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My 14 y/o brother..


Forum: Moms of Teens and Preteens

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  #1  
February 18th, 2005, 11:22 AM
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Location: *queen city* of North Carolina
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Our parents divorced when he was 10, I was 14, and the middle brother 12. After the fact the middle brother and I are fine content my youngest brother, just hasn't dealt with it at all. He has problems at school, problems at home, and is just a total wreak. Hes lived between my dad, my mom, my dad, my aunt, my dad over the last 4 years. He refuses, flat out, to go to school, and when you make him he wants to move to live with somebody else. He's never liked school [partilly, because he's dyslexic and my mom exp just yells at him if he writes a P, instead of a 9 or other things like that, its really mild, though but it doesn't help]. He was doing really well, up in NY. But now, he wants to move back to NC, after living w/ my dad in NM.

I've always told both my brothers they always have a place with me if i'm living on my own. So he thinks he wants to move in with me or my mom, but i'm not making any sudden moves towards that, and my mom wants him to stay in NM and I think its best for him to have some stablity.

I've told my parents things he's told me inconfidence, because they are the ones that need to do something. HE told me about thoughts of sucide, saw some things he really shouldn't have, heard some things he shouldn't have, etc, and NEEDS help professionally, outside family.

He just is totally ou t of control, I just wish I could make everything better.

Anybody have a teen/pre teen like this? How did you help them? or even a sibling? I just don't know anymore, it just breaks my heart, he has so much potential, but is failing.
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  #2  
February 18th, 2005, 02:41 PM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}} So sorry your brother is having rough times. It sounds like he could use some good family counseling. Maybe you could suggest it to whom ever he is living with. They can also be a part of the counseling. Keeping in close contact with him is a plus. Even if it is over the phone by e.mails, letters & cards. Just always let him know you are there for him. I hope & Pray he gets the help he needs.




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  #3  
February 18th, 2005, 05:27 PM
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Thanks My dad accually, "thought" about it, but has made no efforts to seriously go to anything. I always call him, even if its just to say hey at least every couple days, even though 1/2 the time he just says "hang on heres dad" LOL!
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  #4  
February 20th, 2005, 08:30 AM
tamw402004's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hope all works out for him. Maybe you should mention counseling to your Dad again. I bet you are a good sister! You seem so caring! My kids are all very close with each other too.
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  #5  
February 21st, 2005, 05:26 AM
fka teresarunningmommy
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 47,594
Oh lordy, my brothers are all messed up. I took one of my brothers on for a little while, but it eventually got to be too much for me. He was disrupting my whole family. As much as I think you should help, you need to look at your life and see if you can really handle this or not. Talk to your parents and see if they can get him in counseling. I wish I had better advice, unfortunately I haven't figured out how to deal with this myself.

Teresa
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  #6  
February 21st, 2005, 07:36 AM
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Thanks

I talked to my dad, the other day via e-mail, and he said my brother isn't fighting to go to school anymore. But he's not doing well in school ::rolls eyes::

It just bothers me so much, because I want to help him, but right now I can't even take care of myself, let alone him. I have to say, he is in a good place at my dad's right now. At least he's not with my mom.

I told him, my brother needs professional help, outside, our messed up "family." He just agrees but thats it :/ I just feel helpless. At least my dad, did take the initative to talk to his PCP, and he suggested that my dad take him to a psycologist, because he obviously has some issues, and needs serious help, exp since he isn't going to school, because then police/DSS, etc get involved, and there maybe other reasons or things going on that are causing him to not want to go to school.

I guess all I can do is HOPE TO GOD, that he starts doing what he has to do, cuz right now he's on the verge of failing 8th grade. Just by absences alone, he's a smartkid, if he used his potential. I know, I used school work as my outlet for fustration, as well as sports.
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