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When dx with any chronic illness it can be very hard. It's a hard adjustment on the person who has the illness...but it is also hard on the family,especially the spouse. How is your SO doing since the dx? Are they activley involved with your medical care? Do they understand your illness?
Joe understands what is going on with me...I wish he understood more. But I think what he does understand,he really gets..kwim? It's been a struggle for us because basically our whole married life I have been ill...first being pregnant right away(within the first 5 monthes) and then being ill...getting pregnant again and then being dx with another illness. He's tired of it...tired of me being sick all the time. This past year,2006,has been a rough year on us too...I have not been able to get my UC under control. Joe seems to go in and out of depression when I am sick...same as me.
__________________ Nichole,Mommy to Emily and Ryan
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When David and I started dating I had been diagnosed with Crohn's but wasn't having too many problems. He had never really seen me with a flare up. When I was having problems at college he was living about an hour and half away and he didnt' know the severity. He thought it was something that would happen and I would get over it.
Once we got married and started having children he realize the severity after talking to the doctors. There was a chance that during the pregnancy that it would either flare up and be a nightmare or I would have a normal, healthy pregnancy. Fortunately for me it was normal and healthy. It was until after the last pregnancy did the crohn's start to show its ugly symptoms but they were not too severe until recently.
Does he understand? I think to a point he does but until you have been through it you have no idea what it is like. In the last four years he has been diagnosed with diabetes 2 and heart problems so he is starting to understand and on the other hand it has also helped me understand what he is going through.
My Dh is understanding, especially since mine is very diet sensitive. He knows there are certain things he can't bring in the house to eat because it is just unfair. He can eat them when I am not around and he gets treats here and there. He also is supportive of me never going off my diet. He saw how bad it was when I didn't follow it or accidentally had food contamination. It was miserable and he often thought he needed to call the ER. I had this before we met, so he knew this was something he was going to have to deal with when he married me. He thought long and hard about what it would mean to possibly always have a sick wife. He loved me anyway. When I was really sick last year and I was down to eating veggies, meat, eggs, rice and beans and that was IT, he was very supportive. Even eating what I ate and trying to pull me out of my depression by being just a happy person. I never took meds for the depression, but I found ways to help myself be happy despite my illnesses. Now that pregnancy has helped my body get back what it lost, I am back to eating a regular celiac diet with a lot more variety. If you call celiac diets variety, it is compared to what it was before, I am so much happier. He was there with me when I went to several GI's that gave me a load of BS and I had to just deal with it. Anyway, I personally couldn't ask for a more supportive spouse. I am glad it took him time to think about if he could handle being married to a person who will have years of difficulty with health. I cried often when I was really sick, just because he was so wonderful and I have to admit to not expecting him to be so great. I know I married him for a reason.
Married 7 years to my wonderful Dh
Well since I just got diagnosed earlier this year I'd say he's OK so far. He never goes to any doctor's appointmetns with me, but he's never done that anyway. I wish he was a little more supportive, but I'm not sure what else I'd want him to do.