[Marissa]

I'm starting a journal. I'm excited.

My name is Marissa, and I'm almost 20. I've been with my boyfriend Buddy for almost two years. We are trying for our first child together - Buddy has a son named Josh from a previous relationship whom we are trying to see, but his mother is not calling back when we leave messages

We are going to adopt two dogs, soon i'm hopeing. We want to be furparents as badly as we want to have a child together .

I'm currently CD 21 and 7DPO, and i'm assuming that AF will be showing her face in 7 days (yep, i'm not sure if this is our month or not - i could be wrong, heres to hopeing).

Well thats about it think - keep reading for new updates.

[Marissa]

CD 22 - 8DPO

Today has been a strange one, i realized that the veins in my boobs have become darker then usual, and for about an hour now i've had some little tinges of cramps, nothing to cause me to think my period is coming early because these aren't my usual period cramps. These are like little tightening cramps, i don't know anyother way to actually explain it.

I'm holding off till atleast next weekend before testing, i'm not testing early just to get a negative, and i want to wait till my period is late, because i don't want to get my hopes up before i know if AF will be late or not. I'm hopeing that by seeing the veins like that in my boobs won't make me get excited, and i will go on like normal, i don't want to get my hopes up that we've gotten pregnant on the first go because if we don't then thats fine, but i know that i will be a little bummed out.

Also - I've noticed that my boobs are a little bigger then before, not tender but just a little bigger. But again that could be a sign of AF. UGH. The 2 ww sucks, i'm doing the whatifs already and i'm going to go nuts before next week.

[Marissa]

CD 23 - 9DPO

As of today, no cramps that i explained yesterday, although this morning i had this big cramp that went from my stomach into my back, it lasted 30 seconds and went away, and never came back

The veins in my boobs are still there, just a little lighter then yesterday so i don't know what that is suppose to mean. No CM today either. Well i guess we will see what happens on friday, we'll find out then if AF wants to show her face or if i am pregnant. I'll be testing on Saturday if AF hasn't shown on friday like she is suppose to.

I wanted to see when i would be due if we did concieve on my last ovulation cycle and i would be due July 27th, which would make me 3 weeks along. So we'll see if my boyfriends spermies did their job.

When i finally get that baby bump, i've decided to get a shirt like this They are so cute and i want one.

http://www.cafepress.com/buy/Baby+/-/pv_de.../opt_/c_360/pg_

One the last note, i think that the rest of this week will be the death of me, i want this 2WW to be over with.

[Marissa]

CD 24 - 10 DPO

So, this morning i woke up to the worst pain ever, and i've NEVER experienced this. It's just never happened to me. I woke up this morning to my alarm clock and when i stood up out of bed i got this bad pain in the uterus region, like a muscle spasm. I woke up my boyfriend and i was hunched over because of the pain. I couldn't walk properly without being hunched over. It eventually stopped but then the pinching feeling in the abdoman started again, when i got to work.

It was the worst feeling this morning. Ugh. I still have 5 days till i can test if AF doesn't show up.

[Marissa]

CD 27 - 13 dpo

So the past couple of days i haven't been on. I've been trying to distract myself from the internet when i get home from work, My boyfriend and I have been playing the card game UNO alot the past couple of nights.

The symtoms just keep coming.

Pinching cramps,
Nose bleed
fatigue
More hungry then usual
freguent urination

And yet i'm not testing till saturday morning - how am i going to survive tomorrow? I've been praying that AF doesn't show tomorrow and that i get a postive pregnancy test on saturday. Lets see if god has answered them.

[Marissa]

CD 1

Yep, AF showed her face, so i'm at CD1 again. The symptoms i was having were just a dirty trick that my mind was playing on me for the past week I seriously thought yesterday that i was actually pregnant on the first go, and that i was going to be due in late July. AF is due cruel. Buddy is a little upset too, but said that even though this month wasn't our turn we will get pregnant, in gods time! I prayed all week to god, and he didn't answer my prayers, so i don't know if i should put it in gods hands or not. I'm just crabby. My cramps are crazy. I just took some pain killers to take the pain away. I feel like ripping someones head off, especially if they get on my bad side.

I need chocolate.

[Marissa]

CD 2 - 13 days till O.

So today is better (cramp wise), but i have terrible PMS. I'm shocking. Every little thing is pissing me off. I checked when my next ovulation day would be - December 2nd which will be a day after my birthday. I want the O date to come NOW. Go away AF

[Marissa]

CD 5 - 10 days till O.

So i thought i had finished my period this morning, took the pad off and didn't put one back on. AF came back a little while at work . ******!

It's so freakin hot here, and there is no air con in the office i work in so looks like i'll be switching to the one that does, or i buy a big fan to actually cool the place down. Blah! I'm so over AF and i'm ready to get into the swing of things again. Come on O and come on christmas BFP.

Only 9 days till i turn 20

[Marissa]

CD 6 - 9 days till O


Well; i thought i had finished AF because i had no bleeding this morning before work - realized at work that i'm still spotting blah! Normally i finish 2 days before a week of having AF but ah well. Maybe it's a longer AF cycle.

Not much going on; obviously no symtoms to report.

Just one more thing; getting two doggies over the weekend.

[Marissa]

CD 8 - 7 Days till O

So i'm on CD 8 and AF finally left my house, after two days of spottting.I had a headache this afternoon from the heat and had to take two painkillers to get rid of the pain. I hate headaches.

So i'm turning 20 in 6 days WOOHOO. I'm excited! Buddy is taking me to the animal welfare league on December 3rd and hes allowing me to pick out not one but TWO dogs, so exciting. The labs i seen in the paper fell through, the phone was still switched off and so we decided that we'd so stop persuring that and go for two puppies through the welfare league instead. I cant wait till next sunday now.

[Marissa]

CD 18 - TTC break!!!!

So i'm on CD 18, and on a TTC break.

Just wanted to post since i haven't in awhile. Also wanted to put my thoughts down.

Tonight i noticed pimples on my nipples, close to the middle of the nipple itself, very stingy feeling especially when they touched the warm bath water, not to mention when i put my PJ top on Ick! I don't understand.

I'm due to start AF a week from this saturday. I have high doubts that i would have concieved this cycle, even though we BD'd on my most fertile days and didn't BD on my O day.

B and I are actually talking - well in small doses right now, but getting there. Arguing sucks. But atleast we're talking better then the 2 worded sentences we've had since our fight on sunday.

I have a headache and want to cry I need some decent sleep. I keep waking up in the middle of the night and then toss and turn for what seems like forever and then finally go back to sleep as my alarm clock goes off I feel horrible..... Even though we're still working out what happened on sunday i think i'm gonna go and cuddle up with B. I need cuddles and kisses.

I want a baby, i want a puppy, and i want B back I don't want to argue anymore.

I have work tomorrow so i think im gonna get off the internet and go to bed, where B is watching t.v. Cuddles and kisses solve everything.... Hopefully!

[Marissa]

CD 5 - 10 days till O

So now that AF arrived early, we're now set for a December 26th O day with the most fertile days set for Christmas eve and christmas day, yeah busy time of year and i have to O around that time. Awesome!

So our goal is to BD on Christmas Eve, and since we won't be able to christmas day we will make up for it on my O day just to have that added chance. If we don't get it for this cycle then we will be TTC until we get pregnant from January 07. I'm hopeing we do get a BFP real soon though, like everybody else i do want a little baby of my own to love and raise.

So Christmas is only 9 days away. I'm sooooo looking forward to this time of year being completely over, i'm already done with it and its yet to begin. Great how that happens huh? I am looking forward to December 31 though, Buddy and I celebrate 2 years together and we have decided to go to the city and celebrate it there while watching the fireworks best way to celebrate an anniversy and also to bring in the new year of 2007, which i'm hopeing brings great things.

[Marissa]

CD 22 - 6 days till Testing

I haven't updated my journal for awhile so i thought i would before i hit the sack.

I think i O'd late, i was meant to O on the 26th but 2 days later i had alot of white CM, but not to fear SO and I did BD that day, and we did BD christmas eve and my suppose to be O date. So there is every chance we could have caught the egg, if not we're on to trying for an October 07 baby. Good month to have a baby

Buddy and I celebrated our 2 year anniversy Feels alot longer then 2 years but it was an amazing day all the same. I enjoyed myself and we relaxed and just enjoyed being together! Can't wait till we can celebrate our anniversy with our baby

I'm due for AF on the 9th, but if she's late then i'll test on the 10th. I don't want to test early if she's late, i would rather wait till she is late.

[Marissa]

CD 24 - 1 day till testing/AF

OK, so yesterday i discovered that i completely screwed up my cycles. I always assumed that i was having 28 day cycles and just got AF early. Nope, i have a 25 day cycle and AF is always on time, except that one time she came 5 days late (Now that i've worked out im on a 25 day cycle, i wasn't one day late, i was 5 DAYS late). So now that i've worked that out, i also O earlier which explains no results thus far in TTC. Why? Because i O on CD 12 not CD 14 and completely miss the O window Ya, thats the screw up i made but now im on track and know what cycle im on correctly. It took me that long to realize. Silly me!


AF is due tomorrow, i'm cramping a little and know that the witch is on her way. Due to the fact that i possibly missed my O cycle last month, i don't think i'm pregnant. But thats OK with me, atleast now we can TTC more properly for a good outcome. At the end of the day, this will be ALLLLLLLLL worth it when we have a baby.

[Marissa]

4 days late for AF - CD 33

So i'm not giving up - testing tomorrow, however, i don't have any pregnancy symptoms, i'm cramping (AF like cramps), sensative nipples (get that same symptom before AF), i'm also breaking out and getting pimples (again another AF symptom) although all could be related to pregnancy I hate that. Why can't pregnancy symptoms be different to AF's so we can pick the difference without having this go on.

Our plan is - if the test comes back negative and if i don't get AF by next wenesday, then on thursday i'm going in to get a blood test, to see what the heck is going on, if i'm not pregnant then i want AF so i can get on with it. I mean, don't mess with me - .

Not much else to say - just want to get that down.

[Marissa]

CD 1 - 27 days till testing


So AF arrived today after 4 days of waiting. I tested this morning ofcourse a negative (obviously!). This cycle was 33 days long, wowza.

I did some calculations on what my cycle should look like, based on a 25, 28 and a 33 day cycle now that i have a screwy cycle i want to be extra sure that i have all the dates ready, this is what it looks like:

25 day cycle

More fertile: January 24th
Most fertile: January 25th
ovulation: January 26th (Australia day, no less!)
AF will be due Febuary 7th.

(Estimated due date if we get pregnant on that cycle alone - October 19th 2007).


28 day cycle
More fertile: January 25th
Most fertile: January 26th
Ovulation: January 27th
AF will be due Febuary 10th

(estimated due date if we get pregnant on that cycle alone - October 20th 2007)

33 day cycle - assuming the lutheal phase is still 14 days
More fertile: January 30th
Most fertile: January 31st
Ovulation: Febuary 1st
AF will be due Febuary 15th

(estimated due date if we get pregnant on that cycle alone - October 25th 2007)


That's alot of dates + alot of BDing I'm sure SO will love that part of the whole thing. We will have to keep it exciting so we don't get too stressed over the whole BDing thing but atleast this way we are in with a running chance. I just hope my cycle next time isn't too long or any different to those 3 cycles and we should be fine.

I just can't wait to begin

[Marissa]

CD 8 - 20 days till testing date

So AF is finally gone, and thankgod for that! I am happy to say that this cycle wasn't as bad as it has been, the cramping wasn't too bad, once i took two pain killers when they started to tense up they went away within a couple of minutes and since then i had a couple of cramps but other then that i was fine. I wish all my cycles were like that .

SO and I are looking forward to this O cycle. We're very optmistic. We are going to have alot of sex to make sure we're in it with a good chance! Considering we don't know when my O dates are, its hard to determine the actual dates, so alot BDing is the best method

[Marissa]

CD 15 - We're in the BD process


So, we're in our BDing process. Every 2nd day now, and hopefully we get something good at the end of it. So far so good, we keep doing different things to keep it interesting. We were/are both nervous that we will end up resenting it because of BDing so much, but we're both optimistic about this cycle. Even if we don't get pregnant (not being negative here) we will continue to be optimistic all the other cycles.

I haven't had any O discharge yet so maybe i will O in the next couple of days. But we're covered either way.

[Marissa]

CD 22 - 6 days till testing

OK, well i have a little longer before testing. Since if i have a 33 day cycle, i will be testing on the 16th (AF is due on the 15th). I O'd yesterday (Feb 2nd) but we covered our basis, so hopefully we have caught that eggie. Heres to hopeing.

Next weekend i will have my mind away from TTC, we get Josh next weekend So it will be SO great to concentrate on him rather then TTC, BFPs etc for a couple of days. I'm so excited, i can not wait to see his sweet face again. Buddy and I are going to do a good tidy up of Josh's room that we have for him before friday, so he has a nice clean room to sleep in. I'm going out after work on Thursday to buy some brand new pillows, sheets and quilt and insert for the quilt for him. Get some things he likes. I'll have to get Buddy to call the ex again during the week and get a run down of Josh's new hobbies etc since it's been AGES since we even seen this boy face to face.

So much to do before friday, but im just so thrilled to see Josh again, as Buddy is aswell.


OK, so back to TTC and Oing etc.

Even though i o'd just yesterday (which would make me 1DPO) i've been having cramps. I seriously thought AF was coming But ofcourse thats not it. Ugh. I hope i don't start having those stupid phantom symptoms like i did in November or i'm going to scream.

[Marissa]

CD 6 - 9 days till O


We're back to square one! AF showed her ugly face on Monday of last week. Both Buddy and I were heartbroken. Now it's hard to find out when i'm going to O for sure, ugh! So we're stepping into the world of charting. I'm not using OPK's so i will be taking my temp every morning and charting. Hopefully this is the way to make sure i'm Oing and when so we can defintely BD on the right time.

Josh has kept my mind off it all, and i think its the same with Buddy too. Normally we would be discussing when we should BD again, but we have not mentioned it. We will mention it a little bit tomorrow afternoon when we've dropped Josh back to his mothers house, i think we're holding out because Josh is here and we're yet to tell him that we are trying to give him a brother or sister. We're a little unsure of how he will react. We will get there. Maybe we will just tell him when i'm pregnant.

Anyways; AF is gone. Has been since yesterday; what a relief. The week when fast so it seriously feels like AF wasn't here that long. Good things!