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This girl working next to me is 10 weeks pregnant and I am losing it


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
April 17th, 2009, 05:26 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I am working at a conference in Milwaukee, the girl right next to me (about 3 feet away) is 10 weeks pregnant. She is working with another girl and they keep talking about it. How fat she is getting, her morning sickness, blah, blah, blah.... I just want to scream at her to stop complaining and be happy her baby is alive in her and she doesn't have to feel the pain I am right now.

I am really losing it... I just started crying in public. Oh my
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #2  
April 17th, 2009, 05:31 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I know how you're feeling. I have a very public job and can 't tell you how many pg girls would come in after I lost our baby. At first, I would just excuse myself and head to the bathroom to cry.
Is there any way you could work in a different spot away from her?
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  #3  
April 17th, 2009, 05:32 PM
Veteran
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 195
Iam so sorry missy, it's so hard to go through what we are going through
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  #4  
April 17th, 2009, 05:40 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
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Missy, Im sorry that your going through this. This is the part that really sucks, I wish I were there with you to give you a big hug. I would try to distract myself as much as possible. are you working with anyone else in your area of the conference? Maybe they could man the area while you go outside or just get away for a few. Count the minutes left in your day, hopefully your almost done. Let me know how your doing when you get back, I will be here all night.....
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  #5  
April 17th, 2009, 06:49 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Savannah GA
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I went in the bathroom and cried and called my BF. He was so supportive and asked if I could leave early because of the hard surroundings for me. I came back and figured I have to work next to her all day tomorrow also so I might as well face my demons.... I talked to her and asked her if it was her first baby .... blah blah blah... we talked for a few minutes. It honestly did not make me feel any better but it allowed me to at least ignore her for the past hour and not think about it.

That should be me....

I am on such a rollercoaster. One hour I am doing great and planning summer vacations and the next crying and feeling so empty.

Lopez, when I travel near you, we definatly need to meet. Love you!

I am so greatful for all of you here.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #6  
April 17th, 2009, 06:53 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
I'm so sorry, honey I'm glad that your boyfriend is supportive and understanding.

I'm on that rollercoaster, too. Today at work, everyone was hugging and congratulating a new grandma, and it made me think that I should be a new mom in just a few months. The pain took my breath away for a moment.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you. *HUGS*
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Last edited by ..Penelope..; April 17th, 2009 at 07:08 PM.
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  #7  
April 17th, 2009, 07:42 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Missy, God I wish you did not have to work next to her tomorrow. I was going to suggest you talk to her about it, but decided maybe that would be to hard. That was a brave effort on your part. Dont know if I could of, thats why I decided not to mention it. If she continues to speak so much about it tomorrow/tonight, maybe just lightly let her know your recent loss. Now that I type that, Im not sure if that would make you feel worse or not, god I cant wait for things to get easier for us. Just know that I feel your pain all the way over here. Your not alone...

I live outside of Chicago, maybe one day..........hugs to you
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  #8  
April 17th, 2009, 08:02 PM
megal40's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hi Missy, I was thinking about you today. I am sorry that it sounds like your first trip after your D&C had to be so emotional.

I think you did the right thing by being friendly with the other girl. As much as you wanted to scream at her for going on and on and on, I know that no one would wish what we are going through on anyone-- even a stranger. Your emotion just comes your fresh pain and envy. I think it is okay to say that I envy pregnant women. Even when (and I do say when) I am pregnant again, I will still envy those who have never been through a loss.

Hopefully now that you have gotten the small talk out of the way, you won't have to hear much baby talk tomorrow. I mean at 10 weeks she shouldn't be really showing so it shouldn't be a topic of immediate conversation with everyone, right? I will be thinking about you tomorrow.

By the way, how are you feeling physically?

Take care of yourself.
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  #9  
April 18th, 2009, 12:48 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I kind of blurted it out to her about my loss last night. I didn't mean to, it just kind of happend. She felt so bad (which was not my purpose). She hasn't said much at all today about being pregnant and has been nice to me. Thanks for the advice girls.


I am feeling good physically. I haven't bled much and had a little cramping near my left ovary today (feels like Ovulation cramping, but I know its way too early). The mental part is the challenge. I am still on that rollercoaster and looking forward to it ending.

You are all so wonderful, thank you for everything!
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #10  
April 18th, 2009, 01:13 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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I'm sorry I missed this (JM isn't bolding new topics for me, so I'm having a really hard time staying on top of things!).

I'm glad today is better, but I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I swear that pregnant people and newborns jump out of the walls at you after a loss.

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  #11  
April 18th, 2009, 07:28 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm glad that today was better for you, and you're feeling ok physically. I'm sending more*HUGS* your way. Remember that we're here for you, no matter what you need.
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  #12  
April 19th, 2009, 03:41 PM
Alpha_allie1010's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I cried at work twice since we lost our little one. One time someone just asked me how I was doing and I just started sobbing...so dont feel bad...we have all been there!
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  #13  
April 19th, 2009, 04:40 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Missy, Im glad your feeling pysically better. And who knows, with our "aging" hormones maybe you are getting ready to O? Im two and half weeks out and have been having EWCM all day. With my first AF out of the way, really quick I might I add, Im on cd12 and by the looks of things should O in the next 48hrs. God, just like clock work! I dont know if its my age, or I just bounce back quickly. Hope next month it works like this too.......
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  #14  
April 19th, 2009, 07:57 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Your body bounced back so fast. That is so awesome. I can't wait for AF, just to feel a little bit of normalcy in my life. Did your doctor say anything about your age and the loss? I know he said a lot and you asked many intelligent questions. I just don't remember if age was one of them. I guess I am just hoping that I am able to get pregnant again. At age 40, I read I only have a 4% chance.
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



Reply With Quote
  #15  
April 19th, 2009, 09:50 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,311
Missy I replied to you in the 35 and older board, but he did say that as long as your cycles are regular and you know your ovulating, than there should be no reason not to get pg. I do not believe that your chances drop to 4%. We have already been pg twice in 6mo!!!!! We just have to hold out for the "good" egg. Are chances are hopefully getting better no that we got the two bad ones out of the way!!
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  #16  
April 19th, 2009, 09:58 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I think we should find a blinkie somewhere that says COME ON GOOD EGGS! I think lack of sleep is getting to me...
__________________

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
.
Do not ever give up hope...


Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



Reply With Quote
  #17  
April 20th, 2009, 07:49 AM
LadyLacy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 818
((((Miss)))) I'm so sorry!, I'm glad you told her even if you didn't mean too.....

and ia, babies and bellies do seem to jump out more after a loss
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  #18  
April 21st, 2009, 04:10 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,389
I'm sorry Missy. I think it's great you told her about your loss - even better that she responded with kindness by not mentioning her pregnancy the next day. I know it's hard but it's only now that I'm sitting on this side, that I realise how the most simple things you say can hurt people so badly when you don't know the situation they're living.
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