[mom2more]

I have an 11 yr old who struggles in school. He rushes through his work and sometimes misses important directions in the mix. When something is not easy for him he wants to give up instead of trying. He gets emotional about his grades though when they are low, so I know he cares about school.

At home he has to do his homework before he plays. So he comes home from school, eats a snack, and gets started. I always check his homework and have him make corrections so all his homework is 100%. I help him study for tests. When his cursive was messy and was affecting his spelling grades I had him start practicing cursive. I have him in tutoring once a week to work on basic math and reading skills. Some stuff he does well on and other stuff he struggles. His way of showing something is hard is either trying to get someone to do it for him or him just sitting there doing nothing. In the past he has had teachers who called him lazy and unmotivated to his face and to me. Because of this he gets really defensive. I talk to him all the time about the importance of school and how if he does not do his best now then jr high and high school are going to be even harder for him. I tell him that school is not supposed to be easy, you have to try hard to do well sometimes. Not everything is going to come easy.

At the beginning of the school year I requested a case study on him. The school met with me and determined that it was unnecessary at the time because they felt he was not having trouble academically. We are supposed to meet again in December. I don't know what to do!

His teacher called me again today about him acting unmotivated in class. I told her he was having trouble on the homework for that class last night. She told me that the rest of the class had no issues with the assignment and finished the school portion today just fine. It was just my son who was not finishing it and when she sat with him he knew what to do.

I am at a loss on what to do. I reward and punish him at home for school stuff. I give him incentives to do well in school. I do not know what else I could do!

[Lisadear]

this might sound really weird but it worked for me with both kids

I used to make the kids do homework before playing or relaxing and I got to realise that they rushed their homework so that they could do whatever after

How about trying something different such as letting him relax for a bit and play (nothing strenuous of course) give him a time for the play to stop, do the homework then go back and play after

I realised that the kids really used to just be rushing their homework to play, read, watch tv, or just sit around

Remember that these kids are on the go with schoolwork from quite early in the morning for most of the day so they do need a break

Dunno if this would work for you but it did work for me when I did up a timetable of after they reached home, showered and ate something to relax for about 1 hour (again nothing strenuous) then do homework THEN go back and play

I realised that because the kids had relaxed and played before doing their homework it didn't seem so rushed anymore really.

xxx Lisa xxx

[mom2more]

I have tried that and noticed that the later it gets the more whiney he gets about his homework. I get better results from him when he gets it done before playing.

[Lisadear]

hmmmm what we have here in Trinidad are places that offer homework supervision when it seems that kids can't settle down properly to do their homework

basically what it is really is just a place that offers a service to the parents to help them supervise the homework and help out the kids if they need any extra tutoring or help while doing it

I don't know if you have that in your part of the world but if you do then it wouldn't hurt to check it out

xxx Lisa xxx

[Mamasdaughter]

You sound like a really great mom. You are so involved and you care so much. Your son is lucky. I think you are both really blessed.

[Wendeeda]

It's great that your son cares about his grades. That's a great start. My ten year old boys have similar problems. One gets frustrated easily and gives up. The other just seems blissfully unaware that he doesn't understand the instructions. I have found that sometimes a change in scenery helps. When I'm not to worn out I will take one in the back yard to my minature flower garden and we'll plop down on the ground and do homework there.

It's not an over all fix. But it does get help get us through an occasional homework assignment.

Kids need their creative juices jumpstarted sometimes just like the rest of us.