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Sam's TTC #1 Journal


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  #1  
March 27th, 2013, 10:42 AM
Nerd
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
Welcome to my journal. It won't be anything fantastic. But with a little luck (and some medical intervention) then maybe it won't be very long.

I'm Sam. I'm 24 years old, married, and still in school. In fact, I'll probably be in school forever. I'm studying biostatistics which is the statistics of biology. Potential carrier paths include working as a data analyst, consulting, grant writing, or teaching. In my spare time I teach Les Mills RPM, babysit, and cycle.

I discontinued the BCP in December with high hopes that we would be able to conceive right away and have a baby in between semesters. It doesn't seem like that's happening. I've only had one completely natural period since coming off of the pill. I had my withdrawal bleed, a 43 day cycle, a bleed, and I'm working on CD 62 now. Talk about frustrating!

After consulting with my doctor she suggested a couple of things. First, she prescribed progesterone to bring on my period. I take two gigantic gel caps at night for 10 days. Once the progesterone has built up in my body then when it doesn't get any more and the levels fall then I should get my period. Tonight will be day 9 of 10. Thank goodness.

Begin mini rant: I have been absolutely white-knuckling it for days and days. The progesterone hasn't set well with my body. I've cried once a day every day, I've had sudden onset anger like I haven't experienced since I was a teen, and I've had the worst sugar cravings. I can't help myself. I eat oreos and waffles for breakfast. Cake for lunch. Ice cream and fruit for dinner. FOR NINE DAYS. I haven't had this type of sugar NEED since I gave up a bad habit about 5 years ago. It's not natural. I don't like how it feels. On a normal day I couldn't eat an entire box of devil's foodcake cookies. I wouldn't. But right now I NEED it. But the torture is almost over. If this medicine didn't have anything to do with getting pregnant then I would have stopped it on day 3. I already hate taking medication and the side effects from this one are horrible. I'm tired of hanging in there, I feel emotionally broken. Only two. More. Nights.

Back on topic: My doctor also recommended that my husband have an SA and me and HSG. So my husband will make an appointment with a local clinic sometime soon and I will call the radiography department when I get my period to set up to have an HSG between day 7-11 of my next cycle. I'm convinced that both tests will come back normal. If that's the case (and I hope that it is) then my doctor will likely prescribe me Clomid. She thinks that some women just need a little kickstart to get to ovulation. Seeing as I never had regular periods EVER, I think that's the case for me.

My secret hope is that after the HSG my body miraculously decides to ovulate and we get pregnant. Keep dreaming, Sam.

I do want to add that one of my close friends drives me absolutely batty. I want to share my experience with her but when I do I get this: "God has a plan. You don't want to have a baby before God thinks you are ready, do you? You need to ask God for the baby. He will give it to you when the time is right. Stop stressing." Um... Let me make something clear... God only GAVE one baby to one woman. Her name was Mary. In all of the other cases sperm met egg and that was that. That's how babies are made. God doesn't come down and put something in your uterus in the middle of the night. My body will make a baby when all of the physical actions come together! I'm ready for a baby. No offense, but NOW is the time for me to have a baby. I get so mad when other people try to tell me what's good for me or what GOD thinks is good for me. Excuse me, I'll have that conversation with God. Thank you.

I'm so glad I found this site. I pray nightly for the other women on this board. Some days they believe for me, and other days I hope for them. It's an awesome community.
__________________

Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
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  #2  
March 27th, 2013, 11:04 AM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,613
I'm glad that you started a journal, Sam! I will be one of your regular readers.
SmilingSam likes this.
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  #3  
March 27th, 2013, 12:50 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,227
Glad you started a journal lady! They really help when you are TTC and need to rant and rave, etc. Hopefully you will get your BFP this month and never have to deal with that progesterone again!

I also believe that God has a plan for us all! That's what DH always says, god will make it happen when he is ready. But I am like hey I want it now!!!!

Good luck Sam and we will be saying some prayers for you!
SmilingSam likes this.
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Married to my best friend





~*~**Proud Army Wife**~*~
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  #4  
March 29th, 2013, 09:27 PM
Nerd
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
Aha! Maybe my body was listening to Jen's surprise visit from AF bc guess what I discovered today? That's right, my period arrived! I was totally shocked. I figured I had a couple more days due to the progesterone. But the bloating and cramps lead me to believe the is the real deal.

That old almost 70 day cycle is behind me. Time to move forward. At last!
__________________

Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
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  #5  
March 29th, 2013, 10:11 PM
plan4fate's Avatar I may bend, but not break
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 26,316
Send a message via MSN to plan4fate
Woo Hoo!! Hopefully she isn't too rough on you
__________________
~TTC #1 together 2 years and counting ~


Awesome siggy made by Jaidynsmum
Matthew&Mark 08/24/2005 9w1d, Mattie Anne 04/07/2008 8w Mel|&Dee 01/19/2010 (8 weeks) and 5 chemical pregnancies
Hope 07/22/2012@4w1d, Konnor 11/24/2012@3w6d,"Emmy"1/15/2013@ 3w6d, Ronen 02/10/2013@3w5d, Joy 07/19/2013@3w6d, "Pea" 09/06/2013@ 3w3d

Me: Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, PCOS, Insulin resistant
175mcg Synthyroid, 1500mg Metformin
Him: MFI low count, low morphology, low motillity
Seeing MFI specialist/RE in 2015
Attempting vitamins for remainder of 2014
Weight loss goal #1 - 10% body weight 23.4lbs - accomplished July 13 2014
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  #6  
March 30th, 2013, 05:45 PM
Nerd
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
So it's not breakthrough bleeding, this is full on AF I believe. Tomorrow I should get up on time and set my CB Fertility Monitor thing. I only bought it months ago because I thought it would help me figure out when I was ovulating. I was frustrated by the wandfos because I had some OPKs that looked close to positive but I couldn't be sure. So I bought that expensive @ss monitor. The sticks track both estrogen and lh so at least I will have more data to show my doc. I do feel that after two hopelessly long cycles that there is no point to doing the monitor. My body obviously doesn't ovulate. Which brings me to my next dilemma...

After I have my hsg do I wait a possible 40 days for ovulation which probably won't happen or do I request another round of provera which made me feel crazy? I hate the idea of taking that drug again but I hate the idea of waiting 40 or 50 days for a new cycle. After all, I'm betting that my hsg comes back normal and husband's SA will too.
__________________

Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
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  #7  
March 31st, 2013, 06:05 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,613
I'm worried that my body doesn't ovulate either. I feel like I have no idea what is going on with my body.

Did you have a good Easter?
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  #8  
April 1st, 2013, 05:37 AM
Nicholle ttc's Avatar TTC our first!
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,059
to journalling! It's nice to have a place to get it all out!

AF finally arrived!

Hopefully you'll O this cycle and a BFP will follow that!
__________________
TTCing since August 2011
Me (33)-LP on the short side, but no other abnormalities
DH (37)-slightly subfertile morphology and motility


Natural cycles-August 2011-July 2012
August 2012-October 2012 clomid and progesterone
November 2012-IUI
December 2012, cysts from IUI, on bcp

January 2013-February 2013, long protocol IVF
15 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI
All 7 made it to 5 day transfer, 2 were transferred
Only 1 frozen snowbaby
1st IVF


May 10, 2013, lap sx, Stage 1 endo

June 2013 - MA Round 2
Femara + hcg shot
IUI # 2


FET tentatively scheduled for 10/31/13

Have never seen a bfp.






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  #9  
April 1st, 2013, 07:19 AM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 6,294
So glad you started a journal!!!! And glad that AF finally arrived for you! FX that this is your cycle
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for the amazing siggy!!

Expecting our first baby August 25th, 2014!!!


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  #10  
April 1st, 2013, 09:06 AM
Nerd
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
I can't stop crying. I can't stop crying. I'm on the verge of hysteria.

Insurance isn't going to cover anything if any medical form has been submitted as "infertility".

This isn't fair. I've done everything right. And my body sucks. The doctor can't even test to see if I AM fertile because it's considered infertility testing. I HATE INSURANCE and I hate hospitals and I hate Obamacare and I hate Republicans and I hate democrats and I hate people who don't pay hospital bills, and I hate everyone and everything for the next five minutes. Maybe five hours.
__________________

Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
April 1st, 2013, 01:58 PM
Nicholle ttc's Avatar TTC our first!
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,059
I hope that you are feeling better. I'm really surprised that a doctor can't get an HSG covered. As I said on the main board, my RE (reproductive endocrinologist--you only see them for reproduction purposes) was able to get mine covered, along with u/s's and blood work. I would try to talk with your doctor. If you are able to, switch docs, as this should be covered by most insurances. Again, I'm so sorry. I totally get the money thing. We spent $12,000 on failed IVF. This doesn't include failed IUI and hundreds of dollars in fertility meds.

Again,
__________________
TTCing since August 2011
Me (33)-LP on the short side, but no other abnormalities
DH (37)-slightly subfertile morphology and motility


Natural cycles-August 2011-July 2012
August 2012-October 2012 clomid and progesterone
November 2012-IUI
December 2012, cysts from IUI, on bcp

January 2013-February 2013, long protocol IVF
15 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI
All 7 made it to 5 day transfer, 2 were transferred
Only 1 frozen snowbaby
1st IVF


May 10, 2013, lap sx, Stage 1 endo

June 2013 - MA Round 2
Femara + hcg shot
IUI # 2


FET tentatively scheduled for 10/31/13

Have never seen a bfp.






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  #12  
April 1st, 2013, 05:34 PM
Nerd
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
My poor husband. I don't know if it is AF, low blood sugar, mood swings, or a combination if everything but all I have done today is cry. Cry cry cry. My husband doesn't know what to do with me. I've finally moved to the dark bedroom to assume my hiding-from-the-world position: in a dark room buried under all the covers with hands and pillows on top of my head. A weird carryover from childhood. Sometimes I only feel safe when no one can possibly see me.

I don't know what gotten me so down. All I can think of is the hormones. But I'm so angry and so unhappy at myself and everyone else today. It's a total overreaction but I can't seem to make it stop. I just want tomorrow to be here so I can be normal again. But it doesn't feel like I'll ever pull out of this tail spin.
__________________

Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
April 1st, 2013, 07:20 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,613
I'm really sorry that you are feeling so down and that you are so stressed out. Health insurance in the US makes me so angry. I hate it, too.
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  #14  
April 2nd, 2013, 05:17 AM
Nicholle ttc's Avatar TTC our first!
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,059


Are you feeling better today?
__________________
TTCing since August 2011
Me (33)-LP on the short side, but no other abnormalities
DH (37)-slightly subfertile morphology and motility


Natural cycles-August 2011-July 2012
August 2012-October 2012 clomid and progesterone
November 2012-IUI
December 2012, cysts from IUI, on bcp

January 2013-February 2013, long protocol IVF
15 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI
All 7 made it to 5 day transfer, 2 were transferred
Only 1 frozen snowbaby
1st IVF


May 10, 2013, lap sx, Stage 1 endo

June 2013 - MA Round 2
Femara + hcg shot
IUI # 2


FET tentatively scheduled for 10/31/13

Have never seen a bfp.






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  #15  
April 2nd, 2013, 12:22 PM
momology's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Houston, Texas
Posts: 6,294
I am so sorry Sam!! I hope you are feeling better today.
__________________

Thank you *Kiliki* for the amazing siggy!!

Expecting our first baby August 25th, 2014!!!


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  #16  
April 2nd, 2013, 08:40 PM
Nerd
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
Omg, YES I am feeling better. Thank you all for checking in on me! It's actually been a really busy day. Tomorrow I teach my gym class at 5:45am and then 7:15 am. My father has an appointment with a heart surgeon at 8:30am in town to talk about putting a stint in his heart on either Friday or next Monday. Hopefully I'll be able to catch my parents for lunch or dinner. I'll write more tomorrow.

I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER TODAY. Thank goodness.
momology likes this.
__________________

Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
April 2nd, 2013, 08:43 PM
butterfly721's Avatar TTC #1
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 2,613
I'm so glad that you are feeling better, Sam.
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  #18  
April 3rd, 2013, 05:27 AM
Nicholle ttc's Avatar TTC our first!
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 5,059


Definitely keep us posted!
__________________
TTCing since August 2011
Me (33)-LP on the short side, but no other abnormalities
DH (37)-slightly subfertile morphology and motility


Natural cycles-August 2011-July 2012
August 2012-October 2012 clomid and progesterone
November 2012-IUI
December 2012, cysts from IUI, on bcp

January 2013-February 2013, long protocol IVF
15 eggs retrieved, 11 mature, 7 fertilized with ICSI
All 7 made it to 5 day transfer, 2 were transferred
Only 1 frozen snowbaby
1st IVF


May 10, 2013, lap sx, Stage 1 endo

June 2013 - MA Round 2
Femara + hcg shot
IUI # 2


FET tentatively scheduled for 10/31/13

Have never seen a bfp.






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  #19  
April 3rd, 2013, 05:52 PM
Nerd
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Southeast, US
Posts: 3,040
Okay. I successfully managed to ride 36 miles, teach RPM, take CXWORX (30 minute core class), teach RPM at 5:45 am, and teach RPM a final time at 7:15am all within 24 hours. My behind is SORE. The songs that I chose had a lot of heavy climbs out of the saddle with a punishing in the saddle climb to finish the track. That will roast your glutes. But yay for an in shape booty?

Dad had his consult appointment this morning. The surgeon thinks it will be no big deal to put a stint in his heart. In fact 10 years is about when people who have had open heart bypass surgery usually start reporting problems. My father is 73 and diabetic, so he's actually quite healthy, all things considered. The surgeon will preform the procedure on Friday morning. So Mom and Dad drove back five hours to their house to get some chores wrapped up. They'll drive back up tomorrow sometime. Hopefully I'll get to see them Thursday evening after class. And then I'll try to come wait in the waiting room with Mom during the surgery.

I'm so weirded out by this period. It's so light. Like one tampon a day light. But the blood is read, and it's definitely there. So it's not spotting... All I can do is hope that the bleeding wraps up before my HSG next Tuesday. I'll start my monitor thing tomorrow. I haven't been up and at home during the right times to set the "M" feature. I'm not worried because I haven't been ovulating early or anything... so starting a couple of days late with the monitor shouldn't be a problem. I have my wandfos if I think that I'm ovulating before CD 10-13. The monitor is cool because it has a box to test for Estrogen and LH. Supposedly the monitor remembers your levels and will compare tests to one another to catch your surge. That may be helpful for me since the wandfos generally show a pretty clear test line most of the time.

That's all for now. I may be scarce for the next month because it's the final weeks of the semester. Just gotta keep my head down and push through.
__________________

Expecting our first child in February... Team pink!
1st beta 14dpo = 150
2nd beta 18dpo = 782
3rd beta 23 dpo = 5,362
Missing my puppy, but grateful to have shared a bond with her for two years.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
April 3rd, 2013, 06:06 PM
BabyBirdies's Avatar over the rainbow?
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Manhattan :)
Posts: 1,822
Hey Sam!

Wanted to check out your journal. Have you read Taking Charge of your Fertility? I feel like it might be a good book for you. Also, particularly if you're not ovulating, I might suggest looking into acupuncture. I know I talk about it a lot, but I know a lot of women have had success with it. Hope all is well!
__________________

Thanks Jaidynsmum for the siggy!
My fertility blog: Only Infertile



NTNP since March 2012, TTC since August 2012, HSG = one blocked tube, SA = normal, 1st RE 7/11 - took a zillion tests, 2nd RE appt = Tubal issue with PCOS tendencies, possible polyp, August 2013 - possible polyp, September 2013 - new job, insurance change! January 2014 - new insurance, March 2014 - new RE appointment, then surprise BFP!

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