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Good Days, Bad Days... anyone see a councelor?


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
April 15th, 2009, 08:01 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
So yesterday was an ok day emotionally. I was busy at work, very productive and didn't cry. Today I am a mess all over again and just want to lay in bed and wake up when this pain is over.

Everything in my life just seems in such a standstill. I missed a Dr's appt for my youngest and am just all over the place.

The birthing center suggested I go see a grief councelor. Did anyone go to counceling? If so did it help?
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #2  
April 15th, 2009, 10:46 AM
lmunoz8517's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Bossier City, LA
Posts: 5,060
I did not go to counsling but I did some therapy of my own. My mom died when I was onyl 14 and I have cried many times because my kids never got to meet their grandmother. Once I had this miscarriage I told myself it was not supposed to be my baby. Carmen was ment for my mom. So she could have a grandchild for herself in Heaven. That helped me feel better but I was still a wreck. I wrote a ltter to my mom on the one month anniversary of the m/c which was oddly enough also my moms birthday and told her I hoped she was enjoying Carmen and I knew she was taking good care of her. As corney as that is I found my peace with what happened. Of course I still miss and will always miss Carmen but it helps a lot. I also named the baby. We kept saying the baby and I wanted him to have a name. Carmen was a good neutral name and fit with our C first names. Try finding something of your own as therapy and if nothing works I would suggest a counselor. Lots of hugs and thoughs coming your way.
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  #3  
April 15th, 2009, 12:21 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,307
Missy, Ive had good and bad days. Its two weeks for me tomorrow, and I think yesterday was the first day that I did not cry once all day. I still cant get it out of my mind though. I have never seen a councelor for m/c loss. Sometimes you just need to cry out loud, all day to someone close to you. Instead of holding it all in for the sake of our kids, work and SO's. Give yourself one day to let it all out, to just cry until you cant no more. Sounds like your BF would be a good person for that. I remeber wanting to just go to sleep until the pain was gone, your in the worst part right now, but I promise you, you WILL slowly come around again. Were here for you...
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  #4  
April 15th, 2009, 12:38 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
Yea, today just sucks... Thanks for being here.

I smoked 2 cigs, ate all day and cried and it just sucks. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be complaining about morning sickness and how I was getting fat and eating too much and... well you know.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.




Last edited by missy123; April 15th, 2009 at 12:41 PM.
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  #5  
April 15th, 2009, 03:23 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,307
I know Missy, sometimes I hate dressing up for work, because I should not be fitting into my suits anymore. I was not wearing any dress clothes prior to the m/c, cause my belly got so big. The last u/s the tech even said the uturis is above the pelvic bone in the adominal area. Now I can wear all of my clothes again, and I hate it. I wish I were still in my comfy clothes and still growing, Im there with you. I even hate putting makeup on, was not wearing that either when I was pg, cause I had a nice glow. Thats gone too.........
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  #6  
April 15th, 2009, 05:29 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I can so relate about the clothes. I gained so much weight right away and wasn't feeling guilty about it. I was so happy getting a big belly and it was so cute. Now I still have all that weight (about 10lbs) and no reason for it except I am fat now. Thank goodness that I was home today, I just stayed in sweatpants. I can't fit into any of my clothes, don't want to buy bigger ones and can't wear the maternity clothes (that would hurt more inside).

Yesterday was a good day, I was feeling so confident in healing and was making my list of things to do before we try again and today is so rough. I totally regressed today. Just stayed in bed and cried. BF is on his way over, poor guy has to deal with all of my emotions. My 16 year old came home and layed in bed with me and has been watching tv with me. It was good to have someone here with me.

I have to go to Wisconsin Friday - Sunday, I just don't feel like traveling for work but hopefully it will keep my mind occupied.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



Reply With Quote
  #7  
April 15th, 2009, 07:54 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,307
Oh Missy, you do not have the extra weight for no reason. You gave your baby a healthy home while she was here. You should not expect your body to forget so soon that it was occupied and getting ready to expand even more. I can relate to the maternity clothes, DH went out and bought me some beautiful outfits and I finally had broke down and started to where them when we saw the heart beat. He put them all away for me when we came home from the hospital, so I would not have to look at them. I do however, plan on whereing them this summer, come hell or high water!
How comforting for you to have your 16yr old lay next to you, your first born? Its amazing how we are lucky to have our own children be there for us in our time of need. Funny how our circle of life comes together.

Tomorrow will hopefully be a little brighter for you, as I said before we all need a day in bed to just cry the day away.
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