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Help! I am at wits end with my 7 yr old


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  #1  
May 27th, 2013, 07:32 PM
SaraSmiles's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Since he was about 5, he has been on and off having poop accidents in his underwear. Either he will hold it and hold it until he cant hold it anymore and it comes out or he will just go in his pants bc he doesn't want to stop playing for a minute to go to the bathroom. The problem will go away for awhile, then come back again, then go away for awhile, then return. And this time, it has been a constant for about 6 months and I am about to lost it! I have put him in diapers thinking it would embarrass him enough to just use the toilet instead of looking like a baby, I tried taking away all his toys and grounding him until he earns them back by using the bathroom. I tried grounding him for days at a time where he was able to do nothing other than eat sleep and use the bathroom. I don't know what else to do. I ask him over and over again why he doesn't just use the toilet like everyone else in our family does, and his answer is that he doesn't want to stop playing (which is why I tried taking away the toys, so he has nothing to play with to distract him from listening to his body). Now with the baby here, it has become a health concern. He will poop his pants and not tell anyone, so he will go around for hours at a time with poop sitting in his underwear, until it dries up and falls out, down his pants, and onto the carpet. So everytime he has an accident, I need to vacuum and mop the ENTIRE HOUSE. Once the baby starts crawling, this will be a health hazard so this really needs to stop now. I tried reward charts, where if he doesn't have a poop accident in a given amount of time he will get a reward of some sort. I have tried a poop schedule, where I tell him to go to the bathroom multiple times a day. But all of them seem to only work for a short period of time. I cant really tell him to go to the bathroom multiple times a day anymore because I am stretched on time so thin as it is, and with school it doesn't work. I don't know what else to do. Also, recently he added in pee accidents as well. So it seems as if the problem is getting worse rather than getting better. He is almost 8...in less than a month. How can he still be doing this??? I know this is TMI and off topic but Im at a loss. My friends who I have reached out to all seem to have unrealistic ideas....like ground him for 3 months. I cant ruin the kids childhood, and I don't want him to look back at his younger years and hate me! I am going to call the pedi tomorrow morning and have a consultation with her this week hopefully, but I really don't know what she can possibly tell me that I haven't tried.
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  #2  
May 28th, 2013, 04:20 AM
kolbysmom's Avatar Ready For Spring!
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I'm with ya, Mom!!! Riley is 6 and he does the same thing. One thing that we tried (and works if we stick to it) is get him on a schedule. I sit him on the potty every evening before his bath and make him grunt. I watch and if I see poop, I have him sit there until he goes. After he gets out of the bath, I have him drink a glass of apple juice.
Have you tried Miralax? When you go to your pedi, ask him about trying that. It's not a harsh laxative and basically works by pulling more water into the bowels.

I'm glad you posted this because I understand your frustration. Encopresis is very common in little boys, though. KUP on what the pedi says.
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  #3  
June 3rd, 2013, 07:36 PM
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Him saying he doesn't wanna stop playing sounds like something he heard you say. I'd bet there's something else going on. Maybe it's painful? Maybe it's his way of getting your attention? At any rate, 8 years old is TOO OLD to still have poopy accidents, while he's awake! What did the pedi say? Can you take him to a therapist to see if they can talk to him to get to the root of the issue?

Does he do this at school?
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  #4  
June 3rd, 2013, 07:36 PM
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Him saying he doesn't wanna stop playing sounds like something he heard you say. I'd bet there's something else going on. Maybe it's painful? Maybe it's his way of getting your attention? At any rate, 8 years old is TOO OLD to still have poopy accidents, while he's awake! What did the pedi say? Can you take him to a therapist to see if they can talk to him to get to the root of the issue?

Does he do this at school?
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  #5  
June 22nd, 2013, 06:49 AM
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Sometimes it can be for attention, especially with a new baby on the way. But if it's been going on for 2 years, I guess it would have started before you were pregnant, so it could be something else. Is he under stress, have there been changes in his life, etc? How is he at school? Is he being harassed or bullied by a 'friend'?
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