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This the first post from a few days ago, before we had a journal..
Well, I thought that this may help me keep up with myself so here I go!
I have been off of bcp since the end of May beginning of June 2006. At first it was because my Rx had run out but then I quickly decided that I felt better off of them, and never went back to re-up. My DH would say things at first about us not TTC right now and that we need to wait. While it hurt my feelings, I totally understood. After a couple of months went by and still no BFP, I thought hmm.. lets see if I will this month. (In August.) Then when it didn't happen I thought... what about this month??? Then my cycle was almost 9 days longer than normal and I thought I was preg until everytime I poas it was a BFN. I knew October wouldn't be my month because we were arguing around my O time and we didn't really BD like we normally do. This month though has been different. I have bought an OPK and we have been BDing like crazy. DH knows that I haven't been back to the doctor and it is an unspoken thing. (He doesn't know I got the OPK.. or atleast I don't think he knows.) I know he really wants me to get preg, everytime we are around a baby he has to hold/touch it!! It is really sweet. I am really rooting for the next few months. I would like to say I was for Christmas or our anniversary in February. I don't know if I can wait that long though.. haha!!
So I am 1 DPO and I absolutely can not wait to see if I am preggers!!! I hope that since I was more sensitive to my body that we caught the egg and we are pregnant. We will both be so happy! I am supposed to start on the 22nd or 23rd.. so if I don't start the 22nd then I may test!! so that will be 10 days until I can test!!!
Today is not a good day for me!!! DH is in a bad mood and has hurt my feelings and put me in a bad mood! It is times like these that make me wonder why I want to TTC. Obviously our lives are a lot for us to handle right now, how will we handle it with a baby?!?! This just makes me feel blue . I know it is nothing more than a little blurp in the day, but it hurts so deep when the person who is supposed to be on your side and support you acts like a complete jerk. Only 6-7 days until I test!! I really hope for a but I'm not getting my hopes up, especially with all of the stress during this cycle. I am thinking right now that I will wait until I am late before I test. That would make me testing around 9-11 days from today. We'll see... I'll probably change my mind after I get over this.</span></span>[/i]
Last month didn't go as well as I had hoped it would. I am on CD 6 and wondering if I can even get pregnant. Everyone makes it seem like it is such an easy task getting pregnant and the girls who are around me that are pregnant, it only took them a month or two.... I don't understand why my body isn't working right. Or is it my body?? Could it be dh's little swimmers that aren't making the cut? I have no idea. I haven't been trying long enough to go the dr about it.
Sometimes I feel so selfish for wanting to be pregnant. There are so many other good things in my life and I should concentrate on them instead of focusing all of my attention on the one thing that I can't seem to get. I think I am going to use the OPK's this month, but if I get another and the shows, I am going to quit buying them and just bd every other day. (Or atleast try to.) I may even try the Conceptionmoon. (That sounds like lots of fun!!! ) We will see!
<span style="font-family:Arial Narrow">It has been a long while since my last entry, and still no BFP! I have gone to the Dr and had a progesterone test done. It seems to be normal. I'm waiting on hubby to take a S/A to the dr, but so far he hasn't complied. Right now I am honestly worried that it is him and not me. I hope that I am wrong. I have had fairly high temps this cycle. I hope that this is the month! I am going to test tomorrow, so we will see!! </span>
I really need to update this more often! Still no BFP. DH's swimmers are good, so now I pretty much know that it is me. I need to go back to the DR, but I am waiting until school is out. I would like to do a HSG, but think that he will want to put me on something like clomid first.
I am also confused... I want to lose weight, but I am afraid that it may hinder us from children or I'll get pregnant and all of my hard work will go down the drain. Hahaha!!! I only need to lose 10 lbs, but still. They are stubborn !!!
I am sooo excited!!! I just went to Old Navy and tried on some dress pants and khakis and I actually put on and fastened a size 4!!! I haven't been a size 4 in about 4 or 5 years!! They were a little snug so I bought a pair of 6's, but I can't wait until I am buying the 4!!!! I don't get very motivated at times because I don't want it to be a waste of effort if I get pregnant, but it felt so good! Yeah!!!!
Well I am only 9 DPO and I feel like AF is going to show up at any moment. I had AF cramps yesterday and this morning when I woke up I had them again. It is 1-3 days early for her, but it is just like her to ruin any hopes I may have. I did think my boobs felt bigger yesterday, but not so much today. I am 99% positive that it is her lurking around the corner. I also had a second temp drop today. BLAH!!!