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My 15 year old son is living with his dad now. Who just had a few strokes and fixing to start dialysis.
My son is totaly taking advantage of the situation. He's been missing alot of school - not even passing some of this 6/week classes and he's snuck out twice.
Last night he snuck out and went to a friends house. Wasn't even home when his dad went to wake him up this morning.. and missed school again.
I am at a loss. I can't control this kid living at his dads yet I get to be the one who chases him down and drags him home when he's on the loose.
What do I do? His dad really isn't even supposed to be left alone after the stroke - so him sneaking out is defeating the purpose of him being there....
Oh wow for starters I'm really sorry. This puts you in an impossible position but your son is not really old enough to be a caregiver anyway..It sounds more like fear than rebellion. He doesn't want adult responsibility so he is running from it. My recommendation price a live in nurse or care facility and get your son back home ASAP sounds like he's not in the place to make good decisions right now and could get himself arrested or worse.
He should be living with you. He's still a child and his Dad can't give him the care he needs. His Dad should hire care for himself if possible. That is to much emotionally for a 15 yr old to handle. When he comes home do not tolerate sneaking out. You must take action or it will get worse. He could end up in situations he's not ready to handle(despite what he thinks). Are there curfew laws there? He could get in trouble.
Could it be that he resents being in the position of having to care for his father? I mean he is only 16. Furthermore, if the father is that sickly, why isn't the child living with you? He absolutely needs a parent who can oversee him on a daily basis and that sounds like you, rather than dad. Have you looked into counseling, alternative programs, etc.?
If he is going to keep staying with him then I hate to say it but you have to be the heavy. Stay on him like white is rice. Call him when he's supposed to be home and if need be put google latitude on his cell so you can follow him around and let him know that you are. This is the point in his life that he needs the most discipline and if he continues down this path it's not going to work out for him.
He may hate you for doing it now but when he's older he will appreciate it.