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My first experience with family pg's


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
April 13th, 2009, 05:44 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,333
My DH got a call from his brother today telling him that their sister, who is 41, was so inspired by us getting pregnant, that she wanted to have another one. We told her last month when we saw the heart beat, that we were pg. She started that month, and today called their brother to announce that she got her BFP. Im happy for her, but was very sad at the same time. My DH was also very sad, he is not very close to her, guess thats why the other brother told him. She knows we lost the baby, and my DH said that she even cried for us. I have never met her, she lives in AZ, so I know I will not have to face seeing her throughout her pregnancy, but just knowing, hurts.

I thought I was too old to feel this kind of hurt/jealousy for something like this, but I guess we as women, no matter what age, feel this. At least I hope Im not the only one. By the way Im 38, I know sometimes I make it seem like Im 50, but some days, I guess I just feel that old
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  #2  
April 13th, 2009, 05:56 PM
MandyRS's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Mississippi
Posts: 2,648
Such a tough situation... I am so sorry you are dealing with those emotions. I would be so mad, and then feeling guilty for being mad, and mad for feeling guilty, endlessly! Just let yourself feel what you feel, you know in your heart you want nothing but the best for your SIL and her baby. Just take it one day at a time... and don't give up hope that looking back, this will be the best of news! After all, it's always fun to have a cousin close to your age!
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  #3  
April 13th, 2009, 06:34 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I totally understand how you feel. Like why them and not me? Why do I have to suffer this loss and pain and others get to have babies right away with no struggles?

I actually felt that small twinge of jealousy today when I saw a pregnant girl in the airport today, and I am not a jealous person by nature.

(((Hugs))) Lets pray it is our turns again in this lifetime.
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #4  
April 13th, 2009, 06:44 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,333
Mandy, I did think of the cousin thing later, and that made me feel good. But, they will probably not get to see eachother that much though.

Missy, what do you mean "in our lifetimes?", WE WILL have ours, SOON! No doubt. I was at the bowling alley last week, Im on a league, and a man asked a woman near by if she was pregnant, brave man, and she was. He was relieved that he did not put his foot in his mouth but I sat there listening to everything, and kept thinking, he should be asking me, I should be 11wks today. (was a week after my D&C). I cried, went to the bathroom, and came back out and DH new right away that I was crying. We bowl toghether, I know, how cute, lol. Guess this is part of the healing, but I cant wait to be pg again, and not have to think about this pain anymore.
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  #5  
April 13th, 2009, 07:14 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I am so sorry about the bowling alley honey. It should have been you and I am so sorry it wasn't. It will be though soon enough and when that same guy asks you if you are pregnant, tell him "no, just fat" and see how he reacts... ok, so I still have a small bit of humor left in me.

I go bowling with the boys (no league though) - I got my high score a few weeks ago - 115 and that was with the bumpers, lol
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #6  
April 14th, 2009, 06:37 AM
megal40's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,853
While I was reading this post I thought back a few years:

Three years ago I had a miscarriage and then became pregnant a month later. During my m/c recovery as well as my pregnancy I learned how many women go through this (here on JM and people around me). I remembered that "twing" when I saw a pregnant woman. Following my most recent m/c (three weeks ago) I have yet to see any pregnant women, but I know when I do I will feel that "twing" again.

I was in a store one day and ran into someone I hadn't seen in a long time. I was very pregnant and she gushed over my belly. As we were talking I saw a woman kind of watching us. She may have just been curious but I saw her face and remembered how I felt seeing pregnant women. I felt like walking up and telling her that I knew what she was feeling!

I guess my point is, feel better knowing that support and understanding comes from all around you-- even from strangers in a mall!
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  #7  
April 14th, 2009, 08:19 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Luckily for me, nobody in my family was pregnant while I was with Cora, and didn't become pregnant until after I was pregnant again, so I didn't have to deal with that with my family. But I was pregnant with two good friends, and had such a hard time when they got to take home their healthy baby girls.

However, the second of the good friends (the one that I joined JM the day she had her baby, lol) lost a baby boy at 21 weeks shortly after I had Erin. It was good that I was able to support her through that, as hard as it was for me when she had Abigail.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I agree with Mandy. Let yourself feel what you feel. Eventually you will come to love this baby, but for now, don't bury your hurt.

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Last edited by Brittanie; April 14th, 2009 at 08:27 AM.
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  #8  
April 14th, 2009, 08:20 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
WOW, that was touching. I seems there are pregnant women all around me today and maybe one of them can see that look of pain in my face and they understand. Thank you.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #9  
April 15th, 2009, 04:48 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittanie View Post
Let yourself feel what you feel. Eventually you will come to love this baby, but for now, don't bury your hurt.


On Monday, I learned that my brother and his girlfriend are expecting in October (her first, his third). He never even knew about Autumn I know that eventually I will be able to delight in my niece or nephew, but for now, all I can do is smile on the outside and then express how I really feel to people who understand (you guys ).
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