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Autopsy Results (xposted)


Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
April 29th, 2009, 11:55 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
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The proximal cause of death was anhydramnios - no amniotic fluid. Ethan had no amniotic fluid because his kidneys were severely malformed. He also had intestinal malformations and a two vessel cord (he was supposed to have 3 vessels). Because he had no amniotic fluid, his lungs failed to develop. He got plenty of oxygen from me, but he would not have been able to breathe after birth. But he would not have made it to birth - if we had not induced delivery, they think he would have died just a few weeks later. His little heart was so strong, and so healthy, but everything else was badly damaged. I was already in labor when we induced. So we know we made the right decision.

The reason Ethan had all these birth defects was because of diabetes - MY diabetes. But because I had no symptoms (like 1/3 of all diabetics) no one actually knew I was diabetic until the damage had been done. With enough psychotherapy, I will probably stop blaming myself at some point.

The only good news is that this won't happen to any future children. With the help of my doctors, and through my own hard work, my blood sugar is now better than most non-diabetics. We miss Ethan terribly, but we are looking forward to giving him a few siblings.

We didn't really learn anything new with this autopsy - just that he was much sicker than we realized. And the autopsy report didn't list my diabetes as a cause of death, because there is no test that can confirm that for sure (autopsy reports are legal documents and can't guess at things). But the fact that it was my diabetes that made him sick has been confirmed by the head of the department of maternal fetal medicine. So we know that is the cause, even if the autopsy report can quite say it.

Thank you so much for all of your support these past few months - you'll never know how helpful it has been. Hopefully in a few months I'll finally have some good news to share!

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  #2  
April 29th, 2009, 12:21 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh Rebecca honey, I can't even imagine going through that. I'm so sorry. I know that you said that you're working through it, but I just have to say this - it was NOT your fault. You didn't know.

You are an incredibly strong woman with a beautiful heart. You're going to be an amazing mommy one day.

Huge *HUGS*
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  #3  
April 29th, 2009, 01:57 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I seriously am crying for you honey. I am so sorry. Please dont blame yourself. As P said - you are going to be a fantastic mommy someday.

Many, Many Hugs,


Missy
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  #4  
April 29th, 2009, 04:16 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Im so glad you finally have closure on this, your beautiful son. And one day hopefully soon you will find the strength to not blame yourself. You are and will be again a wonderful mommy and any baby will be blessed to have you as a mommy.
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  #5  
April 29th, 2009, 05:38 PM
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I am new here, but I am so terribly sorry for you loss. I lost Baby B yesterday, but I keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason. I hope you have great news soon!
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  #6  
April 29th, 2009, 07:08 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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(((HUGS)))
Please don't blame yourself you didn't know, most people don't. I have thought they test at risk people too late in pregnancy. Dr thought I was stupid when I told them I had it at 11 wks. The rules need to be changed to protect mothers and babies.
I pray you give Ethan a few siblings to watch over.
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  #7  
April 30th, 2009, 11:40 PM
lilflower
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Rebecca, I am so sorry to hear that about your little Ethan. My thoughts are with you, and please don't blame yourself. I know that it is much easier to say that than actually do it, but don't..it will only tear you apart. Now that your diabetes is under control having another child is a safe thing. If you ever need anyone to talk to about that blaming yourself thing, feel free to PM me. It's been over a year now since I lost my precious Noah, and I still blame myself from day to day.
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  #8  
May 1st, 2009, 03:29 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry to hear about Ethan's results. I agree with all the other ladies - you did not know, this is NOT your fault. But I know you can't help how you feel. I blamed myself for a while with my (early) loss - I felt I couldn't blame anyone else and I needed to be mad at someone.
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  #9  
May 1st, 2009, 08:02 AM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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I know logically that it's not my fault, but I still feel so guilty. DH has been trying hard to convince me, I think it's going to be awhile before I get it straight in my head.
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  #10  
May 2nd, 2009, 02:12 PM
Kary♥RN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Rebecca it is not your fault!!! You had no idea you were not well. Diabetes is silent... Now you can be healthy in honor of Ethan!!!! HUGS to you Rebecca...
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  #12  
May 3rd, 2009, 01:10 PM
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Rebecca, I am so sorry, but it is not your fault
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  #13  
May 4th, 2009, 02:26 PM
Ryleeroo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Stay positive Rebecca! It is nothing you did wrong, and I think you are very brave for sharing your story. It is very very very close to my heart!!
I hope that we both can have happy healthy pregnancies very soon!
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