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Forum: Pregnancy Loss

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  #1  
May 8th, 2009, 02:39 PM
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Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 4
Hi,

I am new to this forum, looking for some comfort and understanding and a place to talk about what nobody else wants to hear. They don't want to hear it because it's ugly, painful, and doesn't end with a cuddly little infant being passed around in a pastel blanket.

I had a miscarriage. It has been one year and 7 months. I didn't get to deal with it or start grieving until recently, because of the situation. I had to push past and pretend it didn't happen. And since others didn't know, there were no questions. And now, after I got out of the bad situation that I was in (an abusive relationship) and have finally dealt with that relationship, it's like I am finally "remembering" that this happened to me and that...oh my good Lord, I lost my child! I have been trying to work through the grieving process for around 2 months now...but yesterday was the first time I was able to talk about it to someone and have them actually care and cry with me. So I feel like all the sudden....it's hitting me really really hard. It's real now. Isn't it? This is so hard and confusing.

And now, mother's day is coming in a few days. Right when I start really dealing with this for the first time (coincidence?). This would have been my first Mother's day as a mom, if my son would have been born full-term.
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  #2  
May 8th, 2009, 04:41 PM
LIZZYI's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,453
I am so sorry for your loss!! The ladies on this board are a terrific support system! We are here for you!
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  #3  
May 8th, 2009, 05:10 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
I'm so sorry for your loss, honey.

I'm glad that you're able to finally grieve and work through your feelings. *HUGS*
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  #4  
May 8th, 2009, 05:47 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754
I am so sorry for your loss! I'm glad that you are finally dealing with your feelings, and that you had someone who you could actually talk to and cry to. I hope that helped at least a little bit.
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  #5  
May 8th, 2009, 07:34 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,417
I am so sorry for your loss. We understand everything of what you are feeling and going through. And although your loss did not just happen, it doesn't make it anymore less painful. Feel free to vent away, we are a great group here and there is nothing you can say that we haven't heard/said before.

I hope you find this place a little healing. I really cherish my friends here, without them I would still be in bed, under the covers, crying out in pain. They have helped me heal more than they even realize.

We are here for you.
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Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
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  #6  
May 9th, 2009, 08:22 PM
momof8lopez's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: illinois
Posts: 8,306
iam so sorry for your pain, and glad that you found us here. Once you start talking about it and letting yourself realize the pain, your on the road to recovery. The most important thing is that your out of the abusive relationship that would not let you greive to beigin with. You sound like a strong woman, and I hope to learn more about you when your ready. Again, Im so sorry for your loss......
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  #7  
May 9th, 2009, 08:42 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,565
I agree with Missy, even though your loss isn't recent doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt. Especially if you weren't able to deal with it at the time. I lost my Cora 3 years ago and it still hurts. It's not as sharp or stabbing, but still there.

If you want your angel added to our memorial list, feel free to add your information to the sticky.

I'm sorry that you have to come here, but I'm glad you found us. I'm sorry you don't have your sweet baby.
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Last edited by Brittanie; May 11th, 2009 at 06:53 AM.
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  #8  
May 11th, 2009, 04:10 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,389
I am so sorry for your loss.
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  #9  
May 11th, 2009, 09:00 AM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Dallas, Oregon
Posts: 7,100
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Many hugs to you Sweetie. It doesn't matter if it's been 7 wks, 7 mo or a yr and 7 wk. the fact is you lost something that was dear and near to you. No one can fully understand what it is like to lose a child until it happens and when it does it hurts. Many women have had to push on and forward b.c of situations but eventually they have to deal with those emotions.
I'm so glad you found us. This is truly a safe haven for many of us dealing with our loss and the issues that come with it.
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