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Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
April 29th, 2009, 07:42 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
Yes, I am currently pregnant and scared.
I'm Tina 33 mom to two miracle baby boys Nick and Jon.
Most of my 12 losses were chemical so I will share the ones that weren't chemical.
Nov 15, 1995(due July 5, 1996) I was a few days late, so I didn't think about it because of PCOS(plus 19 and dumb), I had a gushing bleeding for three hours and passed what I thought was clots and it pretty well stopped, I didn't think anything of it, until two weeks later when I started cramping again, I took a HPT and it was positive. I started bleeding again so my X and I went to the ER where they confirmed I was having a Miscarriage. When I saw the OB I told him what happened a few weeks before and he was 95% certain I was pregnant with twins.

Then I had a chemical that March.
Then in June I found out I was pregnant again and with the help of dexamethazone I was staying pregnant. I was due Feb 21, 1997. We were doing great and found out we were having twins, they shared a placenta, so we were told identical. On Sept 12, the X and I were having an argument when he failed to stop and hit a truck. I was taken to the hospital were I was told the babies were doing fine and was sent home. On Sept 20, at 16wks 6days I had my regular OB visit and there was no HB on either baby, the U/S showed they had passed Sept. 15, three days after the wreck.
I can't seem to figure out how they didn't pass the day the wreck happened. I was induced and was able to deliver my baby girls Brittany and Bethany. We were stupid and didn't take pictures.

After that the X wanted to try even harder for a baby. I wanted to grieve but gave in. The next two years I had 3 more chemicals. The X and I divorced over him cheating and I couldn't give him a child.

I met Fred in 2000, I had already given up on having children, so I went on Birth Control. During the worst snow storm ever we concieved a baby. Our sweet baby was due Sept 14, 2003. The OB I had was very against heavy women so at 12 wks when he didn't find the baby's HB is was blamed on my weight. He didn't want to see me back for 3 wks and evern then he blamed my weight on not finding the baby and refused to do an u/s even though I was feeling sick, I had a bad fever. I went home called around and found another OB, the next week I go in and she does a U/S and find our baby had been gone for 5 wks. She did a D&E, we had the baby tested. Our baby came out of me May 14, 2003. When the test cam eback it showed Trisomy 18 and it was another baby girl her name is Caitlyn Isabella.
Then I have Nick who was Due Sept 12, 2004, he was born August 13, 2004.
I had a chemical after Nick, we were shocked because we were using protection. So we stepped up the protection, and surprise we get pregnant with Jon 4 wks after the chemical. Jon was Due Nov 27, 2005 but was eagar to meet mom and arrived at 32 wks on Oct. 10, 2005.
After Jon we waited a year to decided if we wanted another one.
I had a 2 chemicals before May 2008. I lost Matthew Sept 2008 at 7 wks (don't know if it was a boy but had that feeling)He was due May 14, 2009.
I had another chemical in Nov 2008.
I am due Sept 13(the 16 by LMP and the 23 by the first U/S) One Dr is using the 16 and the other the 23. I had a positive AFP for 1:36 for Trisomy 18, nothing showed up on U/S so it increased to 1:72.
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  #2  
April 30th, 2009, 08:51 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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Wow, you've been through the ringer, haven't you? I'm sorry honey. I'm sorry you're so scared right now.

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  #3  
April 30th, 2009, 08:51 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Last edited by Brittanie; April 30th, 2009 at 09:45 AM.
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  #4  
April 30th, 2009, 09:21 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
Right now I miss what could of been. May really sucks, for me. I go back to the Dr May 11, he wants amnio I don't want to have it because this is my last baby no matter what, and it's my baby.
I wonder what Caitlyn would of been like if she would of been like Nick or Jon but then I think if she was here Jon might not be.
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  #5  
April 30th, 2009, 11:08 AM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Dallas, Oregon
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WOW! I couldn't even imagine what you've been thru emotionally. I'm with you on the Amnio-I would do it either. Actually, this time around I'm sure they will want to for me b/c of my age and past pgs. I'm stilll saying NO. No matter what this will always be my baby.
Welcome to our board.

Have you introduced yourself to the ladies on PAL(pregnancy after loss) yet? I'm sure you'll find all the support you need on both boards. HUGS
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  #6  
April 30th, 2009, 11:19 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
Yeah I'm over at PAL but around this time of the year I'm really depressed. I can't seem to really enjoy things right now even though I am trying.
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  #7  
April 30th, 2009, 01:23 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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Yeah, I totally get the depression around this time of year Tina. Did you know that my due date with Cora was May 14? Something we have in common.
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  #8  
April 30th, 2009, 02:25 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
I saw that and It's a hard day all around. I'm so sorry for your loss of Cora. Everytime I look at her face, I think Patrick looks just like her. No one here understands why I'm depressed since I had Nick a year after Caitlyn and I will be pregnant on my Due date. That was also my babies. Even though I didn't carry them long I loved them but Family has no idea. The worst thing that was ever said to me was after I lost Caitlyn, my niece told me "I guess grandma and grandpa wanted your daughter up there more than God wanted you to have her". My parents(biological grandparents had both passed Dad in 2001, Mom 2003) this time of year I have a hard time talking to her that hurt so much. I used to wonder what I ever did to deserve so many angels, I still don't know why but I'm thankful for the babies I do have.
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  #9  
April 30th, 2009, 03:51 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I am so sorry for all that you have gone through. What a tough journey. Unless one has experienced a loss they don't fully understand what we go through. When I was in my 20's I had a couple of friends with losses that went on to have babies soon after. I am a sensative person but never understood why they were so sad with their loss when they had babies. Now I know all too well. ((Hugs)) I hope the next 21 weeks go by uneventful for you.
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
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Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.



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  #10  
April 30th, 2009, 04:40 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,842
I'm so sorry for your losses. Hopefully you will find support here.
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  #11  
April 30th, 2009, 10:56 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,352
Im so sorry for all of your losses. What a journey you have been on through the years, Im sure you cant wait to hold this lo and finally be done with fear of pregnancy. Im also sorry you had all of your excitement that pregnancy should bring stolen from you. I hope as the months go on, you will enjoy the movements and the growing lo inside you. You deserve a happy ending.
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  #12  
May 1st, 2009, 02:37 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Houston, TX
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Im so sorry to hear the things you have gone through. I hope your baby is growing strong and wish you the best!
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