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Hi all. I introduced myself a few mins ago so I hope it is ok to jump right in here. I am having a problem I could really some advice on. My youngest son's best friend (nearly 13) has diabetes. For the longest time LC did a great job of handling everything but recently he has became very nonchalant about it. His mom generally asks me to keep him 3-4 evenings a week while she works and he usually spends 2-3 weekends a month here with my son so I have him a great deal of the time and I'm really struggling with his attitude.
His entire diet consists of Chocolate Cheerio's for breakfast, a pizza lunchable with fries or chips for lunch, chicken tenders or 2 slices of cheese pizza and fries or chips for dinner and granola bars for snacks with dill pickles and string cheese thrown in as "free" foods. Not the sort of stuff I feed my kids but I keep his stuff stocked and don't rock the boat there. Lately though he refuses to eat on time, will spend hours fighting me on getting out of bed to eat in the morning and sneaks and gets food he knows he can't have after I am in bed. Then he goes home and when his mom checks his meter she sees the sky high numbers and comes down on me for it.
I just don't know what to do anymore. His mom & I have been best friends since the boys were in Pre-K but this is really doing a number on our friendship. I know she really needs the help so I keep agreeing to keep him for her but I'm about ready to stop. I've talked to her so many times and she swears she will talk to him and then nothing changes. I have a nerve disorder in my face and there are times that my tongue touching the roof of my mouth feels like a drill going through my head. I can't spend 2 hours trying to get him out of bed when I'm crying with every word. Short of locking all the food up I can't keep him from pigging out after I'm asleep. That has even became a problem between the boys because my son tries to stop him or "tattles" on him and they end up in major fights.
I'm just at my wits end and would really appreciate some advice or suggestions. Thanks so much!
So sorry you have to deal with this! Sounds frustrating.
My best advice.... ask his mother for suggestions or tips on how she gets him eat well and monitor his sugar. Make it clear to her that you are trying your best but you're at a loss at this point and would really appreciate some specific guidance from her about how she gets him to comply because you are very worried about his health.
If that doesn't work then I'd suggest just respectfully telling her that you care about your friendship with her and about his health too much to continue caring for him because he's not getting what he needs. Maybe tell her that YOU would be willing to talk with a diabetes educator with her to come up with a better solution.
As a mother of a special needs child I can tell you that it really is such a blessing to have good friends who are willing to help me out. Just throwing in my thanks to you for that. The world needs more people like you.
If someone isn't sure how to handle something, I respond much better to them asking for my input than to them just trying to figure things out and getting frustrated. If we can't figure something out together then I'd rather have them help me in some other way (even just being a good listener when I need one) than to continue to stress themselves out while my daughter isn't getting what she needs.
I'm not at all trying to imply you're not doing your best or that you can't care for him. I hope you don't take it that way. Even the best caregivers need some compliance from the other side for things to work. If he's not being compliant for you then something needs to change.
Hope things get better.
Oh... and to the moms of teens and pre-teens board! I hope you'll stick around. We'd love to get to know you.
I'm Anna btw. Mamma to 4 girls. Meagan is almost 16, Abbey is 13, Kayla's 9 and Ellie is 6.
Last edited by mamma_anna; May 1st, 2012 at 03:20 PM.