[brooke12]

Well, I guess I am going to start writing my thoughts here--maybe it will help me to vent a bit. I lurk around quite a bit, but I think I am fresh out of questions to post. Anyhow, this is CD 6 of my 7th cycle. Wow! When my doctor gave me that huge box of prenatals and a prescription for refills, I never thought I would go through them all and still NOT be pregnant. Anyhow, I had a bit of a breakdown yesterday when DH told me that another one of his friend's wives is pregnant. That's the first time I actually cried about TTC to him. He just told me that 6 months isn't that long, and it will happen for us. I am not so sure, but it was nice to see that he is so confident and reassuring.

But . . .I am tired of sitting back and waiting, so I made an appointment with the doctor, and of course he can't see me until April 2nd. So we will have to just try, try again this month. I know that most dr's won't see you until you have tried for a year, but we just moved and he's a new dr., so I am not opposed to telling a little lie to get some results. In the meantime, I am taking soy--120 mg days 3-7. I am pretty sure it gives me a headache, but I can stand it for one more day. That with the CBEFM and preseed, I am armed and ready for another cycle. Woo-hoo.

[brooke12]

Ok, now I am 9 DPO. I am trying to be very diligent in taking my temps at a set time every night. My problem is that I wake up so many dang times during the night, that I never really get 3 hours straight sleep. So, I have now set a wrist watch for 3 am and that seems to be working . . .although I have NO idea how this does not wake DH up!

Anyhow, I am expecting to O in about a week, so this upcoming week is the one that I dread--almost more than the 2WW. I feel like I have to orchestrate BD at the right time, make sure DH is home, make sure we both don't fall asleep. The seventh time around is not so fun. Ugh . . . I find this time very stressful. Maybe that's the problem . . .HMMMMM.

Also, I am trying to find a nice way to tell DH that he needs to make an appointment to see a dr for a sperm analysis. Don't know how that is going to go over, but if I can be poked and prodded---he can do his share

[brooke12]

I just have to write today because I am so bummed it is not even funny. I am more disenchanted today than I have been during the whole TTC journey so far. I think I broke my monitor, either that or I am really screwed up. I tried cleaning the darn thing, and I think I messed it up. Normally I get a high reading at CD10, I am now CD 15 and NOTHING! I have O'd on CD 15 or 16 every time for the last 6 cycles . . .so ***? Not to mention the fact, that DH is so sick that he can't really BD anyway. SOOOO, to make a long story short-this probably won't be our month, yet again.

Does this get easier? Every failed month just seems to make me more and more frustrated. I don't understand how it can be so easy for others, and so darn hard for me? I guess I am just in need of some answers.