[SnowAngel]

Right now I have another major problem with my son. Coming home on time/Checking in on time. The kids have a watches and check in (right now its every 30 minutes because I am at the end of my pregnancy, otherwise its every hour).

a little background. Before this incident in April he was great at checking in. Then in April he went missing. He never misses a meal. Is afraid of the dark. He was always good about coming home especially since playing outside stops at meal time at 6pm.

DH went out looking for him. Then neighbors went looking for him. We had to call the police because we had looked every where. After the police became involved it was about 3 hours later that he was finally found. Turns out he was at a friends house we knew nothing about and in a neighborhood that was not ours. He ate dinner there. His friend told him that the bad people were out when it got dark out, so he was scared to come home in the dark. The parents were not home but the older brother was. Finally the friends mom comes home and brings him home. It was almost 10 pm.

He was grounded for a month to the house. Extra chores. But when he was let back out to play outside. it was to our street only. Checking in on time. He did well for a month or two with that so we extended the streets he was allowed to play on.

The checking in gradually went away. Wasn't where he told us he would be. Not asking to go with a friend to the ball field by the school. which is really a block over but still. (this is where some of the lieing came in, he would tell his friends father we said it was ok). So we have grounded him to the house, took away the other streets, grounded him to the yard, then just to the backyard cause he would leave the front yard.

I don't know how to get him to understand that he needs to check in and tell us where he is going to be. He was great before that incident.

Right now because dh is deployed and I have quick labors and its towards the end of my pregnancy. I can't let him play anywhere but the backyard because I can't trust him enough to come home and check in or even to stay where he says he is going to be.

Its so frustrating. I wonder sometimes if its because of the attention he got when he went missing and came home.

Any ideas, thoughts?

[Mom2Froggy]

I would crack down and not let him outside. If he can't be responsible enough to prove himself, then he should be allowed inside only. I bet he will think it SUCKS and think twice the next time he is allowed out and doesn't check in.

Maybe get him a watch that beeps, and set it for every 30 minutes, so when he hears that alarm go off he knows to go home and check in. But I honestly wouldn't let him out a good long time, get it through his head that he cant do that.

[SnowAngel]

We have done the "not let him outside" thing. Also did that for various lengths of times(days,weeks) He also has a watch with a alarm that beeps. he ignores it.

He just does not care. heck we even grounded him to his room thinking that that would get through to him. took everything out but his bed and nightstand so he didn't have anything to play with and he still does not care.

[Lisadear]

ground him to inside the house INDEFINITELY then ... see if that works ... he's bound to get frustrated at some point and hopefully realise that he just cannot walk over you or try to especially when your DH is deployed ... he's trying to take advantage of you right now especially when he knows you're the main one at home and he will do it more when the baby is born if he's not put into check right now

xxx Lisa xxx

[Kierasmom]

I would stop letting him out. You are the one in control. If he refuses to follow your rules then take away the privilege.

[Wendeeda]

Put your foot down.

If he's suppose to check back every 30 minutes then at EXACTLY 31 minutes you go get him and he's in for the rest evening. And if that doesn't work increase it up to a week. Once he understands that there is no wiggle room he'll stop wiggling.