steady in my normal post-o range so that's been reassuring. I haven't noticed a whole lot in the way of "symptoms", but I've also not been looking for them because I really convinced myself last cycle that I was pg and these were symptoms and blah blah blah... and then nada. I think I'm intentionally NOT playing symptom detective this month. I did notice some mild cramps yesterday morning, and my upper hip was aching last night.
The rest of life is okay. There may be some good opportunities for both dh and myself on the horizon. On the flipside, we're dealing with some crazy from my dsc's mom (which is pretty par for the course with this person). I hugely doubt that she's going to get anywhere her latest shenanigans, but it's an annoyance nonetheless. Today is my youngest dsd's birthday (I can't believe she is SIX now - she was three when I met her).
It's interesting how time can simultaneously feel like it's simply FLYING by (when it comes to holidays, birthdays, anniversaries...) and like it's dragging on endlessly (when it comes to 2ww).
Wishing everyone else lots of !
Also, here is a giraffe. For no reason besides I've never seen this emoticon before, and I adore it.
Most of the 23 year olds I know dress less than appropriate, are posting photos all over Facebook of them with wine, and booze, and so drunk they can't stand. I have a lot of 23 year old friends, and 21 year old friends.. cause I have a 21 year old Brother. if I had to peg him at an age, I'd say older too because he's not like the rest of them.
That's why I didn't realize you weren't older. You have a great maturity about you. But if it makes you feel better, I was thinking 25/26. lol. It wasn't like I thought you were in your 30's.
Aw, thanks! That made me smile. I got that (later 20s) at my last job too.
I guess I do have a dh with some early salt and pepper going on (which I ) and a full beard (he looks like a baby face when he shaves which isn't a bad thing - just different from the full beard look) so I'm sure that plays into some people thinking that I'm a little older than I am too.
Just wanted to say hi and welcome! So far journalling has been a great experience. I look forward to the day when I'm pregnant and I can reread my journal entries! Hopefully you'll have a super quick journal that will lead to a ttc #1 graduate journal! GL and KUP!
P.S. LOVE the giraffe emoticon!
__________________ TTCing since August 2011
Me (33)-LP on the short side, but no other abnormalities
DH (37)-slightly subfertile morphology and motility
Natural cycles-August 2011-July 2012
August 2012-October 2012 clomid and progesterone
December 2012, cysts from IUI, on bcp
January 2013-February 2013, long protocol IVF
15 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI
All 7 made it to 5 day transfer, 2 were transferred
Only 1 frozen snowbaby
I'm about 1400-1500 km from my hometown, so it was a pretty big move!
My family does live up there. We obviously don't/can't visit as much as we'd like to, but we do make trips as often as possible. This year we went up in May (although, the circumstances weren't good - we went up because I was losing my grandpa) and also in July. We'd like to go back for Christmas but a lot of that is dependent on work flexibility.
I talk to them on a regular basis though. I've never used Facebook so much and we have a VoIP phone line so calling isn't a problem.
After some brief hope with what must have been an evap yesterday morning, it looks like we're out this month. I've been cramping and twinging (mildly but consistently) all afternoon, and just started spotting around 30 minutes ago. I'm guessing it will be full force tomorrow.
I'm really upset about my luteal phase, and the fact that it might not be improving after all. It was 10 days the first cycle post-bcp, and has hovered between 11-12 (I've been guessing, O was a little hard to pin point in cycles 2 and 3)) and this month looks like another 11 day LP.
I'm debating adding in some things this cycle, either Fertilitea or progesterone cream or both. I'm also wondering about some kind of B vitamins. I haven't had time to look into it in depth this week, but those of you with experience with those things or with shorter LPs or late-ish O (although it really isn't happening THAT late; I'm just impatient) definitely feel free to chime in with your experiences and recommendations.
B12 did nothing for me.
B6 took me from a 9/10 day lp to a 10/11 day lp but I never got any longer
Fertilitea took my O from cd 16/17 to Cd 12/13/14 (and I got pregnant)
Progesterone took most of my post O symptoms away, which was nice.
I've discovered some stuff about fertilitea/vitex. Don't follow the instructions. LOL. the bag says to drink 1-3 cups at will until pregnancy is obtained. But Vitex is only recommended from CD5 until AF shows up, you need to 5 days to allow your hormones to crash.
I havent tried anything to bring forward O or lengthen my LP but I know a few people on here have used a combination of B6/B12 to lengthen their LPs and it seems to give an extra day or so but it did take a couple of months to see the benfit
FXd that whatever you decide to do gives you your BFP