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Courtney's TTC Journal


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  #41  
January 1st, 2014, 08:49 AM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
Yay for testing buddies! When are you testing? I was planning on testing Friday, but the closer I get to it the more nervous and afraid of a BFN I am, so I'm not sure now lol.

Yeah I really don't have much in the way of symptoms right now, other than my normal breast tenderness, creamy white CM, and mild off-and-on cramps. I used to get so excited because of those symptoms when I first started TTC, and every month I was just so sure that I must be pregnant because of these great symptoms... and then AF would show up lol. Soon I realized that those were all just my "normal" post-O symptoms and I had just never paid attention before! Crazy how much more you notice when you're TTC!
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Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #42  
January 1st, 2014, 11:11 AM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
So, I have a rather embarrassing and sensitive problem. I hate to even say it, because I feel like I'm admitting that something is wrong with me, but sex really only feels good during my fertile period, and the rest of the time it actually hurts quite a bit, and I have no idea why. It feels soooo good right before O but then a few days later it's burning and stinging and just, ouch. I guess I should be thankful my DH has a somewhat low sex drive, because I don't know what I would do. I can handle it now because we really don't DTD more than once or twice a week, and sometimes we go further between, and then we have a BD marathon when it's the right time

I tried to talk about this to my OB/GYN but she really didn't say much. She asked if it was pelvic pain (I assume she was wondering about possible endo?) but I said, no, it's the skin itself that hurts, usually mostly on the outside area, but somewhat on the inside too (hard to explain lol). I just assume I don't produce adequate lubrication, but even when we use lube it still hurts--it's not as bad, but it's definitely still very uncomfortable for me. Sometimes it doesn't hurt as bad DURING the act, but as soon as it's over I notice the stinging... but other times it hurts the entire time.

I just don't know what to do. It's a really embarrassing and super frustrating thing for me, because I feel like I'm supposed to enjoy sex, but I just...don't, most of the time. And I want to! I have probably a higher sex drive than DH but I just avoid it as much as I can because of the stupid pain.

Anyone else have issues with this? I've looked up possible reasons that would cause painful intercourse, and for the most part they don't really seem like they would apply to me. I guess poor lubrication makes the most sense, since it really is mostly a chafing-type feeling. I'm likely going to discuss it again with my OB/GYN at my next appointment, so hopefully I will get some answers then.
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Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #43  
January 1st, 2014, 07:34 PM
bandriessen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,010
My guess would be dryness. However, my best friend had really painful sex for the first several months with her husband and turns out she has two cervixes and two uteruses!! It wasn't discovereduuntil she became pregnant! Both uteruses function but only one cervix. Crazy huh?
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  #44  
January 2nd, 2014, 06:58 AM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
That is crazy!! Hopefully it isn't anything like that for me, although I guess if everything worked fine it wouldn't matter.

Yeah I'm pretty sure it's just dryness too, so I guess I need to just be better about lubing up! Lol.

So, for the first time ever, last night I had a dream that I got my BFP finally! It was so exciting, I couldn't even believe it. It was a strong positive too, not like a super faint not-sure-it's-really-there line. It was awesome. Then I woke up lol, and of course I just HAD to test, and of course it was a Big. Fat. Negative. Sigh. I'm only 9 DPO so I know it's early, but I had hoped anyway lol. So now I'm going to probably wait a few days before testing again. I had planned on testing tomorrow as the first time, but after that dream, I just couldn't help myself!
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Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #45  
January 2nd, 2014, 08:07 AM
KellJoO's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,821
Ok, TMI question...but do you shave down there? Sometimes I notice I get sensitive/chaffing if I've got a little razor burn. Is it mostly on the outside you feel it? And what kind of lube do you use? Doesn't sound fun either way!

Yay for BFP dreams! I had one last night too FX this is it for you. 9DPO is still really early..so don't get discouraged!
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Kelley
Cautiously Expecting #1

IT'S A GIRL!!!

One Angel in Heaven lost @ 6Weeks 2/7/2013
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  #46  
January 2nd, 2014, 09:11 AM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
I don't shave much- I shave my bikini line but I get pretty bad razor burn so I try to avoid it and just trim as best I can lol. Yeah it's really not fun. It's just so frustrating because during my fertile time it doesn't hurt AT ALL and feels really good (like I imagine it's supposed to always feel lol), but I'm also much more responsive during that time and get really wet, really quickly. So I think it's just a lack of lubrication, but then I wonder, why don't I lubricate normally during the non-fertile time? Do I have an estrogen deficiency? Lol and my mind goes crazy I've used some type of KY lube, which works okay but isn't great. And then also pre-seed, but I've only used that during BMS because of my lack of EWCM.... And it's too pricey for me to want to use it any other time! I might try another brand though, I'm not sure.

Aww you had a dream too! Maybe it is a sign that we are both getting our BFPs this month I'm trying not to get discouraged, but I just haven't been feeling it this month. I want it sooo bad, but after the last...almost year and half of BFNs I'm beginning to feel like it'll just never happen for me I guess I'm a negative nancy lol.
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Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #47  
January 2nd, 2014, 09:20 AM
KellJoO's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,821
Thats what I would guess is a lack of fluids. I am not a fan of KY... to me it seems like it helps initially but then it just get sticky and gross. I guess I am lucky in that department because I dont usually have much trouble with fluids. I would bring it up to your doctor again if its painful, because sex should be enjoyable!!

Some women dont have many signs until well after AF is due so try not to focus on it too much. You're not out til the witch shows!
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Kelley
Cautiously Expecting #1

IT'S A GIRL!!!

One Angel in Heaven lost @ 6Weeks 2/7/2013
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  #48  
January 2nd, 2014, 11:12 AM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
I'll have to check out another brand of lube then, see if it helps!

Okay, trying to keep my head up! We're working on getting a SA for DH--it's proving to be a pain though! Finding a lab that will even do it was hard enough, and now we need to get a lab order, so I just emailed my OB/GYN to see if she could get him one, since she's the one who told me he should get it done. And I'm scheduled for lab work too. My mom is worried that my thyroid is low (runs in the family) because my temps are low?? I didn't think they were all that low. But I'm getting my thyroid checked when I get my lab work anyway, so I will find out soon enough.
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Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #49  
January 9th, 2014, 12:31 PM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
Well, AF showed today, right on time. I was completely expecting it so I really wasn't upset, I'm just ready to start this new cycle! The good news is I had a nearly perfect cycle--28 days, with O on CD 13.

DH wants to take a more relaxed approach this month, which will be nice. Last month was so tough because the scheduled BDing was killing his sex drive. So this month I won't be temping (which is going to be hard for me, because I love temping!), won't use OPKs, not going to worry about timing things perfectly. Just going to relax and enjoy each other He said I can still use pre-seed, since I have such poor CM and we do still want to improve our chances, and we are both taking various vitamins and supplements, but other than that, we're just hoping and praying! I'll be leaving for Ohio to visit family right around my O time, so I'm sure getting lots of BDing in before I leave won't be an issue And then I'll be gone two weeks, which should definitely help keep my mind off the 2WW.

In other news, I got my lab work done today, hopefully I'll get results quickly! The main thing they're checking for is thyroid. And then I have an appointment with my doctor on Tuesday to get my annual pap done.

And this is totally silly and shows how much of a procrastinator I am, but I FINALLY went to the social security office today and got my name changed! I've only been married for almost a year and a half....
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Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #50  
January 13th, 2014, 01:18 PM
KellJoO's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 3,821
Sorry AF showed... mine showed two days before you so we are cycle buddies again this time around.

You should have a pretty easy time keeping your mind busy during your TWW.
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Kelley
Cautiously Expecting #1

IT'S A GIRL!!!

One Angel in Heaven lost @ 6Weeks 2/7/2013
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  #51  
February 6th, 2014, 09:22 PM
bandriessen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,010
Hey Courtney, how have you been? How was the visit to Ohio? Haven't seen you in awhile and wanted to check in!!!
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  #52  
February 16th, 2014, 02:37 PM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
Wow, it has been forever since I've been on here! Life has been a little hectic lately. I had a wonderful visit with my family, although it was quite bittersweet. My sister was there too, she flew in from Oregon, and she is 5 months pregnant (she got pregnant the second month they tried; I'm at the year and a half mark now). She had a very obvious baby bump, and even though I am happy for her, it still...hurt. A lot. I had a major breakdown while I was there (only one, though! Lol), had to go shut myself upstairs and cry. My mom came and talked to me a bit, which helped. So anyway, it was nice to see everyone, but I was very happy to come home.

As for the hectic-ness of life, DH and I bought a house right before I flew up to Ohio, so my mom and a few siblings drove me home and they helped us move, which was a BIG help. So now I'm working on unpacking and fun stuff like that.

AF showed up about a week ago, with possibly the worst cramps I've ever experienced, which was fun. But, we're on to a new cycle, so hopefully this time is it for us. I'm going to see a different OB/GYN in April if I'm not pregnant by then. He comes highly recommended by a lady in my church who had some fertility issues, so I'm hoping he will be proactive in finding out what's up and why we're having such difficulties. FX that I will get a BFP before then and won't need an appointment!
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Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #53  
April 24th, 2014, 08:29 PM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
I haven't been on here in a while, so I thought I'd come give a quick update. I went and saw an OB last month, one who is much more willing to work with fertility-related issues. He ordered a bunch of labs for us to do later in March, but due to financial struggles and a slightly unusual cycle from stress, we've had to put it off for a month. So now I'm just waiting for a confirmed ovulation, then we will get the labs done about a week after. Then we will follow up with the doctor to discuss the results! I'm excited to hopefully get some answers. This doctor is very nice and very proactive, which is great. And he really seems to know what he's talking about. I can tell he loves what he does

So yeah, just waiting for now. DH and I are currently taking fostering classes, we only have a couple more weeks and a TON of paperwork to go, and then we will be set to start fostering kids. We are thinking of trying to adopt a baby that way, especially if we continue to have fertility issues.

We are all settled into our new house now, which is an awesome feeling. Renting is okay, but having our own place is just such a nice feeling. We have almost three acres, out in the country, and we are surrounded by fields, with no neighbors for...probably a mile radius. It's wonderful. Very peaceful. I just keep thinking, now that we're here and settled and loving it, this seems like the perfect time to start a family.... Hopefully God agrees!
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Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #54  
April 27th, 2014, 02:36 PM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
Well, my oldest sister let the family know that she is expecting again. Her littlest one just turned one last month. I'm happy for her, but I also cried for myself. She got pregnant with her little one just a couple months before we started trying... and now she's pregnant AGAIN and we're STILL trying... Sigh. Sometimes life isn't fair. Forgive me for whining, but I am SO ready to just get pregnant already!


As for me, I had thought I O'd on 4/23, which was CD13 and a little early for me, but I had a temp rise the day after. However, I have been sick, and I expect that it was actually a fever that caused my temp to rise. I didn't manage to take my temp the next two mornings, due to stuff going on, so I didn't really know what was going on. BUT I had some EWCM yesterday, which was CD16 and a much more normal O time for me. We went ahead and DTD pretty much as soon as I noticed the cm. Temp was up this morning, high enough that I feel pretty confident that O did occur. I will see what tomorrow's temp is to confirm for sure though. Now it's just waiting! I will plan on getting our labs done on Friday, CD 22. DH is getting a SA done--yay! He did NOT want to do this lol, so I'm glad the doctor convinced him that it needed to be done. Hoping for some answers soon. (I believe this is our 20th cycle TTC.)
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Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #55  
May 1st, 2014, 06:42 AM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
Time is moving waaaaaayyyy too slow!! We are getting our labs done tomorrow morning. I can't wait, I am ready for some answers! Then we couldn't get in to the dr until May 16, so another long wait before we discuss results and decide what needs to be done next.

I am 5 dpo today and already wanting to test. Actually, I totally tested yesterday afternoon, even though I knew it would be negative lol. Just felt like POAS
__________________
Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #56  
May 2nd, 2014, 03:07 PM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
Got our labs done today- yay! I was so afraid that for some reason it just wouldn't work this month and we'd have to wait another cycle. I don't know why lol. We should be able to pick up our results on Monday or Tuesday
__________________
Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #57  
May 5th, 2014, 06:04 PM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
My lab results are in! Have to wait another day or two for DH's though.
Progesterone: 21.66
Prolactin: 20.4
TSH: 1.409

Overall, everything normal. I'll admit I was bummed because I wanted something to be abnormal so that we would have an easy fix! I'm hoping for DH to have a normal SA because I'm not sure what we would do to correct anything there..... I know he's anxious to see those results. He dragged his feet for so long to get this done, and I think the reason was because he felt insecure. He didn't want to be the problem.

Anyway, in other news, my one pregnant sister is having a bunch of issues with blood pressure and elevated liver enzymes, so her doctor has decided to induce her tomorrow. They're worried about preeclampsia. She was due at the end of May, so my mom is super unhappy because she won't make it to the birth (mom's in Ohio, sister is in Oregon).

My other pregnant sister was having some concerns, she was afraid she'd lost the baby due to some test results and such (I don't know all the details), but last I heard she was finally having good early pregnancy symptoms, so hopefully all is well there.
__________________
Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #58  
May 7th, 2014, 01:57 PM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
Okay, DH got his SA results today! Overall, things looked pretty good, I think. We just can't wait until the 16th when we will discuss results with the doctor!

Viscosity: normal
Liquefaction: Normal
Sperm motility: 50% (normal 20 - 100%)
Semen volume: 1.5 ml (normal 0.8 - 6.5 ml)
Sperm count/ml: 267 million. Abnormal. (Normal range 60 - 200 million)
Moderate amounts of WBCs and RBCs present.
Many small clumps of agglutinated sperm present.
Abnormal forms: 50% (normal 0 - 50%)

__________________
Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #59  
May 9th, 2014, 11:36 AM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
Well... Yesterday morning, I decided to take a test, and there was a faint, faint line. I couldn't believe it. So then I tested again later and a much clearer (but still faint) line showed up! Tested twice more yesterday (I know, I have a problem lol) and there were still lines, but very faint again. This morning, line is still faint, I was hoping for a little darker. I'll test again in a few days. I'm just so excited and hopeful that this might be the real deal!! My period is due on Monday, so if I can get past then, I'll be feeling good. I'll test again either Sunday or Monday with a FRER if my temps stay high.

As far as symptoms: Nothing crazy. Boobs are KILLING me. They weren't hurting when I woke up this morning, which freaked me out, but they've been getting more and more painful as the day has progressed, so that's reassuring. I've been super thirsty. I am not normally a big water drinker, (I want to be, but I'm not) and today I've already drank two big glasses of ice water, and just thinking about water is making me thirsty again! Cramps.. not sure if this is good or bad, but I think it's fairly normal, as long as there isn't any bleeding along with them. I've been getting super tired in the evenings around 7, just absolutely exhausted, but then when I go to bed I can't sleep, so that's been frustrating.

Anyway, I'm very anxious and stressed about it, because I want this to be the real deal so bad, but I'm also excited and enjoying it. After 20 months of nothing, I finally get a second line Now it's just waiting to see what happens!
__________________
Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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  #60  
May 10th, 2014, 06:50 PM
Courtney
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 163
Test progression, starting with 12 DPO, smu:


13 DPO. FMU on bottom, SMU on top.


14 DPO, FMU.


And 14 DPO, SMU. Darkest line so far
__________________
Me (23), DH (27)
Married in August 2012. TTC #1 ever since.
May 2014: Finally got our BFP!!!


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