[dawn72]

I usually hang out at the July '08 playroom.

I'll quickly introduce myself. I have a son (11), and two daughters (7&2).
I'm looking for some advice as my son is turning into a thankless, selfish and uncaring person and I would really like to stop his behaviour before it gets worse. He seems to have no compassion for other peoples feelings and argues and fights with his sister (7) all day long. When DH is not home he is very abusive to me verbally. Today I told him he was a bully and he stopped but I'm worried for his future with an attitude like he has lately.
Unfortunately I do see my younger two beginning to copy his behaviour.
The icing on the cake (so to speak) was when a little girls parents showed up at the door to yell at me because my older two were picking on their daughter and my daughter punched her in the face.
I would like to find a job for the summer for my 11 year old. I was thinking maybe volunteering at a local food bank or soup kitchen. I really don't know what else to do, advice please.....

[mamma_anna]

Just wanted to say hi. I wish I had helpful advice for you. I've been lucky not to have expirienced that attitude with my girls yet. But my 10 year old nephew is definitely going through this phase and my SIL is at her witts end over it so you are definitely not alone.
I like your idea about having him volunteer somewhere. Just don't expect him to be thrilled about it at first. I'm just thinking out loud here but maybe you'll have more success with it if you allow him to have some say in where he volunteers. Make it tie into his interests somehow if you can.
Good Luck!

[wefrogy]

have you considered enrolling him in boy scouts? My son has been in scouting since 1st grade.

He may be in the beginning stages of puberty and going through some changes internally that are bringing on these behavioral changes.

have you talked to him to see if anything is going on at school with kids bullying him or peer pressures that may be affecting his behavior?

How are things going?