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  Subscribe To Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss Experiences LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
June 16th, 2008, 10:56 AM
Regular
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 4
Hi my name is angie. I had a miscarriage on june 3rd at 17 weeks. It was the most awful horrifying experience of my life. I'm not sure where to post or even if I'm doing this right. I have an 8 year old daughter and a 2 year old daughter. When I found out I was pregnant I really wasn't excited. I am having a lot of guilt because of this. As time passed I was so thrilled we bought baby things were looking at names. I didn't even think bout losing the baby. Then I started having spotting. Went for an ultrasound I knew something was wrong. The lady wouldn't tell me what was happening. I went home waiting for the dr.s call. My 2 year old needed pull ups so I took my kids and my mom to walmart trying to get my mind off things. When I got there I started feeling contractions. I was standing next to the checkout when I felt my water break. All there was was blood though soaking my clothes making a puddle on the floor. I flooded the seat in the car on the 5 min ride to the hospital. I hurt sooo bad. The dr used large scissors to pull out huge clots etc after everything was done. Yes I'm leaving the middle out I can't talk about it. Now. I'm numb and hurting. I have nightmares and then I forget I'm not preggers anymore. I feel awful. My husband tries to be supportive but I feel like he doesn't get it. I hope reading all the stories helps me. I'm sorry for the jumbled out of place post.
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  #2  
June 16th, 2008, 04:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Red Lion, PA
Posts: 2,110
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I'm sorry that we have to welcome you to our 'club' (the one none of us want to be a member of).

I'm so sorry for your loss and you posted just fine. Please feel free to talk/vent/question here. The women here are great and talking helps with the emotional healing.

I'm so sorry for you loss. I also hope to see you around, please let us help you heal.

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  #3  
June 18th, 2008, 07:17 PM
Foberswife's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NE Ohio
Posts: 148
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I'm deeply sorry for your loss. As Tai said this is where none of us want to be but here we are and I know for me w/o the ladies here I don't think I would have gotten through this.

I know it's probably been really hard with your other 2 children. I have 3 and it hurt me more explaining to them that they weren't going to be having a little sister (we were hoping for a little sister, kind of even us up..got 2 boys and a girl)

As others will probably tell you husbands process this differently. My dh cried at the ER but hasn't said much about it since. I know he said we will get a rose bush to plant but hasn't gotten it yet for me.

I so know what you mean about not being excited at first. When I took my home test you know the box says Positive result in 1 minute, Negative in 2 minutes (or something like that) I kept saying I have another minute for it to become negative. I hadn't even told dh I bought a test because I was hoping it was the flu but then after the shock wore off we were so excited and was looking at baby stuff (we have nothing) and just so excited over it.

I am keeping you in my prayers and if you need to talk please come back here..these ladies are WONDERFUL and you can even PM me if you would like.

Get some rest when you can (easier said then done I know) and know we are praying for you.
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  #4  
June 18th, 2008, 10:41 PM
Regular
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 4
thank you for the encouraging words.

my 2 year old has no idea but my 8 year old keeps asking questions i don't know how to answer. Or I don't want to answer yet. She keeps saying the baby is in heaven. Then goes back to saying i should stop keeping secerets about the baby when is it coming. Its hard enough processing it myself but adding the kids is really hard. my tummy was big and growing quickly. i could feel the baby moving and in one day my stomach shrunk and there is nothing inside. My maternity clothes are gone and It's really hard I keep reaching to feel my round belly and it's not there. It's funny how big my belly got so quickly this time. But theres nothing I can do except try to keep from going insane anyway thank you again for the support. my husband woudl rather not talk about it. he asked me if it would be ok to get rid of the baby stuff we just got. that was hard and made me cry but i also understand his point of view. he says it's to hard to look at every day.
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