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Now I feel horrible


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
April 17th, 2009, 08:48 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,333
Remember this week when I posted about a family member being inspired by my pregnancy, so she went off and became pg too? Well my SIL called my DH today to let him know that she was spotting and went for a blood test. They sent her for a u/s and the baby has a "slow" heart beat. I asked my DH how she measured and what was the heart beat, but like any good man, he did not ask! I want to call her and ask how she is, but one: Ive never even met her, and two: I think Im too emotional at this point and cannot support a women I dont even know. I feel like Ive bonded with everyone here and can say anything to you guys, but I feel just the opposite about my SIL. I asked my DH to ask her these questions, and to be there for her. God, what do I do? What do I say? I feel so rotten for not being excited for her when I found out, and now she is on the same roller coaster that we all were on. I pray the heart beat picks up for her and she will be ok, thats all I can do for her now.
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  #2  
April 18th, 2009, 08:37 AM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
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Are you feeling obligated to reach out to her because she is related by marriage? You said yourself that you do not know her. Don't put pressure on yourself honey. Did she reach out to you with your loss? Don't beat yourself up over it, you have a very giving heart and will do what you can when you can.
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  #3  
April 18th, 2009, 08:59 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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I agree with Missy, you shouldn't feel obligated to reach out to her. I think part of it is also that you, like any of us would be, were jealous of this pregnancy, and now feel guilty that it's looking bad. But no matter what, YOUR feelings have nothing to do with it. Don't feel guilty honey.

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  #4  
April 18th, 2009, 12:33 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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Location: MI
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I have to second what Brittanie said, your feelings didn't cause any of this, don't feel guilty. Or try not to anyway
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  #5  
April 18th, 2009, 04:27 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Definately don't feel like you have to do anything. After I lost Annika my step-mom thought I should be supportive of my step-sis' lost. I was not emotionally ready to help myself let alone another person.
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  #6  
April 18th, 2009, 07:29 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Brittanie View Post
I agree with Missy, you shouldn't feel obligated to reach out to her. I think part of it is also that you, like any of us would be, were jealous of this pregnancy, and now feel guilty that it's looking bad. But no matter what, YOUR feelings have nothing to do with it. Don't feel guilty honey.
*HUGS*
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  #7  
April 18th, 2009, 09:38 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: illinois
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thanks guys. Missy your right, she did not reach out to me, but she did to DH. I will just leave it to him to deal with his sister. To comfort her and be there for her. It would be better to get to know someone in your on family on better terms I guess. Hopefully her pregnancy will continue and everything will be fine. This totaly cured my envy though, I must say.
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