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Originally posted by lillysue@Dec 14 2004, 10:48 AM I don't know if this would work but maybe tell him your going shopping and throw his school stuff in the car and instead drop him off before you go shopping then leave him at the school.
in high school this happened to a guy. his parents told him they were going to disney world and packed the car and started driving and dropped him off at drug rehab.
I am pretty strict with these things but this is my advice:
It is a battle of wills. You must prove yours stronger.
The moment you give in, you lose. You can't give in sometimes or even one time because it will then happen more and more. If he will not eat breakfast in the morning, then he doesn't have breakfast. Send something more in his lunch, put him in the car and take him to school. You are not starving him or abusing him. You offered him food and he did not eat it. It is compensated with lunch, so he is not losing nutrition if he will eat it then. If a kid knows they can push buttons to get their way, they will push and push and push. They have so much strong will, you cannot win by a standoff and having to force them will stress you both out. You just have to go about your business and make sure they know that coming along is mandatory, one way or another, because mom has things to do too and if you are not sick, you go to school. Misbehavior is not a get-out-of-responsibility-free card.
I would not trick him into getting into the car, but put him in it knowing he is going to school. Make him realize that this is how life works. Routines are not a choice. Life does not revolve around him. Sure he doesn't like it. Everyone has some days where they want to stay in bed but have to get up anyway because we have responsibilities.
If this happens again, I say give him a big hug like you don't know what's coming, tell him he may have a very fun day at school but he won't know if he doesn't go, give him breakfast and if he falls on the floor, tell him he can stay there if he wants but will be hungry if he does not eat, then leave him there with his decision until you're ready to get in the car. If he's over 4, he is self-sufficient enough to get off the floor and eat breakfast without being dragged to the table like a sack of potatoes if that's what he wants to do. Remind him, "ten minutes until we leave, five minutes until we leave, you should eat." Put him into the car, even if you have to carry him out the door.
With all the fun things at school this week, if you had made him go, he would forget the morning in no time and probably had a great day at school. Some kids are so bad with change through the day like sleep to awake, home to school, leaving school, going to bed, but once they are through the transition they are really ok.
Baby BOY due 4th August, 2005!
I would probaby ignore his tantrums. If he doesnt want to eat then let him go to school hungry. He wont die but he'll learn next time to eat it. I know you cant ignore him about giving him his meds but right after he takes it dont say anything and walk away. Like Dr. Phil says all kids have currency. Weither it be toys, computer, TV, video games. Take them all away. He will have to earn them back. Any little thing you dont like then take them ALL away again. Or try the reward system with star stickers like some teachers do. He takes a pill he gets a star. He eats, gets dressed and on school in time without tantrums he gets a star. Does homework, gets a start etc. If at the end of the week he has say 20 star he gets to have an ice cream or a new pack of baseball cards, what ever would be special to him. Maybe it'll be a new thing each week.
(((HUGS))) Sorry you had a rough morning. If you dont mind me asking who are you to him if you are not his mother?
Just want to add that instead of threating to do things just do them. Before he gets home from school have everything he enjoys in his room cleared out. If he asks why tell him its because he refused to take his meds this morning and now he can go into his boring room and think about how he wants to act from now on.
One thing we used to do was to have my son go to bed at night in his school clothes. That way we had one less thing to fight over in the morning. He also ate a cereal bar in the car on the way -- another thing not to fight over. If he didn't eat it, he'd be hungry -- a natural consequence.
As for the meds, I'm stumped. Can you give him a smoothy or something if he'll take them? Instead of punishing, reward him for doing the right choice? (Just ideas...)