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I pretty much had an idea that she was because of the rages she would go into or the depressions she would sink in. But having the actual diagnosis makes is so *official*. She already takes Topamax for migraines, and he said that is a good mood stabilizer, too, so he just increased the dosage of that for now. He wants to see if that helps before trying something stronger. He'll see her again in three weeks to see if that has helped.
Her psychiatrist also told me I needed to make an appt to see him. He said he could tell I an anorexic just by looking at me. But his first avail new patient consult isn't until Apr 20th.
Oh Janetta! How concerned you must be,as her Mother. I feel for you...and poor Emily. How unfair...and at such a young age! How is she handling things? Or is she unaware at this point?
I'm worried about YOU too! Can you get into another doctor sooner to help you?
I worry about my Emily too...it's too hard to tell at her age though...if it's because she is gifted,ADHD or bi-polar...but there is *something* off. Of course,I love her all the same!!
(((HUGS))) To you and Miss Emily!
I'm here for you if you'd like to talk!![/b]
Right now she is ok. Yesterday she was driving me nuts because she was SOOOOO manic. At least now we have the diagnosis, and I had suspected it already, so it really didn't come as too much of a shock to me. She would just fly into these rages over the strangest little things-Austin writing on a piece of her paper, things that were just accidents but she blew them out of proportion. Other times you could just lookat her and she would start to cry. So I pretty much had an idea. I think she feels better knowing the she isn't *crazy* and that there really is something wrong with her chemical balances that makes her feel this way. Now we just have to fix it.
I really, really liked this psychiatrist, and that was the only reason I agreed to an appt with him for myself. I've never actually seen one that I felt comfortable with. I would see them 2 or 3 times and then stop. That is probably why I still struggle with anorexia so much today. That is the one thing in my life I have control over-what I choose to or not to eat. So most of the time I choose not to. I feel gross, fat, ugly and unloveable, and I feel that the thinner I am, the more control I have over my life. Unless someone has suffered from this illness before, they just can't really understand it. April 20th does seem like a long way away, but it will be here before we know it.
Right now I have to get Emily well, then I can focus on myself. And part of me nows that having her in an environment where there is nothing but screaming, yelling cussing and throwing things isn't going to benefit her in the long run.
Emily seems to be doing better. The increase in her Topamax seems to be helping, plus he put her on a sleeping pill that is really helping her to sleep at night. She hasn't seemed nearly as high strung the past few days. I'm hoping that it will continue this way, as I am really not wanting to medicate her with something strong as young as she is.
Me-well I'm ok. You can go to the Eating Disorders board and read my post titled "A Day in the Life of my Eating Disorder" if you like. I think I posted it Tuesday or Wednesday. I am struggling, that's all I can say. And too many people want to just tell me to eat more, or quit making myself get sick after I eat. And it's not that easy. I've lost 4 pounds since last week, which to me is wonderful. I still want to lose 10 more pounds, and that will be ok. I'm still very depressed, but I am working on that, too.