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  • 1 Post By badgirl11381
  • 1 Post By cybele

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  #1  
March 21st, 2012, 12:54 PM
badgirl11381's Avatar Super Mommy
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So, how do you approach relationships with your children? I encourage my daughter to be open with me. I have taken them on dates, with me and her 7 year old sister to chuck e cheese lol. It's that or they don't see each other. She, isn't allowed to be around her BF unsupervised tho.
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  #2  
March 21st, 2012, 08:23 PM
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David has only had 1 real girlfriend..according to him he's had a lot, but they've been the ones that last a week if even that and then mutually break up to "date" other friends. The one real relationship he had we met her and her dad at the park one day and exchanged #'s, they talked and text-ed constantly, we allowed him to go over to her house after school twice with her dad there and go to foot ball games with them and we invited her to go to things with us...they broke up after 3 months, but are currently talking again. We really liked her, but honestly, David wasn't/isn't mature enough for a relationship ans this go around we are not encouraging very much due to how they treated each other after they broke up
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  #3  
March 21st, 2012, 09:13 PM
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Rick and I don't have a set age for when the girls can have a boyfriend. Meagan’s had 1 so far (she's 15). Our rules are: boyfriends are welcome in our home any time (as long as we’re home of course) and if we know and trust his parents then she is welcome to be at their house when his parents are home. Only group dates or family outings until they’re 17. Maybe we're on the conservative side but it's working for us so far.
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  #4  
March 22nd, 2012, 03:47 PM
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I agree with you both...parental supervision is key..im not trying to be a 31 yr old grammy lol
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  #5  
March 24th, 2012, 11:31 PM
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I guess im the exception. I let my teens date without supervision.

Dita has had a steady girlfriend for 2 years, they go out on dates alone, she goes over to her house when her parents arent home and vice versa, that said, I suppose there isnt a teenage pregnancy risk there, haha. She had a 'boyfriend' briefly before that, but I wasnt strict on her because I knew nothing was going to happen, it was glaringly obvious that she saw him as nothing more than a friend and only dated him to curb the lesbian rumors at her school.

Azriel hasnt really had any real girlfriends, theres been a few dates here and there, but nothing serious, again, I dont supervise his dates, or take him anywhere, or insist on meeting the girls he goes out with (unless, of course, it was becoming a serious thing, then I would certianly like to get to know her) he has a good head on his shoulders and I trust him to be responsible.
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  #6  
March 25th, 2012, 04:27 AM
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I let them date without supervision, but they usually go out with groups of friends anyway! I think my 16 year old would freak if I told her I was taking her and her BF to McDs with her 5 year old sister!
I do insist on meeting them at some point and they aren't allowed to be in bedrooms alone with them. They can be alone in the lounge, but it's a through road for the whole family so nothing happens
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  #7  
March 25th, 2012, 02:08 PM
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I often wonder if id be stricter if Dita were dating a guy. Bringing a girl home is something im yet to experience with Azriel, and Sunny and Lux are still at the point of only having crushes on TV stars.

I guess its that safeguard of "whats going to happen?" Dita ia pretty open with me and has told me that both her and her girlfriend are each other's first, at that, they still know about safe sex and that it is still 100% relevant in a same-sex relationship, but its not like she's going to come to me and go "Im pregnant" if she does I would probably have more questions than concearns.

I guess im also of the belief that if teens want to go and have sex, they will find a way to do it, I sure did, and I went to an all-girls Catholic school run by nuns where my strict, religious mother dropped me off and picked me up at the front gate every day, and wouldnt let me go out with friends, let alone boys.Where theres a will, theres a way, and I guess I dont really want my kids having sex with their friend's brother who they just met in a storm water drain at 2am like their mother did.
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  #10  
June 15th, 2012, 01:30 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by badgirl11381 View Post
im not trying to be a 31 yr old grammy lol
My mom was a grandma at 32. She wasn't ready for it but knew it was possible since she had her first at 16.


We don't really have too many rules in regards to dating. Kristi has a bf, and we've met him & his parents. He seems like a really nice guy and Kristi can be a princess so for someone to treat her the way we have seen him treat her, we are pretty ok with it. They both know that if they want to hang out at each others houses at least one of the parents has to be home & here they aren't allowed to go into her bedroom and close the door or kick Leah out (Kristi & Leah share a room).

Her mom was 16 when she had her, and she's seen her aunts go thru young teen pregnancies and wants none of it...so I really hope she sticks to that for awhile. *fingers crossed* But with that being said, she came to me earlier this year wanting to know more about sex than they teach in school...that was awkward but I survived We're pretty open with the kids so when they are ready we hope they'll come to us first so we can get them on the pill and/or condoms to help them protect themselves.

Because I did it, I'm with cybele on the whole...
Quote:
Originally Posted by cybele View Post
I guess im also of the belief that if teens want to go and have sex, they will find a way to do it
The best we can do is help protect/prepare them.
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  #11  
September 16th, 2012, 04:16 PM
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My oldest daughter is 13 and last year she had a few "boyfriends" when she went to a public school in Ohio. However, we moved to Florida right before school let out and she met and became infatuated with a family friend. I noticed and laid down a few rules... The main rule was that they were to remain "friends" and use the next 5 years to get to know each other until she turns 18. However, my sister has a distorted way of thinking and has begun to cause me some problems concerning my daughter's COURTSHIP.

What gets to me the most is the fact that my sister just had a baby and she keeps telling me how to raise my 13 year old. I hate it because I feel all of my parenting rights are being stripped from me even though my daughter has never drank alcohol, smoked, done drugs, had sex or been in trouble with the law. I am at my wits end.

Just recently her friend had told me that he can't handle the pressure anymore and has to let her go. I understand his decision and pray everything works out in the end. I only gave them my blessing because I didn't want my daughter to go behind my back and sneak around while she was staying at her uncle's. Plus, if she can find her true love on the first shot... Then I am all for it within boundaries.

Was I wrong?
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  #12  
September 23rd, 2012, 08:46 PM
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We have a 17 yr old boy 14 yr old girl, We don't allow are children to date to many feelings they don't need to worry about , The only thing they need to worry about is school and chores And they are making A s and B s so its worth it, The way we parent we dont care if they like us, we are the parent not a friend now when they are adults then we can be friends , Our job is to raise them to become adults that are able to take care of them selves and independent the only one they need is Jesus.

I was raised to wear I had so called boyfriends I ended up Dropping out of school and getting pregnant at 16 yrs old ,
It is just not worth it letting children date at a young age, they have no Idea what it means
they go threw all the feelings and emotions that does not need to happen, then break up then on to the next then break up and so on and on and on.

Last edited by tonyasaved; September 23rd, 2012 at 08:47 PM. Reason: add more
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  #13  
October 15th, 2012, 09:49 PM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We just started dealing with this issue recently with my 15 yr old. She has her first boyfriend. We have had him over here to hang out and they have gone out with groups of friends to school events. I also drove them and picked them up from a movie.

She has told me about getting her first kiss from him and holding hands with him. So far its pretty innocent. I am hoping to keep the lines of communication open so she will feel comfortable coming to me about things. We have talked about sex and all the emotions and responsibilities that come with it.

We try to make sure they are not really alone and hope that she makes the right choices. As a parent it is scary though! But I feel that if we are too strict and overbearing she will just sneak around and hide things from us.
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  #14  
October 16th, 2012, 12:45 PM
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I wish some of you moms take a look at my post from last night "new here need advice". I see some of your dd's are older and I would love to know what did you do when you caught them in lies or asked to date. How did you keep them on track? What were there curfews, where could they go? What discipline measures did you take? If any of you have a daughter who at 12 was starting to get out of control and she changed please what did you do? Please.....thank you
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  #15  
October 23rd, 2012, 02:17 PM
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This is how we've dealt with dating ....
Up until the age of 15 they could have "boyfriends/girlfriends" but they could only see them at school/school functions/church.
At 15 they can double date (that is with some sort of chaperone - a tattle tale sibling or us - sitting away from them but not out of our sight)
At 16 they can single date - though I really don't like it

Curfews:
The girls - generally 10 at 15/16 and 10:30-11 at 17 depending on what date activity they were doing and 11:00 at 18+ if they are living under our roof (unless it is a job or classes then later as appropriate --- yes I've had a college class last until 10:30 and it was approx 45 minutes away - so after 11)
The boys - slightly different - an example is better than trying to describe our formula ...... 17 year old is taking a 16 year old out and she lives 15 minutes from us .... 10:00 (set by the girl's age) plus 30 minutes (we do not want him rushing home to beat curfew - too many friends were in accidents that way while we were growing up) = 10:30 ... he is 17 so this could possible be moved to 11 if he were hanging with friends and depending on what they were doing

While we had pretty set rules, we were/are also fluid with those rules when needed. Compared to a lot of parents around here we are super strict for having such early curfews.
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Last edited by 8forus; October 23rd, 2012 at 02:20 PM. Reason: clarification
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  #16  
November 1st, 2012, 02:19 AM
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I guess I would be the exception here. I told my 13 year old daughter that it would be best not to have any boyfriend yet and to just focus on studies first. I trust her enough to know that she is following me.
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