Log In Sign Up

need to vent


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

Notices

Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to boards@justmommies.com.

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Pregnancy Loss LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
  #1  
April 4th, 2009, 11:27 PM
Rh♥nda's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: SW TX
Posts: 7,132
So tonight I just couldnt fall asleep, still cant.
I started lurking over the DDC I was part of till the miscarriage. I just started getting really sad and upset. Then I just started to lose it, I just keep thinking I should still be pregnant. I know my hormones are probably still all out of wack but I just cant help it. I so wanted to be pregnant and add to our family.
DH is at work (he is on the night shift) and I just wish he was here because I need his support.
We have talked about trying again later on, but I dont know if it is just my emotions, but I feel terrified to try again, even though I want to so bad. I want to try right away but I am so scared what can happen and I know I couldnt possibly handle another miscarriage.
I am sorry to keep ranting like this.
__________________
Special thanks to AlexAiden Mommy for my AWESOME siggy!
Reply With Quote
  #2  
April 5th, 2009, 01:26 AM
MandyRS's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 2,640
Oh hon... I know what you mean, SO much! It is so horribly scary. The whole week I was going through the pain and uncertainty, not knowing 100% if my baby was gone, I kept looking at my mom and saying "I can never, ever do this again, not EVER." I was so scared, in so much pain emotionally and physically, nauseous and achy. It can do such a number on you, and the hormones DO NOT help. Esp. the dramatic plunge after an m/c, creates a post-partum depression type feeling to boot. NOT FAIR! Like we wouldn't be depressed anyway. It will get better, and you will find your courage again because you are a strong and brave woman... your angel will be watching over you and is already a jewel in your crown.
__________________
IT'S A BOY!!!!



THANK YOU to *Sharon* for my perfect siggy.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
April 5th, 2009, 03:44 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,389
to you. I clicked on my DDC once (after the original post to say that I was leaving). Even as it was going to the page I knew it was a mistake. I scrolled over the topics but just knew how awful it was going to make me feel so I stopped and haven't been back since. I thought I would be fine with reading all the other happy news but I wasn't - because it should have been me too.

I'm the same - I do want to try again and dh is on board with that too, but I can't get past thinking that I never want to go to another pregnancy appt and hear that 'it doesn't look good, I can't find a heartbeat'. Every time I think about that moment I feel down. (It was only 1.5 weeks ago so I know it will get better).

Anyway I think we will ttc again but I'm definitely making sure it doesn't happen until one cycle has passed. I'm still bleeding after the curette anyway but I'll just have to make sure we're careful until I get my first af post miscarriage.

Anyway sorry, didn't mean to hijack your post. Guess I just wanted to let you know that I'm feeling the same things you're feeling
__________________
Lenore

Thanks to Meganpixel for my beautiful siggie!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
April 5th, 2009, 07:54 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Oh honey.

Deciding to try again is probably the single most terrifying decision to make after a loss. It's very normal to be scared. One of the hardest, most lasting things about a loss is that your innocence is taken away. You are now very aware that losses not only can happen, but they can happen to you. And unfortunately that never completely goes away.

Cry as much as you need to honey. Vent as much as you need to. That's what we're here for after all.
__________________
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog


Reply With Quote
  #5  
April 5th, 2009, 08:54 AM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
Vent and cry all you need, hon. I understand your fear about TTC completely...when I learned that I was pregnant, I said that I would never be able to survive a miscarriage. Little did I know that I would HAVE to. Now I'm terrified of losing another baby.

I know that my desire to hold our child in our arms is stronger then my fear, and that is what is going to give me the courage to try again. You have that courage, as well. But we're here for you when the sorrow just feels like it's too much.
__________________




Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009

Visit
BeaMade for unique, adorable, high quality handmade crochet hats and booties, velcro free soother clips and soft sole baby boots.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
April 5th, 2009, 09:10 AM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,315
Ronda24, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. The thought of concieving again is so very frightening. I know it will take some time to get the courage again, but I will try in a couple of months as well. We can only take it one day at a time, and try to find the faith to show us through.

Sorry you cannot sleep very well, my dr. prescribed me sleeping pills last week after the dn/c. I did not sleep for 48hrs prior to the surgery. It has been helping some, but now I just get depressed in the am. The sun makes me so sad lately, because there is nothing bright about what we are going through.

We will make it through this together and come out on top, I believe that.

Stay strong sweetie, were here for you.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 5th, 2009, 10:02 AM
Kary♥RN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 8,388
Send a message via AIM to Kary♥RN Send a message via Yahoo to Kary♥RN
I am so Ronda, I didn't sleep well after my d/e... It a few weeks.. than I had my f/u and wasn't able to sleep a few days after that.. It is not uncommon.

You are so right.... I too am scared to death, you are told, that any pregnant woman has a 15% chance of miscarriage. Than you see these other woman on here, My self included.. who have more than one loss. Getting pregnant again.. I know the statistics are with me... The chance of me miscarrying again if you look at it like a numbers game, what do I have a 0%. But you always know that it could be you again what ever the numbers! It is so scarry. But like pennelope my want to have a baby in my arms is greater than my fear.
__________________

Thank you GraysMama For my BEAUTIFUL Siggy!!!

BFP 11/09/08 M/C 11/11/08 BFP 01/02/09 M/C 01/29/09 BFP 08/26/09 M/C 10/02/09 Missing our 3 Angles
Reply With Quote
Reply

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:08 PM.



Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0