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hi ladies i just got back from the hospital, i lost my baby on friday and was hoping to get some help or advice on letting go. i was almost 7 weeks along, heres the story.
It started with light pink bleeding on thursday night with mild cramping, then the blood turned red on friday morning. we went into the hospital and i was hit with the worst pain iv'e ever felt in my life. i was screaming in pain until the doctor came running over to me with a syringe full of morphine. he said it was inhumane to let me suffer as there was no need for it. i was taken for an ultrasound then an internal scan but both came back empty after that they moved me up to gynea where they took blood (my poor arms) and urine samples every 2 hours . I passed a lot of clots yesterday and this afternoon they told me my urine has cleared up and my bloodwork came back showing my hormone levels have dropped so it was just an early miscarriage and not an ectopic.
i was thinking of doing a balloon release for my little pip, don't know how to ask/tell my boyfriend. i'm just out of hospital and couldn't sleep last night, kept thinking how strange it is not being pregnant anymore. i got to come home and now we we go back to normal. All our plans, hopes and wishes are useless now. I don't know how to grieve for someone i never met, let go of someone i never held? This is so hard, you would think after three losses id know what to do by now but i'm just as lost this time as i was 9 years ago.
so I was thinking about doing a balloon release so i can physically let go of something and find some closure. has anyone else done this? did it help?